Daryl
The gate of Alexandria looms over us like my old man used to after he would beat us. He'd stand there and wait for us to challenge him again by simply moving. Once he saw complete surrender, he'd back down. The wall is impressive. But it's just a damn wall. They ain't even guardin' it properly. Aaron and Eric seem decent enough but they don't have the edge of someone who has lived on the road. The rest of the people here are probably the same. I steal a quick look at the tower. At least they got someone mannin' that.
My eyes fall on Beth beside me. She's carefully observin' jus' like the rest of us. A combo of nerves and hope are practically radiatin' off the group. Terminus is no doubt heavy on e'eryone's minds. Beth and Noah seem jittery too. The hellhole they escaped from was a doozy too from what Beth said. Comin' here was a big leap of faith for all of us. But if it is what Aaron says it is, then it could be a good thing.
We're almost to the gate when somethin' scurries in the grass right beside me. I immediately aim my bow, find my target and shoot. It's a damn possum. I pick it up by the tail as the gate screeches open. I turn in the direction of the noise. I see Beth lower her crossbow. She was ready. That's my girl. My eyes linger on her thin, lean frame. The sight she makes with that crossbow is enough to give a man a heart attack. She looks so damn good. The screechin' stops and my focus shifts to the man behind the gate. He is a curly haired prick who looks completely terrified. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
Better start makin' friends, baby brother.
"Brought dinner." I attempt to joke. I know I ain't funny but maybe it is 'nough to make nice with the guy.
Aaron and Eric push forward and call the prick, Nicholas. One look at him up close and I can tell he is squirrelly. Shifty. Not to be trusted. He has the balls to tell us go turn in our weapons but thankfully Aaron shuts that shit down fast. He takes us to meet the hefer in charge of the place. Deanna. She used to work in politics or some shit like that. I's only half listening when Aaron was explaining who she is. I's too focused my surroundings. The houses are big, new and fancy. Before, these houses would probably sell for more money than I and Merle could make in 20 years.
The residents gather outside and watch us walk up to Deanna's house. Their eyes on us make my skin crawl. The sound of the gate closing puts me even more on edge. I look back just in time to see it close completely. It feels like we're wild animals that were just caught in a trap. Caged in. With the Alexandrains watching us, it feels like we're monkeys on display at the zoo or somethin'. I hate it.
Beth nudges my elbow and I look down at her. Her face is thoughtful and her eyes are knowin'. She gives me a small, encouragin' smile. I do my best to return it. The group sits on Deanna's porch waitin' to be interviewed or audition or whatever. Rick goes first. Rather than focus on the people watching us, I focus on Beth. She calms me. She always has. I never realized it until we escaped the prison together. She has this way about her that jus' puts people at ease. She gets it from her Daddy. Herschel was always like that. Might be her carin' and kind nature that makes you want to lower all your defenses when around her. Whatever it is, I don't even think she is aware of her affect on others. Her affect on me.
The porch is small, so we're all on top of each other. I'm sandwiched between Glenn and Beth. I used to hate anyone touchin' me. Still do unless it's Beth. She's pressed up to my right side at the moment cleaning the dirt from under her nails. I should probably do the same. The ring on her finger glistens. I still can't believe she agreed to marry me, for real. I overheard Aaron say they got a church here. Maybe we could have a real weddin'. Merle would say I'm a pussy for even thinkin' about somethin' like that but I don't care. Beth deserves to have a weddin' day if she wants one. Hell, maybe I want one too. I'm realizin' lately I want a lot things I never used to. Marriage, for one. Another bein' kids. When Beth mentioned wantin' kids, I'd never thought about it before. And jus' like when I started thinkin' about bein' married to her and imaginin' what that would be like, I thought about what havin' kids with her would be like. The more I think about it. The more I want that kind of life. As I look around this place, I know we could have it here. Problem is... I don't know if I fit in here.
My interview with Deanna makes me feel even more out of place. Her house is nice and clean. I'm covered in dirt from head to toe, holdin' a dead possum by the tail. She was a damn congresswoman and I've never been what you call an upstandin' citizen. Before, I was nothin', nobody. After, I became somebody in the group. I matter and it is nice. Now that I have Beth and am more than somebody. I'm somebody's. I try to hold on to that as I look around. Deanna is smart and she is watchin' me very carefully as I pick through her glass marbles on the coffee table. She offers for me to sit down but I tell her I'm good. I'd just dirty up her nice couch.
Deanna nods, "Okay. We'll go ahead and start then. Why don't you tell me what you did before all this?"
Shit. I can't tell her the exact truth, so I stretch it a little. "I did a bunch'a odd jobs. Mainly as a mechanic or as a farm hand. But I did construction too." It's not a lie. Merle and I did work odd jobs. I didn't tell her I was fired from almost all those jobs because Merle would steal from anyone and everyone we worked for.
"How long have you been with Rick?" She inquires.
"Since the beginnin'." I say as I study a trinket on the far left bookcase, then continue pacin'.
"You were part of the group on the highway outside of Atlanta?" I hum hoping that's a good enough answer for her. "Well thanks to Glenn and a few others, I know some of your journey already. Do you care to fill in the gaps?" I stay silent but nod. "From Atlanta, you went to the CDC, then the Greene farm that is where you met Maggie and your fiance, Beth. Tell me, was it love at first sight?"
The question throws me off and I stop pacin'. I didn't expect to have to talk about my relationship with Beth. When I first met her, she was just Hershel's youngest daughter. She was too young to look at and she had a boyfriend anyways. Jailbait as Merle would say. I never thought much of her at the time. But then after months of being on the road together, seein' her step up with Little Asskicker, I couldn't help but notice her. She was (and is) beautiful, smart and kind. Then after the prison, I saw how tough she was, mentally and physically. After e'erything she still had hope, she still believed there are good people left in this world. She was a mystery to me. A light in my life that I ain't never seen before. I fell in love with her gradually, over time, not all at once. I shake my head. "Nah it wasn't like that."
Thankfully, Deanna doesn't push. She asks about the prison next, what I did there. I tell her a lil' bit of e'erything. "After the prison was attacked a second time you all were separated for a time, is that right?" I nod. "After the prison, what happened to you?"
"I found Beth and we got out together."
Deanna waits for me to say more but like always, my goal is to say as little as possible. She sighs. "I know it must be difficult for you to talk about... Noah told me that Beth was kidnapped and taken to Grady Memorial. Then you ended up at Terminus. But you need to give me something."
"Like what? It sounds like you know jus' 'bout e'erything." I spit back.
"Daryl, do you even want to be here?"
For myself. No. Yes. Maybe. Hell if I know. I just want to be where Beth is. "The boy and the baby, they deserve a roof... I guess." I take a step or two towards the window and stop. "Beth. The others. They deserve a place like this."
Deanna gives me a knowin' look. "You all deserve a place like this."
I appreciate what she's tryin' to do. She's telling me I belong here too. I don't reply. I jus' look down at my shoes. "If you live here, you get a job. I haven't figured out what yours will be but I will." I nod in acceptance. "I think that about covers it. Unless you have anything you would like to add?" I shake my head no, thankful this whole thing is over. "Okay. Why don't you tell Beth it is her turn?"
I make my way outside to the few that are left of the group to be interviewed. Sasha, Eugene, Abraham, Rosita and Beth all look up the moment I walk out the front door. "Evergreene."
I keep the front door propped open for her. Ain't a man supposed to open doors for their ladies or somethin' like that? Beth's big blue eyes meet mine. "How did it go?"
I shrug. "It went."
She nods looking down at her feet. When she looks back up, I can see her ready herself. "I'll find you after?"
I nod and she gives me an encouragin' smile. She lifts up onto her tiptoes to give me a kiss on the cheek. I am not sure whose benefit the kiss was for hers or mine. I know she's nervous and she knows I'm wound up tighter than a banjer string. I feel my ears burn and I try to ignore the fact that the others just saw the kiss as innocent as it maybe. I thought I'd hate PDA but it's kinda nice. It shows everyone I'm hers. That definitely doesn't suck.
She walks inside and I hear Deanna greet her. "You must be Beth. I'm Deanna Monroe."
I can almost see Beth's polite smile, the one that doesn't reach her eyes. "Yes I am. How was interviewing Daryl? Let me guess he talked your ear off."
I scoff as they laugh and I reach in my pocket to find a lighter and a cigarette. "Is he always like that?"
Beth doesn't miss a beat. "Pretty much."
I walk in the direction of our new house or houses that Aaron gave us, deciding not to snoop anymore. The houses are massive and again, I'm reminded I'm out of place here. I find Rick and Carol outside the two homes. Rick wasted no time getting cleaned up and shaven. He even gave himself a haircut from the looks of it.
"Daryl." Rick calls me over. I join the two other people I trust most in this world. "The perimeter is secure and everything seems okay. But... first they take our weapons and now they are splittin' us up."
"Yeah."
Rick glances at me and Carol, noddin'. "We'll all be staying in one house tonight."
Xx
Beth
My interview with Deanna goes as well as to be expected. She seems nice but you can definitely tell she is a calculated woman. I did my best to answer all her questions honestly. To earn trust, you got to give a little. I didn't share every single detail, just gave her the highlights and the need to know information. The questions about my relationship with Daryl were not surprising. I'm sure from the outside looking in we don't pair up. But that doesn't matter. I probably told her more than Daryl did. He hates talking and getting him to open up, especially to strangers, is downright impossible. I choose to tell her more so everyone in the community will know he is a good man and I genuinely love him. I basically told her that we saved each other. Also that he is a great man who is loved and admired by our group and was a celebrity at the prison by hunting and bringing in all those people. It was only natural that I fell in love with him. Who wouldn't?
To Deanna's credit she never seemed to be judging us for being together or making any assumptions about our relationship. She just seemed to be curious. She asked why we haven't tied the knot already and I told her, time. She doesn't need to know we just got engaged. She smiled and hinted that we could use the church in the community whenever we were ready. I didn't know how to respond so I just thanked her. And then the interview was over.
Maggie is at Aaron's talking to him outside as I walk toward our new home. She says bye to Aaron and runs over to me. She tells me Deanna gave her a job. She is going to be Deanna's right hand. I congratulate her and shake my head when she asks did I get a job too. I wonder what job Deanna will assign me? Our house comes into view and I can already see Daryl on the porch talking to Rick. Daryl is still caked in dirt but Rick is clean. His face is shaven and his hair is trimmed. He looks weird to me.
Unable to help myself, "Rick what did you do to your face?"
Rick looks at me curiously. "I shaved. Do you not like it?"
Before I can say a word, Maggie chimes in. "Don't listen to her, Rick. You look great. Bethy has always been partial to facial hair."
I shrug and joke. "What can I say it's the man's push-up bra."
Rick and Maggie laugh. Daryl doesn't react. Maggie slaps my fiance on the shoulder. "Word to the wise Dixon... Never shave your scruff."
He gives her a look I can't read, then at me. "Wasn't plannin' on it."
Maggie holds my hand and drags me inside to show me the house. I can't get over how big it is. It has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a study AND a basement with a full bathroom down there too. We settle in and talk about Alexandria, our interviews and our jobs. People leave occasionally to go clean up. Some go over to the other house and wash up there. When Rick comes inside so does Daryl but only for a second. He stays out on the porch for some reason. I haven't showered yet. I have been waiting for the showers to open up and it's looking like I'm now one of the only ones who hasn't cleaned up yet. Daryl hasn't either. When the showers at the other house open up, I gather us up some clothes and go out to the porch.
"Hey."
Daryl looks up at me from where he is sitting. "Hey."
He stays quiet. I know he feels weird here. I do too. To go from constantly having to watch your back to being fairly safe is jarring. Hoping to help and give him something else to focus on, I hold up the clothes in my hand. "Come on, let's go shower."
"Nah. You go ahead."
I tilt my head at him and try again. "You really going to make me go over there alone?"
I watch his expression turn to one of defeat and I know I have him now. "Fine." He grumbles at me. I just smile at him sweetly and start walking next door.
When we enter the home, I take note of how quiet it is. Everyone is clean except for us and Michonne and Carol who are taking a shower in the other house. We are all alone. I nod to the bathroom, "Go ahead. I'll keep watch while you clean up."
Daryl immediately refuses, "Nah you go."
I give him a pointed look. "We both know you are dirtier than me."
He narrows his eyes at me. He considers this for a second, then nods. I hand him his new clothes and he disappears into the bathroom. I sit with my back against the wall, next to the bathroom door and wait. I hear the shower turn on. I look around at this house. It's basically the same as the one we are staying in, just a tad smaller. He takes the world's quickest shower because not five minutes later, I hear the shower shut off. I get up and knock on the door after another minute. "I got you a toothbrush and toothpaste if you want it."
He opens the door and steam comes out. He takes the toothbrush and toothpaste from me. "Thanks." He stops and adds, "You can come in if you want. I'll only be a minute."
I follow him in the bathroom. My eyes linger on his clean frame. His clothes are in typical Daryl fashion. Jeans with a button up with the sleeves ripped off. His shirt is unbuttoned revealing his lean, toned chest and stomach. I look away when I feel myself beginning to blush. God he looks good. The bathroom has a double vanity so I decide to distract myself by brushing my teeth too. We brush our teeth in silence, glancing at each other occasionally.
When we are done, I take my hair down. He gives me a look I can't quite read, then goes to leave. But I stop him with a hand on his arm.
His blue eyes find mine and suddenly I'm nervous again. I push through and bring a hand to wrap around his neck to bring him down to me. My lips meet his and I sigh at how nice it feels. His hands grab my hips and pull me even closer as his tongue laps into my mouth. He tastes like mint with a hint of nicotine. He moves into me even more, making me have to walk backwards until my back is pressed against the vanity. I moan at the sweet pressure of his body against mine. He lifts me up and sits me down on the counter. I waste no time in opening my legs to allow him to be closer to me. When he does, I can feel his arousal through his jeans. It's his turn to moan. He pulls back after a few more minutes. We both are panting as he puts his forehead on mine. "We should stop." He says like it's the last thing he wants to do.
"I don't want to." I say before I can stop myself.
"Me neither but..." He puts a hand under my chin and gives me a simple peck. "Not like this."
I nod knowing he is right. My lips meet his once more. This kiss is a little longer than the last. I pull back and smile at him. Daryl smiles back and grabs his dirty clothes. "I'll be right outside. Enjoy the hot water."
I snort at him. "After that, I might need to make it cold."
He shakes his head at my joke and closes the door. I undress and turn on the water. Warm at first then I put it to the hottest temperature. I sigh. I've missed hot showers. My mind wanders to our make out session as I wash my hair. Not like this. Sex. I have imagined it with Daryl before. He is so much older. I know he is more experienced than I am. On the road, sex wasn't really an option. Not unless we found a place where we could be alone. But here... we could actually do it and have some privacy. The thought makes me excited. We said we would take it slow and I know Daryl will make sure we do, but it could happen sooner rather than later now that we are here. This place may not be so bad after all.
After dinner, Deanna stops by to check in on us. She is surprised to see we are all staying together in the living room. She says a few pleasantries and makes comments about finding us all jobs, then bids is good night. Once she leaves, everyone starts settling in for bed. I start making a place on the floor when Daryl mumbles something about needing a smoke. He disappears to the porch. He has been quiet all night. All during dinner and the whole time Deanna was here his leg was bouncing up and down with nervous energy. I know he's struggling being inside the walls. I am too. We all are, in our own way. It'll take time but we will get there.
I keep looking at the front door waiting for Daryl to walk back inside. But after about 40 minutes of waiting I can't take it anymore. I go out there to check on him. When I open the door and look on the porch, I find him sitting down in the exact spot he was earlier. "Hey."
I notice no cigarette in his hand. He is just sitting out here all alone. He watches me study him. Stoic as always. "Hey."
"You about to come inside?" I ask gently.
He shakes his head. "Nah, I'll probably just sleep out here."
Why he doesn't want to be in the house, I don't know. I can tell he is waiting for me to object, to try to coax him inside. I decide not to. "Okay." His eyebrows furrow at me. He clearly wasn't expecting me to be so accepting of his decision to sleep outside. I turn and go back in the house. Suddenly I regret not trying to get him to come inside. This will be the first night in forever I haven't slept with him near me. I sleep so much better when he is around. I just know I will toss and turn without him. The nightmares I can never remember will be worse and wake me and I won't be able to go back to sleep. I try and stop myself from spiraling. This is just another reminder of how much I need him.
He said he is sleeping outside... that doesn't mean I can't join him. I gather up a couple of blankets and pillows and go back outside. Daryl looks surprised to see me again. I don't say anything I just toss him a pillow and blanket and start to make my bed beside him on the porch. "What're you doin', Evergreene?"
"I'm sleeping out here too." I say as I fluff my pillow.
"Like hell you are. Get back inside." He is looking at me like I'm crazy which pisses me off.
I don't back down. "No. If you're going to be out here all night, then so am I."
He is frustrated with me. "Nah you ain't. Go back inside where it is more comfortable."
I sigh. "Yes. I am. You want to sleep out here, that's fine. But me? It's been a big day and I'm exhausted, I don't care about being comfortable, I just care about getting a good night's sleep." I hesitate, but continue. "I- I don't think I can sleep without you... you make me feel safe and keep the nightmares away or at least where I don't remember them. So, if you don't want me sleeping out here, then come inside. Otherwise, I'm staying right here."
I watch his face soften and look a little shocked when I admit that I can't sleep without him. I can see him debate with himself as he chews on his thumb watching me closely. He suddenly huffs and lifts himself up. "Come on. Let's get some rest."