Day 32
Carl woke with a jolt, his body covered in a cold sweat. He looked out the window and the feeling of déjà vu came down on him. The sky looked exactly like it did the morning he woke without her beside him. The sun peeked over the trees, illuminating the sky in a dull orange. That was the longest he had slept in a whole month. Carl was thankful that the thought of looking for her calmed him enough that he could sleep for almost a full night.
He grabbed his packed bag and made his way to the kitchen. Kirsty had told him that she would have supplies for him before he left. Most of the group were awake, preparing for another raid. Rick offered him a curt nod when he entered the room. Kirsty was seated on one of the dining chairs in the kitchen. She smiled weakly when she saw him and he made his way to where she was sitting. Daryl gave him a weary look and Carl assumed that Kirsty had told him he was leaving today.
"I've packed ammo, food, and some other things for you," Kirsty's voice was low so Rick couldn't overhear. "You are going to have to talk to your father."
Carl nodded and turned around. Rick was talking to Glenn and Maggie who were seated on a leather couch in the living room that connected to the kitchen. Maggie had helped Carl a lot this past month and he was thankful of that, but he knew that she wouldn't agree with him leaving. Maggie never really liked Lauren, she thought she was too head-strong and she loved to get herself into trouble for attention, but that was never Lauren's goal.
Michonne narrowed her eyes at Carl when she caught sight of the bags of supplies. She stopped sharpening her katana for just a second, catching Carl's attention. He sent her a pleading look and she offered him a small smile. Michonne always liked Lauren, she was reminded of herself. She admired Lauren's bravery and ablility to never back down.
"I'm leaving." Carl announced before he considered the idea of just running. He braced himself for a fight, a fight he would not back down in. He was doing this for not only Lauren, but himself. Rick turned to look at his son, hoping that he had missheard him.
"You what?" Rick asked, cocking his head to the side. Carl stood his ground, standing tall against his father.
"I'm leaving." Carl repeated. Maggie stared at him in disbelief, even a bit of disappointment evident on her face. Michonne was indifferent, not sure what to think, but she would always support Carl's wishes. Glenn felt the need to support Maggie, but unlike his better half, he liked Lauren a lot. She brought Judith back to them.
"No you're not." Rick quickly fired back. He wasn't about to let his son walk into the face of death for a girl that deserted him. Daryl and Kirsty both supported Carl. Lauren was Daryl's only family with no sign of Merle and it was his job to protect her, but he failed.
"I am. I'm leaving today and I don't care what you say about it." Carl retorted, irritation laced in his voice. "I waited a month, like you said, and I can't do it. I need to go."
"She left you, Carl. She left." Rick tried to talk some sense into his son, but he knew it was a loosing fight. "You don't know where she is! She could be anywhere by now! The chances of finding that, that- bitch is low."
Carl felt as if something snapped inside of him, he tore his gaze from his father in an attempt to quell the firey anger inside of him.
"She is not a bitch.. Don't you dare call her that." Carl's voice came out low and threatening. "I know, dad. I know that finding her is near impossible. But I need to try, I can't live with myself if I don't."
"What about Judith?" Rick played his final card, knowing that he had hit his son's weak spot. "Are you just going to forget her for someone that left you like you were nothing?"
"I tried, dad." Carl sighed, feeling the farmiliar sadness wash over him. "I tried to live without her, but I can't. You would have done it for mom."
Rick sighed and took a look at his son.
"I don't think this is right. She causes trouble, Carl. All she has done is caused trouble."
"I think you have forgotten the part where she saved your daughter, you, Glenn and me." Carl spat, annoyed at his father's ignorence.
Rick sighed in defeat and scratched the back of his neck.
"I know I can't stop you, Carl. Just come back to us."
"So you're just going to let him go alone?" Maggie yelled, Carl glared at her but she didn't back down. "He's a child he'll get over her! She has done more bad than good! I never liked her."
"Put a sock in it, Maggie." Kirsty silenced her with one look. "It's his choice and he's old enough to take care of himself."
Carl noticed that he had an audience. Tyreese, Sasha and Carol had appeared from outside of the house, Rachel and Jo from down the hall. Carl sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm leaving I don't care what anyone says. I need to do this for myself."
With that said he grabbed his backpack and stuffed Kirsty's supplies inside. Carl stormed our of the house where he spent almost two months and sighed. Rachel had chased after him, stopping him before he could step into the forest.
"I know you'll find her." Rachel said, slumping down against a tree trunk, motioning for Carl to do the same. "She's a hard girl to figure out but she thinks what she's doing is going to save your life but you need to tell her otherwise."
Carl sighed and nodded, he knew that getting through to Lauren would be a hard task, that's if he even finds her. He knew that she would push him away and try to get him to leave but he hoped that she would see him and her walls would crumble down and she would forget her petty need to save him from pain.
"I just hope that everything I do will mean something in the end." Carl summarised his thoughts for Rachel who nodded.
"Don't give up on her, Carl. She might not be the same girl she was a month ago. You need to free her from herself again." Rachel smiled thoughtfully and Carl smiled back. He was excited at the proposal of actually finding Lauren. Carl would rather die then have to live out his life in a dull, grey view because she took all his colour with her.
"I'll do anything." Carl whispered, looking down at his hands which rested on his lap.
"I know you will." Rachel slapped him on the back and began to walk away. "Be careful, Carl. If you died because of her she wouldn't be able to continue."
Carl nodded and Rachel left him to his thoughts. He believed that he could find her and that she would realise that she needed him, that's if she haden't already. He knew he could make Lauren believe that one day they would be safe and free together.
"I can do this."
~•~
HELLO! Well this is chapter 2 and dear old Carl is going to take a trip to find Lauren. Let's hope that she didn't get too far away!
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