A lot of things in life are more for others rather than the person that it is dedicated too. Funerals are more for the living than the dead. Memorials are generally made in honour of people who have passed, but they only have significance to us. First birthdays, the kid doesn't remember it. A nice baby nursery, the kid also won't remember that unless it's the same ten years later. But still we do it because we care.
"I think it is safe to say that he'll like it," I look around the freshly finished nursery that Jake and I have been working on for a few days. "Agree?" I ask Jake who is standing next to me.
"Yeah, if he remembers it," Jake chuckles, his arm slinging around my shoulder as we inspect the room.
The walls and curtains are both white, which goes well with the dark floorboards that we have in our home. There's a light shade that matches the floors and his cot is a fresh wooden colour and oval shaped, the change table is the same wood, with both with white and grey bedding/ covering. There's a chair for me to breastfeed in I suppose, shelving with toys and other things in it, a few cute giraffe toys around the place, a nice white and grey striped rug and then of course the in- built wardrobe that has nappies, clothes, and other stuff already starting to fill up inside it.
"Only three months to go now," Jake smiles, pressing a gentle kiss on the corner of my jaw as he stands behind me now, his hands resting on the side of my bump. I'm more than happy that he is going to help me with the baby. Even though the little one isn't biologically Jake's, Jake has been a better father than Jordan ever was or ever will be. Jake is my baby's Dad as far as I'm concerned.
"We still need to pick a name," I remind Jake and he chuckles.
"Jes, we can name him after he arrives, you don't need to plan everything love," Jake hugs me tightly.
"I'm hormonal and nesting, I need to pick his name before he's born," I inform Jake.
"What if when he's born the name doesn't suit?"
"Well then we'll pick another one," I reply.
"So why pick one now then?" Jake questions.
"Because Jake," I sigh and he chuckles again, placing another kiss on my cheek. "Stop, don't do that," I try to whack him but he just keeps chuckling and placing kisses all over my cheeks. I end up laughing myself and relaxing into his arms.
I watch the rain hitting the windows and drizzling down the glass, the overcast weather outside seemingly gloomy but quite beautiful in reality. There's only eleven days until Christmas and I'm almost done with the Christmas shopping. I'm kind of hoping for a white Christmas, even though it doesn't happen normally.
The room becomes dark from whats happening outside so I reach back and hit the light switch as the lights in the room turn on, lighting the place back up.
"Thank the Lord for Thomas Edison and his creation of lightbulbs," Jake says and I immediately smile. I found it, oh my Goodness.
"That's it Jake!" I exclaim.
"What is?"
"His name, our baby's name!" I smile, turning around so I'm now facing Jake, a big smile on my face as I look at Jake with excitement. It's the perfect name for our son. I've been looking for something different but not too different, classy but not pony and something with a cute nickname.
"Lightbulb? You want to name him lightbulb?" Jake questions and I roll my eyes. "Thomas? I thought you didn't want Thomas, well you didn't when I suggested it," Jake reminds me.
"No Jake," I laugh. "Edison, lets name him Edison," I smile and Jake gives me a slightly shocked look. "I mean, it just feels like it is the right name. Like this thing in my stomach should be called Edison," I tell Jake.
Jake smiles and nods his head, "It's perfect Jes. I think that's a pretty awesome name as well, 'cause it's not common but it works and he can be nicknamed Eddy." I nod my head in agreement and Jake places his hand on my bump, "Maybe don't call him 'thing' though, you can call him Edison now, or him, not thing," Jake adds and I laugh, nodding my head in agreement and pecking Jake's lips quickly.
"Edison Roche," I say as the name rolls off my tongue.
"R- Roche?" Jake stutters and I look up at him, realising I said his surname subconsciously, because that is what I want our son's surname to be.
"Yes Jake, Edison Roche," I smile and Jake's whole face lights up like a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. His eyes are sparkling and he has the happiest smile on his face. "We can pick a middle name later," I add.
"I like that," Jake beams and cups my face, kissing me multiple times and then stepping back. I watch as he pulls something out of his back pocket and then bends down in front of me, one knee up, one knee down. Holy fuck.
"Jake...." I mutter, my heart palpitating inside my chest as I feel my hormonal bloody tears swelling in my eyes.
"What do you say Jesy? I've been waiting for the right moment to do this. Will you?" Jake asks, holding the little black box in front of me.
But there are also things for the living. Moments that you will never be able to replace, memories that stay with you forever. We do things because we care about what we're doing. Okay, you could say that you don't care as much as you want, but in all honesty anything that you give time to you must have some care for, or at least interest in.
"Yes Jake, yes," I smile. And just like that, everything slots into place.