"Oliver?" She called through the coms.
"I'm here," he answered.
"Just be careful," she sighed. The thought of him being hurt made her chest tighten.
"I promise."
She knew what was about to happen. It was the very thing she hated. Even though she wanted to scream and beg him not to she understood why he did it.
"I'm going silent."
She took a deep breath. "Roger that," she tried for a upbeat tone but it just came out a slightly strangled.
She sat in her chair for what felt like hours but a look at her watch only confirmed that it hadn't been nearly that long. She felt better that John and Sara were with Oliver but it didn't take her worry away. There were so many things that could go wrong. So many unknown variables. They could all be dead and she wouldn't even know it.
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "No, they're fine." She laid a hand on her belly. "Daddy's fine, and so is Uncle John. As for Sara, well you don't have to worry about her, she can take care of herself. She's strong. Maybe when your older she can teach you a few moves." She smiled at the thought. "I know I should be opposed to you learning how to fight but it kinda runs in the family and you really should know how to protect yourself. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to go the tech route though. Sit behind a computer where nothing could hurt you, well except hackers, but I'm sure you'll be smart enough to take care of them easily." She laughed a little.
"Unless you get your father's IQ and one track mind, then you'd probably better stay away from computers and stick to fighting. Not serious fighting, more like I don't know, karate? Yeah you can do that." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm even babbling to a baby! You don't mind do you?" She felt a kick and a smile stretched across her face. "I didn't think so. Your Dad likes it when I talk too even though I have no idea why."
She spun in her chair and stared at a place on the low ceiling. She didn't like it here as much as the old foundry but that was probably because they didn't have everything they needed. Most of her computers and her processors were at Verdant, as well as a lot of their medical equipment, though they had the basics and tools.
It had been long enough hadn't it? What was keeping them? She checked her watch again and nearly fell from her chair when her comm turned on. "Felicity?"
"Holy crap! How is it you startle me even when I've been expecting you? And now I'm babbling, shut up Felicity. What happened?"
"A lot." He was a man of few words which at times drove her crazy.
"Give me the cliff notes version."
"Isabel's in with Slade and they were using Roy as their own personal blood bank."
"Dear God," she whispered in shock. "Do you have him?" Stupid question but she just needed it to be reassured.
"Yes, on our way back now." He replied.
She jumped from her chair and started to ready the room.
Thirty minutes later the door clanged open and three sets of feet pounded down the stairs. Diggle and Oliver were carrying Roy and Sara was trailing behind bo staff still in hand. She had cleared a table for them to lay Roy on and she grabbed a towels too put behind his head.
"Is he okay?"
"He's lost a lot of blood. I don't know what the biotransfuser did to him," answered Sara as she grabbed a IV and started to attach it to his arm. "His pulse is week and he's barely breathing, We have to get him to a Doctor."
"We can't take him to a hospital Sara, they run rest. That would be like opening a can of worms." she told her.
"All we can do it wait and hope he pulls through," said Diggle leaning over the makeshift med-bay.
"What about Slade?"
"I let him go. I had to get Roy out of there," his eyes pleaded for her to understand and she nodded. "What else happened?" Diggle stepped back from the table and paced across the room. She stared after him, worry automatically crinkling her forehead.
"Like I told you. Isabel's been in with Slade the whole time." Oliver said walking over to lower himself into a chair.
"Dollars to donuts she tried to set you up to lose the company," she stated as she walked over to put his hand on his shoulder.
He leaned over and put his head in his hands. "That was the whole purpose of taking Thea. Kill two birds with one stone, take over the company and destroy my relationship with my sister."
"But neither worked," she said softly. "That must have really ticked him off."
"Our family is in even more danger now." He looked up at the people in the room. "Slade is patient but when we keep foiling his plans that's going to run out." He sucked in a breath and let it out.
"What's wrong with him?" She asked tilting her head in Diggle's direction.
"He had to shoot Isabel." She gasped.
"Is she-" she hedged.
"Yes." he confirmed.
"Well...I wish I felt bad, but I really don't. There's a special place reserved in Hell for that woman." Did she really just say that? Out loud? She grimaced. She glanced at Diggle who was now leaning against a desk and decided not to continue on the same subject.
"Let me guess, it gets worse?" She turned and asked the room at large.
Sara gave her a wary glance. "Slade is building an army. He already had more than twenty guys. We have no way to stop him."
"Yes we do," Oliver said standing and pulling something from his pocket. He handed the green filled vile to her.
Her head snapped up to look at him. "Is this what I think it is?"
"Miracuru."
"That means...we could make a cure. I don't know if it's possible but it's worth a shot." Sara's eyes turned to Oliver and a look passed between them. "What did I miss?"
"It's possible." She decided not to ask. Not right now anyways.
"Diggle? Can you get this to Star Labs?"
"Yeah," He said as he gingerly took the vile from her hand.
"I'll call Caitlin and let her know you're coming." She picked up her phone and dialed her number. She answered on the third ring. "Cait? I need you to do something for me."
She glanced at her husband who was seated with his head hung low. "And this time it'll be our secret."
>----->
Sara said she would stay with Roy and sent them home. Oliver's steps were slow and heavy as they approached the mansion. He hadn't said anything the whole ride home and she let the silence stretch. She knew he needed time to process. But she wouldn't let him wallow long.
They entered their room and he went off to take a shower. She slid on one of his t-shirts and removed her makeup. By the time he was out she was already settled beneath the comforter reading a book that had been on his nightstand. "I hope you don't mind," she said as she brought the book up for him to see. The Odyssey.
He shook his head. "I don't..." He paused for a moment before he slid in next to her. "That book saved my life once."
She looked at him then the book in confusion. "What? Did it stop a bullet or something?" She examined the novel in search of a bullet hole. "You could've brought it to me too." He smiled softly but she could see the guilt behind his eyes. She set the book down and slid closer to him,fitting her head under his chin and fisting her hands in his shirt. "Oliver?"
"Hmmm?"
"You know I know you better than anyone else right?"
He sighed. "I'm aware."
"Then that must mean you know what I am fixing to say."
"I have an idea," he said while pulling her closer.
"Oliver. None of this is your fault. What ever happened on that Island is not your fault. Please stop thinking it is. Slade has made his own choices and if there one thing you've learned the past year is that people need to be free to make their own choices. It's up to them if they good or evil with that choice. It's not on you."
"You don't know what I did Felicity."
"Then tell me Oliver," she whispered.
"What's happening now is my fault."
"Oliver-" she interrupted.
"No, just listen." She sighed and nodded against his chest. She wanted to look him in the face but she sensed that it would be easier for him not to be scrutinized while he was trying to be honest with her.
"Slade loved Shado, when she died he was consumed with rage and anger even more so when he found out I was the cause of her death." He stopped for a moment and she moved her hand under his shirt, rubbing her thumb soothingly across his ribs and the raised skin of one of his scars. He continued a moment later.
"We had a plan, the cure Ivo had created and a contingency plan just in case it went south. Needless it didn't go as planned. That's when I got the dragon tattoo. To remind me of what I had done to Shado. The freighter blew up not long after, a torpedo Anatoly had sent. That's when I lost Sara for the second time..I fought Slade and when I had put him down I had a choice to make, cure him or kill him." He sucked in a breath. His voice wavering a little as he finished. "I thought Sara was dead...for good and I was so angry.. so angry that I killed him Felicity. That's why everything is happening is mu fault. If I hadn't been a killer then we wouldn't be here now."
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from running down her cheeks but was unsuccessful. She held onto him tightly and tried to imagine how he was even with her now. How had he been through so much yet come out on the other side wanting to help people?
"Felicity? Look at me please." He begged her, his voice raw.
She pulled back and looked at him in the dimly lit room. His eyes were glassy, and there was a exhaustion lurking in the blue depths that made her heart break further.
"I am so sorry." He said and he finally broke, tears pouring down his cheeks.
She climbed up and pulled his head to her chest. He wrapped his arms around her and clung to her. "Shhh, shh," she soothed, resting her chin on the top of his head.
"It's all my fault," he cried. She closed her eyes and cried with him. She was at a loss for words which was rare for her. "I'm a killer."
"Oliver Queen! You listen and you listen good. You are not that man anymore. You did what you needed to do to survive. You were strong enough to survive. If someone else went through what you've been through they wouldn't have come out alive let alone wanting to help people. You are a hero. To this city. To me. You made a bad decision. We all have, God knows I have." He lift his face to look into her eyes, questioned filling his eyes.
"Oliver, you've always though that you were the one to bring darkness into my life but the truth is I was touched by it long before you ever came along. I've done bad things, I've cause more than one death." He placed his palm on her face and she leaned into it. "Would say I was a killer?"
"Never," he said vehemently.
"It doesn't stop me from blaming myself." She paused for second, trying to pull her emotions together. "I lost someone I loved and it was all because he took the fall for something I did. And he died, because of me. It's a heavy burden to bear. Oliver you've been through so much more than I have and it floors me that you're even here with me now. That you have enough light to be a human being, a husband and soon a father. So don't you dare call yourself a killer because that is not who you are anymore."
"Then who am I?" He asked, his eyes open to her.
She tilted her head and gave him a watery smile. "You're Oliver Queen, the man I love. Your a son, a brother, a friend."
"What about the Arrow?"
"The Arrow is just a mask, another piece of you, not solely who you are. You're more than just that hood Oliver. I know it's hard to believe but it's true. If it takes all of my life I'm going to make sure you believe that."
"When it's just me and you I can believe it Felicity. It's when I put that mask on, I feel like I lose myself. That all I am is a vigilante. Someone to be hunted if the circumstances changed."
"You have to find out why your doing all of this. Are you doing it to right your fathers wrongs, to protect the city or is it because it's all you know how to do? " He just looked at her. "Oliver one day that hood is going to be gone and you're going to be forced to look at the man underneath it. Are you going to like that man... or hate him?"
He sighed heavily and sagged against her. "That was kinda deep wasn't it?" She whispered into his ear.
He chuckled. "You never did ask easy questions."
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," she said with a smile.
He sobered and pulled them back down into the bed. "Thank you Felicity," he said his voice still a little rough.
"For what?" she asked sincerely.
"For everything... for loving me."
"There is one thing you never have to thank me for Oliver and that's loving you. I couldn't stop if I wanted too."
She ran her fingers through his hair and as soon he drifted to sleep she whispered. "I love you Oliver. Every part of you."
He snuggled closer, his fingers brushing over her belly and she couldn't help but think that even in his sleep he knew just what she needed...and how she felt.