Winter seemed to have snuck up on us, time sure did fly when I was around them. To be honest, ever since joining the swim club I feel more comfortable with myself. Not having to hide the fact that I'm a girl has really changed things...
I guess I could say, I've come out of my shell.
The winter dance still had my legs feeling sore, I thought the ladies would've been more interested in the others but as Nagisa stated.
"Jun-Chan, you act like you don't know the girls want you! We'll probably get 4 maybe 5 girls to dance with us but the most requested will be you. I can't seem to understand how you're a girl but yet you attract girls."
I must've danced all night...We made about 6,000¥ which is about 50 US dollars...dancing for 4 hours almost nonstop to make 50 bucks.
I sighed.
"Jun"
"Yeah?" I looked at Sakura.
"What are we going to do for Christmas?" She asked. "Grandma and Grandpa went to Spain"
I shrugged. "I don't know. You wanna go someplace tropical?"
"We never spend Christmas here, have you noticed?"
"You know how I feel about that..." I said.
"Yeah...I know."
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"The bakery, I'll be right back." She said. "Want anything?"
"Nah...just be careful" I said.
"I will" she said as she closed the door.
I sighed.
She's right about not never spending Christmas here but it brings too many painful memories... That's why I always insist we go someplace tropical. The winter season doesn't really appeal to me like it used too...
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Thanks for meeting me here everyone"
Nagisa: Is something the matter Sakura-Chan?
"Jun always gets kind of down during the holidays, Christmas isn't exactly jolly for her and I was wondering if you'd like to spend Christmas with us. Maybe then it'll make her change her mind, we could do 'Secret Santa' or something"
Nagisa: That sounds like a great idea!
She smiled back at me. "Thanks"
Rei: Well I'm in.
Makoto: Haru?
Haru: I was thinking of staying in my bath tub.
Makoto: We're coming too.
I smiled. "Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me, I can't remember the last time Jun actually enjoyed Christmas. It used to be her most favorite thing but I guess along the way she decided it wasn't for her. Akihiro and Ryota are out of town so they won't be coming either "
Nagisa: Do we pick names now?
"Anyone have a pen and paper?"
Rei: There's a napkin?
"That works too"
Makoto handed me a pen.
He makes me nervous... I've never liked a boy this much before.
I wrote the names on pieces of napkin then put the pieces in my beanie.
"Okay, I'll go first" I grabbed a piece and handed the beanie to Rei.
I looked at the paper, Makoto.
My heart began to race. This is my chance, I can totally give him a hint that I like him... But what of he doesn't feel the same? I'll make a total fool of myself.
Nagisa: Yay~
Rei: So we can ask anyone about what to get the person except the person we got?
Nagisa: You got me didn't you?
Rei: No! It was just a question.
"Yes Rei-Kun, that's how this works. Also...I'll need help getting Jun out of the house. She doesn't like to go shopping..."
Haru: Why don't you ask Gou?
I smiled. "I think I will, so we'll meet at my house on the 24th and I'll see if Gou can take Jun for the day. Why didn't she come?"
Nagisa: She's with Rin-chan
"Oh I see. Well I'll see you guys then and thanks for helping me out." I smiled.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
-Gou-
"Onii-chan, won't you just make peace with them already?"
"No way. I know what I'm doing alright?" He scoffed.
"But we can spend Christmas with them, my friend Sakura invited me and I told her I'd ask you"
"Why me?" He asked.
"Because I'm not going to leave you alone on Christmas eve. Please?"
He sighed heavily. "No. If you wanna go then go right ahead, I'm not going to waste my time and energy at some pointless party."
I sighed. "I really wanted you to meet my new friends..."
"Then why don't you bring your friends here?"
"Really?" My eyes lit up.
"No...Now leave me alone" he yawned and walked to his room.
There has to be a way to get him and the others reunited again...
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
"So you don't wanna travel somewhere?" I asked.
"No, I miss the snow. Why can't we just stay? Just this one time, don't be such a joy kill Jun"
I sighed. "Do whatever you want but leave me out of it."
"Jun just because we don't have our parents and Hikaru here anymore doesn't mean we can't enjoy it"
"Are you listening to yourself right now?" I scoffed. "Ugh, I don't wanna talk about this Sakura just do what you need to but leave me out of it, alright?!"
I walked upstairs and slammed the door of my room.
I can't believe her!
Just because we don't have our parents and Hikaru here anymore doesn't mean we can't enjoy it
How could she say that?!
I looked out the window, I hate this time of year...it'll never be the same again. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait for Christmas to come and now I hope the year goes slow so that I won't have to deal with it. Hikaru, Sakura and I used to love building snowmen...one time we built our entire family or so that's what we said...
-Flashback-
"We don't have carrots so we'll use rocks." Hikaru said.
"But our eyes and mouth are rocks" I said.
"How about celery? That's all we have" Sakura smiled.
"Celery tastes yucky anyway, let's use it" I giggled.
"Why is mom so round?" I asked Sakura.
"She's not round! That's her chest!" She exclaimed.
"Looks like her stomach" Hikaru teased.
"You two always bully me!" She threw snow at us.
I laughed at Hikaru, he had a big bulge of snow on his beanie. It looked really funny, Sakura laughed along.
"That's it! You're both going to get it now!" He began to pile snow together.
-End Of Flashback-
Sakura and I quickly ganged up on him, throwing one snow ball after another. We chased each other around the yard and towards the end our family of snowmen was nowhere to be found.
We laughed and laughed until our stomach's hurt then the next day were in bed with fevers.
I slightly smiled at the memory.
Hikaru...Mom...Dad...
I miss you so much, especially around Christmas. I don't know what to do with myself, I want to feel happy and enjoy it but without all of you...it's meaningless...
*Knock Knock Knock*
"Jun...Can I come in?"
I unlocked the door and sat on my bed.
She opened the door and there was a box in her hands, I already knew what was inside...old photo albums and some other memorabilia.
I scowled.
"Jun, don't you wanna remember the good times?" She asked as she walked in.
"For what? So when we're done I can be reminded of them not being here?" I said.
"Don't be like this...Jun, I miss them too but we haven't talked about them in so long...you asked me what I wanted for Christmas the other day and this is what I want...to remember the good times we had with them and to keep their memory alive. Don't you ever feel like we've grown apart because of this? It's not just hard for you its also hard for me. I may not remember everything but since that day I've asked myself over and over if Hikaru died because he gave me his life jacket and that stupid life saver."
Her eyes began to tear up.
"Sakura, you're wrong. You didn't know how to swim well and plus you were unconscious."
"He still should've taken the vest!" She exclaimed.
"Shut up! You don't even know! He died because I was too scared to offer him my vest!" I exclaimed. "He died of exhaustion!"
Her eyes widened.
"He died....because of me..."
"Jun...don't say that."
I felt the tears stream down my face.
"He died because of me Sakura! If I wasn't so afraid of giving him my vest he would've been able to float but I only thought of myself!"
She slapped me.
!
"Don't say that! Even if you had offered it to him, Hikaru wouldn't had accepted it! He would've lied and said he was fine! Don't do this to yourself Jun!"
I looked up at her.
"It wasn't and isn't your fault...Is that why you chose to be like this?"
"No..." I said.
"Then why? Tell me!"
I took a deep breath.
"No secrets..." I began. "Hikaru made me promise before he died that I'd take care of you like a big brother...the way he took care of us."
"Jun, you're my sister. It doesn't matter if you dress like a guy or not, you'll never be Hikaru. He didn't tell you to go all out...he told you to protect me. You always have and you didn't have to look like boy to do it, I love you sis and all I want is to see you happy. Truly happy, not fake a smile but mean it. If being a guy makes you unhappy because it hides who you are then don't do it anymore..."
She hugged me and hugged her back tightly.
"I can't back out now. It's not that easy, besides...I'm happy when you're happy Sakura. Seeing you smile is all I care about, don't worry about me because I know what I'm doing okay? Even if Hikaru didn't mean it literally it's how I feel more comfortable." I said.
"I'm going to pray until that maroon haired guy comes into your life!"
"That's definitely not going to happen...I already told you what I think about silly stuff like that."
She pulled away from me. "If he does you won't be able to resist, plus if he sees you then he'll have to remember. Who could ever forget such a cute face?"
"Knock it off..." I scowled. "Let's look in the box already"
We sat on the floor and she took out the photo albums.
I hesitated at first to open the album but maybe this is just what I need...Sakura and I haven't done this since the 5th grade. That was the last time we truly spoke or reminisced about mom, dad and Hikaru.
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
"Do I have too?" I groaned. "It's cold outside"
"Please? I need help to pick a present for my brother. The others were too busy and Sakura's gonna get started with tonight's dinner." Gou said. "Do this one favor for me? Jun-Chan ~"
"Fine. Let me go change and we'll go" I said.
"Are you going as-"
"No..." I interrupted Sakura.
I went upstairs to do my usual routine, bandage binding followed by the vest. I got dressed and fixed my hair, it had a messy structure which I loved. I put BB cream on my face then walked downstairs.
"Alright, I'm ready."
"Jun-Senpai, I know you're not really a guy but...you're so handsome. One of the cutest boys I've ever seen~"
"Heh. Thanks, I mean you're not the first girl to say that but yet again you're the only girl besides Sakura to know I'm a girl" I scratched my head.
"It's quite amazing really. The way you look, when will you dress like girl? I want to see~" Gou smiled.
I sighed. "Why?"
"Because, I'm curious. You're a cute flower boy but I wanna see if you make an even cuter girl ~"
"She does! You know when we were in Australia-"
"Sakura!"
"What? I was going to tell her about how we spent a girl's day. Look I have pictures ~"
She took her cellphone out and showed Gou.
(¬_¬) Girls...
Gou squealed. "You're so adorable!!! It almost seems impossible how that can be this!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
Sakura giggled.
"Hehehehe. I mean it's such a drastic change, you look both as a girl and a guy. Although I have to say I like how you look as a girl, Senpai you should got to school as a girl. I mean that's what you are after all." She said.
"Thank you! See? I'm not the only that thinks so Jun" Sakura said.
"No way. Kou let's get going, you know how crowded the mall gets this time of year plus it's Christmas eve..."
"Oh right. Well we're off Sakura-Chan ~ See you later" Gou smiled.
"Have fun you two~ hmm. Kind of looks like you're a couple"
!
"Shut up...Come on Kou" I said feeling embarrassed.
I put my shoes on and we made our way to the mall.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
"So where do you wanna go first?" I asked her.
"Let's go to all the stores" she smiled.
"Fine" I said as I put my hands in my pockets.
Gou walked beside me.
Everyone's staring at us...I mean Gou is a really cute and pretty girl, she stands out from the other girls here. But the stares are of a...
Kind of looks like you're a couple.
Oh. Right...
"Senpai, you're a cool guy. You know that?"
!
"What're you talking about?" I looked at her.
"I think you're cool. The way you are and how you act, are like this when you...you know."
"I've always been like this well...kind of. Hikaru was the coolest one in our little group, he was popular in school."
"Just like you" she smiled. "You know Senpai, I think if your brother were here he'd be the jealous kind."
"Heh. Yeah he was" I smiled. "I don't know, sometimes I feel like he's not really...dead. I mean his hand went limp in mine, I saw the current take him away but there's always been a part of me that makes me feel like he's still around"
"He's always in your heart Senpai. The love you share for him is strong and even if he's no longer present the bond you share it's.. I don't know. I can't really put it into words but it's good that you feel this way"
I patted her head. "Thanks Kou"
She blushed.
"Gou-Kun!"
Hmm?
"Seijuro? What are you doing here? And it's Kou! Not Gou!"
He looked at me then back at her. "Does Rin know you're on a date?"
"D-Date?! No! Jun-Kun and I aren't like that" she shook her head.
"Looks like a date to me" he teased. "But don't worry I won't tell Rin, he'd blow a fuse if he knew you had a boyfriend... Too bad, I thought you were pretty cute"
She turned beet red.
"So you here to buy each other something?" He asked.
"Actually...Senpai is helping me pick something out for Rin." She said. "Rin isn't with you is he?"
He shook his head. "I invited him but he said he was busy"
"Busy? Doing what?"
He shrugged. "He didn't say but anyway, I have to go. It was nice seeing you Gou and...what was your name?"
He smiled at me.
"Jun" I said.
"Jun" he repeated. "Have fun on your date. See ya around and Merry Christmas"
"Thanks. Merry Christmas"
"B-But! This isn't a date!" Gou cried out.
He waved goodbye and made his way.
"He seems to have a thing for you Kou" I said.
"N-No he doesn't. He's..." Her eyes widened. "We have to go."
"Go? Why?"
"My brother's here...hurry up!"
She grabbed my wrist and pulled me quickly.
"So what if your brother's here?" I looked at her.
"I don't want him to know I'm here" she said as we walked into a random store.
"Welcome! Are you looking to spice up your...oh my, aren't you a little young to be in this store?"
Hmm?
⊙︿⊙
This is...an erotic store...
I felt the heat rise to my face.
I grabbed Gou's hand and we marched out of there.
"Senpai?"
"Let's go somewhere else, do you see your brother around?"
"No, it looks like the coast is clear. Maybe he was following me? Regardless let's just do some shopping then we can go back to your place." She said as she looked around.
"Sure..." I nodded.
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
We went to countless stores, when it comes to being with Sakura at the mall it's a hassle but being with Kou kind of felt...no actually they're the same just that Kou was better at getting what she wanted then buy it and leave. Sakura liked to scan the whole store and is really indecisive.
I already had gifts for the guys back home but I wanted to buy Sakura something... Gou bought her brother some new swim gear and a nice jacket.
"Kou, you're girly like my sister... What do you think she would like?" I asked.
"Hmm, what about that?" She pointed at this cute pink dress.
It was so girly it hurt...
"Can you try it on?" I asked.
2 girls giggled when I asked.
?!
I turned to look at them. "Is something the matter ladies?"
They turned red and kept walking.
I'm not a pervert...geez. I just wanna see how it looks.
"Sure thing Senpai. I'll be right back~"
Gou grabbed the dress and headed over to the dressing room.
"You make such a lovely couple" the store owner said.
!
"Oh she's not my girlfriend, we're friends" I said. "But thank you"
"Oh? You're single? Do you like older women?" She winked.
!!!
"Actually... See we're friends but, I have a crush on her. I'm flattered and all but-"
She placed a finger on my lips. "No need to be shy hot stuff"
Hot stuff?
She slapped my butt.
"Jun-senpai~ what do you-...hey! What do you think you're doing lady?!" Gou exclaimed.
"That dress looks wonderful on you" she said as she stepped away from me.
"Do you think she'll like it?" I asked.
"I'm not sure about the front I mean hers would probably burst out don't you think?"
"Do you have a dress like that but for a girl with a DD cup?" I asked.
"Only on the color purple, it's more of a lilac color really" she said.
"I'll take it" I said.
"Gou, that dress really suits you. I'd like to buy it for you if you don't mind" I smiled.
"Senpai, the price is.."
"Just take it" I said.
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
-Sakura-
The boys decorated the place while I finished up in the kitchen, they were currently decorating Jun's room and Nagisa said he'd dress up as Santa. They were pretty happy about helping me out, Haru had his usual expression but I knew he was just as jolly as the rest of us otherwise he wouldn't be here.
I can't wait until they get home, I hope Jun smiles. I want to see her enjoy Christmas eve like before, she deserves it. If only I could find that guy she saw in Australia, that would make it even better. I mean it's not so much that I want to push her into a relationship but I don't know, I guess I want her to experience it. I think if she found the right guy she wouldn't be afraid to be who she is...a girl. I feel like the whole guy thing is getting to a point where she just wants to stay that way, it doesn't make sense to me but maybe because I don't fully understand what she promised Hikaru.
I sighed.
Hikaru...I wish you were here.
"Need any help?"
!!
"M-Makoto...umm n-no. It's alright"
My heart raced.
Oh man...he makes me so nervous.
"I'll set the table then" he smiled.
I felt the heat rush to my face. "Thank you..."
I turned back to the stove.
Keep it together Sakura!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sucks that you can't come over. But maybe tomorrow if you're not busy you can hang out with us" I smiled.
"Definitely! Is it okay if I bring my brother along?" She asked.
"Sure thing. I don't mind, its about time we meet him don't you think?"
She smiled back. "Thanks for going with me today. I really appreciate it and don't be so down okay? Christmas is a time for happiness. I'll see you tomorrow ~"
She hugged me and I hugged her back.
"Merry Christmas eve Kou"
"Merry Christmas eve Senpai" she said as she pulled away.
"You'd better go inside, It's cold you might get sick"
She nodded. "Be careful Senpai and have a good night"
I watched her walk inside her house. She waved goodbye then I made my way home.
First thing I'm going to do when I get home is get out of these clothes, then give Sakura her gift. I guess I'll go visit the boys tomorrow and give them their gifts. Maybe I should've invited them over for dinner so Sakura and I wouldn't be alone.
I sighed heavily.
My cellphone rang.
"Hello?"
"Onii-chan ~ When are you coming home?"
"I'm almost there, I'm around the block. Can you do me a favor and take my clothes out for me? They're in the dryer and I wanna take these clothes off. They're kind of moist from the snow and I'm cold"
"I have a better idea~ why don't you wear the gift I bought for you?"
"What gift?"
"You'll see~"
"Then you have to wear mine" I said.
"Deal. See you in a bit~"
"Okay. Bye"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I unlocked the door and walked inside.
"Sakura?"
"I'm upstairs, in your room~"
I took my shoes off and went upstairs.
"What happened to my room?" I asked.
"Don't you like it?"
I smiled. "Yeah, the decorations are cute. Did you make them?"
"Not really. I had some help but as long as you like them then I'm happy"
"It makes the occasion really jolly. I love the colors" I looked around.
It was really cute, reminds me of when mother used to do decorate.
"I'm going to do your hair and makeup. I don't want to hear it, here. Open your gift"
"Open yours too" I gave her the box.
We opened it at the same time, my eyes widened. She bought me the same exact dress as I had bought her except mine was light blue.
"Guess we do have similar tastes don't we?" She giggled.
"At least we're alone...this is way too girly for my taste"
She closed the door.
I went to the restroom to change. I looked in the mirror and sighed, it's a little short for my taste but at least it covers my boobs. I suppose it is rather cute...even on me.
"Can I come in?" Sakura asked.
"Yeah"
She opened the door and was wearing hers.
"You fill it out nicely Sakura" I smiled.
"You look so cute~~ so innocent and Omg. I just can't right now, can I hug you and squeeze you?!~~"
!
"No! Get away from me!"
She hugged me tightly. "You're so so cute~~~"
She cuddled her face on mine.
"S-sakura!!!"
"Oh right. Hair and makeup!"
She sat me on the toilet seat and I closed my eyes.
"I wish I could do this every day" she sighed. "Your hair's getting long sis, are you gonna grow it out?"
"No, once it gets to my shoulders I'll cut it again."
She put hairspray on my hair then went on to doing my makeup.
"Sakura, is this what you do you every morning?"
"Yup. I mean I don't wear much really just some BB cream, Falsies, mascara and eye liner"
"But your hair"
"Oh, yeah it takes me a while but beauty takes time my dear sister"
"I think you look just as beautiful without all this stuff"
"Aw. Thanks. Okay you're done"
I opened my eyes and she applied eyeliner.
"Ugh. I hate this feeling...my face feels really heavy."
"This is what I'd love to see every day but unfortunately that's not the case. Now come on" she retouched her eye liner and put some lip gloss on. "We'd better head downstairs. Dinner will get cold."
We went downstairs.
"HO HO HO!"
?
I walked to the dining room.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
('･_･')
Nagisa was dressed as Santa Claus and Rei had Reindeer antlers. At least Makoto and Haru were normally dressed, I expected some elves maybe...
Nagisa: Jun-Chan! You look so cute!
!!!!!
My outfit!!!
I looked down, feeling embarrassed.
"Doesn't she?" Sakura said as she came.
I'm going to kill her...
Haru: I like the color...
I began to blush.
Haru: It's like the water...
(●__●) Well isn't he the charmer.
Rei: Jun-Chan, you look great. No need to feel embarrassed.
I fiddled with my hands.
Makoto: Why don't you have a seat? I'm sure you're hungry after being out all day.
I sat next to Haru.
Nagisa: Jun-Chan?
I looked up at him.
Nagisa: Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ I can't stand it! You're so cute! You're too cute!
Rei: I think if Jun went to school as a female student she'd even be more popular.
Nagisa: But then we wouldn't be around her as much, all the boys would crowd around her (╯︵╰,)
Makoto: Yeah, it would be kind of hard to get a hold of her. Jun doesn't really like the girls to swoon over imagine how annoyed she'd be if it were the boys.
"I'd be really annoyed" I agreed. "Enough talk, let's eat" I said.
"Seems like you're comfortable now aren't you?" Sakura smiled.
(¬_¬)
"What?" She looked at me.
"Say Makoto, do you have a girlfriend?" I smiled slyly.
Sakura: (●__●)
Makoto blushed. "Girlfriend?"
I nodded. "Yeah, do you?"
"N-No"
"What about you guys?" I asked.
Haru: Yes.
Nagisa: YOU DO?!
Makoto: Who? You've never mentioned anyone before.
Rei: Hmm. Who would've thought, you're really good at keeping it a secret Senpai.
"Wait...you're serious?" I asked.
Haru: (nod) I'm in a romantic relationship with water.
ಠ_ಠ
Everyone let out a chuckle.
Makoto: Haru...
He smiled warmly.
"Enough chat. Let's eat" Sakura smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner we gathered in the living room.
"Secret Santa? Why didn't anyone tell me?! Hmm. Well since you're giving out gifts, I'll go get the ones I got"
I went upstairs and gathered the gifts then headed back downstairs. I gave them each their gift.
Nagisa: Jun-Chan! You didn't have too~
Rei: Thank you. This is so thoughtful of you.
Haru: Is it water related? (Shakes box)
Makoto: Jun, thank you. This was sweet of you.
Nagisa: Do we all exchange gifts now?
Sakura nodded.
I wonder who she got for secret Santa.
She blushed as she handed her gift to Makoto.
Hmm.
Makoto handed her a gift too and I knew something was going on, the way they looked at each other just now...
I smiled, it's been a long time since I've seen Sakura look like that.
Nagisa: I knew you got me! I just knew it~
Everyone was having such a good time, sharing smiles and laughter. The atmosphere was filled with the positive vibe, it felt like I was a kid again. This warm happy feeling...
I went to go wash the dishes, it was only fair. Sakura did all the cooking and well it's the least I can do.
I felt a tap on my shoulder.
?
"Oh..Haru" I stopped washing and dried my hands.
He handed me a small box. "Merry Christmas"
He smiled warmly.
!!
He's smiling...this is the second time...
"Thank you..." I blushed.
Nagisa: It's a mistletoe! You have too~
Hmm?
We looked over to the others.
Nagisa held a mistletoe in between Sakura and Makoto who were both as red as Rudolf's nose.
Nagisa: Aw come on~
Sakura kissed Makoto on the cheek.
I slightly smiled.
Maybe now she'll get the courage to tell him how she feels. Makoto is a great person and I'd be honored to call him my brother-in-law, he's perfect for her. Definitely a guy who's worthy of my sister.
Nagisa: Looky looky~
!!!!
I looked up.
Haru had a surprised look on his face.
"N-Nagisa! What're you doing?"
Nagisa: Don't you know what a mistletoe is?
"Yes but-"
Nagisa: Haru-Chan ~
I gulped.
"H-He can't, Haru is in a committed relationship already!"
Nagisa: Jun-Chan, have you ever kissed a boy before?
!!!
Rei: My guess is, no but does CPR count?
Nagisa: Oh yeah~ Haru-Chan gave you the kiss of life!
"Because I was dying if not I don't think he would've done that"
Rei: Jun-Senpai, does it embarrass you to take about this kind of thing?
Haru: Let's just get this over with...(sigh)
I felt a peck on the cheek.
Nagisa: Yatta! Haru-Chan you actually did it!
（//>_<//)
Sakura: You guys wanna watch a movie?
Anything but having to deal with this...I can't believe Haru actually did that, I mean he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to just do something spontaneous like this...but....he did...
Haru: Are you coming Jun?
!
"Y-Yeah...I'll be right there"
He walked towards the living room.
"If I didn't know any better...I'd say you're beginning to crush on Haru" Sakura whispered.
!!
"Am not!" I whispered back. "Why don't you sit next to Makoto?!"
"Maybe I will!"
I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Seems like that Australian boy has some competition"
She walked out of the kitchen.
No way, Haru is way too preoccupied with swimming and water in general... Why am I even thinking about this?
I looked over to the counter and saw the small box he had given me.
Secret Santa... If she would've told me I could've done this the right way. Get him something a little more special, I guess.
I grabbed the box and opened it.
It's a cute blue crystal Dolphin pendant necklace...would it be weird if I wore it right now?
"Jun! Come on~" Sakura called out.
"Coming!" I said.
I put the necklace on and made my way to the living room. The movie, Nutcracker Fantasy. I haven't seen it in a very long time, I wanted to be mad at Sakura for putting this one but...it's time for me to let go of all the negativity and bitterness... I mean these are old memories and new made memories too.
I sat on the floor like a child in kindergarten, Indian style. I hugged a pillow and began to watch the movie.
"Sakura! Quit dancing in front of the TV! We can't see the movie!"
"Then come dance with me~ it's much more fun!"
"I'll be the bad guy and you two can be the ballerinas"
I smiled but then began to feel upset...
I can't do this, I got up and excused myself. I went upstairs and sighed, no matter what I do I can't seem to chill out when it comes to things that remind me of my childhood especially when I'm reminded of Hikaru.
I sat on the floor and decided to look at the photo albums.
My room door opened.
"Is it okay if I come in?" Haru asked.
!
"Um...yeah"
He sat next to me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine" I forced a smile. "Just a little...I don't know, it's kind of hard for me to just pretend like I'm having a good time"
"Pretend?"
"Not in a bad way...Iguess I just miss having my parents and my brother around. This is the first time we've stayed in Japan, usually I like to fly out and pretend Christmas doesn't exist"
"Jun...You don't have to feel like you're alone. We're all here for you, if something is bothering you then you don't have to go through it on your own"
He picked up an album and started looking through it.
Haru seems like he doesn't really much care for anyone's worries. He's usually really quiet and doesn't do much. He's always in the water or thinking about water.
"Is this you?"
"Hmm? Oh..yeah. It is." I said.
He turned the page over. "You know, I can't say I fully understand what you're going through but bottling it up and never talking about it isn't good. How long has it been since you've smiled like this?"
"I smile all the time, what're you talking about?"
"No. Not like this, you don't smile with feeling. It's more of a way to throw everyone off. So no one will suspect how you really feel"
My eyes widened.
He closed the photo album and looked at me.
"If you need someone to listen...I'm here"
"Haru..."
"You're wearing it" he said as he looked at the necklace.
"Yeah, it's really cute. Thank you Haru..." I said with a smile.
His eyes gleamed.
I looked away and felt flustered.
"So where have you gone? Did you go swimming?"
"Uh yeah, here's the photo album." I dug into the box and handed it to him.
"We've gone to numerous beaches and also pools. I mean of course I didn't swim but Sakura did, I'm still kind of scared of the water"
"Do you want me to teach you?"
"Teach me?"
"To swim" he said.
"But..."
"You don't have to be afraid. I'll be right there with you, I promise"
"Thank you"
I leaned on him and yawned.
He kept turning the pages and I began telling him of the places we visited and everything we saw. Before I knew it I had closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
-Haru-
She's not water but when I'm around her it's just as if she were...I don't know if it was just me but it wasn't really a surprise when she said she was a girl and not really a guy.
She has interesting stories, I really enjoyed this time I got to spend with her. I'm not very good with words or expressing my emotions but she knows just what I feel by just looking at me.
I don't have an interest in any girls but...there's a first for anything and she's the first.