NICOLE
"Hey stop moving," someone whispered. "He's coming back,"
I immediately recognised the voice. He had been with me for a long time now. The room was still freezing, and I felt something tickle my nostrils. I couldn't sneeze.
If he knew I was awake, he would come back to harass me. Why was I back in this dark room again? I shifted a little in the corner where I was squatting, but my foot mistakenly kicked a steel container.
It fell down with a clang that echoed through the space. I quickly took my hand to my mouth in fear, knowing I was in trouble.
"I told you to stay quiet!" the boy snared.
The sound of rattling chains filled our ears, followed by familiar footsteps. He sounded like he was wearing really heavy boots. Nicole tried to remember what it felt like on her skin when he stepped on her. He was coming for her and she couldn't escape.
The man opened the door and let out a little moonlight into the space that held them. My breath increased as he came closer. I wish I could do something, but I couldn't do anything trapped inside this small body.
I couldn't see his face, but I knew he wore a scowl from how he walked. How was I supposed to know the can was there? I was just trying to get comfortable. As he walked towards me, I tried crawling to the bay I was staying with.
It was difficult to move because the man had tied my hands and feet as punishment for disobeying him.
"Are you two having a party here?" he asked. "Little girl, I told you to be quiet,"
My hands were still clasped against my mouth as I tried to stifle my small sobs. My throat hurt from the screaming and crying and I could still feel the ache on my back and tummy from where he stepped on me last.
"Fucking piece of trash! Get over here!" he yelled, but I only continued to move away.
He took quick strides towards me, groaning in anger in each step. Even though he was a big shadow in view, I could hear his loud breathing got closer. The man dragged my dress, but the boy pulled my leg to support me.
"You want a piece of me too?" He said to the boy. "I've got plenty for you,"
He picked up a wooden plank and dragged it to the floor. We could both barely see, but we knew where he was coming from.
"Leave her alone!" the boy yelled as he got closer.
"Shut Up!" the man yelled in response.
He was walking a lot slower now, cursing with every step. When he reached us, he went down slightly, allowing us to notice the cast on his left leg. He was injured.
"Little girl, I saw your daddy today. I'm sure he'll never walk again, so you're mine now,"
"Liar," I cried.
"Me? Are you calling me a liar?" he laughed. "Ungrateful bitch,"
The man raised the wood and brightened it down to hit me, but the boy turned me under and knelt over me. The man kept hitting and hitting, but the boy took all the pain while I cried under him.
"No one is coming for you! You're both mine now!" he screamed as he continued the beating.
I gasped and sat up in bed. The first thing I did was look around. I tried to remember where I was and how I got here, but the memory from my nightmare was still fresh in my mind. Like any other nightmare, I never seem to forget them.
When I was dreaming, it felt real. Too real. With everything that's happening, maybe it was time for me to see a therapist before it got worse. I tried to remember more from my dream, but Mia walked inside the room.
That's right. This is Mia's apartment. I didn't remember falling asleep here, but I remember running away from home again after seeing my mother. Just thinking about her filled me with a new wave of sadness.
"Nicole, don't you dare hide away in your sleep," Mia scolded as she jumped on the bed.
"I want more sleep!" I groaned.
"I know you need it, but you have to come up with a good plan before she finds you again."
"I'll stay in and think about it," I promised.
Mia kissed my forehead and got up from the bed to get dressed. All this time, she was moving around in her bra and panties. Like me, Mia Bassett was a sexy black woman. She was a lot more curvy than I was even though we wore the same size.
Instead of braids, she often styled her natural hair or had wigs installed. I tried convincing her to get cornrows once, but she said it was too painful. As I watched her dress, I wondered how far she was with her screenplay.
"Did you finish the script yet?" I asked.
"Almost done with the second draft and I'm meeting the director today,"
"The hot woman that came to the bar a few months ago?"
"Do you remember her?"
"How could I not? She bought you designers for your birthday,"
"She was just being nice,"
"She bought you things more than once, Mia. I'm sure she's trying to be your sugar mummy,"
"Nicole, stop it!"
I laughed, and it reduced some of the pain that tugged gently on my chest. The movie director had approached Mia at the bar a few months ago. When she found out Mia was a writer, they spent a lot of time together.
Their relationship was beautiful, but I knew the woman wanted more when she started buying expensive gifts for Mia. Mia would tell me about the actors and actresses she got to meet since befriending the director.
I watched Mia curl her wig and finish her makeup. When she was done, she wore a short dress with knee-length boots.
"I'm ready," she said to her reflection.
"Is it a date?" I teased.
"Nicole!"
"Fine, fine." I laughed. "You look stunning,"
"Thank you," she smiled. "There's cereal in the kitchen. Get out of bed and clean yourself up. You're too grown to let that woman bother you,"
I got up and hugged Mia, and kissed her cheek before she left. I didn't feel the loneliness until she was gone. Mia was right. I was too grown up to let my mother affect me that way.
It was difficult coming up with a plan now, but I could distract myself by playing a game. I found a socket and plugged in my laptop. There were dozens of work emails regarding the new game, but I ignored them.
I opened the Battle for Stars game and connected my portable Wi-Fi to it. My eyes lit up as I saw that my notification was crowded with battle invites. It seems that players noticed I was back and wanted to challenge me for my server rank.
However, I was in no way as swift as I used to be, so I had to practise again. I played a tutorial game and then tried a solo game to get myself back. In the first three minutes, I was back to winning.
My fingers seemed to remember the right keys to go for, but I was slow without an external mouse. I searched around Mia's apartment for one to use for my first battle, and I found one.
I moved my laptop to her writing space and created a space for myself there. Afterwards, I searched through my notifications for who to fight first. However, my search was interrupted by an in-game message. I froze when I saw who it was from.
Halo!
I groaned internally as I remembered the one thing I forgot to do. I still hadn't replied to his message. The past few days had been so exhausting that it was easy to forget parts of my life.
"Noir? Is it really you?" His message read.
I stared at the message in shock. I was also feeling guilty because I forgot to text Halo back all this time.
"If you hacked this account, count your fucking days," he texted again.
My emotions stirred up again as I saw his message. I wanted to reply that I did hack the account, but I was mine to start with. I knew what he was capable of, and it terrified me.
Before Halo froze my bank account or exposed my information online, I typed a reply.
"Halo, it's me. I'm sorry I didn't reply early." I typed.
The message showed as seen and he wasn't replying. I didn't expect him to because I was a bad friend.
"This is not an excuse, but I wanted to reply since I saw them. But I was overwhelmed and a lot has been happening. I have no excuse for being a bad friend." I typed.
The message went as seen. I waited for a few more seconds before the three dots and his profile photo started floating. He was replying. I sat down anxiously, waiting for his reply.
"Yeah, I saw the news," he replied.
I frowned at the news he was referring to. Was he talking about the article my mother showed me yesterday and all the others that have been published lately?
"Wait, you know what I look like?" I asked.
I asked because I don't remember sending in a photo.
"Yeah, I do. I've known for years. I'm Halo. What did you think would happen after you disappeared for no reason?"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I did. I saw you with your boyfriend a couple of years ago, but you didn't know it was me,"
"Do you want to meet in person?" I asked. "I feel like I really owe you an apology,"
The message stayed as seen for a full 120 seconds. There was no reply. He was online, and it had been two minutes of me waiting for a reply. Was he going to say no? Did I hurt him by not replying?
"Meet me at this address in an hour. I'll come to you in a grey hoodie," his reply came.
"Yes!" I exclaimed out loud.
My body was filled with temporary happiness, and I welcomed it. I needed a break from life, anyway. I immediately took a screenshot of his message and sent it to Mia, then I rushed inside the bathroom.
While I was undressing, my phone rang. I answered it and leaned the phone on her bathroom sink since it was FaceTime.
"He replied?!" she exclaimed.
"I was so nervous. I asked if he wanted to meet and he sent that address." I gushed out.
I still couldn't believe I was going to meet my first online friend in real life.
"You go, girl. Fuck everyone and go meet your friend," Mia said.
At that point, I noticed her voice sounded wavy and unfocused.
"Mia, where are you?" I asked.
Mia turned the camera around to show me the river.
"NO WAY! You're on a Yacht?!"
"Yup! Rebecca is having a party with some of her friends in the industry,"
"During the day?"
"Do you think these people care?" she laughed.
"I told you she wanted to be your sugar mummy. She has a Yacht!" I exclaimed.
"Keep it down! Jesus!"
"Mia?" a female voice called in the background."
"Becca I'm here," Mia replied in a completely different voice.
I was stunned at how nice she sounded. When she spoke to me, I was too scared to mess up.
"Who is that?"
"It's my friend staying at my apartment. Nicole, I gotta go," she whispered and ended the call.
I laughed and turned on the shower to make sure the water was warm. Halo only gave me an hour, so I took a very quick shower and searched Mia's closet for something clean to wear.
I eventually settled for baggy jeans with a white shirt under a black sweatshirt. I paired it with the boots I wore to work yesterday and the same jewellery.
While checking myself out in her full-length mirror, I became worried about people recognizing me when I walked on the road. I searched her closet until I found a baseball hat.
It looked perfect with my Brian's and the outfit I chose. I looked at the time. I saw that I still had 30 minutes to the designated time, and it was a bit suspicious that the place Halo had chosen for us to enter was barely 20 minutes from Mia's house.
If I was going from my apartment, it would be a 10-minute walk. I pushed the thought aside and considered if it was really true that Halo knew who I was. I wondered why he had never approached me in person.
I would have been happy to have a friend like him around all the time. My gaming account would have been recovered sooner too. Only when I was playing this morning did I realise how much I enjoyed it.
Playing the game reminded me why I started making games. It was my dream to make a game like Battle for Stars. I was finally leaving that dream, but life wasn't making it easy.
I took a can to the cafe Halo had chosen, and I avoided the temptation of sending him a photo of me. I wanted to know if he could really recognize me.
As I sat alone in the cafe, I grew anxious about the people dotted around talking. I was afraid they were talking about me. My brain suddenly reminded me of a childhood memory.
I would sit in the doctor's office for hours while my mother exchanged words with people. I was too young to understand their conversations, but I remember feeling left out.
"Noir," a voice caked behind me.
I got up and turned around to see a stunning young man. I gasped, losing my composure. Halo was handsome. He was tall with dark hair and contrasting light blue eyes.
He was wearing a grey hoodie, but I still felt the need to confirm.
"Are you Halo?" I asked.
"Of course, Noir," he laughed.
"Oh my God!"
Halo walked closer to me and pulled me in for a hug. It was so warm and soothing, and I leaned into it. I felt his sincerity through the hug.
Halo didn't even need to put it into words. I knew he missed me. He waited for me to come back. Halo's eyes softened, letting me know he was softer than he appeared.
"Don't ever do that again!" He scolded me.
"I'm so sorry," I cried.
"No tears. Sit down, we have lots to talk about,"
I nodded, and we sat down. He went to the counter and ordered coffee for both of us. He made a guess for me, but it was what I used to drink back in college.
"I guess you really did know me," I said.
"I was really curious after you disappeared. I was worried that your mother did something to you, so I looked for you. When I found you, you seemed fine, so I just let you be. I knew you'd come back someday." He replied.
"I couldn't. Tyler broke my laptop and got me a new one with a new account. After a few more months, I stopped playing Battle for Stars,"
"Are you still dating him?"
"No, we broke up over a year ago,"
"Thank God! That asshole didn't deserve you. I'm sure he was cheating,"
I froze. Did he really just guess something I couldn't figure out for two years?
"No way!" He exclaimed. "He cheated?!"
"Yup! For two years," I replied, sipping my coffee. "They're dating now,"
"Unbelievable! Noir, did you get revenge? I'm ready when you are. We can find an embarrassing picture of him and send it to his boss. Is he working? I hope he's jobless-"
I butter out laughing. Halo was still the same as he had always been.
"Now I know why I'm so weird," I muttered.
"I heard that! Are you keeping secrets now, Noir?"
"It's not really a secret, but when I get drunk, I hack the computer of anyone who annoys me and exposes their dirty secrets. I couldn't keep a job for months because of that bad habit,"
Halo lagged at me, and I smiled. Talking to him healed a little of the pain in my heart. I suddenly realised that it was my regret melting.
"What about your mom? I was really worried about you."
My expression changed, and I suddenly remembered what led to me staying at Mia's. My mother was back, and she was making insane demands again.
Halo seem to notice my discomfort because he took my hand to comfort me.
"Is she still giving you a hard time?" He asked.
"She came back yesterday," I told him.
"Wait, she was gone all these years?!"
"Yeah,"
"Did she tell you why?"
"She saw the articles and there's more I don't want to talk about right now."
It's ok. We've got time,"
Halo put his phone in front of me, unlocked.
"I want your number. I think I've earned that much," he said.
He was right. Not even my mother would have that much dedication waiting for me. I wanted to keep in touch with him. I picked up the phone and typed my number.
"Aren't you going to ask for my name?" I asked him.
"Did you think I don't know that? I'm always going to call you Noir, but I know everything that the internet has about you,"
"That's creepy, but I expected that much from you,"
"Don't you have any questions for me?"
"I actually do. Why did you wait that long for me? There was a chance I would have forgotten about the game."
He thought about it for a few seconds.
"I was going to take even the smallest chance. I had to keep my promise to stay with you," he replied. "How is that your only question?"
"I have one more," I laughed. "Is Halo your real name?"
"Now we're getting somewhere," he laughed. "No, it's not. I'll tell you someday, but not right now. I'm always hiding from my family,"
I suddenly realised why Halo understood me more than anyone. He was also fighting his own battles. He picked up his phone, saved my number and called me.
"Save my number and I think you should get going before someone recognizes you. I'll be in touch, I promise," he said.
I smiled and got to hug him one more time.
"Thank you so much for being the best friend I could ever ask for,"
"You saved me first," he replied. "I'm only returning the favour."
We pulled apart, and I left the cafe. I decided to take a walk because I couldn't decide where to go. I haven't been home in a day.
Talking to Halo helped heal my inner lost child. He was with me through a lot of my darkest days. I kept walking slowly until I came to my apartment building.
I stared at the building for a few seconds deciding whether to go on or not. I could run back to Mia's house and avoid all responsibility, or I could stay here and get back on my feet.
My mother believed I wasted my life, but I wanted to show her that she was wrong. I wanted to show her what I had learned and how much I had grown.
I went inside the building, turning around once because I felt I was being followed. There was no one behind me so I continued to the elevator. When I got to my floor, I was surprised to find someone waiting for me at my door.
Aiden Stark.
My heart started dancing wildly in my chest. I slowed down, trying to act uninterested. He looked as haggard as the first day we met. Handsome but a bit pale, with dark circles under his eyes.
"Your new look doesn't suit you," I commented as I moved to open my door.
I tried to pretend as if seeing him did nothing to me. It's a shard because I still craved this man so much. However, I had to remind myself that he would never be mine.
There was a possibility that the supposed ice would just be his forever sleep partner. But then why did he look so tired?
"Nicole," he called.
I hated the way he called my name. Why was she the only one who called my name like that? I could already feel my insides melt in response. My body was betraying me again.
"Please go home, Aiden. You don't want to be caught here with me,"
"Who was that man with you?" He asked, surprising me.
Is that what he came here to ask me? I thought he would be a little worried about me. Even now I was protecting him for my mother and he wanted to know who I was talking to.
"You don't have the right to ask me that," I reminded him.
"Who was he, Nicole?"
"My boyfriend,"
Aiden stared at me in shock and I felt a little guilty because I knew I was lying. I hated using Halo like that.
- # # # -
Song recommendation: Winner - Conan Gray