--------- Chapter 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Why did you come?” Haden moans for the umpteenth time. One of his servants is dressing him, and I decided that I didn’t dare sit in the room I was offered alone, so I came here instead. Haden was in his boxers for the longest time. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. That boy has the most beautiful body. Ever. Period!
“I’m tired of being...me. It’s time I stood up for myself. And I didn’t want you to have to do this on your own. I mean, I kind of am the reason that you were...sent away,” I mumble quietly.
Haden gives me a small smile as his servant crouches down to fix his pants. I’m assuming he did quite a bit of growing since he was last here.
“So this is your room, huh?” I murmur to change the topic.
“Decadent, no?” he teases.
“Hell yeah! I always wondered why every mansion we lived in had to be so...over the top! But I guess to you...they weren’t really all that grand, huh?” I muse.
“Yeah. This was my home for the longest time. Everything I know, well almost anyway, was learnt here. My tutors were amazing. But I learnt more whenever I snuck out of the castle. I hated it here...for the most part,” he admits, shrugging.
“Why? It’s amazing! It’s the life everyone dreams of!” I challenge. He’s basically a prince. Who wouldn’t kill for that?
“Sure it’s luxurious and all. But there’s no personal touch to anything. It’s a castle, but barely a home. I always felt trapped, like I wasn’t allowed to exert my free will. That’s why I snuck out so much. I longed to be normal, to be able to play with the other boys without my father investigating what their lineage was. He deemed almost everyone unworthy of my time. It was lonely Jess. So when I became a reaper, I finally had a measure of control. I was allowed to leave Persephone...and...” he trails off, looking uncomfortable.
“And what Haden?” I encourage.
“Being a reaper is hard, Jess. The only certainty in my everyday life was someone’s death. It’s a downer, to put things lightly,” he mumbles, looking sad again.
I wrap my arms around his waist. I don’t know what to say...how can I say anything? Obviously there isn’t anything positive to say about him being a reaper. Yeah, he’s doing his duty and stuff, but...he’s basically killing people, isn’t he?
He kisses the top of my head tenderly, giving me a hug back.
“I wish I had met you when we were younger,” he mumbles wistfully.
“Dude! What are you talking about? We’ve known each other since I was 12!” I correct him.
“Yeah, but...I mean, I wish you grew up here too. I think I would have snuck out to see you so often...” he trails off his warm breath tickling my ears making me shudder in excitement.
I tip toe so my lips meet his surprised one. In a matter of moments, he’s all lust. He kisses me passionately making me moan slightly. Damn! He’s a bloody good kisser! When we pull apart, I’m breathing heavily. Haden winks at me, grinning at my reaction.
“Haden, what’s a death dealer?” I ask tentatively.
“Okay, umm...you see, a reaper escorts the soul of the departed to my father’s dominion. Usual reapers don’t actually...throw the final hit, you know? That’s the death dealers job. Usually a death dealer and a reaper would be partners, because neither could work without the other. Without the death dealer, the reaper wouldn’t be able to land that hit or whatever to kill the person. And without the reaper, the death dealers power remains locked,” he explains quietly.
“Oh. Okay,” I chirp. It isn’t too bad. I have to admit, when Carter mentioned the whole ask Haden about the death dealer bit, I was slightly afraid.
“Jess, death dealers are usually enmortals too, but of a lower rank. It’s a privilege being a reaper,” he continues.
“Okay,” I repeat, a little confused. I didn’t ask for the details.
“Sometimes though, humans are selected to be death dealers. And it’s a big deal, they’re important,” he breathes, looking tensed. “Jess, the reason I’m in so much trouble is...Dominique was supposed to be a death dealer. The only human death dealer in the last 500 hundred years,” he admits.
I immediately close my eyes. My brother was special, I always knew that. But the last thing I want to be doing, is to be talking like this about Dominique...with Haden.
“Jessy...there’s a possibility that you’re a death dealer too,” he murmurs softly.
I gasp in shock, my eyes opening wide. What the fcuk?! He can’t spring something like this on me.
“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you in a more...in a lighter way. But I’m afraid that it might be mentioned during dinner with my parents. I don’t want you to be shocked or anything,” he murmurs, taking a step towards me.
“No! Haden, you said that a death dealer is normal unless with a reaper, right? I don’t want this! I want to be normal Haden,” I whisper.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. Jess, I’m not an ordinary reaper. I don’t need a death dealer, that’s why I’m the foremost. Because of that, you never have to be a death dealer. Just stay with me,” he begs.
I swallow quickly. I don’t know what to do! But I’ve already established that I cannot get by without Haden...
“Okay,” I whisper.
Haden’s relaxes slightly allowing himself to sigh in relief.
“So, now what? Are you like allowed to go back? Or do you have to stay here forever?” I ask uncertainly.
“Of course we’ll go back. You really think I would abandon you to stay here? I don’t work like that,” he murmurs, holding a hand out for me. I take it and he pulls me into his embrace, holding me against his chest.
“I’m afraid,” I admit, closing my eyes.
“That makes the two of us. But we’ll make it through this,” he assures, kissing the top of my head. “I actually wanted to talk to you about the whole pregnancy thing,” he begins, looking a little uncomfortable.
Haden dismisses his servant and sits me down on his large bed. He kneels down in front of me and takes my hands in his. “Jess, umm, the night after the formals...we didn’t sleep together. I didn’t want to take advantage of you,” he whispers, shrugging.
“But...we must have! I was in my knickers...” I trail off. No! We must have slept together. Any guy would have jumped a willing girl, right? What more if the guy claims to love the girl?! “Oh my god! I really was that bad?” I moan, covering my face in embarrassment.
“Jessy! Listen to me! We did not sleep together. I wanted, well obviously not your first time, but our first time to be when you were sober and completely willing and wanting. You had a hot flush and well...you kind of gave me a pretty hot show,” he teases, prying my hands away from my face. “I’m sorry for leading you on, making you think we slept together. But you said that you didn’t feel like a slut after...and I didn’t...I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t know what to tell you,” he murmurs, grinning ruefully.
“Haden, you must be the most decent person on earth! You struggled to tell me that you didn’t sleep with me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I love you,” I whisper, leaning in to give him a kiss. He gives me a peck before pulling back. I have to admit I was expecting something slightly more steamy than that!
“You, my gorgeous love, are distracting me!” he accuses sourly. “The whole pregnancy thing...I know the baby is Carter’s. But I don’t want you to have to go through the whole pregnancy alone. Even happily married women with their husband’s support find it difficult. And things are going to be triple as hard for you; you’re young, you’re still in school and the baby’s father is a prick. You’ll be treated like crap and everyone will judge you. But your baby will have it worse, a bastard child. I guess what I’m trying to say is...I’m here,” he whispers.
“I don’t understand,” I murmur after a moment. He’s here? What does that mean?
Haden blushes a bright red and looks like he just sucked a lemon. “Darn it Jessica Aubry, you’re making this extremely difficult for me! I’m trying to say that you don’t have to deal with the pregnancy alone. And you don’t have to raise the child as a single mother. And your kid doesn’t have to be born out of wedlock...I’m-”
“Oh my God! Haden...are you saying what I think you’re saying? You mean...a...like you and me? But...we’re teenagers! Is that even legal? And are you sure?” I stammer, my heart beat accelerating.
“I’m not actually. I don’t know what I’m doing. But if by proposing to you and marrying you, things get simpler for you...then I’m sure. I’m not pressuring you or anything. It’s just an option,” he mumbles, taking my surprise as hesitation.
“Haden I love you. I really do. But I don’t want you to marry me because you feel like it’s your responsibility. Besides, I’m 17...I’m not ready for that...” I trail off.
“I know. But you’re going to be a mum...and like it or not, from now on things can’t be all about you. You have to think about the baby,” he murmurs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Haden...I don’t want to keep the baby,” I whisper after a moment, stiffening. I have no clue how he’s going to react! Does he want me to keep it? Should I? What if I’m a lousy mum? Or what if Haden hates me for the rest of his life because he’s forcing himself to do this? What if we’re not compatible?