CHAPTER 21
BLAKE'S POV
Nagising ako nang may narinig akong nagtatawanan. Anak ng. Nakatulog pala ako! Pagbukas ko ng mga mata ko, saktong binagsak na 'yung pintuan. Tumayo ako at napansin na... akala ko nasa bahay ako nina Luke. Na kina Nicolle pa din pala ako.
Dumiretso ako sa kusina para kumain saglit. Pagkabukas ko sa fridge niya, puro pizza, bacon, eggs, cereals lang nakita ko. Tch. Wala na ba 'tong ibang kinakain? Sumimangot na lang ako nang mapansing ang gulo ng kusina niya.
Lahat ng ginamit nilang plato nakatambak na lang sa may sink tapos mga bote ng gatas, bottled water, energy drink nakakalat lang sa floor. Anak ng! Babae ba 'to?! Eh mas maayos pa pala ang kwarto ko sa kusina neto eh.
Kung marunong lang akong maglinis... tatawag na nga lang ako ng maintenance staff! Bumalik ako sa sala at tinawagan yung receptionist sa may ground floor.
"Yes, Miss Lee?" tanong niya agad.
"Si Blake 'to. Magpadala ka nga ng limang maintenance personnel dito sa unit na 'to."
"Yes, Sir Perez. Right away."
Pagkababa ng phone, binuksan ko ang TV. Agad namang nakita ko na FRIENDS ang palabas. Tch. Hindi naman ako mahilig sa mga ganitong palabas kaya pinatya ko na lang. Narinig kong may kumatok. Sumilip muna ako sa peep hole. Nakikita kong mag usap 'yung limang maintenance personnel kaya pinakinggan ko na muna.
"Pare, nakita mo na ba 'yung dalawang babaeng nakatira dito?" tanong nung isa.
Napasimangot ako.
"Oo. Si Zelle Lopez saka si Nicolle Lee, pare?"
"Yun pare. Kung pwede lang silang tignan dun sa mga camera eh!"
"Ang ganda nila no?"
"Lalo na 'yung Inglisera. Grabe—"
Binuksan ko kaagad 'yung pinto. Napatigil sila nang makita nila ako. Halatang nagulat at natakot naman sila eh. Ngumiti 'yung mokong na nagsabing Lalo na 'yung Inglisera. Ang papangit naman at ang tatanda ng mga 'to. Ano bang akala nila?
"Good morning po, Sir Perez," bati nung isa.
Tumango ako at tinignan sila ng masama. "Kayo po ba ang nagpatawag sa'min?" tanong niya.
"Oo," maikli kong sinagot.
"Pwede na po ba kaming magsimula?"
"Hindi," sagot ko.
Nagtinginan sila at tinanong ako. "Sir, bakit po?"
Knwelyuhan ko 'yung pinakapangit sa kanila at tinignan siya ng diretso sa mata. "Anong sabi mo kanina? Titignan mo sila sa mga cameras?" tanong ko.
"Uh... sir," sabi niya habang nakatingin sa'kin ng takot na takot.
"Alam mo ba na ang pinag uusapan ko ay ang girlfriend ko?!" sigaw ko.
Hindi ako pinipigilan nung apat. Siguro dahil natatakot sila sa'kin. "Sagot!" sigaw ko.
Umiling siya at nagmakaawa sa'kin. "Sir Perez. Pasensya na po. 'Wag niyo naman po kaming ireport kina Ma'am Lynn."
Napa-smirk ako. "At sinong nagsabing irereport ko kayo?!"
Umiling siya ulit at sinapak ko. Sinalo siya ng mga kasama niya at takot na tumingin sa'kin. Napatingin 'yung kabilang unit at tinignan ko lang siya ng masama. Doon dumating ang mga security staff.
"Sir Perez, ano pong nangyayari dito?" tanong nung isa sa mga security guards.
Tinuro ko 'yung limang lalaki. "Tanggalin niyo na sila dito."
"Sir?" tanong ulit nung security guard.
"Sabi ko, tanggal na sila sa mga trabaho nila. Gago 'tong mga 'to eh. O gusto mo ireport ko pa sa mga Sy para ikaw din matanggal sa trabaho?"
Tumango siya at tinginan ko 'yung limang nanginginig na mga maintenance personnel. "Buti nga 'yan lang ang inabot niyo eh."
Tumalikod ako at pumasok na sa unit ni Nicolle. Gago 'yung mga 'yon. Si Nicolle pa binastos. Anak ng.
Tumingin ako sa paligid at lalong napasimangot. Tingin ko ako na lang ang maglilinis dito. Tch! Hindi ko naman kelangan linisin 'to eh! Bakit ba?! Ayt! Lilinisin ko na nga. Pero saan ako magsisimula? Sobrang gulo?
Yung basag na vase. Yung tali. Yung mga bote ng kung anu anong softdrinks. Mga chips. Mga takeouts. Bakit hindi ko napansin 'to kagabi? Tapos nagkalat pa 'yung lamang ng luggage nung dalawang kaibigan niya. Tapos 'yung sa kwarto at kusina niya pa. Anak ng! Sa'min nga hindi ako naglilinis eh!
Ginulo ko ang buhok ko at tinanggal ang shirt at pants ko kaya nakaboxer shorts na lang ako. "Let's do this," sabi ko.
Una kong tinanggal 'yung basag na vase wala ng bubog. Pinulot ko 'yung tali at linagay sa may kusina. Pinulot ko din lahat ng mga bote at balat ng chips at tinapon. Kelangan kong mag... walis. Shit! Hindi nga ako marunong maglinis eh!
Tumawag ulit ako dun sa may receptionist at nagpadala ng walis at dustpan. This time, babae na ang nagdala. At nakatingin pa sa katawan ko. Anak ng. Tingin naman nung matandang 'yon hindi ko mapapansin?! Pft.
Nagsimula na akong magwalis at linisin ang buong living room niya. Lahat ng mga gamit niya. Mga photo albums (na titignan ko mamaya), mga quizzes niya (na pasado lahat), mga damit niya (na mabango pa din) at mga sapatos niya (na puro chucks). Ang dami kong nilinis. Pawis na nga ako eh! Pero hindi pa ako natatapos sa living room niya.
Tinignan ko ang oras. 9 pa lang pala. Pagkatapos ko sa living room, kusina naman. Inayos ko ang fridge niya. Hinugusan ko ang mga plato. 'Yung mga cabinets, drawers. Tinapon ko 'yung mga tira tira. 'Yung mesa niya.
May kulang eh.
Kinuha ko 'yung phone ko sa kwarto niyang magulo at tinawagan 'yung maid sa bahay namin. "Sir Blake,"bati niya.
"Mag-grocery ka tapos ipadala mo dito sa unit ni Nicolle. Alam na ni Mang Tony kung saan 'yon."
"Sino po sa dalawang Mang Tony, sir?"
"'Yung driver. Tapos ipadala mo dito agad."
"Ano pong bibilhin ko?"
"Yung mga—" nag-isip ako saglit. Ano kaya? Maliban sa pizza ano pa gusto niya?
"Ah! Basta, lahat ng pinamimili mo pagka andyan sina Mama. Dalian mo. Kelangan ko bago mag twelve."
"Sir? Eh, umaabot po ng ten thousand mga pinamimili pagka andyan po mga magulang niyo."
"Basta sabihin mo na lang na ako nagpapabili. Ako na magbabayad!"
"Ah, ok po, sir," nanginginig niyang sagot.
Pinatay ko na 'yung phone at bumalik na sa paglilinis.
11 na ako nagsimulang maglinis sa kwarto niya. Inayos ko lahat. Kama, floor, pati closet. Pero hindi na 'yung drawer kung saan tingin ko nilalagay niya 'yung mga underwear niya. Ok, sumilip ako. Pero saglit lang. Meron nga siyang stripes na bra eh.
Shit.
Malapit na akong matapos. Last na lang 'to. Pinulot ko 'yung isang candy wrapper sa may baba ng personal computer niya at tinapon sa trash can. Pagkatapos— saglit nga lang. Personal computer? Natawa na lang ako nang maalala ko 'yung araw na 'yon. Nung unang beses akong pumasok dito. Binuksan ko 'yung personal computer niya.
Bakit hindi na lang kaya siya maglaptop?
Ayt! Oo nga pala! Kasama pala 'to sa unit. Tch.
Pumunta agad ako dun sa folder na ini-hide ko. 'Yung folder na parang diary niya, kung saan ko nabasa na gusto niya si Andrew. Tch.
In-enter ko 'yung nakakatawag password at pumunta ako dun sa mga nilampasan kong document files.
File name : First day.
I have finally arrived here in the Philippines. It's hot. But it's not the hotness that I'm complaining about. Truth be told, I feel so cold. I feel so alone. How the hell could I survive in here? Givent the fact that I am not likeable, I don't think I could easily make friends. I mean, it's true that I am so irritable and irrational and queer and odd and... well, I don't think not giving a shit about the world would help me gain company. Unless, well unless some miracle happens. And miracle happens sometimes... right?
Shit, I'm downright fucked up.
File name : Second day.
Have you ever had that day when nothing seemed to go right? When your day is just so plain bummer? Well, today. That's today. Vincent told me I wouldn't get my own car because, you know, they told me, that would lessen the probability of me running away from the world. Anyway, I had to buy a notebook and a pen for school so I went to the nearest bookstore.
That's when shit started to happen.
I was ran after by a dog. I ran, of course, and with all my windfall, I tripped. For a second, I thought I would die right at the moment. But, thank heavens, the owner of the dog got there before it even kills me. Saved.
But it doesn't end there. There was a spider crawling on my bed and I almost burned the house down. Thank heavens, once again, a maintenance personnel came to my rescue. Saved.
Guess what happened next? Oh you wouldn't believe that I wet my phone, accidentally, so I had to buy another one. And that's a big minus to my allowance!
That all happened in one day. Tune in for the next episode of The Epic Catastrophe of Little Miss Lee.
Bago ko pa man mabuksan ang pangatlong file, biglang may kumatok. Agad kong pinatay 'yung computer. Eh baka kasi si Nicolle na 'yun eh. Teka nga! Hindi naman si Nicolle 'yan. Kung siya 'yan, bakit naman siya kakatok?
Binuksan ko 'yung pinto at nakita 'yung mga security staff at kasama si Mang Tony, yung driver namin. May dala silang mga carts na puno ng grocery bags. Tumango ako at sinabihan na idiretso na lang nila sa kusina.
Pagkaalis nila, pumunta ako saglit dun sa unit ni Andrew na fingerprint accessible lang. Ang okay nga lang, pwede 'yung fingerprint namin ni Luke, Krungy at ako kaya nakapasok ako agad. Pumunta ako dun sa kwarto ko don (yep, may kwarto akong sarili sa unit ni Andrew) at kumuha ng mga damit ko.
Bumalik ako sa unit ni Nicolle at doon na naligo. Kumain ako ng lunch dun sa mga pinamiling grocery at dinetect ko at dinetect ko kung asan si Nicolle.
Tch. Nasa arcade lang pala.
***
Nakatayo ako sa may tapat ng McDo, sa lugar na maayos ko silang makikita. Madaming mga nakakakilala sakin dito at siguro nagtataka sila kung bakit nakadisguise ako. Nakajacket. Naksumbrero. Nakashades. At parang stalker. Di ko mapigilan eh. Kelangan kong gawin to para hindi siya mapahamak. Tulad na lang nung kanina.
Madaming back up yung president ng fans club ko eh. Pupunta sana sila pero to the rescue ako. Habang nag uusap sila ni Amgirl, pinuntahan ko yung mga back up niya na sobrang sama kung makatingin kay Nicolle. Syempre, pagkapunta ko sa harapan nila, gulat silang lahat at napanganga.
Kinikilig din. Kala mo naman interesado ako sa kanila eh. Tch.
"Hi Prince Blake," sabi nila ng sabay sabay. Ang sakit sa tenga ng mga boses nila. Sabay sabay tapos ang tinis pa. Kahit na napakaingay dito sa arcade, dinig na dinig yung maaarte nilang boses eh.
Nagsmirk ako sa kanila at imbes na matakot, kinilig pa tong mga lecheng babae na to. Anak ng. Paano kaya patitigilin tong mga to? Nakakasawa na din. Siguro ganito ang buhay ng mga artista.
Sabagay, parang artista naman talaga dating ko eh.
"Ayun ba yung president niyo?" tanong ko sa kanila habang tinuturo yung babaeng naglalakad palapit ng palapit kay Amgirl. Lalong uminit ang ulo ko. Ang init na nga netong jacket na suot ko eh.
"Sabihin niyo sa kanya, pagka kinausap niya pa si Amgirl para awayin, ayusin niyo na ang mga papers niyo para makapagtransfer sa ibang school."
Halatang natatakot sila pero halata din na kininikilig sila. Anak ng. Nakakainsulto tong mga to ah. Napansin ko din na may kumukuha ng picture sakin pero hindi ko na masyadong inintindi. Nasanay na din ako eh. Lumapit ako sa kanila.
"Pero, Prince Blake, pinahiya ka niya kahapon. Nakaluhod ka na nga sa tapat niya eh. Sa tapat ng madaming tao tapos ganun pa gagawin niya sayo? Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang si Princess Tracy?" sabi nung babae sa dulo.
Nag iba yung facial expression ko at nagalit. Leche tong mga to ah. Kinuha ko yung hawak na bag nung babae saka tinapon sa tapat niya. Nagulat lang siya pati yung mga kasama niya pero hindi siya sumigaw.
Napaatras silang apat at ramdam na ramdam ko yung kaba nila. Dapat naman silang kabahan. Kung kilala nila ako dapat alam nila na ayokong sinasabihan nila ako kung anong dapat gawin. Gago din tong mga to eh. Hindi naman talaga nila ako kilala eh. Saka ano bang pakialam nila sa personal na buhay ko?
Inapakan ko yung bag nung babae at tinignan siya mula paa hanggang ulo. Kinakagat niya lang yung labi niya. Namumutla na siya. "Ganyan ang mangyayari sa inyo pagka hindi niyo tiniglan si Nicolle—"
Bago pa man matuloay ang pagsasalita ko, bigla siyang lumuhod sa tapat ko. Ayt. Sanay na din ako sa mga taong lumuluhod sa tapat ko eh. Nakakailang pero wala eh. Hindi ko naman sila pinlit na gawin yon. Tinignan ko lang siya.
"Sino ka ba para sabihin yon?!" galit kong bulyaw.
Umiyak siya bigla at sorry ng sorry sakin. Paulit ulit na lang tong mga to eh. Aawayin si Nicolle, sasabihan ng masama, sisiraan tapos sakin magpapasorry. Iba din takbo ng utak nila eh. Napansin ko yung lecheng dickhead na lumabas sa arcade kaya iniwan ko na lang tong mga babaeng to. Wala din namang mangyayari kung kakausapin ko pa tong mga to. Nasabi ko na din naman yung gusto kong sabihin eh.
Lumabas ako at sinundan sila. Eto ako ngayon, sa may tapat ng McDonald's. Hinihintay ko silang matapos. Nakatingin lang ako kay Nicolle. Mga ilang minutes na din ang lumipas at napansin ko na tumayo si Billy at papunta sa direction ko. Oh shit. Alam kaya nila na andito ako?!
Naglakad ako ng mabilis para magtago sa pinakamalapit na shop na makita ko kung saan pwede akong magtago. Kunwari tumitingin tingin ako at nagtatago tago sa mga products na binebenta dito para hindi ako makita ng mga tao. Biglang may lumapit sa akin na saleslady.
"Sir Blake, bumibili po ba kayo ng underwear para sa girlfriend niyo?" sabi niya ng nakangiti.
Napatingin ako sa paligid at nakita ko na nasa... Victoria's secret ako. Kaya pala puro underwears at mga pambabaeng gamit ang nakikita ko dito. Yuck. Nakakadiri. Napatingin ako sa kamay ko, may hawak ako na panty. Binato ko agad sa saleslady at umalis na. Sana pala hindi na ako nagtago dun.
Pagkalabas ko, nakita ko si dickhead na nakasandal at nakasmirk. Tch.
"Smooth," sabi niya habang nakasmirk pa din.
"Whatya want from me dickhead?"
Naramdaman ko ang panggigigil niya. Ayaw na ayaw niya siguro yung dickhead. Eh dapat naman kasi tanggapin niya yung totoo eh.
"Nicolle knows you're stalking her. She's pretty pissed off," sabi niya habang nagsshrug. Anak ng. Siguro nga tama yung sinabi ng receptionist na dapat bigyan ko siya ng konting space at panahon para sa mga kaibigan niya. Yep, tinanong ko 'yung receptionist kanina. Eh sa hindi sumasagot si Krungy sa tawag ko eh!
"We'll sort it out." Sabi ko na lang.
"There's something you should know about her. Just promise me you wont leave her after you knew about this."
Bigla akong kinabahan sa sinabi niya. Ano to?
BILLY'S POV
I didnt know where to start and I had no idea how this would end. Would I really say this to the person that mattered to Nicolle a lot? I mean, it's really limpid that Nic values this shitty excuse of a human being, but after I tell him this, what? If he's an asshole, for sure he would leave her alone.
And, I believe, he's an asshole.
Substantially, I wasnt in the position to tell bodyguard about this and he wasnt in the position to know. Or maybe he was. I dont know, really. I sighed as I gripped his shoulder. Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't. I know, Vincent warned me not to tell anyone about this. He warned Mace, also. But if this guy couldn't love Nic after he knew about this, I'm gonna go save her.
Fuck me, right?
"Lets get some coffee first," I told him.
Besides, no one would go in front of a Victoria's Secret shop to talk about some private matters , right? He shrugged my hand off and started walking; probably to the nearest coffee shop. We entered the shop and ordered our coffee. Of course, with all my charms, girls were swooning. But I did not give them the slightest ray of my heed. They didnt matter, anyway.
"Perez," I called. "Let me ask you something." I took a sip of my iced coffee and focused my eyes on his features. He was looking at me with the same intense feeling I have.
We both hate each other.
Thats the clearest thing since glasses. And we have been good enough to not have each other assassinated.
He nodded at me signalling me to proceed with my question.
"Do you really love her?" That was the most serious question I have ever asked since I came here. This is somber. Humorless. I don't want anything but staid answer to that. It's yes or no. The question's about Nic. So, I wouldn't hold myself back if this guy answered the question to my dislike. I won't. Especially it's about Nicolle.
Upon hearing my words, Perez choked on his drink. I was still wearing the same authoritarian countenance. I waited a few more seconds before he could recover from his... uncertainty.
"I... Nicolle. She's... I..." he stuttered and I knew what this meant, he doesn't. My hands which were rested on my lap gripped my jeans as they clenched into fists.
"Then leave her alone if you don't!" I shouted. My voice and eyes were steely and inexorable. My body stiffened. I was shaking inside in anger. He doesn't. He's not sure. He's using her as a pathetic cover up for his broken heart.
My fingers digged deeper into my palm and I tried hard not to attack him anytime now. I was trying so damn hard. One more wrong thing and this guy would be dead.
"Look, I'm trying to figure it out" he said, his voice skeptical.
I bit my lip as hard as I can. I could almost taste the blood in my mouth. My fingers were buried in my palm that I wouldnt be surprised if my hands were red from all the blood. The words he said kept on replaying in my mind. He was trying to figure it out. Well then , fuck him.
Does he have a single fucking clue how much Nicolle loved him? Vincent told me everything. Nicolle was being all stupid and shitty in putting up with this asshole! And this guy right here wasn't even sure about her. I took a deep breath willing myself to calm down. I can't just hurt this jerk. I can't disappoint her again. Not anymore.
When I was about to warn him, he spoke. He was wearing a blank expression. “We've known each other for only two months, but everytime I'm with her, I... I don't know. I've never been so happy and comfortable with anyone. It‘s like she should always be with me and I should always be with her. It's like we're made to be together. It was not like with my ex. Maybe deep down me, I am in love with her. But i just don't realize it. Or I refuse to because I think I still love my Tracy but the truth is, maybe I'm already over her. And maybe i am really in love with Nicolle.“
He sighed.
“Whenever she laughs, whenever she cries, whenever she rolls her eyes, whenever she talks, whenever she walks, whenever she sings—“ he smiled. “...whenever she hates me, whenever she gets mad at me, whenever she frowns, when she walks away—“ he paused and looked at me. “It‘s all perfect. She‘s just perfect. I've never seen anyone as great as her, not even the one I thought I love. Not even Tracy.“
I was stopped for a moment. We both stopped for a moment. What Perez had said was true. Nicolle was perfect. That was how I felt about her. And up until now, that's how I feel for her.
I'm still deeply in love with her.
I guess no one can get over a perfect girl like her easily. She's just different. And I love her. But I have to learn to let go faster.
"Did i sound like a faggot?" he asked out of the blue.
I brought my eyes to him. "Guess love and truth sounds like shitty gay," I answered as I finished my iced coffee.
"Why did you cheat on her?" he asked, his voice almost intimidating. I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to remember. Here it goes then. I had to tell him everything. He had to know the damn truth.
"I didnt," I started off with a quiet voice. I sighed, trying to get myself together.
There's no easy way in saying this but there's no freaking way I'm gonna leave this unsaid.
This is how I could determine if this asshole's not an asshole.
"I... was her fiancée. We met when we were freshmen. That was three years ago. Our parents were business partners. Then, when they learned about our relationship, they decided to engage us and get us married right after college. It scared her away then she broke up with me. We talked about it a lot of times but I just couldn't change her mind."
The hurt came back rushing to me, and I tried to get a grip. Get a grip from what? I don't know? From my stupid feelings? Fuck.
"Then, she ran away. I knew she was going to the racetracks. That's what she always does when she's depressed. She drives and she feels like she's free again. I watched her drive at full speed. I tried convincing her to slow it down and stop but she wouldn't listen. Then thats it. She..." I paused trying to find the right word.
"She just kind of got crazy then she lost control then...she...after that... she spent the next months in the hospital. She was comatozed. The doctor said she will not be normal again. She will be having mental lapses and mental gaps. And she will just keep on forgetting things. Three months in the hospital. All of us were going crazy. All of us were worried sick about her."
I shook my head.
"And by the time she recovered, she just kind of forgot about the accident. She can't remember a thing. So, we decided to just keep everything a secret, including her disease. Then there was this one crazy night when I threw a party for her. It was supppsed to be a surprise party. Then some girl just pulled me to her and kissed me. I tried pulling away but she wouldn't let me go. Everyone took a picture of it. I heard someone called my name. I pushed the bitch away and there was Nicolle, crying."
Perez was shocked as hell. I looked down and bit my lip.
"I regretted that night. I blamed myself. Not because of that night. But because I broke her. Macey just talked to Nicolle about forgiving me. She still keeps on forgetting things but that night... it just kind of got stuck in her mind. I accepted that she just wants me as a friend. At least I'm stil in her life right?"
I stopped.
It was enough said. I had said everything I had to. There's just one last thing left.
"I still love her. Please don't hurt her." I begged.
Perez didnt say anything. He was still in shock, yeah. He opened his mouth then closed it. He did that for a couple more times. Then he stopped and sighed. There was silence for a few minutes, until he finally spoke.
"Why didn't you tell her about her condition?" he asked.
I cleared my throat. "Once she learned about this, she will get depressed then she'll go back to the racetracks."
"Th...then, why is she here?" came his second question.
I brushed my hair with my fingers and leaned back to my seat. "It was her family's decision. They want to keep her as far away from the racetracks..." I paused.
"From the truth." he countered then stood up. "I love Nicolle." he said, seriously.
I looked up to him.
"I will take care of her," he continued and I nodded.
We spent the next minutes talking about Nicolle, abiut how she's doing here, about her condition about her parents still looking for ways to treat her. Everything about her. Perez's words ended our conversation.
"Thank you." He handed his hand out to me and smiled gratefully. I shook it and smiled back. I went back to McDonalds, with a feeling of guilt and relief swirling inside of me.
Fuck me,seriously.
I couldn't think of anything else. I blew it.