NICOLE
A pit formed in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't from excitement but from regret. I allowed myself to take advantage of Halo's kindness towards me.
What have I done?
I pulled away in less than a second and Halo jumped away from the bed. He rubbed his palms against his thighs and touched his lips in disbelief.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Halo was only pretending to be my boyfriend. There was no way we liked each other. I hugged myself in denial. My body knew I did that out of curiosity.
It probably wasn't the same for Halo. If that was the case, why did he look so guilty? Why did I allow Halo to kiss me? What did the kiss mean? Did Halo like me more than just a friend?
"I'm so sorry," Halo said before running out of my room.
As he left, I slowly felt dizzy. My body felt icy, and I craved a particular warmth. I felt a fresh wave of guilt because it wasn't Halo's warmth I wanted.
But I let him kiss me.
Maybe I should run after him and apologise, but my body was too heavy. The pills Jessi made me take after eating were taking effect. My body fought the medicine. I wanted to do more than sleep.
Halo deserved an apology. He was probably wondering why I let him kiss me. I had all the time in the world to avoid that kiss. The look on his face before he ran out of the room told me how surprised he was. I blamed myself so much that I'd rather not sleep.
There was also a part of me that was afraid of falling asleep. The dreams I've had lately keep coming back. However, I was losing the fight. The pills were too effective.
My body relaxed on the bed, and I slowly drifted away.
When I opened my eyes, I caught my raging breathing. My body was covered in sweat. Did I have a fever? I tried moving my body, and I felt a figure next to me. I pushed my body up, and I saw that Aiden was sitting on the floor next to my bed, his head on the bed.
What was the time and how long was I asleep?
On the bedside stool was a bowl of water and a wet towel. I subconsciously touched my forehead. Did Aiden take care of my fever all night, or was he next to me because that was the only way he could sleep?
From the light snore, I realised everyone was sleeping on the floor of my bedroom. My eyes grew moist from the affection. They all stayed with me. I probably would have stayed up all night if not for the pills. I spotted Mia and Jessi on the right side of my bed, and Jonas and Oliver on the left.
Seeing this made me happy. I never got extra furniture and let the space stay empty. I never knew I would have people like them in my life. This was possible because of Aiden.
I avoided looking at him, but now that he was asleep, I could look at him to my heart's content. While I stared, the weight on my chest got heavier. I still remember my kiss with Halo, but looking at Aiden made me regret it even more.
Speaking of Halo, where was he? Did he leave already?
I climbed out of the bed to make sure. If he left after what happened, I would regret it forever. It was barely a week after I reunited with him and I used him for so many things. I lied that he was my boyfriend and kissed him when I had feelings for someone else.
My subconscious showed me that I was like that with Aiden too. I only got involved with him because I was lonely and I wanted to forget my Ex. I got what I wanted, but I fell for him. Now I can never have him because he was getting married to someone else.
I knew that Aiden and I could never happen. Especially after he said we should be friends. However, I never expected him to have a fiance soon. As soon as I realised my feelings for him, I received the most brutal heartbreak.
"You're awake?" Halo said, surprising me. "It's not even 4 am,"
I turned on the lights in my living room to see him seated on my couch playing a game. How long has he been playing games in the dark? He was live streaming, but luckily, I wasn't in the frame.
"Guys, my sick friend is awake. I gotta go," Halo said to the people on the livestream and ended it.
Halo paused the game and turned to smile at me. Things were very awkward, so I couldn't smile back. Was he pretending the kiss didn't happen? I hoped he was still here so we could talk about it, but his smile insinuated we didn't talk about it.
If we avoided the topic, it would be a problem in the future.
"Don't look at me like that Noir, I feel guilty as it is," Halo said.
"Oh thank God," I breathed out.
"Why?"
"I thought you would pretend it didn't happen,"
"Unlike what my sister would say, I'm not a child,"
Halo tapped on the space next to him on the couch and I went and sat next to him.
"I'll be honest with you because I want our friendship to last for a long time," he said. "The truth is, I like you, but not like you think. After you disappeared, I realised you were the only real friend I ever had. I always thought about you and I was willing to do anything to support you, even if it meant becoming your lover. Yes, I did think about that a lot."
"I'm surprised," I said honestly.
Until I read his old messages, I never considered the possibility of Halo like me. However, it was easy to understand him. He waited so long for me and continued our friendship like we were apart for two months.
"After seeing the people you have around you, I'm relaxed." Halo took my hand. "I know they've got your back as much as I do. I don't want anything else from you other than being your friend. I'm sorry if that kiss ruined everything."
"It's ok. I feel guilty too because it feels like I used you," I replied.
"You can use me for anything Noir. just not for that. I could end up dying before my time,"
"What do you mean?" I laughed.
"I know you like my cousin,"
"Oh,"
A blush immediately crept to my cheeks. Was I that obvious?
"I don't know what the real situation is, so I can't really help you. Our family is kinda complicated," he said.
"Mine too," I replied.
"Aiden and I are rivals in everything, but I don't want to fight for you with him. It won't be pretty,"
"Do you think you could steal me away from him?"
"If I wanted to steal you away, I could, but I don't want to do that. You'll end up hating me if I hurt him,"
It felt like he was withdrawing for my sake, but his uneasiness told me otherwise. Halo and Aiden fought like brothers. I was jealous of Aiden when I knew he had Jessi, but he had Halo, too. I was alone with no one to bicker with for a long time.
"You sound like you have something against him though," I teased.
"No, I don't," he scratched his head.
"I saw you guys nearly rip each other's throats,"
"That was because he hurt you. Do you know how pissed I was when the article came out? How hard is it to avoid cameras?"
"Is that all?" I smirked.
Halo gasped at me before frowning. I laughed at him for a good minute before he gave in. He looked really cute when he sulked.
"It's never one thing." He admitted. "We've fought over everything for as long as I can remember. The only thing we agree on is our love for Jessi. You don't know how petty he really is. Aiden refused to let me join the Dev team for Battle for Stars because he was afraid I'd steal his spotlight. I'm in charge of the lab department now though."
"You work for ZEN?" I asked.
"Yeah, I test their software for faults and stuff. I work remotely so they don't see me much."
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "How did all of you end up working there?"
"The Five of us actually built Battle for Stars," Halo replied.
My jaw dropped. I finally understand why Halo knew more about the game than most players. He said it was because he was one of the beta testers.
"Five?"
"Aiden, Jessi and Jonas built the game, and Oliver designed the characters. I wrote some of the story with Jessi and tested it"
"You never told me you made the game,"
"Technically, I was just a testing guy. It wasn't my idea at all,"
"Still, you could have told me. I would have applied for an internship and met you sooner,"
"Sorry,"
I let out a sigh of relief. Now that things were settled with Halo, I felt better. It was then that I had the time to look around my living room. My workspace was back to the way it used to be.
"You can't slack off." Aiden's voice sounded in my head.
Oliver came in with the equipment, but I didn't expect them to set it up so soon. Halo forced me to go to bed before I could see the contents. The setup was like my mother's visit never happened.
"Did you guys do this?" I asked, sinking into the new seat.
Halo got up and walked over to my side. We turned on the screen and I gasped. Everything looked the same. Even the lock screen and widget layout were the same on every monitor.
"Aiden set it up himself. He had a little help from Oliver, though. They worked on it till late in the night and Oliver had to sleep here," Halo told me.
"Aiden set this up for me?" I asked, to be sure.
He'd only been here a few times, and he knew everything. My heart thumped wildly in my chest. Aiden knew the wallpapers on each monitor and he was so kind to me. How would I stop thinking about him when he pulled shit like this?
It wasn't fair!
My chest felt warm and I could feel a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill. All I could do was cry. My friends were doing so much to support me. Would I be able to do the same for them when it mattered?
"Do you want to play a game?" Halo asked.
"Sure!" I nodded, quickly wiping the tears that escaped my eyelids.
He went back to the couch and finished his previous game before starting a new one with me. My house was filled with people I never expected to have in my life.
A few months ago, it was just me and Mia. After Aiden came around, so did Jessi, Jonas and later Oliver. Then I got Halo back, and he's related to Jessi and Aiden. My life couldn't be better.
These were the friends I dreamed of having growing up. After all these years, I finally had a friend group.
Halo and I played different rounds of games until it was dawn. Sun slowly creeped into my apartment living room and everyone woke up one after the other.
Mia was the first to wake up because she had to get some writing done before leaving for work. I spoke to her about the possibility of her writing the story for the new game ZEN was making.
"Are you asking her to do it?" Aiden's deep voice came from the door of my bedroom.
My body froze, and I avoided looking at him for ten seconds.
"Aiden, when did you wake up?" I asked nervously.
"A while ago. I had to send an email for work." he pushed Halo aside to sit down on the couch even though there was a lot of space on the couch for him.
Mia stifled her laughter from the kitchen coucher where she was typing away a minute ago.
"She actually gave me the idea for the pitch. That's why I thought she could do it," I replied.
"Can you do it Mia?" he asked.
"I'm getting paid, right?"
"Close to six figures for the full thing,"
Aiden's voice held so much command and pride. It was so early in the morning, but he was already in business mode. He sounded like he was bragging, but that was a lot more money than most companies pay writers for a full project.
"No way!" Mia exclaimed. "I'd never have to work for a year with money like that. Should I switch careers?"
"But what about your film?" I asked.
"You're right," she replied. "I'll use the money well so I can focus on finishing my screenplay and novels,"
"So is that a yes?" Aiden asked.
"Do you have a contract?" she asked.
"It'll be sent to you once we have approved the budget,"
"Wow!" Mia exclaimed, giving me a thumbs up.
What was she doing that for? A thumbs up meant 'I approve', but why would she approve of Aiden? I thought she hated Aiden. When did they get so close? Did something happen between them when I was asleep? I had too many questions, but I pushed them down for later.
"Halo, you up for another round?" I asked.
Aiden broke out into a series of loud coughing. I turned around to see Halo and Mia try to hide their laugh.
"Round of what?" Aiden asked, and I immediately started blushing.
Did he think I meant something else? Why was he so dirty-minded?
"Game!" Halo exclaimed. "We're playing Battle for Stars,"
"Oh," Aiden replied with a tinge of shame. "Can I play?"
"You know how to play battle for stars?" I asked.
"How could I not? I made the game and I play it often. You need me on your team. I'm really good,"
"I don't believe you. What's your server rank?"
"Number one, of course,"
"No way!" I turned to Halo to see if it was true. "Tell me he's lying. We've been trying to defeat that bastard in number one for years,"
"That bastard is me," Aiden insisted.
I couldn't believe it. The person on the top of the server since this game was created is a player named Siren. Gamers say if you go against Siren, the defeat would be so brutal you would go back on three levels. Halo and I planned on challenging him together, but we were near strong enough.
Siren had a 100% win rate and has been consistent for seven years. The top three ranks were still the same when I got back. The bastard was still number one.
Halo avoided my gaze, which meant it was probably true. He said they were rivals in everything. Did that include gaming too? Halo was a professional gamer and Aiden made games. Why would they compete in a game? I knew of several game companies that barely plate their own games.
"I don't believe it," I said. "Login right now and show me,"
Aiden smirked and went to a corner of the room, where he kept a familiar small suitcase. It was the same one he brought when he tried moving in with me weeks ago. From the bag, he pulled out his laptop and logged into Battle for Stars. I waited a bit for his profile to load.
When it did, he dropped the laptop on my desk to show me his profile and my jaw dropped.
"I showed you mine. Now show me yours," he said directly in my ear.
My face began to hit up. It was so early. Why was it suddenly so hot? He did not have to come so close to me to tell me that. Aiden wasn't lying, he really was Siren.
"Holy shit," I muttered. "You do know how to play,"
"Hurry and tell me yours," he said.
"Noir flame,"
"Huh?"
"That's my username,"
"Wait a minute, are you Halo's gaming partner? Rank number three?"
"You know me?"
"How can I not?" he scoffed. "Halo bragged about how good you were for years, but I noticed you stopped playing for a while,"
"I should write a movie about your life, Nicole," Mia said from the kitchen counter.
"I'm sure it'll be a bestseller. If Jessi is in the top five server rank as well, I'll scream,"
"I'm too lazy for the top five," Jessi said, walking into the living room.
She went straight for the glass of water in front of Mia and took a long sip.
"Try top ten," she winked.
"Top ten?" I said in shock. "She is in the top ten?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Halo said, finally finding his ability to speak.
"Are you all gamers in your family?" I asked.
"Sort of." Halo smiled. "We all had shitty parents, but Jessi's first boyfriend was a gamer and I have been a gamer since I was ten. When things were tough, we'd run away to play cool games. Jonas came with us too,"
"Ah, the good old days," Jessi sighed.
"Is that why you started ZEN?" I asked Aiden.
"I actually had no intention of starting ZEN. We made battle for stars because I was high as shit. I code a lot when I'm high,"
I nearly laughed, but then I remembered I was similar. I hacked into the accounts of those I didn't like when I got wasted.
"Jessi liked the idea, so we took a vacation to the house where I now live and made the game. The game was a surprising hit, and we got a lot of money from it. That is when I thought to start ZEN,"
It felt like there was more to the story, but I accepted the part he was willing to share. There was no way I'd believe he started a multi-billion dollar company because he was too drunk to know better.
"Let's play together," Jessi said. "I have my laptop with me,"
"No!" Halo exclaimed.
"I'm playing with you. Only Noir,"
"Stop calling her that and I want in too," Aiden said.
Halo continued to fight back, but he was bullied from both sides. Jessi was infuriated and yelled at him to change his mind, but Halo was just as stubborn as the three of them. I watched them fight, grateful for this moment, but we all paused when we heard yelling coming from my room.
"What was that?" Mia asked.
"It wasn't me," Aiden and Halo say simultaneously.
We all turned towards my bedroom door, suddenly remembering that Jonas and Oliver hadn't gotten up yet.
- # # # -
Song recommendation: In the End - Linkin Park