Proclaimed thoughts invaded my mind preventing sleep for me any further, although this has been a repetitive pattern throughout this week that I wish I could control. Bags have claimed their home under both my lash lines causing me to look absolutely horrid to the human eye. Tornadoes look as though they have left trails on my scalp, not to mention my brown hair is lacking the proper hygiene and hair products it needs.
"Hey, Kian. The hospital just called, you need to go in to fill out more paperwork."
I nodded profoundly at the boy standing in my doorway before persistently sitting up in my bed and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, but I still felt tired. Nothing has seemed to work at all these past weeks, I have had the worst luck possible.
"And you should really tweet out or post a video of some sort to your followers, everyone is worried sick... They think you have died or some shit and no one knows about the Ryley thing either, some are suspicious about that too. She had supporters too, Kian. Don't you think they have the right to know, just in case she--"
"Don't say it, don't. She is a fighter, my fighter and she promised to continue fighting until she can't no longer, it's apparent that she's doing exactly that. She hasn't given up, I haven't given up, so why have you?" I spluttered, grabbing a clean shirt from my closet, heaving it over my head and pushing past Jc in the doorway before clutching onto the keys in my hand while sprinting out to my car. I slapped the steering wheel in order to relieve my anger toward Jc, but as much as I hate to admit it, he's right. The people who have supported me for as long as I can remember do have the right to know what is going on, because I am a social media person and I share every aspect of my life on it. I patted my pockets and pulled out my phone, unlocking it before opening up my camera roll and pressing the record button.
"Hey guys, it's... Kian. I have been away from social media for awhile, I don't uh know if you've noticed at all, but it has uh it's been a few weeks. Many of you are probably worried about me, and sadly I am too. There uh... God I'm crying and I haven't even said it yet, I've been a mess this week and last week, no doubt about that... That's basically why I've stayed away from Twitter and YouTube and stuff like that, I hate being negative around you guys because I know so many of you are hurting already, and now I know exactly how you guys feel. I'm sorry you have to see me like this, no one should see their whatever I am to you cry, but I'm an emotional wreck and the tears just spilled. Okay, uh I've been kind of hesitating to announce this, but I know I h-have to. Y-You all know Ryley, my best friend, right? Hopefully you do because she's practically been one of the most important people in my life so far, beside my family and you guys, uh... I really don't know how to say this." I paused to wipe the tears from my cheeks, but there were oncoming tears brimming my eyes, "R-Ryley she... she, god this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Ryley, she is currently in the hos... hospital, she's in a c-coma and I'm heading over there right now to fill out some more paper work... There are probably so many questions going through your guys' minds, and I'll answer them later, I promise... but I really have to head over there. I'm so sorry for being absent and worrying you guys, I'll uh keep you updated and stuff, I love you and I'll see you soon and I promise there will be no tears in my eyes next time." I forced a smile upon my face before ending the recording and composing a tweet with the video attached.
@KianLawley: Sorry for the lack of tweets lately , I've had a huge load of stress put on me recently , and I owe you guys an explanation so here it is .
Once the tweet had sent out, I started my car and rested my hand on the passenger seat while backing out of the driveway. Music softly blasted through the speakers to get my mind off the negative thoughts that were pouring in currently, although it didn't help that Spotify decided to play the one Never Shout Never song that brought back the most memories, Bigcitydreams. Nonetheless, I hummed along to the melody as if the tears weren't threatening to spill from my eyes. My phone was vibrating off the hook, and I hadn't checked any of the notifications once before shutting down the device, along with taking the keys out of the ignition and walking into the hospital.
"Excuse me ma'am, I'm here to do some paperwork for my best... my best fiancée." I addressed toward the lady at the check in desk. She eyed me suspiciously, possibly because of my hideous save.
(He has to say fiancée because only family members or her significant other can see her in the hospital)
"Right... You may sit over in the waiting area while you fill out everything." She asserted, turning back to her computer work after handing me a pen and some paperwork attached to a clipboard.
"Why do they even need to know her birthday?" I acknowledged quietly to myself once eyeing all the lines I needed to occupy with information about my Ryley. Despite the contrary, I filled out everything as hurriedly as I could so I was able to stop by her room before visiting hours were over.
"Here's the finished paperwork, what floor is the ICU on?" I asked politely.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She snapped, typing something on her computer.
"Yes, actually that is why I asked. I would like to see my gorgeous fiancée before visiting hours are over, if you may."
"Follow the signs, go down there and to your left there will be signs directing you to any unit in the hospital, including the intensive care unit which is on the first floor, so no elevator or stair use will be necessary."
I nodded along, "Thank you so much."
I wandered down the left wing before the fairly well described signs jumped into my sight of vision. I turned right quickly and pushed the heavy double doors in before the familiar commotion of the unit came into view. There were many injured people sitting in the waiting area, along with many gurneys flooding through the halls. Many noises intruded my ears and none were as pleasant as the other. I took a deep breath, being here has always been hard for me, but nevertheless I headed over to the receptionist desk.
"Excuse me, I'm here to see my fiancée Ryley McDonough."
The pleasant looking lady lifted her head up from the computer, in which everyone around here seemed to use, and a smile found her lips after she recognized my face for that didn't surprise me at all, I use to frequently visit Ryley up until a few days ago.
"Kian, I haven't seen you around for awhile, how're ya holding up?"
"It's been hard, but who wouldn't this be hard on?"
"You're exactly correct, well she's definitely holding up there actually I think her nurse was meaning to talk to you, but that can wait until after you see her."
"Did he mention why he needed to talk to me? Is everything okay?"
"Oh yeah, sweety she's perfectly fine, go see her okay? I'll call Patrick over in a few minutes after you're done visiting, okay? Don't worry about a single thing."
"Thank you Angela, thank you so much." I called after her, heading over to the room she is in.
I'm not sure what I had expected to see once walking into the area they were keeping Ryley, but my hands were shaking as soon as my eyes fell on the unconscious girl laying on the vexatious looking mattress. Tubes invaded every aspect of her body, except for the one down her throat that had been removed which confused me a bit.
I grasped her hand tightly, "Hey Ryley, it's Kian... Sorry I haven't made it in for a few days, I'm not going to lie to you, I've had a hard time coping with everything. There's so much I need to catch you up on though, so where do I start? Well... Actually there's not much that has gone on, only something from this morning. By Jc's command, I notified yours and my supporters about everything, and I haven't checked their replies to the situation since posting the quick video before heading over here. I'll check the responses before bed tonight and tell you about it sometime tomorrow, sound good? Okay, I have to go see your nurse, Patrick... Apparently he needed to talk to me? Hope you haven't given him too much trouble." I kissed her forehead gently before letting go of her hand, "I've missed your cuddles and I love you more than anything, keep remembering that... Okay?"
Keeping my head held high with an exceptional smile planted firmly on my lips, I rushed out to the reception desk to see the same grub dressed human from the past two weeks talking to the familiar peppy Angela.
"And here he is now." She said, sending me a reassuring smile before turning back to her computer and continuing to type harshly on the keyboard.
"Mr. Lawley?"
"Yes, that's me sir."
"Would you like to step over here, please? There is some bad news, but followed with some amazingly great news to ease up the nerves. Ryley has been in her coma for a little under two weeks now, which isn't necessarily good in her case. She lost a fair amount of blood, but that shouldn't have caused her brain to shut down, it's fairly weird since none of the other nurses have seen anything like it, especially since she's perfectly healthy and has no physical brain damage, including things like a tumor or any form of cancer. No one must have informed you of this at her last hospital, but her Glasgow Coma Scale score was a three, so she was likely to die given the reports and it's not normal for her to be under for this long given the circumstances, but thankfully we were able to inject some medication in the IV in her arm which had her opening her eyes in know time. Most, if not all, comatose patients are awake and alert for only a few minutes when first waking up, but she will gradually stay awake for longer and longer periods until she's able to fully process her surroundings. We will inform you of any other information if something happens, but that is all for today, thank you for coming out to do her paperwork."
"It was my pleasure, thank you for informing me of the recently discovered news involving my lovely fiancée, I dearly appreciate it."
"Anytime, Mr. Lawley."
I nodded and shook Patrick's hand firmly before heading out to my car where a smile had found my lips and tears were streaming down my cheeks, but for once they were full of pure joy for my fighter would be fully conscious by the end of the week and she would be able to respond to my sentences instead of laying on her mattress so lifeless. Once turning the car and my phone back on, the aux chord was soon plugged into the headphone jack of my electronic device before I had decided to open the Twitter app, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the amount of support I was receiving.
@KianLawley: Thank you guys for all the support ☺️
The sudden burst of happiness was enough energy for the rest of the week, and I was so insanely glad that Ryley was going to be okay after all. The weeks have gone by with uncertainty running through my veins, but all the fighting she is doing has definitely paid off for her. Hope thrashed about my body as I checked my texts, which was long overdue anyway.
From Jenn McAllister:
Hey, how are you holding up?
To Jenn McAllister:
I'm a bit better after visiting Ryley at the hospital, but it's still kind of sickening seeing all those tubes attached to her, just be glad you haven't seen something as horrific as that.
From Ricky Dillon:
I'm very proud of you Keen, that must have taken a lot of courage to post that video. I hope you're doing okay, you didn't look in too good of shape after posting that vid.
To Ricky Dillon:
Thanks Rickle, it means a lot to me that you have taken the time out of your day to worry about me, it shows that you care. I'm okay though, I'm at rock bottom, can only go up from here ☺️
From Jc Caylen:
The fans thank you for posting that video dood, insanely proud of you.
I rolled my eyes, deciding silently to myself that was enough inbox checking for now, knowing Jc could wait for a reply until I have gotten home. He hasn't been the best person toward me throughout this week, I haven't quite concluded whether I was going to be mad at him or not. Sure, it is a fairly childish move to give him the cold shoulder, but he deserves it after saying the things he did.
Dare4distance played quietly through the speakers during the whole ride home, and I couldn't help but sing along to the upbeat song by Never Shout Never. They have been the one band that I have always turned to when I wanted to listen to music, their fairly simplistic melodies turning my bad mood swing into a happy one.
"I'm home!" I shouted from the doorway of the house. I dropped my keys on the nearby island in the kitchen before grabbing a quick snack out of the cupboard for I haven't had food in a few days and my stomach was practically eating itself.
"Hello?" I called out once more, hoping for a response. They must have gone out to dinner while I was at the hospital, they've been doing that a lot recently. I gripped the bag of chips in my hand and carried them up to my room before I closed the door behind me and body slammed onto my comfortable bed, deciding now was as perfect as a time than any other to do a following spree on my Twitter. I smirked, grabbing the laptop from under my pillow and opening it up, not long before composing a tweet.
@KianLawley: LETS GO !! #KianFollowSpree
The rest of my night was spent retweeting, following and messaging the people who have supported me throughout everything, and the smile on my face could not be contained. It amazed me beyond belief that messaging one person could turn their frown into a smile, and I love being able to make people happy especially since I know how hard it is to constantly feel sad all the time.
My world was flipped upside down and now it has slowly turned back around by the one and only fighter, Ryley McDonough. The past nights have been filled with tears, anger and fear, but knowing I can cuddle and hold her hand again excites me beyond belief. I've endured the worst possible, I am fully prepared to go up from here not letting the things people say discourage me because if I let irrelevant things get in the way of how I live my life, the outcome won't be as great as it should have been all along.