Amy, Madison and Lauren were in the girl's restroom.
Madison's excitment disappeared when she saw how nervous Amy looked.
"Amy? What's going on?"
Amy looked down. "I can't believe this." She said. "After all those years being in high school, after everything i've been through... I'm here in the restroom... Again."
Lauren looked confused. "Amy, your alright, right?" She asked worried.
Madison looked from Lauren to Amy.
"Amy, your not gonna tell us that you and Ricky didn't get married, right?" Amy bit her lip, she felt insecure and she lost all of her confidence. She nodded.
"Wait, what?" Madison shouted confused.
"But how is that possible, what happened? I don't understand." She said.
Amy sighed, she knew she had to explain. "Look, Lauren, Madison. After graduation, i went home with Ricky and i had a long talk with him. I told him i couldn't be married and go to New York. I guess i always knew it, but i just didn't want to face reality. Life isn't a fairytale... And i chose college over my son and fiancé."
Amy wiped a tear away.
"It's okay." Lauren said. "You don't have to feel like this. You will get through this. You just need to focus on college and your son."
"No, it's not okay. Lauren."
Madison still looked confused. "But, if you and Ricky broke up why are you here with him, and why does this bother you now, after all those months?"
"Because." Amy sighed. "When i went to New York. I came back, a couple of weeks later to visit John. And something happened. Something that changed everything. Something i don't want to say out loud."
Amy started crying. She felt hopeless. She didn't want to say it, because if she did. It would be real.
"You can tell us!" Madison said. "We are still your best friends. You can tell us anything, no matter how shameful it is!"
"Madison!" Lauren shouted, while she gave Madison a warning and dirty look.
"Amy, just tell us. You might feel better. And don't cry."
Amy tried to stop crying but she couldn't. She can't believe she actually lost it and started crying in here, at her high school reunion. In the girl's restroom, with her two bestfriends. She felt like that 15-year-old girl again. Feeling lost, insecure and all alone.
Amy closed her eyes for a second, and opened them. Her cheeks were soaked with tears. "Well." Amy said. "I left a few things out of the story i just told you guys." She wiped away her tears while another pair of tears showed up.
"We're in the girl's restroom of our old high school. Don't we have memories in here? Doesn't anything what i was about to tell you guys in the past happened here?" She sighed.
Madison finally got the hint. So did Lauren. "O no!" They said. "Your not..."
Amy nodded, trying to stay strong and trying to hold her tears but they kept coming.
"I'm... Pregnant." She said.
After she said it, the reality collapsed on her. Being in her old high school, in the restroom, with Madison and Lauren brought too many memories of her first pregnancy, when she was pregnant with John.
Lauren and Madison hugged Amy, very tightly.
"So?" Madison said, wondering something. "You were already pregnant when you left Ricky for New York?" She asked, hoping the answer would be yes.
Amy shook her head. Still crying.
"No, i slept with Ricky, the first time i flew back from New York, after we broke up." Lauren looked a little bit disappointed. She thought Amy wouldn't make the same mistake again.
"But the worst part of all of this is that Ricky slept with me, while he was and is in a relationship with Clementine." She said, hurt.
"What?" Lauren said. "He's with her?" Madison looked shocked. "So he cheated on her with his ex?"
"That's not the point." Amy said. "The point is that history is repeating itself and i don't want it to repeat itself."
Madison squeezed Amy's shoulder. "It will be okay, Amy! No matter what happens between you and Ricky, you'll be okay!" Madison hugged Amy again.
Amy broke down. She was hysterically crying in Lauren and Madison's arms. And then Ricky came in.
Madison and Lauren looked up and they saw Ricky standing at the door. Madison and Lauren let go of Amy, they didn't really know what to do so they decided to leave. "Tell him." Was the last thing Lauren said. Madison squeezed Amy's shoulder and then they both left the restroom.
•
Ricky walked in while Amy turned around, trying to avoid Ricky. She was wiping her tears away.
"What's going on?" Ricky asked, worried. "What happened?"
Amy turned around, facing Ricky. Eye to eye.
Her face was soaked with tears. Her eyes were puffy and red because she was crying.
"I need to talk to you." She said, sobbing.
"Tell me, tell me now. Because i know from the minute we got in the car i could tell that there's something going on. So tell me!" He demanded.
"I don't know how to tell you this..." She said, insecure. "But... I..." Amy hesitated. It felt like her brain got blocked, the words didn't came out of her mouth. She never felt this scared before. Not even when she told her mother she was pregnant, 3-and-a-half years ago, when she was fiftheen-years-old.
"Just tell me, Amy." Ricky said. Trying to comfort her, so she would tell him.
"Ricky, i'm ... I'm pregnant. She said. She looked down, she was afraid and she knew she should have just waited to tell him. She knew she should have told him somewhere else. And most importantly sooner. She looked back at Ricky. she didn't want to make eye contact but she had to, she wanted to see Ricky's expression on his face.
But at that moment she just wished she would disappear or reverse time.
Ricky stood there, astonished. It felt like he didn't hear her. Or he refused to believe her.
"You're what?" He asked, shocked. He couldn't even blink his eyes. He couldn't even move.
"I'm pregnant." She said. One again.
"You can't be... Your lying!" Ricky said, trying to convince himself it was all a lie.
Amy started crying again. She could feel her heart breaking. She didn't expect that answer to come. Especially since she already had a baby with Ricky.
"I'm not lying! Why would i lie about something like that?"
Ricky brushed his hand through his hair. He looked furious, it looked like he was about to punch something.
"You just want me to break up with Clementine, you don't want me to be happy with someone other than you! If your even pregnant. And if you are who says it's mine? Maybe you slept with someone in New York, and you want to blame this on me, because this could be a lot easier for you! So i can take care of this baby when its born and you can enjoy your college life in New York? Is this some kind of plan?!" He shouted, angrily.
Amy tried to stay as strong as possible but the tears kept coming. "What?" She asked, with a lot of hurt in her voice. "Why would i tell you i'm pregnant if this isn't your child? I can't believe you think that low of me?! ... You act like this is all my fault?"
"Well, maybe it is!" Ricky said.
Ricky looked down, trying to stay calm. He looked back at Amy. He knew he hurted her. And he also knew Amy wasn't the type of girl who would sleep around. And he knew that she was telling him the truth. But he didn't want to go through this again, not with Amy. He also felt lied to. That Amy knew this the whole time and she didn't tell him.
Ricky wiped away a tear that was slowly coming out of his right eye. He was just about to say something when he changed his mind and walked away, he walked out of the restroom and out of the school.
----
Outside, he looked at the school, the high school with all of the bad and good memories. Being a teen dad, fighting for his rights as a father, dealing with his personal problems, falling in love with Amy, proposing to Amy, fighting for her, graduating high school, ... Every memory collapsed on him. His heart was pounding two-hundred times faster than normally. He was sweating and getting dizzy. When he heard someone calling his name.
"Ricky."
He looked behind him to see the person that was calling his name. It was Grace.
"Are you okay, Ricky?" Grace looked like she felt sorry for him. "I saw you rushing out of the girls restroom, and i found Amy crying in there. She told me everything! She's in my car now, i'm taking her to her mom's house."
"In... In... Palm Springs?" He asked stuttering and breathless.
"No, here. At her parents old house."
Ricky looked down. "What did you want to tell me, besides giving me that information, Grace?"
"I know it must be hard for you, hearing this. But it all worked out perfectly fine the first time. You both just need to figure things out." Grace said, with crossed arms.
"I guess we will." He said, not convincing.
"And." Grace continued. "it wasn't so nice of you to tell Amy those horrible things. You know this is your child she's carrying! You know that!" Grace said. Using a harsh voice.
"I don't need your 'Docterly' talk, Grace!" Ricky said.
"I'm not giving you a 'Docterly' talk. I'm not a doctor. I'm studying for it but i'm not one yet." She said, irritated.
"Yeah, whatever." Ricky looked away.
"Just figure things out Ricky. Think about this, and talk to your current girlfriend about this. And no lies! And also, the most important thing..." She paused. "Don't be a jerk! Be there for the baby and Amy!"
Grace made a friendly gesture, squeezed Ricky's shoulder and walked to the parking lot.
Ricky got in his car and drove away. He wished he could erase his memories. Or change the past.
~•••~
"I can feel you calling me.
I can see the cracks between these walls. But this pain,
I choke on the words as they rise in me. To survive, I lock down.
I can feel you calling me.
I can taste the poison in your heart.
But these dreams.
Blurring the line between war and peace.
To survive, I lock down."
-Lockdown by Amy Lee