Less than an hour later, we hear some cars and instantly draw our weapons. Everyone relaxes some when we see it's just our people with another stranger in tow. This man is scrawny, and delicate. He looks weak. He instantly makes his way to Aaron and kisses him on the lips. We watch the couple interact for a brief moment then the other man introduces himself as Eric. Rick unties Aaron but assigns Abraham and Sasha to them as security detail.
Rick gets the directions to their community. He, Aaron, and Glenn take one car. The rest of us split up between vehicles, one of which is a RV that Aaron and Eric brought. We follow them for a ways only to discover that the road to Alexandria is trashed with debris from the storm. With no way around, we redirect on a different route, the long way. Instead of us being there a day, it will now take us at least two days to get there. One of our cars runs out of gas and those people pile up in the RV. When it gets dark, we pull into a big plantation home. It looks a lot like our old family farmhouse except two times bigger and way fancier. I can't help but think it is beautiful. The inside is just as impressive as the house itself. There are cobwebs and dirt everywhere, but other than that, it appears to be untouched.
We all make quick work of clearing the first floor, then move onto the second floor. Daryl and I clear the final bedroom. We hear a chorus of "clears" from everyone. Glenn and Maggie appear in the doorway of the bedroom that Daryl and I are in. "Beth, you gotta come see this." Maggie says with excitement.
I give her and Daryl a curious look. "What is it?"
"Just come see."
Maggie and Glenn disappear leaving Daryl and I with no other option but to follow them to the other end of the hall to what I assume is another bedroom. Still unsure, I open the door slowly and gasp at the sight. "Oh my God." I say in disbelief.
I walk inside and look around, taking it all in. I glance back at Maggie, Glenn and Daryl with a huge smile. Maggie and Glenn smile back but Daryl's face is set in a deep frown, very annoyed to be the only one in the dark. "What?"
"It looks exactly like my old bedroom." As I say the words, I realize Daryl never saw my bedroom at the farm. Unable to help myself, I look away from him and at the familiar space.
"It's crazy, right? You even had some of the same posters on your wall." Maggie says affectionately. They hover in the doorway for a few more minutes and I know it is time to join the rest of the group downstairs. I walk towards them and shut the door knowing I'll have to sneak back up here again before we leave.
As we settle in for the night in the living room, I am setting my stuff down and spot a piano in the corner of the room. I try to make conversation with everyone else, but my eyes keep drifting back to the piano. I know Daryl has seen it too and is thinking the same thing I am... that the last time I played was for him at the funeral home. It's the reason he is refusing to make eye contact with me. Anytime he thinks about the funeral home, he thinks of the night I was taken and blames himself all over again. I try to think about it differently. Yes it was a trap that ended badly, but the funeral home is where we were happiest. Where we were so close to admitting our feelings. I guess it haunts us both in different ways.
I subtly scoot closer to him so our arms touch as we finish our dinner, hoping it will pull him from those negative thoughts by silently saying I was taken. But I am here now... with you. Daryl doesn't react at first, not that I expect him too with so many people watching, but after a moment, I feel him lean ever so slightly into me. I know. He sets down the can of beans he was eating in front of him. He crosses his arms. I feel the hand closest to me, hidden by this other arm, begin to rub my arm. Guess you gotta keep reminding me sometimes. It's the smallest of affections. Yet it means so much to me. I resist the urge to look at him or smile at the sweetness of his touch. I wonder if that is what he really is trying to communicate to me. If so, then I will do it for as long as he needs me to. When I finish eating, I mimic his position, my arms crossed too so everyone can't see us hold hands. I will.
Eventually Carol catches me peeking over at the piano. "Why don't you play for us Beth?"
Part of me wants to resist and say no, knowing it is going to stir up a lot more emotions for me and Daryl if I do. But everyone seems to want me to and the other part of me is itching to play. Daryl seems to pick up on my hesitancy. He squeezes my hand, makes eye contact and dips his head like go on, there ain't no jukebox. I unwind my arms and go sit down on the old piano bench. I play and sing the first thing that comes to mind.
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone
Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound
Ooh (ooh)
Ooh (ooh)
Oh whoa (oh whoa)
Oh whoa (oh whoa)
Ooh (ooh)
Ooh (ooh)
Oh whoa
Oh whoa
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Everyone claps quietly as I turn around. I smile in gratitude at every single one of them. I notice Aaron and Daryl just outside the living room talking. I wonder what that is about. Maggie joins me on the piano stool and requests we sing one of her favorites. After several songs, I need a break. By then, Daryl is back in the same spot I left him in. His eyes meet mine and I can't read the look on his face. Rick sits next to him and strikes up a conversation. I nudge Maggie and tell her I am going upstairs. She smiles at me knowingly and asks if I need company. I politely decline. It's a rarity to be alone these days in a group of our size.
Not long later, Daryl finds me in my-almost-old room. I am sitting on the bed when he leans on the doorframe. "Hey."
"Hey." I say back to him. He just stands there watching me but it isn't uncomfortable. I look back down at the two boxes in front of me.
He takes a step into the room. "You alright?"
I look back up at him and smile. "Yeah I am fine. I just..." I gesture to the room around me. "This room is like walking back in time for me." He nods at my words. For him it was the moonshiner's shack. "It's hard to believe this was my life." He doesn't say anything so I continue. "I had the exact same vanity across from my bed with pictures of my family and friends all around the mirror just like she did." I point to the comforter I am sitting on. "I had this comforter. I was this girl. It's just weird. It feels like it was a million years ago, but in reality it's only been a couple of years, you know?"
He nods again. I watch him as he takes in his surroundings. No doubt envisioning me living in a room like this. He moves to the desk across the room and shuffles around a few papers. He pulls out the desk chair and straddles it to face me on the bed. "She was a good girl like you." I grin at him because he's not wrong. "What'cha got there?" He points to the boxes in front of me on the bed.
"Every good girl has one of these boxes hidden somewhere. I found this under her bed." I pull the open box to me a little closer. "It's her private, secret stache of all the forbidden things she isn't supposed to have. Let's see. We have a pack of cigarettes..." I toss the pack to him. "We have a raunchy romance novel... instructions to a vibrator which isn't in here. She probably took it with her to college. And... contraband." I hold up the ziplock baggie with two rolled joints inside. A wicked smile comes over my face and I tease. "You know, I have never been high before."
Daryl snorts at me. "You ain't startin' now neither. I got ya drunk once and you committed arson. Who knows what ya will try to do when yer high."
I chuckle, "You're no fun."
He points to the box. "What was in yours?"
"Oh not much. I was too good of a girl. I had a dirty book like this and a couple of CDs of music I wasn't supposed to listen to."
His lips twitch upwards. "What's the other box?"
"Her keepsake box." I reply as I open it up.
"You had one too?"
"Yeah. In mine, I had some pictures, some birthday cards, a broach that my grandma gave me, a ticket stub to my first date, and my favorite CD of all time." I start going through the girl's box and find some postcards from her father who appeared to have been in the army. Some pictures of her and a boyfriend. A note from someone named John. A sea shell. A silver dollar and a graduation tassel. "She was a year ahead of me." I say absentmindedly.
"How do you know?" Daryl asks.
"Graduation tassel. I remember I couldn't wait to graduate and go to college." I don't try to hide the sadness in my voice.
Daryl shrugs. "If it makes ya feel any better, I ddin't graduate neither."
This news doesn't surprise me. I think I remember overhearing him tell Carl this fact at the prison. I smile at his attempt to cheer me up. "How old were you?"
"17. I's a junior. I hated school, barely went. When Merle got out of prison and said he had a job lined up for us, two towns over, I just quit going."
Something about the way he talks prompts me to ask. "Do you regret it?"
He looks down at his feet for a moment. Then shrugs. "Sometimes. I'd woulda been the first one in my family to graduate. I made it farther than my old man and Merle. I coulda tried to stick it out but instead I just lived up to the shitty Dixon family name and became just another redneck asshole."
"You gotta stay who you are, remember? You're not another redneck asshole. You're not them. You're the good Dixon."
He scoffs, "Like there is such a thing."
I ignore that comment. My mind wanders to Merle. I know Daryl misses him. We often miss the dead but never talk about them. I always like talking about my loved ones that are gone. When we don't talk about them, it feels like we are just trying to forget them. I don't want to forget them. "Wonder what he woulda thought of us?"
"Merle?" Daryl inquires. I nod in response. Daryl doesn't say anything at first but the faintest of smiles appears. "He'd woulda laughed his ass off. He'd give me hell and probably say a bunch of inappropriate, stupid shit to you that woulda made me wanna kick his ass."
I grin trying to imagine it. Merle was always so crass. "Sounds about right."
Daryl chews on his thumb. "I think deep down he woulda been happy for me. He always liked ya."
"Really? I thought he hated me." I say in surprise.
Daryl's eyebrows furrow. "Why'd ya think that?"
"Because..." I go to respond automatically, then realize he must not know. "Of the incident. It happened right after he got to the prison..."
I have Judith in my arms and make my way into the makeshift cafeteria area of the prison. Carol and Merle are in there. Carol is making dinner and Merle is sitting on one of the tables. I say a soft hello to them. I can feel Merle's eyes on me as I adjust Judith and make her bottle.
Merle's gravelly voice suddenly pipes up from behind me. "Don't give her that shit. Don't be shy. Give ole Merle a show and whip out a tit. Feed that baby the good stuff. After all, what is it they say? Breast is best?"
To Daryl's credit, he listens without interrupting. But when I tell him what Merle said to me, he tenses up and mumbles something under his breath that sounds a lot like fuckin Merle. "What did you say?"
"Nothing. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Even if I wanted to, Carol took care of it. She smacked up him upside the head and told him to leave me alone." At that Daryl smiles. "I just stayed quiet and plotted my revenge."
Daryl gives me a look. "What did ya do?"
Merle snickers at his joke. He knows Judith isn't my baby. He is just trying to get a rise out of me or scare me. Whichever it is, I don't take the bait. Carol smacks the back of his head in punishment for me. I want to show him that he doesn't scare me and I'm not going to take his foolishness. Momma would tell me to kill him with kindness. Maggie would tell me to get even. After everything Merle has done, revenge seems like the best option. But what can I do to get to someone like Merle? I think on it as I finish feeding Judith, all the while Merle just runs his mouth to anyone that will listen. I tune him out. Just like clockwork, right as soon as Judith is done eating, she poops. I go to change her diaper and get an idea. I get her all cleaned up and wrap the disposable diaper up to keep the smell contained. Baby girl is less than a month old, but she can sure pack a punch with her dirty diapers.
I pick Judy up and the diaper. Merle smiles at me with stupid grin of his. "Well, well, well little mama leaving so soon?"
Thankfully I have to walk by him to get to the cell block. I smile and head straight for him. "Yup. Nap time. Take care of this for me, will ya, Edward Scissorhands?" I push the dirty diaper onto his knife hand, smearing poop all over it and keep walking.
Merle throws a fit and I hear Carol laughing her head off behind me. Merle grumbles, "What the hell was that for?"
I turn to face him. "That is for being an ass, and for kidnapping my sister, and for trying to kill my brother-in-law.. Karma is a bitch Merle."
Daryl laughs. Honest to God laughs. I love the sound. "He pretty much left me alone after that."
Daryl shakes his head, still chuckling. "I bet so. No wonder he liked ya. You're a badass."
"Thanks." I stand up off the bed and walk over to him as he moves to sit sideways on the chair now. "We should head back down."
Daryl gets a look on his face like he is debating something. Suddenly he shakes his head, "Come 'ere." He grabs my arm and pulls me onto his lap. I yelp in surprise. He captures his lips with mine, shutting me up instantly. One of my hands latch in his hair and the other holds onto his shirt so I don't fall. His kiss is eager and sure, making my toes curl. He pulls away, keeping the kiss brief. "Shush woman, or they'll send a search party after us."
"Sorry, you scared me. What was that for?" I ask happily.
"Been missin' ya. Wanted to do that all day." Daryl says sincerely.
His blue eyes look even bluer in the moonlight. They are like oceans that I could drown in if he'd let me. "By all means..." I lean in and kiss him again.
A little while later, we head back down stairs to go to sleep. Before we join the rest of our family, I remember something. "Hey, what did you and Aaron talk about earlier?"
Daryl doesn't meet my eyes. He shakes his head and all he says is "Later." I am confused on why he won't just tell me now, but I know he must have a reason, so I don't push it. I nod and follow him to the living room where the rest of our family lay sleeping soundly.