Loki turns to me with shock in his eyes and large smile on his face as Fandral and I stand in the door. He moves to me, shakes Fandral's hand, bows, and I curtsy, then I take his hand and we begin. Slowly at first, but soon we are waltzing as we normally do, and have since these dances began for him. Not long into the dance I begin to fatigue.
We shall cut this short for you love..I can see that you are in pain and tiring. You didn't need to return.
Yes I did...for you.
We need to talk
I know...
Loki still cuts the dance short, and we leave the dance floor. My mom comes over and grabs me into a hug right away. She knows that I am in some pain, and for the moment she is putting her annoyance with Loki aside. She knows that I did what I did for him, and there was no way to talk me out of it.
"Are you ok?" she asks, and I nod while wiping some tears of pain away. "are you sure? You didn't need to do that, you need to put your health and safety first..."
Smiling at my mom, I wipe some additional tears, and give her a hug; Loki is moving back over to me after having been stopped by Thor.
"Mom, can you forgive him for what he did?" I ask, "you know that we always got into mischief, and you know it wasn't just him...I could have stopped him, but I wanted to go with him and see what he had planned. Loki is my best friend and is always full of surprises."
She reaches up and touches my face, and then speaks.
"Sometimes I forgot how headstrong you can be...I should have know that you wouldn't just stay in bed." she says, "yes I will forgive him, but you have to tell me how you feel about him. "
Loki approaches and bows to both my mom and me. My mom gives him a hug, and pulls back.
"My prince, forgive me, you know what she means to me, and I know how determined she can be, and if she really wanted to stay in her room the other day, she would have." She continues, "I am sorry for what I did to you and what I said to you...please accept my apology"
Loki is shocked, no one has ever really apologized to him, he is used to having people treat him poorly, never receiving and apology and just moving on.
"Lady Kathalia, Thank you." he says, "I hope you know that I would never do anything to hurt your daughter. She is my best friend."
Loki offers me his arm and we walk slowly over to the others. They are talking about my singing and ask where I got the song. Loki stiffens.
"Oh, I read it in a book of poetry...Not sure who the author was, but the words are beautiful, aren't they?"
"They are, if there are more, I would love to read the book..." Sif asks and I shrug.
"You would have to check the library Sif, really I just found it on a table and starting reading it." I lie, "I left it in the library, but this one poem stuck with me."
Loki breathes a sigh of relief. Like he was afraid that I was going to give his secret away; and he winks at me. After a few more moments of chatting with the warriors, I excuse myself to go back to my room.
"I shall go with you," Loki says, and I shake my head.
"Loki, you can't, this party is for you." I hug him and then tell him that we will talk more tomorrow.
Bidding good night to my friends, and my mom, I walk out in the hallway, and find that I need to sit down and rest for a moment. I sit in the one window alcove, that looks out over the grounds but it is a collage of beautiful colors. As I gaze over the grounds, I feel a calm and peace envelop me. Every now and then someone stops and says hello, or chats for a moment. But once they leave, I turn and look out of over the grounds again. I don't know how long I sat there, but I decide that I probably should get back to my room.
"Lady F/n, nice to see you out..." Gorm says and sits next to me.
"Thank you, it's nice to be out. " I respond, "I must thank you for your heroic actions pulling me from the pile of rubble."
"You are too kind Lady F/n, it really was the Prince with his ability to lift the rubble using magic" he says and then presses me for more information, "I was not aware that he was able to do such spells or that he had such power, were you?"
"Oh Gorm, I think there are many things about the Prince we do not know," I say and see that Loki has left the ball room and is heading right to me. "and that's part of the fun in being his friend"
Smiling at him I wave and then continue my response to Gorm.
"He is very smart, and is well on his way to being a Master of Magic..." I say, "but as his guard these are all things of which you know."
"I hear the same of you, milady..." he says just as Loki approaches.
"Good evening your Highness, Happy Birthday" Gorm says and excuses himself to go back to duty.
Loki helps me stand, offers me his arm and walks me back to my rooms where we chat for a bit.
"Do you need assistance?" he asks.
"No, but..." I say, " I don't want to be alone right now. Can you stay with me a little bit?"
He seems shocked at my request, but quickly agrees to sit with me. He changes his clothes and starts a fire as I put my pajamas on and crawl into my bed. Loki is sitting by the fireplace in my room with some tea, and gotten his green blanket that he has left with me since the injury.
"Loki, it's ok, you can sit on the bed with me..." I say, and he grins.
"As long as you are ok with that..."
"Yes I am." I say.
He climbs in next to me and pulls the covers up. I move and curl up on his chest as he sits. He reaches over and grabs his book.
"So, you read my poems?" he says.
Not sure of the best way to respond because I do not know if he is upset or just making an observation.
"I did" I respond "the morning that you woke next to me and left so quickly, the book was still on the nightstand. I needed something to keep busy, so I started reading them and was immediately caught up in them. I didn't know you wrote poetry. I still don't know why you left me so quickly that morning."
"Well I didn't know you sang, so I suppose we are even on the keeping of those secrets." He says, "what about you and Cedrin?"
"What about it?"
"Was he your date for the evening?"
"Why did you leave so early that morning?"
"You first..." Loki says and smiles.
"No, he asked me and I said no but I would see him there." I continue, "It would have been too difficult to explain my gift to you, as well as having to dance with you..."
"Yes you did have me worried for a moment. I think Odin was surprised that I didn't have anyone else to dance with."
"Well?" I say, and he sighs. He knows that I will not let this drop, I want his answer.
"I was embarrassed," he says, "the things I did to you as I was waking were things that I... I should not have done. And I was afraid you thought that I always wake with someone in my arms...and then I was afraid that you would take things the wrong way, or ..."
"Loki, I know you better than that, and you have nothing about to be embarrassed" I say, "what do you mean 'the wrong way'?"
"You are not angry?" I shake my head and he sighs in relief.
I cannot bring myself to admit that I actually enjoyed him laying next to me, and how he woke up that morning. We laugh and continue to talk, and I find myself drifting to sleep. It's so comfy lying up against Loki; I feel safe and content. He begins to read more poems to me.
She's so precious to me, one of the most important people in my life. The past few days away from her have been torture for me. I think I want to marry her, but we are still so young. Besides, why would she ever choose me? Even just to court me, she would be so much better off with someone else... I might need to find a way to let her go. I have always been told that I am not the lovable one, so I should just accept that I will not be king, and will never marry.
My mom comes in and sees us on my bed, me curled up on Loki and him reading. She opens the door and startles Loki, but I am sound asleep.
"Lady Kathalia, I ... I am so sorry," he begins and tries to move but doesn't want to wake me, "this isn't what it looks like...."
"Loki, I know." She says softly, "you both have slept in the same bed numerous times over the years. Should I have reason to think this time is different?"
Loki shakes his head vehemently.
"Your reaction is indicative that something might be different..."
Her statement makes Loki even more uncomfortable. He gets up quickly from the bed, but I still sleep. My mom looks over to me.
"Did you give her another draught?" she asks, and Loki shakes his head.
"No, I think she is just tired" Loki says. "and finally felt safe enough to sleep. We.... We talked about a few misunderstandings we have had lately."
She nods in approval and then turns slightly serious to him.
"Loki, I must ask you what your intentions are with my daughter," she says and he gets nervous.
"I should be leaving...." Loki moves to leave
"Loki, I would like to talk about this...I know how you took her to stand outside during the ball the other night, and I know that you were waiting for her to dance with earlier tonight. It's quite obvious to me that you care for her...and I think she cares for you too. I just want to know what to expect"
"I ... I...." Loki stammers. This is not the conversation he wants to have. Loki starts to get nervous and anxious.
My mom persists in the conversation with Loki to the extent that he starts to get upset, and have some anxiety issues. He drops to the floor, and suddenly changes.
She can't mean that, she doesn't care for me other than friendship...She would be so much better off with someone else other than me. Being with me would ruin her life, and she deserves so much more than me. I am a monster, I am not lovable.
Loki's vision clouds, and he feels as though his hearing is fading out; he is not present in my room anymore. He skin slowly begins to turn blue, and his eyes turn red; he also begins to shake.
Frigga, I have upset Loki unintentionally, please come.
Frigga doesn't respond but teleports in to the room immediately. She sees Loki on the floor, shaking and clutching his legs. She puts her arms around him to calm him and then proceeds to explain that Loki is trying to get rid of being Jotun and has a better control over it to the extent that his Asgardian self is more him. He tends to turn blue when he is upset or anxious or when something bothers him so much he loses control and changes. Kathalia explains what happens and apologizes to Loki and Frigga. Eventually Loki calms, returns to his normal appearance and they all stand. Kathalia apologizes to Loki. Just then I roll over and see that they are all staring at me. Loki looks pale and his shirt is covered in sweat.
"What happened?" I ask, "Is my side bleeding again? Loki are you ok?"
I try to maneuver so I can see my side, but to no avail.
"No dear, everything is fine." My mom says.
"Love, I am going to head back to my rooms. I shall see you tomorrow for breakfast. Please save me a seat..." Loki barely whispers.
He seems embarrassed, nervous, and outwardly frightened-but of what?
"Are you sure?" I ask and he nods. "You can stay if you want..."
"I am not really feeling well, and I do not want to risk passing any illness on to you..." he says, and kisses my cheek, leaving his lips to linger a little longer.
"I need to tell you something..." he whispers in my ear
Loki and his mother leave the room, and I turn to my mom.
"Mom, what happened?"
She moves the covers back up to my neck and tells me to sleep and we can talk more in the morning. Still so tired from tonight and the past few days I fall back to sleep quickly.