Taking a deep and steadying breath, I summon the courage to move forward. Rounding the corner I see Valdemar waiting for me in his formal black attire. He looks very handsome with his blond hair and deep brown eyes but I don't feel anything for him at the moment. All I feel right now is confusion. Over the years I have learned to have a "court mask", as Loki calls it, which means I plaster a smile on my face for the entire night and burying any feelings; I am a doll for the rest of the night. We enter the ball room, and the herald is about to announce us, when I ask him not too.
"Nonsense, my dear, let them all see us, let them be jealous of me with the most beautiful lady on my arm." He says and leans over and kisses my cheek, "as you were, my good sir" I nod to the herald and he sees that I am hesitant, but he knows it is his job.
"Lady f/n, and Sir Valdemar" the herald announces, and we walk in. Loki is standing with Thor and his parents and all turns to see us as we walk in.
"My dear, you look lovely. I adore that charming blush on your cheeks and that glorious smile; almost as if you are glowing." He whispers to me.
We reach the point of the carpet where we are to bow and curtsy to the royal family and do. I nod and look at Thor, Frigga, Odin, and as Loki and I lock eyes we both smile slightly. I cannot break his stare. Loki has the same glow on his cheeks.
Of all the people you agreed to attend the ball with, you had to pick that imbecile?
Loki...
You left me in the library...
I know, I'm sorry... I just didn't think I could face you
Why not love? You are beautiful tonight
Thank you, Your Highness
Valdemar and I walk over to the rest of the warriors and Sif, and I introduce him to everyone and their dates for the evening. Introductions are made, and we each grab some champagne. We chat and take time to get to know each other better, but I find my thoughts drifting away as I am a little bored with Valdemar and his conversations. He is trying so hard to fit in with the Warriors when he really has only sparred with us once. Maybe if I hadn't done anything with Loki this afternoon, I would feel differently...
We need to talk about this thing between us, f/n. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since this afternoon in the library.
Loki please, not now.
When?
Later Loki...
But darling...
Ignoring his telepathy, I focus on my friends, and probably act too happy, like I am trying to hide something. Fandral and Sif come over to me to inquire as to what is wrong, but I assure them that everything is fine, but I just have a little headache. My answer does not satisfy them, but they both know me well enough to drop the subject for now and telling me that if I need to talk about anything, they are willing to listen. Smiling at them, we rejoin the group and begin to dance. I find myself looking at Loki far too often than usual at dances. It's probably because we aren't together in the same group like we usually are.
How can I tell them? How can I talk to anyone about my confusion? I wish my mom was here...
Valdemar is a good dancer and great companion for the night. We talk, laugh, drink, and have a good time, but something isn't quite right and I realize it's because I have not been able to spend enough time with Loki. Lost in my thoughts, and pretending to be listening to whatever Valdemar is prattling on about, I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder
"Lady F/n, would you do me the honor of this dance?" Loki purrs to me and I cannot help but smile.
Completely caught off guard, I run through my mind what I could say to politely decline, but now I cannot since every eye in the Hall has turned in our direction. I curtsy and Loki bows.
"It would be my pleasure, your Highness." I smile and take Loki's offered arm.
As we have so many times, effortlessly we glide across the dance floor. Loki is an excellent dancer and many of the court ladies swoon in jealousy that I am the one dancing with a prince, even one with Loki's reputation. They are also swooning because they never really paid attention to him, and now they see what a wonderful dancer he is. Several of the court gentlemen are whispering and watching too, many know who I am because of growing up with the princes, but this dance has made them take note. No one has joined in because they are too enthralled with our dance. We need no words, and do not use any telepathy, we know what we are feeling for each other and we are pretty sure that everyone else can sense it. Our steps are perfectly in time with each other as we stare into each other's eyes.
But he told me he was trying to get someone's attention...Is that why he asked me to dance? So he could show off to her, whoever she is? But what about our date the other night? Did he just go with me to annoy Cedrin?
After the dance, Loki leads me from the floor but before we can speak, Valdemar grabs my arm and pulls back to the floor. Over his shoulder I can see Loki watching the both of us; once again our steps are effortless and perfect, but the dance is not the same. Others have joined in and the night continues with me dancing with Fandral, Hogan, Valdemar, and other gentleman. Loki and I were only able to share the one dance, but that was all we needed.
Long into the ball and after a while I state that I am going to head back to my chambers. Only being able to dance with Loki once, I am sure that he is making it more in his mind; like I was purposely avoiding him. But he did dance with other ladies tonight; funny though, the only one he danced with more than once was Sif. Could she be the one he is after? Hmmmm.. He did say that I knew who it was. I do get a small jealous pang, but if she is who he loves, then I cannot be anything but happy for them.
A small part of me was trying to avoid dancing further with Loki so that was one good thing about Valdemar; then there was the part of me that wanted to run to Loki's arms and kiss him all night. Bidding everyone good night, I leave the ball room with Valdemar walking with me. He offers me his arm, and I feel obliged to take it.
"Did you hear me my dear?" Valdemar asks, "Are you alright?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I just was daydreaming... could you repeat what you said?"
"I was wondering if you would like to go get a cocktail in town?"
"Oh, ummmm... I would, but I do not think that tonight would be the best. I am a little tired."
"Tomorrow then, and I will not take no for an answer..." he says and I nod.
"You know, I think I am going to go for a walk in the gardens." I say hoping that he would get the hint and let me go alone; but he does not.
Instead he escorts me to my pink bench which we both sit on.
"Did you have a nice time at the ball?" he asks me. I nod. Before I can say anything else, he has moved his lips onto mine in a forceful kiss.
Where has she gone off too, Loki thinks. I need to speak with her about what happened this afternoon and our dance; I cannot wait any longer.
His long strides take him outside of the palace to the grounds. He keeps getting stopped by members of the court who want to speak with him briefly. Loki is cordial, but he has other things on his mind.
Why does everyone want to speak with me now as I am trying to find her; can they not tell I am in a hurry?... I cannot wait any longer, I need to tell her.
He stops and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in and out; he focuses on me and feels a pull to the bench.
Ah yes, the pink bench I created for her. She always loved going there to think and I do too. Sitting on that bench makes me feel closer to her, and I know how much she loves it.
Loki quickens his pace to get to the bench. He wants to talk to me, but he is not sure what he would say, or should say.
We never had a chance to dance a second time tonight since Thor kept pulling me away to dance with the court bubbleheads. Not to mention that dolt Valdemar kept close tabs on her throughout the night. Who wouldn't though? She is something to be treasured, and I am more certain than ever of my feelings for her. I only hope that I am not too late, could she have developed feelings for him this night? I hope that she did not fall in love with Valdemar.
Smiling to himself, he begins to walk even faster.
I am going to tell her...we will sit facing each other on the bench, I will take her hands in mine and stare into her eyes. Once I tell her, I will place one of my hands on her beautiful face and gently pull her lips to mine in a kiss that will seal our relationship, claiming her as mine. Oh I cannot wait to hold her hands, or to kiss her lips again.
But as Loki approaches the bench he sees something that causes his stomach to drop to his knees. Valdemar and I are sharing a kiss! He cannot look, but he cannot look away. How is this possible? A scream of anger comes from deep inside of him and the sound echoes across the grounds. Feeling the hot tears fall, Loki turns from the garden and runs back to his rooms. Fuming with anger, and unable to keep his telepathy under control, he manages to destroy a few things on his way down the hall. Statues fall from their pedestals, and windows shatter. He turns and restores the items he destroys, then enters his room, slams his door and flops on to his bed.
Meanwhile, back at the bench...