(A/N: I feel like I'm being suffocated and can't breathe rn so how's ur day going??)
(Chaos is a girl rn)
<CHAOS' POV>
Struct and I were lying down and cuddling. We both needed the comfort and had too much on our minds to do anything else. Struct closed his eyes and leaned against me, holding me tightly.
I gave a small sigh and kissed the top of his head, holding him tightly.
"We'll get through this, don't worry," I whispered softly.
"Yeah," Struct sighed, but his tone was saying otherwise.
"Don't worry," I mumbled.
Struct curled up and snuggled closer to me. I put my head on the pillows, sighing again. I fell asleep quickly as exhaustion overtook me.
When I woke up, Struct was asleep in my arms. I slowly and gently untangled myself from him -them?- and quietly got up, flashing out into the living room.
Eta was sitting spread across the couch while Dove leaned against Forger, his arm wrapped around her.
"What time is it?" I asked, yawning.
Eta and Dove shrugged.
"Around one," Forger replied.
I gave him a quick smile and sat down with a tired sigh.
"How's Alpha? Everything's good, right?" Eta asked in worry.
I nodded, tapping my fingers against the couch impatiently.
"He's sleeping right now, and yeah, everything's well right now. We talked a bit last night, I think today won't be particularly bad," I shrugged anxiously.
"Don't worry, it'll get better eventually," Dove comforted.
I smiled, sighing again. I glanced around the room in boredom, summoning a piece of ambrosia. I sat, deep in thought, slowly taking bites out of the ambrosia. I eventually turned to the others again.
"What time is it?" I asked after their conversation.
"Around two?" Dove shrugged.
I bit my lip and got up, flashing out into Struct's bedroom. He was still sleeping, tangled in his blankets. I smiled slightly as I tried to wake him up.
"Hm?" Struct groaned, putting his arm over his eyes.
"You need to get up," I laughed.
Struct groaned again and muttered something incoherently.
"What time is it?" He muttered eventually.
"Two or something," I shrugged.
Struct sighed, turning around and burying his head in his pillows. I sighed, biting my lip.
"Can't I sleep some more?" Struct asked softly, his voice muffled by the pillows.
"It's getting too late, you wouldn't want to mess up your sleep schedule more, would you? It's just gonna cause you more problems," I reasoned.
Struct groaned again, dragging himself to a sitting position and slowly opening his eyes. He yawned and unsteadily stumbled out of bed, wrapping his arms around me once he stood up.
I wrapped my arms around him as well, smiling and blushing slightly.
"Good morning," I whispered quietly, kissing the top of his head.
Struct hummed in response, yawning once more. He grabbed some clothes to change into. I left the room and went downstairs, sitting down next to the others.
"Struct's coming now," I told them.
They all shared an anxious and nervous glance, soon settling back to normal as Struct came down stairs. What surprised me was that he wasn't wearing a hoodie as usual, or long sleeves. He always wore those the hide his arms, but he was awkwardly trying to keep his arms out of view.
I could still see the bandage that we had wrapped around his arm. Struct looked down as he realized everybody was trying to see his arms. He awkwardly cleared his throat.
"Uh... hi," he greeted quietly, taking a seat next to me.
"Hey. Uh, he/him or they/them today?" Dove asked curiously.
I could nearly sigh in relief and happiness when she did, taking the focus off of Struct's cuts and scars.
Struct looked up, a little surprised.
"H-he/him. Uhm... thanks for asking," Struct answered her, smiling slightly.
Dove smiled back widely and nodded.
"No problem, it's just respectful if anything," Dove waved off.
Struct smiled at that. I quickly glanced at his arms, making sure he had no new cuts besides the most recent ones. I didn't want to stare or make him notice, so I looked away quickly.
"I'm still really sorry, for what it's worth," Eta spoke up quietly.
Struct looked at him and sighed.
"Eta- it's alright. It really, really isn't, in all honesty, but I do see your point and I know I fucked up, and I can't act like I didn't, especially considering Chaos. I was... it was a momentary thing. I honestly don't know what happened or why. But it's not... I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry I had to go and fuck things up. But I swear on the river Styx that I will never do anything like this again. I love Chaos, and my loyalty would never waver toward her. No matter how much I change, power or fame, I'll never lose my loyalty," Struct said with a bittersweet smile.
Eta looked a bit surprised, maybe a little sad.
"I truly don't mind Hermes, nobody talks about it anymore. It's all okay," Eta insisted.
"I'm glad you aren't mad at Hermes. He's not... well... he's at fault, but I'm more at fault. It's... the most recent fight, with Order... she..." Struct trailed off frustratedly.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't focus. The most recent fight is me and Order's fault both. I have to say I'm at fault for obviously for-" Struct cringed, "-kissing Hermes, but Order really had some low-blows. I think my real name-"
"Deadname," I suggested quietly.
Struct considered it for half a second before nodding.
"Yeah. The fact she used my deadname like that against me, that was what hurt the most. She confirmed all of my insecurities. I'm aware you don't agree with her, but just with her reasoning. I get it. It's all fine," Struct explained.
Eta nodded slowly.
"I really hate Order for the things she said, but we can't do much now, can we?" He added sadly.
I nodded.
"I think Dove made the best points. Struct, you missed it, but Dove really gave some good advice," I interject.
Dove blushed slightly at the praise.
"It was an obvious thing-"
"That only you were smart enough to see," I concluded.
Dove sighed happily and nodded. Struct was looking at me curiously.
"It's not too important to repeat right now, but, the point is that we should try to do something against Order. Against, with, about, whatever word you want to throw in there. We can't let this slide, and I'm sure neither can she," I say worriedly.
Struct nods thoughtfully.
"We could call a truce and talk," Forger suggested.
I considered it for a few minutes.
"I dunno... would Order be that open to talking? It's hard to guess," I sighed.
"Still, it might word, and 'might' is better than nothing," Eta shrugged.
Struct bit his lip in thought.
"Well... we kinda do have... forever to live. We outlive gods. We'll exist forever. Considering that... does make this entire thing a bit desperate. Why not wait for Order to come to us?" He asked.
"Order can hold grudges. A lot. I've seen her hold grudges for millenia, only ending when the other died. Order has no problem holding grudges and cutting people out of her life. It wouldn't be ideal or simple," I explain calmly.
Struct sighed in frustration.
"We could ask Star to talk to her, Star has always been a favorite of Order's," Eta suggested.
"Where even is she? She's supposed to be with the hunters, but we don't even know where she is," I argued.
"Let's ask Artemis. We need to order -pun not intended- gods around, and Artemis would help us loads," Struct countered.
I hesitantly nod.
"So, let's find Star, shall we?"