✧
Declan kissed me.
I repeat. Declan fucking kissed me.
When I arrive home that evening, I murmur a quick hello to my mother before bursting into my bedroom and screaming into my pillow. I don't know what possessed me to do such a thing but I have to let it out somehow.
Holy shit. His lips. His greedy tongue.
My entire core clenches and blood rushes to my crotch. I knew this would happen. I'm fucked, totally fucked. I can hardly breathe.
I have no shame in tucking my hand inside my pants and stroking myself to the thought and memory of Declan's lips. The way he pinned me to the wall. I groan, I don't last long.
He kissed me.
He fucking kissed me and I adored every damn second of it.
✧
The next day I ring Alex who is with River after spending the weekend together. I could barely get my words out, still on cloud nine after last night. I mention that I need to see them, to get this out in person before I convince myself it never happened.
Declan hasn't messaged me. It's not like I expected him to message me, it's only ten o'clock in the morning. But now I'm slightly concerned about what this means.
Does he like me?
Did the moment get ahead of him?
Gah. I wish I knew what was going on in his mind.
I know Declan likes to flirt with me but I never thought he'd actually kiss me.
I've been trying to push away this crush for months, thinking that Declan would never see me like that. We're business partners to each other. I said that to him, and he agreed. So what the hell does this mean?
He even mentioned that I must have shit sex if I'd prefer a dessert. Does that make me incredibly lame? Now Declan was probably thinking about how I'm shit in bed.
Apparently he's not if desserts don't even cut it.
Oh God, what am I even saying? I've completely lost the plot.
Later in the afternoon I meet up with Alex and River. We go for a walk around the town and I wrap up warm as the days are getting colder. The countdown to Christmas is soon and I don't want to think about what that'll mean for Chessman's–with Declan or not.
It's always an incredibly stressful time.
I spot Alex and River sitting on a bench, they're talking as I approach. We greet each other with a hug and I perch on the edge beside them. I haven't seen River nearly as much as Alex but I know he recently got a promotion and he's been swamped with making this community better for the children.
"What's going on?" Alex asks.
For a second I hold my breath and then I let it out. "Declan kissed me last night."
Alex's eyes widen in shock and River nods with approval. "Shut up," Alex stutters. "Shut the hell up!"
I press my lips together and hum. "Did you like it?" River asks.
"Did I like it?" I repeat with a slight scoff. "The man fucking turned my world completely upside down. I haven't stopped thinking about it since and I'm slightly freaking out."
Alex is still in absolute shock because he's staring at me like I've got three heads. "Can you please explain the lead up to this and how it happened? I need to know all the details. All."
So I explain doing up the cafe, our week together, him seeing me leave my bedroom with a stranger, his comment about one-night stands, him taking me out to celebrate and everything else that was mentioned last night.
"I've never felt like this before," I find myself admitting. "Which must mean I really, really like him. I'm almost too nervous to even talk to him again because I don't want to fuck anything up, not at all. Before I'd be jumping at the chance to see him again but I don't want to. I'm fucking terrified."
Alex lays his hand on my arm gently. "Because this is real, you like him for real. Not some silly crush, you've got serious feelings for this man and it's normal when you don't want to fuck things up. The first time I kissed River, I didn't see him for a few days and I started to think I messed everything up but really he was just busy and I didn't want to come across as too desperate for his attention."
I hum at his words. "That's why I'm kind of relieved he hasn't texted me. I guess I'll see him tomorrow at the cafe re-opening. Are you guys coming?"
"Of course," River nods. "We wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm looking forward to what you've done with the cafe."
My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."
Alex is beaming at me. "I can't believe he kissed you..." he trails off. "Well actually I can, you're a catch and he'd be silly not to like you."
"I didn't even think he liked guys..." I say, leaning back in the chair. "I had no idea he'd want to even do anything like that with me. It was a pleasant surprise but now I'm freaking out."
River leans forward beside Alex and shakes his head. "Don't freak out," he says. "He obviously kissed you because he wanted to and you said he's older, right? Well I doubt he's going to fuck around with your feelings when he's probably been through that shit before. Don't overthink it, see what happens when you next see him."
My stomach flips. Tomorrow is when I'll be seeing him.
"What if I'm getting my hopes up again and actually he doesn't want to date me? It's a constant shit show of people not enjoying my company."
"Bullshit," River states.
Alex nods in agreement. "River is right, that's bullshit. Declan wouldn't have offered to do up the cafe, take you out to dinner if he didn't enjoy your company. In fact he probably kissed you because he enjoys your company so much. Did you think about it that way?"
I stare out at the green grass beyond us and the trees that blow in the wind gently. Honestly? No, I haven't thought about it like that.
"You need to stop letting your past cloud your future," Alex's tone turns soft. "Just because you dated some assholes in the past, including myself. Doesn't mean Declan is going to be like them. In fact, he might be the silver lining in all of this. The one man you had to wait for and prove to you that you were kissing frogs before."
His words make me laugh. "Kissing you wasn't so bad."
"Hey," River scowls at me with a glint of amusement and I chuckle. "Watch it."
"I'm just messing," I wave him off with a small smile.
Alex pushes River's shoulder gently before turning back to me. "There is the playful Luca we've all missed. I hope he stays and I certainly hope Declan is one of the reasons to bring him to the surface."
I feel life return to my eyes and my heart feels a little lighter.
They're right. I've doomed myself by thinking no one will ever be satisfied with me.
But maybe I'm the one who has been dissatisfied with myself.
It's time to give myself a break and let things happen freely. Even if that includes something with Declan.
✧
I never expected so many people to turn up to the re-opening of Chessman's. My mum cried so much that I was worried she'd pass out. She even baked some cakes as a thank you to anyone who decided to pitch up.
Along with Alex, River, Demi and Troy, a bunch of our regular customers and a few of my mothers friends from her work give up their time to see the new cafe. I noticed that even Declan had some people there for him, including Elodie and the tall man who I presumed is his brother, Nick.
"This place is beautiful," Demi chimes as she clasps her hands together and glances around.
"I know," I admit. "It's truly a miracle. Just how mum wanted it. It makes me so happy."
Troy slides his arm over my shoulder. "Proud of you, Luca. You deserve this."
My heart swells. "I'm proud of myself too but we still have a long way to go, this is just the beginning."
"Yeah..." he trails off, gripping my shoulder. "But it's a start and with a place like this, you're bound to get new customers with a click of your fingers. I even spied the new drinks menu, those combinations look insane."
A laugh passes my lips. "Yeah, we went a bit crazy on those but at least they will catch people's eyes. Right?"
"Exactly, the best business opportunity."
I glance at Alex who is staring at someone behind me. "You good?"
He drags his grey eyes to mine and folds his arms over his chest, a smug smile on his lips. "He's totally into you." He comments simply.
"What?"
I blink once and then twice. I know exactly who he's talking about but I refuse to believe it with a room full of my friends and my mother. "He literally cannot stop looking at you, Luca. Whenever you're out of sight, he takes his time to find you."
"He doesn't," I say in defence. But I can't really speak because I've been avoiding his eyes all day.
Alex's lip curls into a knowing smile. "He really is."
I gulp suddenly and glance over my shoulder. Of course I find Declan's eyes within two seconds and shock, he's staring straight back at me. His dark eyes sparkle in my direction and then he smiles.
He fucking smiles.
My stomach feels like it's about to fall through my ass because that smile is worth a million dollars and I'm on the receiving end of it. So I smile back. A genuine smile that makes my heart flutter inside my chest.
Then I feel Alex's lips at my ear. "You guys are literally giving each other googly eyes from ten feet away. Get a fucking room."
I can't help but laugh as I turn towards him. "Shut up," I say, rubbing a hand down the back of my head. "It's been a weird day and I still haven't spoken to him much, either about the kiss."
"Mmmm," he leans back slowly. "I can tell there is definitely some unfinished business for later."
My hand raises to Alex's arm and I push him playfully. "I wish."
River slings his arm over Alex's shoulder. "So are you doing speeches or what?"
"Absolutely not," my eyes almost bulge out of my head. "No one needs to be tortured to death."
The hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand when I feel someone approach me. Both Alex and River's eyes fall on whoever is right behind me. My head rotates slowly and I'm met with Declan who is looking unbelievably handsome today.
He ditched his suit and is wearing a tight long sleeved top that is pushed up to his elbows with a pair of dark jeans. "Hey," he says lightly.
I can feel Alex and River move away from us and now it's just us standing in the middle of the cafe. I try so damn hard not to look at his lips because I don't want him thinking I'm still fantasising about him–even though I am.
"Hey," I say back.
"Did you meet my brother yet?"
My head shakes. "No, but I saw Elodie earlier."
He gestures to them across the room. "Come say hi. I know for a fact Nick is intrigued into who I've been spending all my time with lately."
I swallow down the lump in my throat and follow him across to where Elodie is sitting in Nick's large arms. She looks so tiny but still showcasing that cheesy grin.
"Nick," Declan's voice booms. "This is Luca. Luca, this is my brother Nick."
He has dark green eyes, unlike Declan's which are dark brown. They're both stupidly handsome. Nick is even a smidge taller than Declan which I'm surprised about but both of their heights dominate the room.
"Hi," I smile as Elodie turns to me and points.
"Hey, Luca," he says deeply. His voice isn't as soft and inviting as I expected it to be. "Nice cafe. I like what you guys have done with the place."
I nod at him slowly. "Thanks."
"Luca," Elodie flashes me a small grin. Her hair is tied up in multicoloured scrunchies and she's wearing a pink dress with ballet pumps. "Luca."
My eyes slide to Declan quickly and I have no idea if he told his brother about bringing Elodie to the cafe. But he gives me a small nod and encourages me.
"Hey you," I lower my voice. "Do you still hate the art on the walls?"
Elodie shakes her head. "No, only some of it. Hearts would have looked better."
Declan chuckles from beside me. "Only some of it? Luca worked hard on picking the decorations out and you hate some of it."
She presses a hand to her mouth and giggles. "I would say sorry but I'm not."
"Always brutally honest," Declan ruffles her hair and she buries her head further into Nick's chest.
Nick cups her face and she exhales a little yawn. "Els is tired," he comments. "I'm going to take her home. Thanks for a nice afternoon, I'm pleased things worked out for you guys."
Declan hugs his brother and then kisses Elodie on the forehead. My eyes burst into love hearts.
"It was nice meeting you, Nick," I say sincerely, forcing my eyes away from Declan's face to show I'm in awe over how affectionate he is to his niece.
I really need to get a grip.
When Nick leaves, a few other people do too but it's been a successful re-opening.
"Hey," Declan says, bringing me back to the room. "How do you feel about today?"
I take a glance around and see people talking, smiling, drinking, eating. "Happy," I admit. "It's been a good day and I'm pleased with how everything turned out. I was a little anxious about no one coming but I'm so relieved that people actually care."
Declan takes a step closer to me and I inhale a silent breath. "Of course people care, Luca. I care a lot."
My lips curl into a smile. "I know you do."
He opens his mouth to close his teeth around his bottom lip and I shouldn't be looking at the action but I physically cannot help myself. That's when he notices me studying his mouth and my lungs stop functioning.
"Good," he says gruffly. His hand extends and he presses his thumb to my chin, tilting it to meet his eyes better. I'm having a hot breakdown right now because he's clutching my chin in front of a room full of people and I'm about to explode.
"Because you should know that you deserve nothing but the best."
Yep. I have officially stopped breathing altogether.
✧
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Author's Note
Declan and his signature head tilt🫠🫠🫠 I'd fold every time ugh
Also cameos of Alex and River🥹 I miss my babies and I'm so glad they're happy!!
I love that Declan's not backing down/pretending the kiss didn't happen, he's a man who wants the fuck out of Luca😏
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