TW for graphic description of wounds mentions of abuse.
I'm seriously clueless if this even requires a TW but I'll put it here anyway.
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Baizhu's POV
I sighed as I listened to Neuvillette finish recounting the events of last night.
What a mess.
How glad I am to be his doctor and not his therapist.
Instead of commenting on last night's event, I turned to look at Wriothesley.
He had been wearing a displeased frown all throughout Neuvillette's story so...
"Now I want to hear it from you." I told him.
I stopped Neuvillette before he could protest, focusing my attention on Wriothesley.
"First of all, he did not just choke me out of nowhere. I reacted to his touch rather violently and suddenly. In one way, I provoked it and that will be the end of the discussion about that." He glared at Neuvillette.
Well, well, well.
Just the start of the story and it was already so different from Neuvillette's self-balming version.
For obvious reasons, I'm more inclined to believe this one.
"Secondly, he was communicating just fine and he was calm throughout the whole thing. After we talked for a bit he put the string down and he was even fine with physical interactions after a bit."
Hmm?
Physical interactions?
"What kind of physical interactions do you mean?"
"Holding hands and hugging."
Neuvillette...
He allowed someone to not only hold his hand but hug him when he was that vulnerable.
Putting aside times when he is vulnerable, he never allows anyone to hug him at all.
Aside from children, the only person who was ever able to hug him was his grandmother.
The last one who tried got punched in the face.
I guess this is progress.
Though not a lot, seeing as Wriothesley still got slammed into the bed for grabbing him so suddenly.
But progress, nonetheless.
Phew...
Okay, let's go through everything one by one.
"May I take a look at your neck?" I asked Wriothesley.
He hesitated for a moment before nodding.
"I'm going to put some pressure on a few points. I want you to tell me what you feel."
Fortunately, contrary to how bad it looked, there didn't seem to be any major damage.
Still...
"If you feel any discomfort, make sure to see a doctor immediately."
After all, I didn't exactly have an x-ray here to properly check.
Now on to the more troublesome things.
"Could you please go out for a while?" I asked Wriothesley.
He gave me a questioning look in return, prompting me to further explain.
"That is unless you want to look at Neuvillette while he is naked and manage to get his permission to do so." I said blankly
The speed at which his face flushed and he left the room was impressive.
Now then...
"Lie down face first, will you?"
Finally, I had an undisturbed moment alone with Neuvillette.
I decided to leave uncomfortable questions for later and start with the examinations as normal.
After he lay down on the bed I leaned over him, reaching out my hand.
I tapped on the bed next to his waist a few times to inform him where I was going to touch till I heard a hum of acknowledgment.
"You really don't need to do that. You can just tell me where you'll be touching." Neuvillette commented.
"It's an old habit. I doubt I will ever drop it at this point."
I traced my finger along his lower back without breaking contact till I reached his spine. then I lowered my palm onto it and applied some pressure.
"Tell me if it hurts."
"Don't you get tired of doing this?" He asked.
"Don't you get tired of getting injured?" I retorted.
But in some ways, he was right.
It was not his spine that was the problem but his nerves.
No matter how much pressure I would put on his spine unless it reached a point where any other human being too would feel pain, it never hurt.
His spine had healed miraculously well considering he took a bullet straight to it. His nerves on the other hand...
Neuvillette was in no way disabled.
The problem was that after his injury, the nerves in his lower back and right leg sometimes give off the wrong signals to the most minor things like the pressure that comes with walking or standing.
What they would send back to the brain would instead be the full-force pain of an injury almost equal to getting your leg blown off.
"Any incidents with your leg this month?" I asked.
"Just once. I sat in the wrong position for just a bit too long."
"Hmm."
Just once is good. Definitely much better than last month.
Speaking of last month.
"How is the injury on your shoulder?"
"Which one?"
The fact that he had to ask which one annoyed me to an incredibly high degree.
"The one Wriothesley so kindly pointed out."
"Almost completely healed."
"Any pain? Infection?"
"No."
That's good.
But...
"If I have to remove another bullet from your body within the next two months I will prescribe you some medicine you have to dissolve in water and drink." I warned.
A pained groan left his throat at the mere idea.
"Don't you dare." He groaned.
"If you don't want me to, avoid danger for just two months."
"Not my choice."
Yeah...
That wasn't exactly wrong, but still.
"At least shoot first."
"I don't carry a gun."
"Alhaitham does." I pointed out.
"Alhaitham is not my babysitter."
"No, he's supposed to be your bodyguard, yet it is your shoulder I removed a bullet from and not his."
"He was busy." He tried to argue.
"With what? Sleeping with his boyfriend in your car?"
Tsk!
As if I didn't know that you never bring Alhaitham anywhere you actually consider dangerous.
Silence fell after that.
And...
Here comes the time for the difficult questions.
"Did you intend to use the sedative when you took it out of the box?" I asked.
"Yes."
And here I was still hoping for a no.
I couldn't help but think back to the first time I saw Neuvillette in my Master's clinic.
If I recall correctly, it had been mere days after the trial, right after his grandmother took him in.
I was 12 years old back then, barely allowed into the exam rooms to observe, but on that day my master had been hesitant about letting me inside.
-
27 years ago
"Baizhu, you have to listen well now, okay?" Master started seriously.
He sat me down and held my hands, looking more serious than ever.
"Inside that exam room is a very young and very sensitive little boy. He is nine years old, three years younger than you. He has been through a lot and that shows on both his body and behavior. I'm asking you to be very careful today, okay? Don't comment on anything you see and in no circumstance should you touch him without permission. Do you understand?"
"Yes. I understand." I nodded.
I didn't really know what to expect till I walked through the door and saw him sitting on the exam table.
He was silent, eerily so and he just stared at the ground blankly without any indication that he noticed our presence.
Master walked up to him and crouched down in front of him, directly entering his line of sight but there was still no reaction.
He reached over and tapped the edge of the exam table a few times.
The boy blinked a few times as his eyes finally focused.
"Oh, Doctor... My apologies-"
"That's okay. Sometimes people just fall too deep into their thoughts."
A silence fell in the room, though this time it wasn't unpleasant.
"Hello, Neuvillette." My Master greeted him with a smile.
So his name was Neuvillette.
"Hello."
"How are you feeling today? Any changes since the last time I saw you?"
Last time? Has he been here before?
"The nausea has gotten worse and I... It just feels like something isn't right." Neuvillette mumbled.
"Are you restless?"
"A bit."
"Headache? Sweating? Fever? Shivering?"
Neuvillette nodded for each one.
That list made an alarm go off in my head.
Those are all symptoms of-
"Those are all common symptoms of withdrawal. They will get better with time."
I was shocked when I saw Neuvillette just nodding along to such a diagnosis without much of a reaction.
Withdrawal?
For a nine-year-old?
"Ah, right! I should introduce you two. Neuvillette, this is Baizhu, my student. Baizhu, this is Neuvillette."
He gave me a small nod in greeting and I returned it in kind.
"Neuvillette, will you be fine with Baizhu being here? If not, just tell me, okay?"
"Okay."
"So, are you comfortable with his presence?" Master asked again.
"Yes."
"Alright then. Let's start. Could you take your shirt off for me?"
Neuvillette nodded at the question and began unbuttoning his shirt.
It was only then that I noticed the bandages wrapped around most of his fingers.
As he took his shirt off, more and more bandages were revealed, covering most of his upper body and arms.
The bandage on his lower left arm had a red tint to it.
Blood.
An injury most likely opened.
"Oh dear. I hoped this wouldn't happen. How did this happen?"
"I'm not sure. It might have been when I caught my fall a while ago."
"Did you tell anyone?"
"No-"
"Neuvillette. What did we discuss about hiding wounds?" Master asked sternly.
"I wasn't aware it was like this till now." Neuvillette said in defense.
"Did it not hurt?"
"I'm on painkillers." Neuvillette pointed out.
"Right. Right... The painkillers, how could I forget?" Master sighed.
"It isn't hard to forget just one thing. Especially not when there is just a bit of everything in me at the moment."
Master frowned at Neuvillette's self-mocking tone.
"Neuvillette"
"Sorry."
"That's not... Never mind. Let me take a look at your wounds."
I noticed how Master tapped the surface next to Neuvillette's hand a few times before touching him.
Is that a kind of medical procedure as well?
He probably noticed my confusion as he smiled and motioned for me to come over before turning back to Neuvillette.
"Do you mind if I explain?"
"No, go ahead."
As soon as he got permission master turned back to me and gestured toward the exam table.
"Sometimes when patients are sensitive to physical contact, you have to give them some sort of warning before touching them. One such method is pointing to the place in question, but Neuvillette has a habit of closing his eyes when he's relaxed so that won't work. Another is naming the place out loud, but that is another type of stimulation and it isn't always best for everyone. The method we settled for with Neuvillette is for me to just tap the surface closest to where I want to touch and then trace a line with my finger to the exact point without interrupting contact.
Some patients who have such problems are prone to lashing out harshly without intending to when frightened by sudden physical contact so make sure to always pay attention. Neuvillette here, for example, accidentally kicked me in a not-so-fun place the first time we met." Master smiled a bit painfully.
A not-so-fun place?
Ah...
That.
I will definitely pay attention.
As Master started unwrapping the bloody bandages around Neuvillette's left arm I saw a deep, bleeding cut along his wrist.
Is that-
"It's not." Neuvillette said suddenly.
As I lifted my eyes from the wound I noticed that he was looking at me.
"If I wanted to commit suicide, I wouldn't have waited till now."
He said it like it was an offhand comment about the weather, not his own life.
"Sorry."
I shouldn't make assumptions like that.
"It's fine. You're not the first to think so, anyway."
I was glad that Master didn't comment on the exchange as he redid the ripped stitches on the wound.
Before he wrapped his arm back up, I noticed countless other wounds on Neuvillette's arm.
Puncture wounds, mostly. Like those left by an unpracticed doctor using a syringe.
His other arm was in a similar condition minus the bleeding wound. Instead, there was one that looked similar just long healed.
His fingers weren't much better off. Covered in small wounds, some of his nails broke terribly while two were just ripped off.
Master cleaned and treated all his wounds to the best of his ability before bandaging them again and moving to his upper body.
It was when those badges were removed that I couldn't hold back a pained groan.
"Ugh."
Both noticed but didn't comment on my little slip-up.
Still, I feel like I will be scolded for that one later.
But...
Master said he was nine, right?
Compared to his arms, his torso was much worse.
Scars both small, large, new, and old covered his skin, coupled with countless bruises.
And his back...
His back was honestly scary.
Long gashes overlapped each other reaching from his shoulders to his lower back. Most were older, but some were new, barely closed, and threatening to open at the slightest pull.
They looked like...
They looked like a type of wound my Master showed me some time ago.
Wounds left behind by a whip...
"Now, now. Why don't you both stop looking so grim? These should mostly fade now that they are getting proper treatment. You should still get your growth spurt so that will help along. By the time you grow up, they should barely be visible." Master tried to lift the mood.
To say that he failed would be an understatement.
After Master bandaged his back again and Neuvillette put his shirt back on I found myself getting-
"I will have to ask you to leave for a bit, Baizhu." Master said.
I was getting kicked out.
"The next part is a bit... sensitive. I'm sorry but you can't be here."
Eventually, I left the room with some regret.
As I was closing the door I still heard some of what Master was saying.
"Let's take a look down there, okay? I won't touch more than absolutely necessary, but I will have to take a look to make sure there is no infection or anything like that."
That was the first time during the whole examination that I saw Neuvillette show an emotion other than a blank face.
He looked frightened.
Terrified even.
His eyes fell shut and he shook his head desperately.
"Hey, hey... It's okay. No one can hurt you now. No one can force you to do anything. I just want to make sure you're okay. Everyone is worried about you, you know. We just want to make sure you won't be in more pain later." Master said softly.
I closed the door as a series of nos and please don'ts slipped from Neuvillette's lips.
When I was let back inside I couldn't find any indication of what had happened.
Neuvillette was still sitting on the exam table without saying a single word more than absolutely necessary while Master was putting something away.
There was a small knock on the door before an old lady entered.
"Ah, Madame Egeria. Just in time."
"Well of course I would be in time to pick up my grandson. I've been late one too many times already."
That last sentence was said so softly no one aside from me probably heard it.
"Did everything go well, Neuvillette?" She asked with a gentle smile.
She got a hesitant nod in return but nothing aside from that.
She didn't seem to mind the lack of words all that much though.
She stood to the side as Master walked up to Neuvillette with a small box in his hand.
"This is what we agreed on yesterday. I will give this to you but be careful with it, alright?"
Neuvillette nodded as he took the box.
"Now, we didn't get to finish everything today. Will you let me take a look tomorrow?" Master asked and Neuvillette nearly jumped at the question.
"I- I- I don't know- I..."
"How about we just start by replacing the bandages on your legs end we see from there?" Master offered.
This was clearly more agreeable to Neuvillette as he nodded.
"Alright then. I'm gonna lift you off of here now, okay?"
"Okay."
After this, Neuvillette and his grandmother stayed a bit longer as Master explained some things they should pay attention to.
After they said goodbye and left, Master sat me down for what seemed like a very serious conversation.
"Now, Baizhu, I know you are curious and have questions, but I cannot answer most of them." He started.
I knew that.
Doctor-patient confidentiality and all.
"But, I will explain one thing. Just one thing that Neuvillette allowed me to explain, okay?"
"Which one?"
I had so many things I wanted to ask.
"That small box I gave him at the end of the examination. I can tell you about that if you are curious."
Of course, I would be curious!
I nodded excitedly and he started to explain.
"Till not too long ago, Neuvillette was with some very bad people who did horrible things to him. This included injecting him with a sedative as soon as they deemed him to be too... active. In other words, as soon as his adrenalin levels would rise to a certain level, he would be forced into unconsciousness.
Now those bad people aren't here anymore and can't do that, but this leaves us with another problem. Neuvillette had never freely experienced stimulation, emotional stimulation to be exact, above a certain level without it getting interrupted by a sedative.
So for now, I gave him an out. I gave him a sedative of my own. One that is much weaker than the ones he had been subjected to till now. This one will render him unconscious for at most ten minutes and does not have any side effects if used with care.
I told him that if it was too much, if he felt like he was about to do something dangerous to himself or someone else, he could use it."
Oh...
That is...
-
It was only years later that I found out that those bad people Master talked about included his own mother.
It was also much later that I realized what it was that had Neuvillette so terrified.
Those bastards!
To someone so young... A mere child...
Even now I wish I could just go poison them.
Not like anyone would be losing anything.
Just a bunch of lecherous bastards disappearing off the face of the planet.
At least Master had been right about one thing. The cards did mostly fade with time.
Some were still visible, especially those on his back, but they had gotten much, much better.
"Was it too much?" I asked him.
"I hurt him." Neuvillette muttered in a pained tone.
"Provoked, mind you." I pointed out.
There was a short silence before I finally spoke again.
"Why didn't you use it in the end?"
"Wriothesley."
"Hmm?"
"He came into my room just after I decided not to call Furina. He just sat there without coming closer than it was comfortable for me. He was just so clueless about everything... I found myself calming down bit by bit as we talked." He explained.
"And you let him hug you?"
That was the biggest shocker about all of this.
"He asked first and he promised it wouldn't hurt. I believed him."
Huh...
This is a new development.
Not an unwelcome one, nonetheless.
Wriothesley, huh...
I suppose we'll have to talk later.