Dear Simon,
Things have changed since we've last talked, not big changes, but changes nonetheless. Work has been stressful, but when has it not been? The deployment was successful, I am, as you know, unable to speak or write about the things I've done. It doesn't bother me that these memories stay hidden, but they're much less weighing on my mind.
Ericka Gold has been dishonorably discharged, shocker, I know. She was found in a broom closet, undressed and unbecoming of her clothing along with her title. I'm currently unknown of what became of her, but her name still wanders the halls, only to be remembered as a just that.
What came of me and Johnny? When I had arrived back from months of torment, he was gone. I texted and called, no answer, I showed up to his apartment to find the door creaked, and inside empty. He was gone, left from everything I thought we had built in our time together. The thought of him fueled my every waking moment, every time I held my breath, every time I had to watch the pain. Each moment I had to wipe the blood off the barrel of my gun.
My only hope was Johnny
"Hope?" John says, looking over my shoulder.
Ghost POV
"What's wrong with it?" I ask, he reaches over pointing at the word hope. "It doesn't feel right, read it over" John say, leaning down on me. "My only hope was Johnny, it sounds fine to me" I say, "Johnny was my only hope" John says dramatically, copying my accent. "Ok then" I say, I scratch the phrase out, rewriting it as he suggested I should. "Happy?" I ask, "Very" he responds.
Johnny was my only hope. For what came of Gaz and Price, they'd-
"That's it?" John mentions, "It of what?" I ask, looking to him, his arms wrapped around my neck. "I mean you're not going to talk about me more? I feel I deserve at least a page, but a paragraph? Give me some type of credit" John complains. "Johnny, I want to remind you, that this journal isn't real" I say, "Ok but why?" John asks. "John-" he shakes his head, returning to his position, "Right, false journal, sorry."
For what came of Gaz-
John clears his throat, I put the pen down, closing the book. "Ok I'm done, I swear" John says, I stand from my chair, and grab John's face, Kissing him. "Sometimes I regret telling you that I fell in love with your voice" I say. He laughs, kissing me back "Should I also tell you the places you forgot to capitalize?" John offers. I pull him back in, humming a decline in his lips.
Footsteps enter the room, "Daddy daddy! I found it!" Maddison says, running towards us. Me and John both look down to her, she's dressed in a yellow dress with fairy wings on her back, and her hair in buns. In her hands, she's holding a pair of costume butterfly wings. "Good job Maddie" John says taking them from her, "Ok we have 5 minutes, go to the kitchen and bring the paint outside to mommy" John says, kissing her forehead.
"Ok daddy!" She says skipping off joyfully, "You plan on also being a fairy?" I ask. He chuckles, "Nope, you are" John says, handing them to me, turning to leave the room. "Pardon?" I say, following, "Why do I have to be a fairy?" I ask. "Because that's what Maddison want you to be" I let out a sigh, "Well what are you gonna be?" I ask. "The same thing as you, except the tutu" John says, putting on a pair of his own wings. "The what-".
We walk into the back yard, back there, children run around with their parents watching over. Music, face painting, joy all around. Maddison runs back over, handing me tutu, I look to John. He whispers in my ear, "If you don't put it on, I'll break both your arms" he says with a smile. I smile, letting out a heavy breath, looking back at him, I put the tutu on along with the wings.
"Pretty Ghost!" Maddison says, smiling in my direction "Very pretty Ghost" John says, kissing my cheek. "You know Maddie, you know what I think Ghost needs? Fairy dust, how is he going to be a fairy without it" John says. Maddison takes my hand, "Bring him to Mommy and she'll get it done" John explains.
Maddison happily nods, leading me away, through the footsteps, the voices, the people that I didn't know before. I'm sit in a metal chair, in front of me, sits Lydia. She turns to me and pauses, scanning my face, "Mommy, Ghost needs fairy dust" Maddison says, poking my cheek. Lydia looks down to her, smiling "Lets get right on it" She says.
Maddison's name rings from across the yard, "I'll be back, make him super pretty!" Maddison says to Lydia. She then runs off, leaving me here with her, it's awkward between us. This would be the first time I've seen her, since that dinner, I mean mentions of her would pass by being with John, but nothing important.
She takes her brush, applying glitter to my face "How's life?" she ask. "It's uh.. Normal, nothing really out of the ordinary" I respond. "Mm, close your eyes, how the military?" she asks, I close my eyes, "Difficult" I respond. A moment goes by, "How's Ben?" I ask, she scoffs. "Couldn't tell you, one day I couldn't take his comments anymore, so he left, and I was left in that big house alone, all over again."
I open my eyes, "Sorry" I apologize, she waves it off putting down her brush. "Shit happens, but I'm glad that he found you" She says, "Me?" I ask. "Well it's either you or it's something in the water, and if it was in the water, trust that we'd all be feeling it" she says, looking John's direction. Maddison comes back over, "Pretty Ghost" Maddison says to me.
She grabs my hand pulling me up from the chair, I turn to see another person sit in the chair. I think that this was the first time seeing her smile, genuinely. Not a hint of malice in her words, somethings changed ever since I got back. "This is new" I turn to see Gaz and Price looking my direction, Fuck, "What are you guys doing here?" I ask.
Maddison runs over to Gaz pulling at his hand, "Rude, we were invited so you know" Price says. Gaz crouches down to Maddison, she pulls out stickers from her pocket, showing them to him. He looks over them, pointing a few out "Who invited you?" I ask "Soap, we aren't doing anything else today" Price says.
Maddison puts 2 star stickers on both of Gaz's cheeks, he picks her up, showing Price the stickers as well. "The board meeting?" I question, Maddison starts to put stickers on Price's face, "Gaz twisted his ankle, thank you Maddie" Price says. I look to Gaz's ankle, and back up at him, he avoids my looks. "Anyway, you're looking good, what are you?" Gaz asks, looking me up and down.
"A fairy!" Maddison says excitedly, Price turns away, trying to hide his laughter. Gaz covers his mouth closing his eyes, he takes a breath. "Yes he is" Gaz says, his eyes watering a bit, "Something in your eye?" I ask. "There's nothing in my eye-" I move closer to him "You sure? Let me see" I ask. Gaz puts Maddison down, pointing to me "Don't touch me, you villain" Gaz says.
"While we're at it, I think you should also dress up" I say, I take off my wings. "I'll throw a child at you, I do not care" Gaz says, Maddison steps between us, putting her arms out. "No being mean!" She tells me, "Yeah! You tell him Maddie" Gaz says, flipping me off from behind her. "But I will take the wings, it's clear only certain people can rock it" Gaz says, he take them, putting them on.
"EVERYONE IT'S TIME, COME TO THE TABLE" John yells across the yard, everyone gathers around as he brings the cake out, setting it down on the table. Maddison sits in a chair in front of the cake, happily looking at it. He looks to Gaz, who's pretending to flutter his new wings. He looks back to Maddison, "Ok Maddie, we're gonna take a picture once I light them, then you're gonna make a wish, think real real hard" John says.
He starts to light the candles, I lean over to him "Where's your costume?" I whisper to him. "Costume?.. Oh no, I'm not wearing one, but I did bet Price $100 that I could get you to wear that tutu" John says. Motherfucker-
Dear Simon,
Maybe I'll get myself another book, my throwaway one won't work to the thoughts that I have. Because you deserve better, you deserve to know all my thoughts and feelings. The ones I keep in my head, and the ones you I remind you of everyday.
I don't know if it's me being selfish, but I don't want anyone to know you, how I know you. I'm trying to be more open, but you've opened yourself to me (in more ways than one), and I'll return the favor.
I'll share the thoughts I can't say, and the thoughts that circle my head constantly. I'll tell of your eyes, your smile, even your words I so desperately wish to have just for me. I'll tell them of the day we met and how even that day I wanted more of you, all of you.
Soap POV
"What do you wish for Maddie?" I ask, she looks at the cake, thinking for a second. "I wish for Daddy to be happy... And a princess dress.. A blue one" Maddison says. Me and Lydia share a look, she blows out the candles, everyone starts to cheer. "Good job Maddie!" I say, kissing her head.
"Can I get the first piece?" Gaz asks, Lydia gives him a stern look, shutting him up. My eyes gloss over Simon's, he's looking at me, well as of late, he's always looking. I smile turning towards the cake "Simon, you're staring" I say cutting into it. I hear him scoff behind me, "I know, you're hard to look away from" I chuckle at his comment.
They say the devil, before it all was an angel, cast away. Even before he became what he's known now as, he was God's favorite. The first of many fallen angels, My fallen star...
{GUYS I DID IT, I WROTE A FANFICTION THAT DIDN'T TAKE 4 YEARS!! Straight to it, I HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU, READERS.
1) Where did you find my story from? If you found me from twitter from a... Irrational tweet I've made, I'm sorry.
2) What are your thoughts on the story! I just like to write random shit, so everything I do comes out of no-where.
ALSO REAL QUICK
MY NEXT FANFICTION'S AUTHORS NOTE IS PUBLISHED RIGHT NOW!!! It's called Monochrome, and you can find it on my profile! You can follow that until I start putting out chapters!{It's also smut, so fuck you}
{Next chapter for more :]}