Song: New Day by Danny Gokey
Chris snuck back into Lynn's apartment, snuggling up to her. He knew this was going to be the last time he may get to hold her like this for a few weeks. She had gotten so comfortable with them, and herself, she slept in the nude like him. He knew he'd wake in the morning with a massive hard on, but he didn't care. He needed the skin-to-skin contact.
He hadn't said, but he was super worried about her surgery. Changbin's cousin had explained all the ins and outs. There were so many things that could happen. He couldn't dwell on them, though it was hard not to. He had to be strong. For her, for Don and Tony and for his other lovers. Though none had said anything, he could tell the days leading up, they were worried too.
Lynn woke up the next morning to a sleeping Chris. Trying to not wake him, she was surprised when his alarm went off. She'd been pleasantly surprised when Chris had said he was taking her and staying until she was taken to her room. This made Lynn very happy and more at peace with the day.
I called all the guys, letting them know we were leaving. I was surprised to see them all outside their doors, waiting to give hugs and kisses to Lynn before she left. My heart was full to bursting, at the words of affirmation and love they each were giving her. And then they did the same to me. I was not expecting this and it nearly made me tear up. Seungmin was the last, holding his phone out for Hyunjin to give us his love as well. As he hung up, Seungmin grabbed me, pulling me close.
"It's ok old man, she's got this. It's good you are going to be with her. I can already tell it's giving her some peace. Keep us posted. OK?"
Squeezing him tight before letting him go, he places his palm on my check. I lean into his hand, as he caresses my cheek. He isn't always the most demonstrative, so I love every touch he gives.
"Thank you, Minnie. I needed your touch to ground me." I look around, making sure she isn't close by. "I'm freaking out a bit, so really, thank you."
"Hey, it's going to be ok. Lynn's so much stronger than any of us realize. And you, Christopher Bang Chan, mean so much to all of us. You are our strength. You always have been. Go with our sweet lady. Watch over her for us. I love you and her so very much."
He pulls me back in for a hug, pulling my head in to his neck. I take a moment, breathing him in before stepping back as Lynn walks up. I watch as Seungmin pulls her close, his eyes finding mine. I see the tears barely held in and know, he's just as scared. Reaching out, I touch his cheek and smile at him. As we leave, I feel the love from each of them pouring over me, calming me.
Having him there, before the surgery, kept her calm. Lynn felt at peace as she was called back, knowing she would see him when she awoke later.
Several hours later, waking up to him being there had calmed her so much. He had a quick video set up with all of the guys so they could wish her good night. He'd kissed her sweetly, before the meds had kicked in. He'd left that night, since he wasn't allowed to stay. He knew she was in good hands, but still.
As he got to his car, the tears came. He couldn't stop them. He'd finally called Changbin, because he knew he could calm him down. It helped enough to get him home, where Changbin had met him at his car.
Binnie led Chris to his room, afraid to let him spend the night alone. He had pulled a hot bath, slowly undressing Chris.
"Stay with me Bin, please."
"Chris, are you sure this is what you want?"
"Binnie, please hold me in the tub. I just want to feel your arms wrapped around me right now. I need to feel you grounding me. Please."
Changbin had given in, holding Chris till the water had begun to cool off. Drying each other off, they could feel the tension rising. That night, Changbin had made sweet love to his lover. Exhausted, the both fell into a deep sleep, holding each other.
Everyday Lynn had been in the hospital, at least one of the guys had come to sit with her. Though they couldn't stay for long, it helped put her at ease.
Now it's been three weeks since the surgery and Lynn is at the apartment stressing. Word had come in that their new apartments are ready, a month ahead of time. The guys are moving Lynn, Don and Tony in first, this weekend. Lynn, still being sore, is trying to take it easy, but her stress level has ratcheted up. She has no idea about furniture, or anything. The guys have assured her, they've taken care of all of it.
As they travel to the building, their new home, her heart hurts. Missing Hyunjin and so wishing he was here. She's so off into her own head space, she doesn't notice the looks of the guys around her.
Tony and Don had decided to ride with them in the van and keep noticing the looks. Finally, Don leans over to Jeongin. He whispers so his mom doesn't hear.
"I know you are up to something. If I'm guessing right, by the looks y'all have, a certain someone is going to meet us at the new place?"
He watches Jeongin's eyes widen, then he smiles big and shakes his head yes. He knew it! Mama is going to flip! He looks over to Tony, shaking his head yes and mouthing Hyunjin's name. Tony lets out a laugh, but mama is so out of it she doesn't even notice.
As they pull up, Lynn takes in the building. It's a 10-story building, with under-ground parking. They have security there as they pull in. Most of the floors have been finished, but 3 are still being renovated. As we enter, we stop inside the elevator. Me, Don and Tony have our hand print registered, so we can get to the top floor. That is the only way up. Even if taking the stairs, you must use your hand print once you are at the 10th floor door. There is a separate door that goes to the roof for repairs, etc... But that is secured as well and someone from security must unlock it.
I'm suddenly very tired. I noticed yesterday I had an area a bit sore, but I think it's because I pushed myself. I'd have my nurse check it out, but she is taking a week off due to a family emergency. I just need to get some good sleep. I notice Han look over at me.
"You ok beautiful?"
"I'm fine Hannie. I think just pushed myself too much the last couple days. I just need to get some good sleep, that's all."
"If you need anything, promise me you'll let me know. Ok?" He holds my chin in his hand, forcing me to look in his eyes. Nodding yes, I smile and lean in to kiss his nose.
As we get out of the elevator, Minho and Han lace their arms with mine. The elevator opens out to a beautiful large living room space. The view is perfect to see the setting sun. As we are walking toward the hall that leads to all the apartments, I'm told there is also a large kitchen so we can have dinner together as well. I really like that idea. Each of our apartments has kitchens, but I love the idea of a large one that makes it easier to gather in. Especially since I know the guys like to have friends over. All the Ateez guys now know what's going on and have made us promise they'll be the first ones over once we are settled.
They have set up a gym and I learn we have a pool on the roof that is covered and heated! As they show off their individual apartments, I can tell they've really thought about what they wanted and needed. Don and Tony are fascinated and cracking jokes with everyone.
When we get to our apartment, I notice both Minho and Han tense up. Looking over at Chris, he hesitates before opening the door. I notice everyone has gone quiet and I'm not entirely sure why. Chris turns toward me, holding his hand out. I put my hand in his as Han and Minho step back. He leads me to the door, before turning to look at me.
"Don't be mad please. We have a surprise for you in the apartment. Go ahead, open your door."
I glace back at the kids, to see them smiling and leaning against Jeongin. He's really taken to them and has truly become their big brother. It always makes my heart soar seeing them like that. I've caught them multiple times snuggled up with different members. Watching them with Han and Minho, while watching anime, always makes me giggle!
I open the door, stepping across the threshold to my new apartment. I take my shoes off in the entrance, then walk down the small hallway. I sense him before I get to the living room and freeze. He's here? My Jinnie is here? I bolt around the corner and see him standing in front of the sofa, looking at me with a worried look.
"You are here. Really here." The tears streaming down my face. "I've missed you so much. I didn't know when I would get to see you. I love you Hyunjin." I run, forgetting everything else, jumping into his arms.
"My love, please don't hurt yourself! You've got to be careful. I'm here baby. And I'm not going anyplace. I can never apologize enough for hurting you, but I will try. I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. You are my soulmate, the love I knew was missing, but thought I wouldn't find. The puzzle piece that finally completed us."
We hold each other as everyone else comes in, surrounding us in a giant hug. For the first time in weeks, I feel at peace. Hyunjin doesn't let go, when everyone else steps away. I'm ok with that. The anger I'd held is gone. After a few more sessions with Jennifer, I'd understood where my anger and hurt were coming from. It also made me understand him more. Right now, all I want is to hold him tight and never let go. Looking up at him, I know I've forgiven him. But I know it's going to take a while for him to forgive himself.
The guys take us on a grand tour of our new apartment. It's absolutely beautiful, with each room customized for us. I'm in complete shock. How did they do this? I can only guess my two had something to do with this.
"How did you guys know I loved Hello Kitty this much? And mushrooms?" Don looks back and forth between all the guys, in awe.
"Yo, same! I knew you know my love for video games, but this is too much!!!" Tony looks around his room in absolute surprise. They had bought him one of the gaming chair set ups. He was in absolute awe.
Ok, so maybe they didn't get input from them? Now, I genuinely intrigued about my room. Hyunjin, holding my hand, leads the way to the other side of the living room. Opening the door, I stand in shock looking in. A giant canopy bed, in black, stands against the back wall. This definitely not a normal sized bed. I look over at Hyunjin and he giggles.
"It was specially ordered by Chris. That way if you wanted several of us over, there is room."
My eyes widen at the thought. Damn them. I'm not there yet, but the thoughts are never far from my mind. The whole room is in muted teals and grays, of varying degrees. It is beautiful. Turning around I see all the guys have walked in, each grinning from ear to ear. Walking over to the en suite, I glance in and gasp. I have an over large, jacuzzi tub. Two people can easily fit in this thing. I can't wait to use it! The walk-in shower is massive with a rain fall feature in the middle and jet settings from the side. We are going to have so much fun in this room!
I walk out, giving them each a hug and kiss. As I pull back from Chris, he grabs my hand leading me to another door I hadn't even noticed. As we get to the door, he takes his hands and covers my eyes.
"Baby girl, this is another surprise from all of us. We wanted you to have a special place for your work. I hope you like it."
I hear the door open. Then feel someone take my hands. I immediately can tell it is Felix holding my hands. He leads me forward as Chris keeps his hands on my eyes. As they stop, Felix lets go, stepping somewhere to my side. I can tell from the shuffling of feet, that all the guys have stepped in to the room behind me. I hear a slight whirring sound.
"Open your eyes my love." Chris moves his hands away from my face. I gasp, bringing my hands to my mouth. Before me is beautiful windows, with a gorgeous dark green desk sitting in front of them. The whirring sound was the curtains opening. There is a massive oversized comfy chair in the corner along with a massive bean bag, with a small table between them. I see a coffee/tea bar with a mini fridge under it, all done to blend in perfectly with the décor.
Every wall is a bookshelf. All around is skulls and fake flowers. It's all dark green, blacks and deep browns with subtle orange and gold in the flowers. I'm in love! I squeal in delight, calling out for Don.
"Don, get in here. NOW!!!" All the guys bust up laughing. Both kids run in, with Don stopping in his tracks.
"OH MY GAWD, it's a library! And your office. Wait, is that a bean bag? YES!" Immediately he runs, jumping into the middle of the bean bag.
"Oh great, they're never leaving this room! What have you done? If you can't find them, just look in here. Because they will be in, here all the time. Y'all have created monsters. They are not just book worms, they are book dragons. You are in so much trouble." Tony just shakes his head and walks out another door that leads to the front room, laughing maniacally.
"Wait, I didn't even see that door! Mom, this is so fucking awesome!!!!"
The guys all bust up laughing again, leading me back into the bedroom. Han runs across the room, launching himself to land on the bed.
"Snuggle time! We haven't had it and this bed is big enough for all of us. Now get up here!"
We all run across to the bed. I decide to not leap as I felt another little pain at one of the incision sites. They are mostly healed. I've just had a couple stubborn sites. Brushing it off, I crawl up so I'm in the middle of Hyunjin and Jeongin. Laying my head on Hyunjin's shoulder, it doesn't take long before I fall asleep, feeling contented as I'm surround by my lovers.
Waking up, it looks like I'm not the only one that feel asleep. Hyunjin, Jeongin, Han, Felix and Changbin are all asleep around me. I can't help but giggle as I sit up and look at them. My loves are all here. Somehow, I am able to slide down the bed without waking any of them. Going to the bathroom, I take in my appearance. That nap, plus having Hyunjin home, did me a world of good. My eyes look brighter and the worried look is gone.
Walking out of my room into the living room, I spy the others chilling on the sofa. I can't believe this is my apartment! They had picked out a massive dark indigo blue sofa with matching oversized chairs. It's beautiful. There are accents of beautiful sunny yellow, white and some splashes of red everywhere. I love that each room is so different, reflecting my unique taste. I hadn't noticed the massive flower arrangement on the table of sunflowers and roses. Oh how I hope it is fake so that I always have it. I love real, but I want these flowers around all the time! If not, I'm ordering me one made like this.
They haven't noticed me yet, as they are on their phones. I sneak around the back of the sofa, then grab Chris. I can't stop the laughter as he screams and jumps, falling off the sofa. The other two had jumped and squealed as well, so it made it even better!
I come around, just as Chris sits back down in-between Minho and Seungmin. I plop down on Chris's lap, snuggling in to him. Minho reaches over, rubbing my neck as Seungmin takes my feet and starts rubbing them. They all laugh at the noises I start making.
"Ya know, a girl could get used to this. At least this woman could!" I grin from ear to ear. I'm happy, so very, very happy right now. But some reason, I feel this weird apprehension come over me. Like, something is fixing to happen.
Mentally shaking it off, I stand and go to kitchen. The three guys follow me and start pulling out containers for a late lunch. Walking to the office, I look over to Don sound asleep in the bean bag. I snap a quick pic, sending it to the family group chat. It's just too cute to not share! I set up my computer, checking that everything is well. So far, no one has picked up on where Hyunjin was or the fact the guys are moving. For that, I am so very thankful. I hear Tony start laughing as he walks out of his room, while I'm walking back to the kitchen.
"He is so not going to be happy with you for sharing that mom! But he looks so dang adorable!"
"I heard that you ass! And really mom? Did you really have to send it to all of them?" Guess he woke up!
The three on the sofa bust up laughing. Seungmin jumps up, running toward Don. "Bro, you looked adorable. What is it Lynn says? Oh yeah, suck it up buttercup!"
The look on Don's face has me losing my shit. I have to sit on down, because I'm laughing so hard. Don takes off, chasing Seungmin around the living room. Eventually Don pins Seungmin down on the sofa, going in for a tickle torture. Chris is laughing so hard, he fell in the floor. All the laughter woke the others up. Seungmin starts yelling mercy as they all walk out of the bedroom.
"What happened in here? You sound like your being tortured bro?" Jeongin watches as Don lets Seungmin up, both laughing.
This has been an amazing day so far. All his loves finally back in one place, in their own place. He's still in disbelief that this is their place. He had so much fun picking out stuff for Lynn, Don and Tony. Picking out new furniture for his place was amazing too. For the first time in a while, he feels safe to fully be himself. No one else living here but them. They don't have to worry about anyone walking in. No one was getting in, unless they let them in. Jeongin realizes he is truly happy, for what feels like the first time in a very long time. He looks around, smiling.
Minho notices the smile on Jeongin's face, echoing it back. He has a feeling he knows what he's thinking. There is a lightness, a happiness, in the air that hasn't been there for a long time. He feels it and guesses so does Jeongin. Walking over to him, he grabs him for a quick hug.
"You feel it too, don't you?" Jeongin nods and squeezes him back. "I have a feeling we all are. This is the beginning of a new us. And no one will take this from us ever again."
They stay hugging each other for a while, watching as the others gravitate toward each other. Eventually, everyone winds up on the sofa and chairs. The feeling is light, happy. Lynn doesn't understand why she has a weird feeling, but refuses to let it get in the way. This is a day of rejoicing. A day of new beginnings for all of them.
All of them decide to stay over at Lynn's apartment that night. Lynn and Hyunjin signal to Chris they need some alone time. They had talked to him earlier and he promised to keep everyone away. Walking in to the office, Lynn heads straight for the kettle. She needs some tea for the conversation she and Hyunjin are fixing to have. Hyunjin locked the doors, so that there would be no disturbances.
"Jinnie, you want an Americano or a tea? I'm having some peppermint tea myself."
"I'll take an Americano. I can tell your going to love having this setup in your office." I walk over to fix mine as Lynn fixes hers. I knew she wanted, no needed, to talk. I need to talk. I hurt her so damn bad and myself in the process. I'm not 100% better, but I'm getting there. One of the things I talked about with Jennifer, was that I needed to talk to Lynn. She agreed that this is something both of us need. I'm thankful Chris understood that we needed some alone time.
As I settle on the bean bag, Lynn brings her tea and sets in on the table. I expect her to sit in the chair, so I'm surprised when she flops down next to me on the bean bag. I reach over and pull her onto my lap. I need to hold her, desperately. When she wraps her arms around me, I can't help the tears. I was so afraid I'd lost her completely.
I feel him start to shake all over. I look up to see tears coursing down his face. Reaching up, I wipe them away.
"Jinnie, my love, why are you crying?"
"Because I thought I had lost you. I thought I'd lost myself. When Chris found me, I really thought that was it. I had just wanted the pain to go away. I had hurt you so bad and I was hurting so bad, it's like something in me snapped. I'm better now, but I still... I'm sorry Lynn!! So very sorry for what I said. So very sorry for hurting you the way I did. I thought if I wasn't here anymore, I couldn't hurt you or the others. Now I know that all I did was make the pain even more for everyone. I made it worse for myself."
I bury my face in her hair, pulling her as tight against me as I can. I don't ever want to be away from her again. The pain of being away from my soulmates was excruciating, but it had been needed. I was able to see things differently now. First and foremost, I was never stepping a foot back in JYPE. I was done.
"Jin, oh my dearest. I was...well...I was angry and hurt. I didn't understand what I had done. Not going to lie, I kinda wish I'd been the one to deck you. I was so very angry. I'm not 100% over the hurt. I'm getting there. And not all of it is directed toward you. When I found out why you were gone, I was pissed at Chris and the guys for not telling me. Baby, I had no idea you had gone that far Jin. I didn't find out till I read your letter. I could have lost you? Do you have any clue how that makes me feel? So fucking scared, angry and sad. But most of all, so damn pissed at the people that have done this to you. To all of you!!!! I want to kick all their asses and so much more."
"I know my little firecracker. Calm down." The look she gives me is deadly. "Ok, ok. Wrong choice of words to use. But it's going to be ok. I'm not going back to the company. I've already talked it out with the guys and they agreed. They don't want me back in that place any more than I want to be there. And, I'll be here with you. The guys have begun slowly moving their stuff over here so as not to raise any suspicions, with the help of Hanuel and Nari. My stuff has all been brought over. Or, at least the stuff I wanted to keep. The rest will be given away."
"So, you are here. Here, here? Oh my gawd Hyunjin! I'm so excited for you. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you all get out of that company. Do you think JYP himself knows what's going on?"
"No, we don't. I think he has been kept in the dark. I'm positive he is being tracked as well. That's why we have never been able to speak to him without others around. And we can't go to his house, because we are sure it's being monitored as well. We've got to figure out a way to get ahold of him. He's beginning to question why we haven't resigned. And Chris told me he wants to know what is going on with me. I put myself on a leave for now and he's not exactly happy about not being notified. I said it was for mental health issues, which is the truth. But the bitch has been snooping around trying to find information. The guys over heard her."
"Ok, one thing at a time. Right now, I just want to spend time with you. I missed you Hyunjin, really missed you. Promise me you will never do something like that again. Please. If you ever feel like that, you come to me. We will fight our demons together. Ok?"
Looking into his eyes, I lean forward, my lips barely grazing his. His hand snakes around the back of my head, bringing my lips crashing back against his. We lose track of time, making out, sipping our drinks, then making out some more. Eventually Chris comes in, telling us it's time for dinner. We both smile at each other, as he holds out his hands to help us up. Instead, we both pull him forward onto the bean bag with us.
With a yell, he falls forward, crashing into us both. We all start laughing. As he sits up, I lean forward to kiss him. It startles him when Hyunjin does the same. He pulls back looking at us both.
"What was that for?"
I look at him, reaching up to place my hand on his cheek. "Because you understood we needed time to talk. Because you took care of us both, even though you were hurting too. Thank you Chris. I know I was angry at you for not telling me about Jin and still a bit angry with you. But I understand your reasoning. Because you found him in time, he is here with us still. Thank you for loving us."
"How could I not love you both? I only wish I had stayed with you Jin, instead of letting you go. Maybe I could have stopped..."
"No Chris, don't go there. Things have happened for a reason. I needed to go to the hospital and get help. I've needed to get the help for a while. I knew it, but wouldn't do anything about it. Thank you for saving me, for loving me, for the new beginnings that is happening. Together, all of us, we will make it. I love you."
Reaching up, I pull Chris forward, bringing his lips to mine. I've missed my soulmates. I've missed them so much. Getting the time to talk to Lynn helped clear my heart. I feel Lynn lean toward us, kissing my neck. If I don't stop, we are going to get too hot and heavy. Bringing the kiss to an end is difficult, but necessary.
"Well, that was hot as fuck to watch. Ugh, I can't wait to be completely released!"
Chris leans back, laughing. "Oh trust me, us too Lynn. Soon my love, soon. Now, lets go join the others."