The weather was good, once again, in NYC. It was as if everything was going perfectly for me today; like heaven was finally cutting me some slack and giving me everything I'd been praying for.
I couldn't stop smiling and I was sure that if life were a musical, I'd be that girl who wouldn't shut up.
I got ready for Pattie's brunch by getting cleaned up and changing into something presentable and comfortable (that meant no heels).
I thought my hand looked different. It certainly felt different. As I managed my hair in front of the mirror, I couldn't help but stare at the ring that had officially turned me into Justin's fiancé.
He walked into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my cheek and looked at me through the mirror.
"You're still smiling." He said.
"I'm really happy," I said. "I still can't believe it."
"I think Dileah Bieber has a nice ring to it."
"I think so too." I turned around and faced him. "You really want to marry me?"
"There's no dount in my mind." He smiled at me.
I looked at my ring again.
"It's a beautiful ring." I said.
"I had a hard time picking it out."
"When did you go shopping for it?"
"Ah, this is the part when I start confessing, huh?" He pursed his lips.
I crossed my arms and waited.
"Well... when we were in Paris, I was sure I wanted to pop the question but I didn't want to ask without talking to Ms Jones first-- I was clueless too about what to look for in a ring-- so I waited till we were in Canada and I went to fetch her from the airport and she gave me some good tips. I spoke to a jewellery designer, sent you and Ms Jones off for some pampering and fetched the ring."
"You mean to tell me that Ms Jones knew all along that you wanted to propose?"
Justin nodded.
"But that day you said you were with your mom." I said.
"You honestly expected me to tell you where I'd really been?"
Okay, that would've been stupid.
"Does your mom know?" I asked.
"Nope. No one knows, just Ms Jones. But she doesn't know that I asked you. She just knows that I was looking for a ring."
I started to smile.
"You're slick." I said.
Justin pecked my nose.
"And we'll be late for brunch if we don't leave in the next five minutes."
I was left to finish getting ready in the bathroom. I then went to put on a coat and get my bag and I left the hotel with Justin.
"McKenzie?" Justin said once McKenzie had started driving.
"Sir."
"Have you fetched Ms Jones from her home and taken her to the hotel?"
"Yes, sir."
Justin nodded, satisfied with the fact that at least Ms Jones had been on time for the brunch.
He was formal Justin for a minute and that made me smile slightly.
Being in New York with him would always take me back to when we first met.
We were back at that hotel Pattie had thrown her party at last night. Justin and I made our way inside and, after speaking to an employee, we were lead to the large ballroom where everyone was already helping themselves to food and chatting away.
The room was very well lit with French doors lining the wall, bringing in lots of sunlight and giving a beautiful view of the hotel's back garden which had a lot of ferns, a water fountain and other plants which I assumed would've been blossoming beautifully if it wasn't winter. The walls and ceiling of the room had a lot of art on them and the room had one grand table in the middle and matching vintage chairs which seated the Harrisons, Ms Jones and the family's close friends. It was all fit for royalty.
Justin and I made our way to the table to two empty seats down opposite ends of the table where Pattie, Richard, Ms Jones, Aisha and her parents sat. Richard was at the head of the table, Pattie on his right with Ms Jones, and John on his left with Dona and Aisha. Next to Ms Jones was an empty seat and next to Aisha was an empty seat. Justin and I would be sitting opposite each other.
We greeted everyone and apologised for being late but I didn't dare speak of the engagement. I was still in shock about it and quite shy to say.
Justin pulled my chair out for me before going to sit next to Aisha and then we plated up some food for ourselves.
"What did you two get up to this morning?" Aisha grinned at me and Justin.
"The real question is, what did you get up to last night?" Justin fired back with a grin.
"Nothing. I socialised." Aisha said.
"With Ryan?"
"Yes, he's really nice actually."
"Where is he anyway?" Justin looked around the table.
"He couldn't make it. You'd know why if you and Dileah had cared to say goodbye to everyone before running off." Aisha's grin returned.
I was blushing.
I didn't want to draw attention to myself by speaking and then having everyone's eyes fixed on me then the ring, then have Pattie and Ms Jones celebrating and dying on us... no, I'd shut up and have my food quietly and only speak when spoken to and try to keep my left hand out of the way.
"Dileah and I were tired and we knew that saying goodbye would've resulted in us being forced to stay longer." Justin said.
"You still could've said bye." Aisha rolled her eyes.
"Well, we knew we'd see everyone again today so it's really not a big deal."
"It is a big deal!"
"Aisha, you left Dileah to stand alone while you were 'socialising' with Ryan."
"What? Dileah--"
"Oh, goodness, it's still too early for this." Dona said. "You two carry on like siblings."
Justin and Aisha blushed and kept quiet and I smiled to myself about how childish Aisha made Justin. She was probably the only person who had that effect on him.
"How was the party last night?" Ms Jones shifted the attention to me.
Great.
"It was good. Pattie knows her stuff." I smiled.
"If I were about twenty years younger, I would've shown up to teach you all a thing or two about dancing." Ms Jones joked.
We laughed.
"I'm sure you could school me still. I suck at dancing." I said.
"Nod your head to the music. You'll get away with not being able to dance." Pattie said.
"Dileah just swayed her hips." Aisha said.
"Subtly too." I added.
"Very lady-like, dear." Ms Jones supported me.
"Unlike Aisha." Justin teased.
Aisha's lips parted and she scowled at Justin.
"I'm joking." He smiled at her and hugged her tightly. "I love you."
Aisha pushed him off her and ate her food quietly.
I felt sorry for her and I was about to scold Justin for being mean when Richard asked me to pass him the platter with the hash browns that was right in front of me.
I wouldn't have hesitated if my right hand wasn't sticky with jelly from the scones I'd been enjoying. I had a few options that I had a few seconds to think through: 1) tell Richard no and continue eating 2) lick my fingers on my right hand and use that hand to pass on the platter-- that would be unhygienic though-- and 3) use my left hand to reach for the napkins which were right in front of Aisha and risk her seeing my ring.
Option 3 it was, and just as I thought I'd gotten a napkin safely, Aisha gasped loudly as I passed on the platter to Richard, and she tipped over her half-empty glass of juice, dampening the table.
Everyone looked at her, wondering what was going on.
"Are you alright, Aisha?" John checked on his daughter.
Dona was looking at Aisha's shocked face with concern. Maybe she thought Aisha was choking on something.
"Aisha?" Pattie also started showing worry.
Aisha squealed and pointed towards me frantically before she began giggling.
"Is that a ring? Let me see!" She said rather loudly.
Oh boy.
I looked at Justin and he was pinching the bridge of his nose to escape the embarrassment. Obviously this wasn't how he'd planned to let everyone know the news.
"You did it?" Ms Jones's face lit up.
"Did what?" Pattie asked.
"What's going on?" Dona asked.
I slowly held up my left hand to show my ring and Pattie was quick to get up and shout, "yes!" like she'd hit the lotto.
Our side of the table started being loud and that made everyone in the room look our way.
Between Ms Jones crying, Pattie attacking me with hugs and kisses on my cheek and Aisha pulling on my hand to snap a picture of the ring, I didn't know if I was coming or going.
Richard called an employee and asked for some bottles of their best champagne.
Suddenly, Pattie was announcing that Justin and I were engaged and as everyone applauded us, I knew that Justin wanted to run off just as much as I did.
He gave me an apologetic smile.
"Congratulations, dear." Ms Jones had her arm around me and was smiling brightly.
At least people were happy for us. Justin's family liked me and that was a relief.
We all got a round of champagne and Richard and Pattie made a toast then, for the rest of our time at the brunch, Justin and I got nothing but good wishes.
--
Justin and I got back to the hotel just before evening came.
I was tired and hungry for dinner but, more than anything, feeling a bit hollow above being excited about being Justin's fiancé.
All the excitement that took place at Pattie's brunch had made me feel a little uneasy. I was never comfortable with too much attention. Actually, I'd once been so comfortable being a nobody. Now I was the future wife of a really successful businessman and his family was really happy with that. It made me go back to missing my mom. I knew it was probably annoying to bring her up each time something good happened in my life but I just thought she would've loved to see everything happen.
"Are you alright, Dileah?" Justin snapped me out of my thoughts.
I was wiping off my makeup in the bathroom.
Justin had probably been talking to me from the bedroom but I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear a word.
I put on a smile and looked at him.
"I'm good." I said.
"You've been awfully quiet since we got back."
"I know. I'm just... tired and overwhelmed."
"Sorry about how it all turned out."
"It's fine. Everyone was bound to find out soon anyway."
"Aisha can be a bit of a drama queen." Justin smiled.
"It's okay."
He watched me take my jewellery off and place it on the bathroom counter.
"Dileah, what's bothering you?"
He began to frown.
The last thing I wanted to do was kill the good mood and depress Justin with another one of my 'I wish my mom could've been here' speeches.
I shook my head and took my jewellery to the bedroom where I put it away safely. All I kept on was my engagement ring, Ms Jones's bracelet and the key necklace Justin had given me for Christmas.
"Dileah," Justin said. "Did I say something to upset you?"
"No, Justin."
"Then what is it? Did you change your mind about the engagement?"
"Now you're being paranoid." I rolled my eyes.
"Do you blame me?"
"I just don't want to depress you with one of my sad speeches about how I wish my mom was alive, blah blah blah. That's all. I'm more than happy to be engaged to you." I went to find my pyjamas.
"You never depress me when you speak of your mother, Dileah." He was calm.
"Well, I hate sounding like a broken record. She'll never come back. I don't know why I always find myself wishing..."
"I think it's nice that you still hold her close to your heart."
"I hate that every good moment in my life is ruined momentarily by me over thinking and imagining how things would be if she hadn't..."
"It's okay, sweetheart."
"No, it's not, Justin. I have you, Ms Jones, Pattie... what more could I possibly ask for? I have enough love in my life now, something I've always wanted. And Ms Jones has been nothing but a great motherly figure to me. She'd probably get upset if she knew how often I thought of my mom. It's as if I don't appreciate her being there for me since losing my mom."
"Dileah, what you're feeling is absolutely normal."
"I just want to be totally happy, Justin."
"Thinking of your mother won't ruin your happiness. She was a big part of your life and you lost her unexpectedly."
"You don't think it's annoying?"
"Not one bit." Justin gave me a warm smile.
"I don't know why I suddenly feel this way. I felt hollow being around your family. I don't want to feel that way, Justin. I want to be whole for you so I'm enough for you when we get married."
"Don't over think things, sweetheart." He came to hold my face in his hands. "You're more than enough for me. I love you just as you are."
I smiled sadly.
"I think I'll always be broken."
"And I'll never stop trying to fix you."