CHAPTER 17
NICOLLE’S POV
“You’re such a bitch. Alam mo ba ‘yon?! Kung kayo na ni Andrew sana sinabi mo sa’kin, para hindi ako nagmukhan gtanga. Fuck you, Nicolle. Fuck you. You were leading me on. Napakasama mo! Napakalandi mo. Alam mo, tama ako nung una eh. You’re a fucking slut. A good for nothing bitch.”
Was I just imagining? Or did Blake really say those words? It hurt so much.
It hurts so much that I don’t even know what I’m feeling. It hurts so much that I don’t even feel anything at all.
How could I? How could I possibly do that to him? Am I really leading him on with all these confusions submerging me down? Pulling me down to the unending derriere of this chaos of emotions swirling inside of me, ripping my heart apart, and breaking my mind into two. Or is there even a rear end?
How stupid can I get?
I’ve been crying since yesterday. I felt sick. More than sick, I felt like crap, ruining everything. No, I didn’t cheat on him. Of course, I didn’t. I didn’t because I know what it’s like to be cheated. I know what it’s like to feel left out. of course I didn’t cheat on him because I know better.
I didn’t dare hold my tears back. It’s ironic how I wanted to stop crying but I couldn’t. I shivered. I shivered. I shivered and along with more affliction and emotional maladies, the memory came flashing back to me.
He told me I was a good for nothing bitch. And for a second, I believed him.
He left me right there, crying. When black spots started to interfere with my vision, Andrew stepped closer and gathered me in his arms. And being the weak girl that I was inside, of course, I had to cry all over Andrew. I knew he didn’t mind me crying. I knew he really wanted to be there even if he didn’t have to. He even pressed me closer to him as I tightened my grip around his waist. I closed my moist cheeks right where his heart was beating calmly.
Gently, he stroked my back. A gesture that I translated as Andrew is here.
Here he was again, being the ‘best friend’, bringing out the weaker side of me. I pulled away and looked up to him. He cupped my face with his hands. I can see how concerned he was about me. He didn’t even mind the bleeding of his lips and nose. I felt really sick. I had this incredible boy hurt. And worse, I had ruined a 15 year old friendship.
I was worthless. I was useless. I was a scrap.
I was a good for nothing.
Tears started to roll down my cheeks again and Andrew brushed them carefully away with his thumbs. He was smiling at me. He needed not to say anything to comfort me. He just had to smile like that at me.
“I’m sorry.”
That’s all I said to him. It was a mile from enough, but that’s just what I can do. I wiped the blood from the side of his lips carefully with my thumb, not wanting to hurt him. He smiled and pulled me again to him. It was as if he read my mind. He knew that I needed someone. I needed him. As a friend.
I needed him to tell me that Blake was lying. Blake didn’t mean any of what he said. I needed him to tell me that… that I was just dreaming.
But I know this is the reality. What happened was real. And he couldn’t do anything to change what happened. I couldn’t. Blake couldn’t. No one could.
It was just as dramatic as it life itself.
Screw it.
After what seemed like forever just living in a comforting yet painful silence, we went inside the café to apologize to everyone and luckily, they understood. We helped them clean up and we stayed there for a while for milkshakes. I was just quiet the whole time and so was Andrew. Blake did this for me. The waffle castles, the photographs, the band, the roses.Everything.The effort.The sincerity. And I just let it slip from my hands.
I just let Blake Perez slip from my hands.
Way to go, Nicolle.
Meanwhile, Andrew was probably thinking about what he did to deserve this. Andrew didn’t deserve to be hurt. He wasn’t involved in this. It was me. Not him. It was me and my lunacy.
After finishing our milkshakes, which I really didn’t enjoy, he drove me home and walked me to my unit. Neither of us spoke the whole time. Cat got our tongues. The situation left us speechless. When we reached my unit, I thanked him and went straight to my bedroom.
Crying.
It was all that I could do right now.
Crying and thinking why and how Blake did that. He hurt me, more than physically. He hurt me with his words.
“You’re such a bitch. Alam mo ba ‘yon?! Kung kayo na ni Andrew sana sinabi mo sa’kin, para hindi ako nagmukhan gtanga. Fuck you, Nicolle. Fuck you. You were leading me on. Napakasama mo! Napakalandi mo. Alam mo, tama ako nung una eh. You’re a fucking slut. A good for nothing bitch.”
They never got out of my mind, Blake’s words. I could have chosen to be stabbed than to be told that by someone who mattered. And what’s worse, he hurt his best friend because of me. He hurt his best friend who was also my best friend.
Zelle didn’t try to bother me. She knew when to give me personal space and time on my own. I slept dreamless and emotionless the whole day and woke up at exactly 7:30 pm.
It’s strange really, how I could shift from a heavy emotion to no emotion at all.
Maybe I was really strange. I am strange.
Remember? A good for nothing kind of strange.
I smirked at the thought and made my way from my bathroom to the kitchen. I sat down the island and waited for Zelle to break the ice, which she did. “Sinabi na sa’kin lahat ni Andrew, Nicolle. Sorry…”
I nodded and smiled weakly at Zelle. She sat beside me and hugged me. I tried hard not to let these tears in my eyes fall down. I tried hard not to but it still fell. It was just like me. I tried hard not to fall for Blake but I still did. I told you, I easily could shift.
I’m screwed, am I not?
“Are you okay?” she asked just barely above a whisper.
I nodded, answering Zelle’s question. Liar. Of course, I wasn’t okay. Who would be okay in my shoes? Who would be okay when you’re right here, somewhere miles and miles away from home, falling in love with a freak who called you a slut, a whore, a good for nothing bitch? Who would be okay when you’re so fucked up you don’t know what shit to do anymore?!
Maybe all my thoughts flashed through my eyes because Zelle didn’t say anything after that. She knows me too well to not realize I was lying.
“Look, I’m really not that hungry,” I told her, my voice rough and husky from all the crying.
She nodded and said, “It’s okay—“
“It’s not okay. It’s not okay Zelle! Nothing’s fucking okay! You hear me?! Stop saying that it is because it’s not! Listen to me, I lied! And I know you know that I lied when I nodded and told you I am okay! I am not okay…. I am not…” my voice trailed off and my head pounded.
I was overridden with the guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the… treachery.
It’s just a slap of reality. A damn painful one!
And I’m pouring it all on Zelle.
This is not right. I took a deep breath and let it out a little shakily. “I’m sorry,” I said calmly. She just nodded and she gathered me in her arms. “It’s just so… painful.”
Right then, I cried again.
At exactly 8, I got to my feet and walked all the way to school. I still got some volleyball court to clean. I just can’t break a deal like that right? Stupid deals. Ruined my life!
As soon as I got there, only the maintenance staffs were in sight. And, thankfully, I don’t have to explain to the night guard what I’m going to do here. Coach Bart did that part.
I went straight to the volleyball court. It was already clean. The maintenance staff probably did the job. Oh well, I think I’m going back home and be all emo again. I turned around and I was shocked as hell. Andrew was standing right in front of me, grinning.
“I figured you were too tired to do it. Did I do the job right?”
I nodded and smiled at him.
“Oh, you’re the best cleaner in the world,” I teased. We sat on the bleachers; feeling the cold breeze of the night touched our skin. With nothing to say, we just sat there. Looking straight ahead, not really knowing how to start the conversation. Not really knowing if we would be having a talk.
We could have stayed like that for hours. His hand touching the back of mine and my head leaning on his shoulder. I closed my eyes. Silence.
Right then, Andrew broke the ice.
“I’m sorry I have to punch your boyfriend in the face, in front of you.”
I looked up at him and pulled my hand away discreetly. I smiled at him. “Yeah, you should’ve had let me do the thing.”
We burst out laughing with what I said. Yep, I could totally pull that off. We chatted for the next few minutes about his tennis training and competition. Unfortunately for me, the school won’t need any more tennis players. So I don’t really stand a chance. Andrew and I argued about some very meaningful things like what chocolate is the best. I go for Hershey’s bars and he goes for Kitkat. Kitkat isn’t even a chocolate. It’s just a wafer covered in melted chocolate. I insisted that but he just wouldn’t listen. They were just silly things that we talked about.
Apparently, he was trying to get as far from talking about Blake. He doesn’t want me to get upset. He was just too sweet. And I was too lucky to meet him and consider him as my friend…. Best friend even.
“Hey Andrew, thanks. Thanks a lot,” I finally said.
“What? For informing you that Kitkat is the best chocolate?”
I rolled my eyes and playfully hit his shoulder, in which, he responded with fake hurt. I rolled my eyes yet again.
“No really, thank you,” I repeated, a bit shy.
I felt my cheeks turn red when he flashed me his sweetest smile and enveloped me in his arms. It was a comfortable position to be at. A smile stretched across my face as tears started to blur my vision. This is Andrew, always making me cry happy tears.
“No, thank you,” he replied. Why the hell would he thank me? I felt him sigh and the moment I pulled away, he wiped my tears away and kissed my cheek. Blake should be the one doing this. He should be the one comforting me at my down moments. But I guess that’s just wishful thinking.
***
When I got home, I laid on my bed just thinking about Blake. I really wanted to talk to him. I really wanted to see him. I wanted to hug him tight and say I’m sorry. I wanted to explain everything. I wanted to clear things out. I just wanted to be perfectly good. I wanted him. But he wouldn’t listen, would he? I drifted to sleep with teardrops on my pillow. Stupid theatrical life!
I woke up to the buzzing sound of my phone. I lazily stretched my hand searching for my phone. By the time I took hold of it, another buzz came out of it. What’s wrong with these people texting me so early in the morning? I lazily opened my sore eyes and looked at my phone’s screen. Holy crap! It’s already almost 3PM. Seriously? Since when did I become the sleeping beauty?
I read the first message and it was from Krungy. She was just asking about how I am. I didn’t bother replying since the only one I wanted to talk to is the guy who sent the second message. Blake Perez. I read the message with stupid teary eyes. Oh God, I am such a drama queen.
CAN WE TALK?
My breath was caught in my throat when he called. Should I answer this? I mean, I don’t know what to say to him. Heck, I don’t even know if I can talk. Maybe I should NOT answer this. Come on, he’s probably thinking I’m mad as hell and he’ll understand why I don’t pick up.
The ringing stopped and I sighed in relief. I sat down and leaned against my headboard with a pillow rested on my lap and my phone placed on it. For some reason, I was hoping he would call again but another part of me was hoping he wouldn’t.
I was staring blankly at my phone debating with myself on whether or not I’ll pick up if he calls again. I was rambling words way too loud that Zelle may actually think I’m crazy. Oh yes, I am crazy.
And there it goes again. My phone was ringing. Blake was calling. I blew a big breath and rubbed my palms together before my shaking hands picked the phone up. I’m so fucked up.
“Err…Hey…err…Blake.”
I heard nothing. He was probably nervous too. Well yeah, he should be. I mean, he just hurt me badly and that sucks, really. I gulped before calling his name again. I heard him sigh and I hugged my knees with the pillow between my chest and legs. I closed my eyes as he spoke. Oh hell no, he was singing.
“Didn’t mean to take you for granted. Didn’t mean to show I don’t care. Didn’t mean to throw away this once in a lifetime of chance being with you.”
He paused for a while. I have never heard of that song ever.
“I’m sorry, Nicolle. I really am.”
Was it just me or Blake just sniffed? Oh my God, is he crying? No. No. Get a grip, Nicolle. Why the hell would he cry over a fake girlfriend, right? I closed my eyes as I struggled to choose the correct words to say. I just have to take this easily without hurting or offending either of us. I’m not so rude after all. There was silence for a few minutes. And finally, after what seemed like forever, words exited my mouth. It was a sudden decision. And there was no easy way of saying those three words.
Three words that will end complications.
Three words that will save our asses.My ass, especially.
Not I love you.
But…
“Let’s break up.”
“Ok”
That was just his reply. It came out of his mouth so fast. That’s it? That’s his response? He said that with no hesitations. It was a hurtful response. He ended the call and left me crying.
Well that hurt, bigtime.
Let’s break up.
Ok.
So cold.So flat.So… sure.
Like I told him to fire a gun right through my skull, he shrugged then did it.
But it was worse.
***
Today was Monday. After that phone call with Blake, everything went back to normal. I spent the whole day with Zelle. I cleaned the volleyball court with Andrew who was still trying not to say anything related to Blake. Zelle was also doing that. Even Vincent, who called me last night. And I can just imagine him picturing Blake’s head in his fist. He tried cheering me up by talking nonstop about the girl he was pining for. It was effective though. I’ve never heard my brother talk about a girl like that. He was in a heap of trouble. I was so proud of him leaving his ‘player’ life.
I missed my brother so much.
If he were here, I don’t think I will be experiencing any of this because I’m sure as hell he’ll be killing Blake right now. I wish he were here.
It was lunch time. I was spending it with Zelle and some of her friends. They were all nice to me. The whole morning went by so fast. I was just thinking about the last two days. The rough days. I wasn’t speaking. I wasn’t listening. Just sitting there, thinking about…Blake. The only thing he said was an ‘ok’. Plain and simple. He didn’t even ask why. Just an ‘ok’ and he was all good.
“Hey, you alright?” someone asked, out of the blue.
I looked up and saw Krungy in her training outfit, holding a bottle of water. I stood up and hugged the life out of Samantha Perez. I pulled away after a split second. Then, without warning, she dragged me to the nearest lady’s restroom. She told everyone to get out and without hesitating, all went out. She locked the door then looked at me with concern filling her features.
“So… I broke up with him and I still haven’t told anyone about it,” I told her. I faked a smile. She didn’t say anything. She was just looking at me with worry. She was waiting for me to speak. She was just listening, just like Andrew always does.
“I don’t know why I did that but I thought that was the right thing to do. Right yet wrong,”I shrugged.
“Ganun lang talaga siya Nicolle.Pagka nagalit siya, hindi na niya makontrol ang sarili niya. Ako na humihingi ng pasensya. Hindi niya dapat ginawa at sinabi yon. Sorry Nicolle.’
I smiled. I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. My nose was all red and my eyes were sore. I didn’t even realize I was crying. I’m such a drama queen, am I not? Krungy then patted my back soothingly.
“Sinabi niya sa’kin lahat. How it all started hanggang sa kahapon. Habang knkwento niya, he was emotionless. But we all know the truth right? He likes you and… somehow, you feel the same. Right?”
I nodded and smiled weakly. Now, there are four of us who knows about these stupid emotions. Me, Zelle, Vincent andKrungy. And everyone else thinks I loved him since day 1. Well, guess what? I didn’t.
It was just by time that I realized… I was falling slowly. Slowly and deeply.
****
The next days were just the same. They left as fast as they came. Awkward and silent. I spent most of my time inside the classroom and then go home. Then I’ll go back to clean the volleyball court. Of course, Andrew was there to help me.
“Hey, bitch.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I turned around and saw 5 cheerleaders standing in front of me. Here’s some catfight all over again. Girls have been shooting daggers at me since yesterday. Well apparently, someone has overheard what Krungy and I talked about in the lady’s room last Monday.
I leaned against my locker eyeing the one in the middle.
“Well, good afternoon too,” I replied, sarcastically. She stepped closer to me twisting some of her curls around her index finger. I swear cheerleaders are the worst.
“Ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo no?! Ganun ganun ka na lang umasta?! You’re such a user! Ginamit mo lang si Prince Blake para maging popular ka like us. And now nakilalaka na ng almost everyone, you broke up with him? And worse, you cheated. Who do you think you are huh? You’re just a newbie here.”Her voice was screechy as nails on chalkboard. It almost made my ears bleed.
I took a deep breath and contained my violence inside my body. No, people are not allowed to skin other people.
“Look, I don’t owe you an explanation, ok? Whatever you think of me, that’s fine. Now, please move. Thanks.”
I smirked at her before adding…
“And yeah, your outfit is so slutty that people will think you work in a strip club. That’s just a piece of advice, honey.”
I started walking away. I’ve taken only 3 steps before one of them grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me back to my locker. My face crumpled in anger. Just before I could ask what the hell their problem is, the middle girl slapped me.
Hard.
Of course, my jaw dropped and my eyes widened. I blew a big breath and gave her my best death glare. Oh, looks like someone’s gonna break her neck today. I was just preparing myself for murder (ok, I was exaggerating) when everyone’s attention was drawn to the guy who pushed the bitch really hard that she actually bumped the locker next to me. My heart started to beat fast at the sight of Blake.
The girl immediately knelt down in front of him. Blake just ignored her and turned to look at me. He slowly raised his hand to touch my cheek. He sighed. He didn’t have any expression on. Just plain. Just like an emotionless zombie.
“I’m sorry Prince Blake. Sorry po talaga. Sorry. Sorry,” the cheerleader begged. We both looked at her red face. Blake turned to his heel and walked away without any other word. And I walked away too, going to class.
At the moment, I felt like I was lost. He touched my cheek. But more than that, he touched my heart. I missed him. I missed him so much. At the moment, I wanted to pull him to me. At the moment I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to say I’m sorry. At the moment, I wanted to just die right in his eyes. At the moment I wanted to tell him how I feel… how I feel for him.
How I’m falling for him.
But it all faded away when he walked away. Without any other words, he walked… away.
For good, probably.
I kept on checking the time. It was nearly 4:30 PM. The slap from that cheerleader gave me a slight headache. FYI, her hand was a special killing tool. Man, was it heavy! But somehow, I was glad that happened because if it didn’t, would Blake even went near me? We’ve been ignoring each other since Monday. And it’s getting harder and harder not to look at him when I always catch him staring at me.
Oh yes, he was staring at me. With pain.With hurt.With so much guilt and so much… I don’t know… emotions?
Oh, fuck my life!
***
“Really? Kahit na ganun mga sinabi niya sayo lilinisin mo pa rin tong volleyball court nila?! Masyado kang martir ha!”
I nodded and continued mopping the area. It was half past 7 and Zelle was supposedly here to help me clean and not to lecture me. Yeah, about Andrew… I lied and told him that yesterday was the last day of cleaning the court. I did that so he would get some rest. So I dragged Zelle here but I was regretting it now. She wasn’t much help. She just wouldn’t zip her mouth.
“I mean Jot, that’s just so stup—“
“Just shut up Zelle and help me finish this so we could go home, ok?”
Rude, yeah. She pouted like a little kid and of course I just have to roll my eyes at that. There was silence for a couple of seconds before her voice was back in the scene again. Oh God!
“Alam mo, hindi ko pa namemeet yung mga kaibigan mo. I mean, oo, nakausap ko na si Andrew and Blake pero yung Krungy at yung Luke, hindi pa. You think magugustuhan nila ako?”
Well, Zelle’s friendly and cute and fun to be with so I think Krungy would want to be her friend. Blake told me that she likes Zelle. Andrew’s not choosy when it comes to friends and even if he is, he would pick Zelle as one. And knowing Luke, with all Zelle’s charms, he would definitely hit on her. What do you know? Luke likes everything that is female.
I turned around and nodded at Zelle. She sighed and continued mopping the floor.
“Well, yeah. They would really like you. You’re—“
Before I even finish my sentence, Zelle sighed yet again making me stop and look at her.“Jot… Tracy talked to me yesterday. Sabi niya, lumayo daw ako sayo para hindi ako madamay sa mga alam mo na… But don’t worry, hindi ko gagawin yon. At sabi niya din sakin, sabihin ko daw sayo na layuan mo na si Blake. You think siya yung may gawa nung mga posters na yon?”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.“What posters?”
I felt nervous. What the hell are these posters? I’m certain that they are about bashing me but how bad can they be? Zelle led me to the school’s front door. Good thing, it wasn’t yet locked. As soon as we entered the school, I took a deep breath and then looked around. There were posters everywhere… posters of a stolen picture of mine with some words on it.
BITCH. SLUT.CHEATER. CALL NICOLLE ;)
Well, they could have at least removed the winking icon at the end. And why the hell didn’t I see this?!
As if knowing what my question would be, Zelle said, “Linagay yan kaninang dismissal. Kaninang nasa labas ka na. Sorry, hindi ko nasabi agad sayo. Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano eh.”
I nodded and walked towards the nearest lockers. I was just staring at one of the posters pasted on there. Bitch? Slut? Cheater? Heartless bitches! I felt my fingers dig deeper and deeper down my palm that I wouldn’t be surprise if it was bleeding. I gritted my teeth and my jaw tightened. They don’t even know me! They don’t even know what really was going on.
What’s wrong with these people? Do they think they could all say whatever they wanted to just because their so-called Prince got hurt?! What about me? I got hurt too, didn’t I? Did they even consider that I am human, too? That I feel something too? That I’m not just some random girl that they could push everytime they wanted to?
What the fork?!
With my blood boiling crazily, my insides ignited in rage. That’s when I felt a movement by the far end of the hallway. Zelle and I turned to check what that is.
“Sino yan?”Zelle shouted. We walked towards the direction carefully. It was a guy but it wasn’t clear who he was. And he didn’t see us. Or maybe he’s just not interested. As we got nearer, my jaw dropped.
“Blake?”
He was removing the posters. He turned to look at us. His body was stiff and the look in his eyes was stern. Was he mad?
“It’s ok Blake. You don’t have to—“ He dropped the papers on the ground and looked at me which shut me up. He grabbed a poster from the lockers and raised it in front of my face.
“Eto?! Ok lang to?! Ha?!” he shouted.
I was tempted to shout at him too; to say that fucking no! It’s not fucking okay! Nothing’s okay! Nothing!
Zelle took hold of my hand and squeezed it gently. I looked at her and mouthed an ‘it’s ok’. After that, she gave us some privacy. I looked back at Blake.
“They will clean that up tomorrow. I really don’t mind.”
I smiled weakly and nodded. It’s not really ok of course. People are going to be killing me the moment they set their eyes on me. He didn’t say anything. He just continued pulling those freaking posters from the locker doors then dropped them angrily on the floor. I held the top of his hand to stop him. He pushed it away and I took a step back. Dropping my eyes on the floor, I looked through my lashes. Blake was looking straight to the lockers. His arms rested on the door.
All of a sudden, he pulled me to him. His arms wrapped around me. My hands were dropped to my side while my cheek was resting on his chest. Feeling it rise and fall with his every breath. I let him hug me for a couple more minutes. There’s no need to say anything. He was sorry. But I can’t forgive him just like that. And even if I did, we can never be more than friends again. We’re better off as friends. I pulled away and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you,” I whispered then walked away towards Zelle.
I pulled away one poster but before we could exit the school, Blake shouted, “It’s not okay. Nothing’s okay.”
I looked at him over my shoulder. He was smirking, but I could feel the hurt. It just radiates everywhere. From my heart.From his heart.From his breath.From my breath.From his stare.From my stare.
From my tears.
Then we left the school.
By the time we got home, Zelle took everything overboard and felt sick so I was left with no choice but to cook for dinner. Right, if you call a half cooked egg and burned bacon dinner. After dinner, I decided to call Macey and Billy. God, I missed those guys.
“Good thing you picked up because this call will cost a freaking fortune,” I greeted with raised eyebrow.
A smile spread across my face as I realized I was talking to Macey. I haven’t seen her in ages, so don’t blame me for having this goofy grin on my face.
“This better be bad important because you freaking woke me up from the best sleep I had in ages, Lee.”
I burst out laughing with what Macey said. That was perfect timing I did there, yeah?
“I missed you too, Macey,” I countered, lying on the couch on my stomach.
“I know right? Like, I can just imagine you crying yourself to sleep just thinking how a mile cooler your life is with the great Macey Smith.”
“One point to the full-of-herself version of my geek best friend.”I smirked and heard a loud groan on the other line.
“Hey, you putting Billy on?”
I nodded as if she can see me.
“About to. Am. Did. Yeah, why? You think he can’t handle my coolness?”
“Heck! I did something very, very, very funny against his will.”
I heard a male voice ‘heying’ us. Of course, I got so excited. It was my other best friend, Billy-Shawn Rivers.
“Hey Billy-Shawn!”
I can almost see him rolling his eyes at me as he hated being called Shawn. He had always hated his middle name.
“Hey Nicolle Lee!”His voice was sleepy and my, oh my, it was deeper than I remember.
“And hey to the girl who stole my favorite book and sell it on eBay then treat me to lunch. Very wise, Ms. Smith.”
So that’s what Macey was talking about? Just so you know, Billy Shawn loved his books more than chocolate cakes. Nerdy, yeah? But he’s one cool damn one! Macey and I burst out laughing for a few good minutes, we kept quiet then shouted over the phone in the same instance.
Billy said, “You suck guys!”
Macey said, “I love you Rivers!”
I said, “You deserve it, Shawn.”
After our laughing fits, we continued talking to each other for hours. I refused to tell them about my little situation here with Blake. They did not have to know right now. I’ll just talk about it when everything’s sorted out.
****
The next day, was another normal day at home. There were no classes since everyone was preparing for the sports competition this Friday. Just got a phone call from my mom and dad and Vincent and Macey and Billy. And Zelle left for I really don’t know what or where. So I was alone the whole day. But it was ok, I had fun with talking to the New Yorkers back there the whole day.
***
I was sitting on one of the bleachers watching the last game for today. The volleyball boys’ competition. Andrew and Krungy who ended up champions were at the VIP seats. They didn’t know I was here, so that made me watch alone. Zelle felt sick again so she decided not to come. Everyone roared in excitement because I was obvious that Captain Prince’s team was totally winning.
I watched how intimidated the other team was while Blake was spiking the ball to their side of the court. And that’s it. We won. No, scratch that. They won. Almost everyone jumped in victory as Blake’s team shook hands with the other team.
A couple of minutes after, some girl holding a mic and being projected on the big screen approached Blake for some sort of interview. She asked about the game plan, strategy, how it felt, the pressure and the like. And I swear, every girl was swooning and drooling as he answered each question confidently. After a set of q&a’s the interviewer asked the final question.
“Do you have anything else to say?”
Blake nodded and the girl gave the mic to him. Now, Blake had the moment. Blake’s sweaty face was projected. He took a deep breath and the girls were dying. They really are.
“I’m sorry.” He paused and my heart started beating fast. I was happy and anxious at the same time. He wasn’t looking anywhere but the floor. I smiled. Then everyone started to chant Tracy’s name. ‘Tracy, Tracy, Tracy’ my face dropped. Six guys appeared behind Blake holding cardboards.
WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND…AGAIN?
Was it for me or Tracy? Someone pushed Tracy to the centre of the court. Blake had his eyes closed.
My heart was doing crazy things that I couldn’t even explain. I’m afraid. I’m so afraid. And I don’t even know why! This was just plain nerve wracking in a way. And I had no idea!
“I’m sorry. I was a jerk. Just give me another chance, please.”
Tracy walked towards him and I stood up starting to walk away. 1 2 3 4 5 steps before I let this stupid tear fall. Blake spoke again. I looked back at him and he was looking at my direction. I thought they didn’t know I was here?
“Nicolle Lee, will you be my girlfriend again?”
There was silence all around and all eyes were on me.
“Just another chance.”
He knelt down.
Another freaking chance to let him hurt me again? That’s just bullshit. I started to walk away again. I walked away from the court.
From the crowd.
From Blake.
I cannot do that again.