Mandy's pov
Right now its September so that means school, let me give you the run down of what happened during the summer that you may have missed.
Okay so Sam finally asked Jessica out and so there happily dating, the boys went back to California where they live and let me tell you I cried a lot when Kian had to leave but I'm still not fully stable.
My dad did find out my mom was cheating so they got a divorce.
So right now its my second day of senior year and let me tell you I hate it. I got out of bed and went towards my closet and got out.
A pink and black sweater, denim high waisted shorts, a pair of black tights, combat boots, a red beanie that says weird backwards.
I set that on my bed I went into the shower and washed my body and hair, I got out dried off and got dressed, I then blow dried my hair and straightened my hair I then put on my beanie I went to my bed side table and got my triple arrow ring and side cross necklace.
My hair is actually a dark blue now.
I then went downstairs but when I was about to go on the last step I remembered I forgot to do my makeup I put on eyeliner mascara and e.o.s.
I grabbed my light brown leather bag and walked out the door my dad was at work so we had a babysitter getting my sister ready.
After the divorce my dad has been working more at the grocery store so I barley see him he works twelve hour shifts.When I got to school I met my friends in our spot in the morning.
I have health first so I went there and my friends Dez and Jason and Sarah's boyfriend Jacob were in my class, the class was so easy and fun.
"So I slipped on this rock and I caught my self on this pole and I was screaming my guts out and my family is just sitting there letting me go to my death." Jason said telling a story of where he almost died
"I don't think I have a near death experience to be honest." I shrug
"I want some pop" Dez whined
" I don;t like pop." I say
"You don't like anything do you?" He said
"No but I like my boyfriend though."
I went to second hour, hate that. Went to third, despise that. I just had my headphone in all of third. I went to Math next blasting my music in my headphones and then turning down my spirit when I enter class.
"I can hear you're music all the way down the hall" My friend Connor said as I grab my calculator
(NOT FRANTA)
When class is over I walk with my friends Hailey and Khloe after class to lunch but we stop at their lockers before.
"Mandy come here." Mr. Garcia said "Yes?" I ask
Mr.Garcia is the security guard here, he is also Sarah's god father, he is also my champion for this program at school to get your grades up by bribing you with two hundred dollars. "So I talked to your english teacher and she said she will let you re-do that quiz. Hopefully that gets your grade up." He says
"Okay thanks." I say and walk away past my other friends Devin and Tanner
I sat down in my seat and got my water bottle out "Like she is a walking std." Marisa said "Who are we talking about now?" I ask taking a sip "Vivian" She answered "great" I mumbled
"So Jess how are you and Sam doing?" I ask "were doing really good he texts me good morning and good night, he asks how I'm doing and he is really sweet and nice and I just miss him sometimes face time isn't enough." she confessed
I nodded agreeing "So Mandy how are you and Kian?" Carli asked " Good I guess we haven't really talked to much I think he is still upset that I declined my offer for Julliard but its what ever." I shrugged
"Yeah I'm pretty pissed at you too, Like that's a huge deal and you just declined just like that." Mel said
Yeah you heard me right I was accepted to Julliard but there all the way in New York across the country from California. But I turned them down because I didn't want to be away from Kian but also because my depression became way worse ever since he left and my parents official divorce.
I still remember the argument like it was yesterday
F l a s h B a c k
Yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying I got accepted to Julliard the most sophisticated dance school in the country. When I read it I was crying happy and sad tears.
Tears of happiness because this is a huge deal that only a hand full of people get to accomplish. Tears of sadness because if I go there I would have to leave my family to soon, I would miss my friends, family, graduation and I don't want to be even more miles apart from Kian it just breaks my heart
I got jumped out of my thinking by a Skype call from Kian on my Mac "Hey baby I miss you." He says "I miss you too babe." I said staring into his brown eyes through a computer screen not in person.
" Babe you okay? You looked like you were crying." He asks worried "Yeah I'm fine so what up with you?" I am going to tell him about it but I don't know if in ready right now. "Nothing really I just got done shooting a video for Kian and Jc, so that's why I'm in soaking wet clothes" He says I laugh
Yes I did find out about his YouTube channel when I was watching a dance video it showed up in the recommendations and I wasn't angry ,shocked but not angry.
"You should go change and get warm then I can wait." I smiled if you couldn't tell I'm stalling and stalling badly right now. "Okay be right back" he got up from his chair and then came back in Adidas pants and a sweater.
"So what's up with you anything exciting happening over there?" Yes but I don't want to tell you "No" I hesitated damn it he can tell when I lie " Babes are you telling me the truth?" He asks " Okay fine you caught me" I sighed
"Okay so you know how there were scouts at my dance recital back in the summer." He nodded "Well one of the was for Julliard and yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying I got in " I started crying .... Not happy tears.
"Babe that's fantastic but why are you crying?" He has a concerned look on his face "Because I'm not gonna go." I looked down at my hands crying " Why this is an opportunity of a lifetime and you're gonna just pass it up!" He sorta yelled
"It's because ever since you left , my parents official divorce, and just everything I became more depressed and I don't think I can handle this emotionally or physically, Kian I stopped eating, I stopped talking to certain people now, I barely see my dad I just feel like everyone is pushing my away or they don't care and also I don't want to be even more far away from you I have already been through enough" I cried uncontrollably
"Babe I'm sorry I yelled at you. I should be thinking of you and how it's affecting you and not the future. I should be thinking of you right now. I'm sorry baby I gotta go but I love you." "I-" he turned down the chat before I finished
I shut my laptop hardly and got out of my bed and went to my desk drawer and got out a little film container filled with my silver friends. I got one out and pressed it to my skin where all my old scars are visible, slightly visible or gone all together.
"One for my parents divorce
One for my dad not caring
One for my friends not talking to me latley
One for being me
One for Kian being upset at me
One for being a worthless piece of garbage
One for making Kian mad
One for a relationship I might not have anymore.
8 pure lines of blood on my arms . ahhh *breathes out shaky breathe*
E N D O F F L A S H B A C K