The blade of the sword pressed to her neck. She looked right at him, her blue eyes filling with tears, her swollen abdomen prominent under her jacket, hands trembling.
"This is not your fault!" She choked out.
"Slade! Let her go! Kill me, kill me," he screamed.
"Oliver no!" The blade bit into her skin causing a flow of crimson blood to run down the ivory column of her neck. He got down on his knees in front of Slade.
"Please, please I'll do anything," he pleaded. "Don't kill her, don't kill our baby. Do what you want with me but don't touch her. She's innocent, she doesn't deserve this."
"So was Shado!" Slade screamed. Felicity cried out as the blade slice her skin deeper. "She didn't deserve what happened to her, but look where she is, a shallow grave on island because you didn't choose her. No, I keep my promises kid. When her body lies at your feet, lifeless and broken. You'll know exactly how I feel!"
"I already know how you feel!" Slade pushes her down and she landed on her knees with a painful crack. Tears roll down his cheeks.
"If only you would have died on that island, then none of this would be happening." The sword comes around to the front of her neck but her eyes never leave his.
"Oliver, do not blame yourself. Please." She chokes on a sob. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break my promise. Don't hate me."
"Slade! Stop!" He took a step towards him but he only press the blade deeper and yanked on her ponytail. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her eyes closed in pain but she didn't make a sound.
"Don't hate me, don't hate me," she cried softly.
"I could never hate you. Felicity look at me!" She looked up into his eyes. "It's going to be all right." He stared into her eyes begging him to believe him. Slade gives a guttural cry and stabs the sword through her chest and pulls it out. "NO!" It tears from his lips and he cries out her name. Crimson blooms on her chest and she gasps and begins to fall, he catches her and lowers her body to the ground.
"Felicity! It's okay." He presses his hand to the wound trying to staunch the bleeding. The logical part of his mind tells him it's hopeless. She's going to die. "NO!" He screams again. "No,no,no. You're going to be okay. Felicity look at me," Eyes filled with pain lifted to his,her breath came in gasps as she tried to speak. "No don't speak."
"I love you," she choked out. Her eyes begin to close.
"No, don't you dare. Felicity, don't you dare, you promised!"
"I'm sorry," she wheezed. She lifted her hand and wiped one of his tears then laid her palm on his cheek, he leaned into it. "I love you so much. This isn't your fault."
"Don't say that, you're going to be okay. We can get through anything. We made a vow."
Her eyes drifted closed and he shook her.
"We made a vow Felicity!" He shook her harder. "Wake up, wake up!"
Slade drifted away. "It's all your fault kid."
"No! Please! Come back to me." He sobbed as grabbed her face and kiss her still warm lips. "Come back." He laid his head against motionless chest and cried harder. "You can't leave....I love you, I love you, wake up, I love you."
But she stays still in his arms, all signs of life gone. He pulls back to look at her face.
"Open your eyes, please, open your eyes," he begged.
But she's gone. Forever.
Why her?
His chest is tight and it feels as though he's been stabbed too. Maybe he has. He wanted to die too.
He gathered her blood covered body to his chest and sobbed into her neck, running his fingers through blonde hair and pressing his other hand to her stomach where their child was now dying.
"Felicity." He cried her name and closed his eyes.
His eyes flew open and when they did there was no body and his back was pressed to a soft mattress. He stared up at the familiar ceiling fan that was circling slowly.
This was their bedroom. His and Felicity's. A warm back was pressed to his stomach. He didn't want to wake her but he needed the verification that she was alive. His hand trembled as he reached for her shoulder and turned her towards him. She was alive, her face was flushed from sleep and her lips were pursed and pink, breath leaving them in a an even rhythm. He lets out a heavy gasp at the sight of her alive and breathing.
Suddenly blood seeps through his gray shirt she's wearing right over her heart and her eyes fly open. Her face morphs into another, blonde hair into black, blue eyes into brown. When she opens her mouth to speak the voice what comes out is a mixture of Felicity and Shado.
"You killed us!" They said.
He screamed and fell out of the bed onto the floor.
This time when he woke up he's sweaty and panting. He's in his bed, Felicity is curled against his body and her soft snores echoed through the quiet room. The smooth skin of her swollen stomach where her shirt has ridden up is pressed against his side. He rest his head against the pillow again and let's out a shaky breath as he squeezes her closer to him. Her chest expands against his hand assuring him that she is alive, her heart beats against him and he knows this is real. This isn't a dream. His heart is still pounding and even though it wasn't real grief still clings to him. He kisses her forehead and slips from the bed and pulls on his cargo pants, a tee shirt and a jacket.
He knows what he needs to do to keep his family safe.
It will come with a price but he's more than willing to pay it.
He glanced back at her sleeping form that has now curled around his pillow in his absence as he picks up his phone and calls John. He answers groggily.
"I need you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"Watch Felicity, there's something I have to do."
>>-------->
After his meeting with the Bratva he returned home in the early morning dawn. The house is dark as he moved towards the bedroom intending to slip back into bed.
A light flicks on in in the living room and glints off Felicity blonde hair where she is sitting on the couch wrapped in a comforter.
"I woke up and you were gone." She stands from the couch wrapping the blanket around herself tighter.
"The normal question for a situation like this would be to ask you where you were...but I don't have too. I pinged your phone, not in a stalkerish way, I just needed to know you were safe, especially with Slade out there." She stepped toward him. "I was worried. I saw John's car out front and it was like freshman year all over again but this time it was worse, I had a missing husband." He stepped forward and held out his arms, she walked willingly and wrapped the blanket around them cocooning them both in each others warmth.
"I had something I had to do." She nodded against his chest. "I'm sorry I worried you."
She pulled back a little. "I don't want to be the wife who has to know where her husband is every second, but please Oliver, next time at least tell me your leaving. When I woke up alone I thought you had left, gone off to fight Slade and that you didn't even tell me you were leaving. I was afraid something had happened or-"
"Shh shh...it's okay. I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again." She took a deep breath and let it out. He looked into her eyes and pain shot through his chest at the memory of the light leaving them, of wrapping her broken body in his arms. She tilted her head, so perceptive of his inner thoughts.
"Oliver what's wrong?" Her body pressed against his through layers of material and all he wanted in that moment was for it to be gone, to feel her body warm skin on skin, feel her move against him, see her face flush proving she was in fact alive. He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately. He knew she could taste it all, guilt, loss, fear, anger, determination. A moment later they parted. "What do you need?" She whispered.
He ran his hands through her hair and down the the column of her neck where Slade's sword had sliced the skin. "I just need to feel you." She let go off the comforter and it fell to the floor, her arms wrapped around his neck and his warm hand pressed into her back. She clenched his shirt in her hand and pulled him to her, her lips grazing over his tantalizingly. He pulled her tight against him, her belly pressed to his front and he placed one of his palms there.
Her hands reached under his shirt and moved over his back and shoulders and down until they reached the hem of his shirt, she tugged it up and over his head. Then her lips were back on his, heat was pouring from her body. He pushed her backwards until he found a wall and pressed her against it his his head tilting to deepen the kiss. She opened to him and made a noise of pleasure. His lips left hers and trailed down her neck, her skin smelled like her body wash, floral and light. His lips moved to her collar bone and at her gasp he whipped the gray t shirt over her head and threw it to the floor. He carried her to the bed. After that his hands never left her body, not once, he was always touching her, her hands, her face, her arms, her stomach, he rib cage. With every kiss he assured himself a little more that she was there, she was really his, that this all wasn't a dream he was going to wake from and find her gone and cold in his arms.
Every time she moved against him he pulled her closer. This was another one of those times that it was slow. Every moment being relished, remembered. It wasn't about who was in control, they both gave equally. When she was in his arms it was momentary oblivion. Nothing else mattered but her. They went further and further until there was nothing left to give and they lay spent in each others arms, legs tangled together, arms holding tight to each others body.
If he had found Felicity Smoak a long time ago there wouldn't have been other women. He was reminded again of what he had missed out for so long. He didn't think it was possible to feel so much from connecting with another body. That a simple touch or brush of fingers could make his whole body burst into flames, that just the feel of her beneath him could make him forget every bad thing that had ever happened to him. She took him deeper, made him look at everything he had every thought differently. That's why he couldn't lose her. He had made a promise to protect her and their child. He was going to keep it and he would do anything it took. Even if it meant walking away from her. Something he promised he would never do.
He leaned in to kiss her again. One last time. It was goodbye.
But he should have known better than to think it would be easy.
>>------->
She could taste it in his kiss. Resignation, determination, self loathing, self sacrificing, desire, loss, and ultimately utter certainty about what he's about to do. It scares her. Tears pool in her eyes. He pulls back and runs his hands over her face and wipes her tears.
"Oliver?" She asked. His face is broken. But there's steel in his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"No, you promised."
"And it's because of that promise that I'm doing what I'm doing."
"You can't."
"I have to. The last time I faced Slade. I chose to kill him, I didn't have anything to lose. Nothing to change my decisions. Now I have a family and if you think that for a second I wouldn't die for you.."
"Oliver, please...." He wrapped her in his arms.
"I love you," he whispered and she feels wetness against her forehead probably from his tears, but she could never confirm it because he climbs from the bed, his back to her and pulls on his pants and shirt and strides away leaving her sitting there alone, him taking her heart with him.
It only takes five seconds of him being gone for her to go into action. Her heart shattered in her chest as she pulled on a pair of loose pants and ran through the living room grabbing her shirt off the floor and tugging it on as she ran out the front door not caring what the neighbors thought.
"Oliver!" She yelled as was walking with determined steps to his motorcycle on the curb. He stopped and turned to him, his face twisting in pain. She ran to him her feet sinking into grass as she cut the corner of the sidewalk. She stopped in front of him, her eyes blazing and her hair wild. She was sure she looked a sight but she didn't care.
"You don't get to leave me. Not ever. You will not walk out on me and you will not walk out on our child. You made a promise to protect us, you made a promise to love me and never leave me yet that's what your doing right now!
"I can't los-"
"I can't lose you! What about me huh? Did you ever stop to think about how I feel? I know you're not big on sharing your feelings but when you put this ring on my finger you made a commitment. That means talking to me. If you want to leave for another reason then leave, just don't claim its to keep me from being hurt, you said you would never hurt me, but that's what your doing. You had your final hurrah and then you left me naked in bed to go on your self sacrificing suicide mission. Well let me tell you something, the days of making those decisions by yourself are long gone. I guess I need to teach you the definition of partners because you're not exactly acting like one. Together Oliver. That's what we promised."
He took a shaky breath, tears gathering in his eyes. "You died Felicity."
That gave her pause for only a second before she moved forward, she wanted him to be within her grasp. She was terrified he would jump on his bike leaving her standing there.
"One day Oliver....I'm going to die. It may be a illness, a accident or old age, but I will die. But Oliver I don't want to die without really living and living means being with you. No matter what, in sickness and his health and in the good times and the bad. It just so happens that we're in that bad time right now."
Tears leaked from her eyes and onto her cheeks.
"We'll get through this like we do everything. You can't run." She stepped forward her hand moving over his heart. "Please don't run. Because I'll just chase after you and it's hard to run when your pregnant and wearing heels." His lips barely ticked but she saw it and grabbed a fistful of his shirt and rose on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips.
"So...do I need to put on my Nike's or are you coming back to bed?" He stared at her for a moment, his eyes filled with desire, to stay with her, to protect her but also determination. She pulled him to her tighter and lifted his left hand in front of his face. "Don't make me take this back." He kissed her hard then and dropped his bike helmet in favor of holding her.
"You're right I'm sorry. You see? This is why I need you, I don't think clearly without you."
"Let that be a lesson to you then. When you think something is the right thing to do, ask the wife first." He chuckled.
"There's always another way Oliver...you just have to be strong enough to look for it." He took a deep breath and she tilted her head back towards the house. "Lets go back inside. We're giving the neighbors quite a show and that's saying something since I already flashed them this morning."
His lips lifted then settled back into a frown as he ran his hands down her arms. "Felicity I'm not sure there is another way this time."
"It's okay to be scared-"
"I'm not scared of what Slade will do to me, I'm terrified of what I'll do to myself." His gaze moved to something behind her. "I will do whatever it takes to save my family. Whatever...even if it means killing him. This time I'll make sure he's dead."
"Olive-"
"C'mon, let's go inside, I'm sure you're hungry.
She let him lead her inside where she settled at the counter as he made her scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. She couldn't help but notice that he didn't eat anything.
"Milk? Really?" She asked as he sat the glass in front of her.
"The calcium is good for you. Plus you've been having heartburn a lot. I don't think orange juice is the best option." He grabbed a book and settled on the couch. She knew better than to think he was actually reading. She drained her milk glass and set it in the sink before she joined him on the couch.
"Oliver?"
"Hmm..," he answered looking at the open pages.
"You're going to be a really good Dad," she said softly. He paused and looked up at her. He sat the book on the coffee table and turned to her.
"How do you know?"
"Because if you show our baby a fraction of the love you've shown me, then they're going to be a really lucky to have you."
"I've made so many bad choices.."
"I think that's our jobs as parents, we make the mistakes so our children don't have too, but Oliver our child will make mistakes, it's part of life, it will be up to him or her to learn from them."
"What if I fail? What if I'm a horrible father?"
"Oliver, did you love your Dad?" He looked at her confused.
"Of course."
"Your Father made a lot of bad decisions, but you still loved him. So don't you think if you made a mistake our child would still love you?" He took her hand and held it between them. "My mom, well... she's my mom but the point is even though I don't exactly like the way she lives her life that doesn't mean that I don't love her." She squeezed his hand. "Family is precious Oliver. We never give up on them, no matter what." She looked into his eyes. "Do you understand?"
"Yes." She smiled at him softly.
"Have I told you I loved you today?"
"Hmm...I think so but I'm not one hundred percent sure." He smiled his special smile that was only reserved for her.
"Well in that case, I better say it again." He leans forward, his forehead pressed to hers. "I love you."
She didn't know what was going to happen next, she didn't even know if they would make it through the next test of their life but she had to have faith that they would.
She believed in him.
Now he just needed to believe in himself.
>>------>
The days that passed were quiet ones. Digg had left to help Lyla and he wasn't going on patrol. He couldn't imagine leaving Felicity, even in the safety of the foundry, one thing he learned is that nothing was ever as safe as you needed it. He kept trying to get Felicity to move into the mansion, he said it had better security but she told him that if Slade wanted to kill her he would, a few security guards in the way wouldn't stop him.
"I started tracing all the money Slade gave to your mom, it was routed through a series off shore accounts, none of which link back to him. I'm scanning credit card transactions and rental car agreements now. He has to get around somehow."
That had made a knot build in his throat and he couldn't speak. She got up and grazed her fingers against his arm as she moved from the room claiming she needed a bathroom break.
Sara walked over to Felicity's chair and sat down. "You look tired," she said. "When was the last time you actually slept?"
"Right before I found out that Slade Wilson was still alive."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He just looked at her. "I get it, you know? You're scared, you have a family to protect."
"You're family too Sara, that's why you need to leave. You and your family are in danger."
"This started because of me...I'm not going anywhere. We're a team, all of us, and we will fight him together." He shook his head.
"You're as stubborn as Felicity."
"Well we have to be when we work with you. Poor Felicity how does she live with you?"
"For some reason she loves me." Sara smiled. "You know I have to kill him Sara." She stared up at him, smile gone. "He massed produced the Miracuru serum, he showed up at my Mothers house, he threatened my family... If he want's a fight, I'll give him one and this time when I kill him I'm going to make sure he stays dead. Even if it means burning his body."
Felicity returned to the room cutting off further conversation. "Making a human is hard. I have to pee every ten minutes."
Sara smiled and turned her head in his direction, she nodded once stiffly.
He understood.
She was willing to do whatever it took to make sure her family and his were safe.
At that moment they both gave another piece of their soul to the devil.