×Dean POV×
Seeing Angie with that ring on her finger awakened something in me I didn't know existed.
I wanted her to be mine.
I wanted her to never take the ring off, to show everyone that we belonged together.
The thought of Sam kissing her made me go crazy. I couldn't even stay in the room for that part. It wasn't that there was an actual possibility of the two of them getting together: Angie saw him like a brother and Sam said on multiple occasions he couldn't picture himself with another hunter.
But still, I couldn't watch.
Sam and I crossed paths in the parking lot, he said they talked about Jess and that he had to clear his mind for an hour or so.
When I came back, Angie was listening to music as usual, singing quietly along to the lyrics. I knew that she thought she was only mouthing the words without any tone but I certainly wouldn't want to tell her that we could hear her.
She noticed that I was staring at her.
"Noone tried killing me yet.", she announced unbothered, shutting off the music.
"What if-", I started, but Angie quickly shut me off.
"Don't say it."
"What if kissing wasn't enough to be considered cheating?", I finished my question anyways.
I knew Angie had been thinking about that possiblity too but none of us wanted to voice what that would mean until now.
"I can't have sex with you. Either of you.", she said, her arms wrapping around her chest protectively.
"No, I get that you don't want to get that intimate with me. You avoided that before our fight too, but Sam-"
"That's not at all the reason. I just don't want my real first time to be because of a case.", she explained, letting out a heavy sigh. Angie tilted her head slightly to the side as if she waited for me to react.
"Your first- you..what?", I choked out and I could see her face muscles twitching as if she was trying to hold back laughter.
"I mean Alastair was only in my head..", she began, immediately more serious at the mention of his name.
"You didn't consent to that bastard anyways, doesn't matter if it was in your head or in real life.", I objected forcefully and she slowly nodded.
I knew if I just kept standing up while she was sitting on the bed, Angie would get nervous about it.
She hated it when people stood over her and this conversation really needed me to look her eye to eye.
I grabbed a chair and sat down before her which seemed to give her the necessary encouragement to keep talking.
"And I mean Justin barely put the tip in until.. well, you already know how that one went."
The realization hit me in the face like a truck.
Angie was basically a virgin.
Oh my god.
I just assumed because she sucked me off so damn skilled that she was well experienced with that kind of stuff.
My jaw slacked.
"I'm so sorry, I never would've tried to be.. your first, I mean it's obvious you'd want someone who-", I stumbled, completely startled by her honesty.
How did she never hook up with anyone? The guys must've stood in line for her. Even now her long blonde hair absorbed all the light that shined through the window as she looked at me wearily with her big brown eyes.
"I never said that.", she forced out, her eyes widened a little bit in panic.
What did she mean?
"No, but you stopped me and took off on a hunt alone, just to almost get killed by a djinn."
She could've told me she didn't want sex back then and a lot of problems could've been avoided but that would have been too easy, wouldn't it?
"I stopped you because I was overwhelmed and you didn't know about Alastair. I thought it wasn't fair to you.", she muttered, excessively chewing on her bottom lip.
"It wasn't fair to me?", I exploded and she tapped my shoulders to calm me down.
Was this some kind of twisted joke?
Was I on some kind of prank show?
"Yeah, I mean I'd get it if you're disgusted by what he did to me. It's a turn off.", she revealed as if it was a common fact.
I breathed in a deep inhale before I'd get carried away by my rage and confusion.
She really thought I'd judge her based of what Alastair did to her. My skin was crawling and I felt a panic attack knocking at the door in the corner of my brain where I had trapped it before.
"I'm not. I'm really not. I promise. It was rape and nothing else."
If anything, she'd have the right to be disgusted by my hooking up- history.
"But still I felt like I was tricking you..", Angie mumbled defensively.
How could I have ever believed what Alastair said about her if this was what was going on inside of her head?
Pure concern for my feelings.
I was the worst person on the whole planet.
"You're too good to be true.
That's also why I thought Alastair was right. Because you were too perfect.", I admitted and she sucked in a breath of surprise. Her eyes were flickering nervously.
I got up from the chair, holding my hands out. I didn't want to just touch her because I needed to hold her right now, she had to decide for herself.
She looked at me for a few heartbeats, weighting her options.
Angie lifted herself from the bed, melting into my hug.
"Is this still part of the fake engagement?", she asked against my shoulders.
Angie was actually letting me hug her. This little moment alone made me wonder if not everything was lost between us. Not that I deserved it but there was still hope.
I just had to be brave.
"The engagement might've been fake but other than that, I meant every word."
I was glad she couldn't see my eyes right now because she'd know that I was completely under her spell.
"You really hurt me."
"I know. I can just pray I'll make it up to you some day."
I gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and she smiled sadly.
"You can start by sleeping with me.", she offered.
"Wha-"
"Sorry, bad choice of words. I uhm meant next to me.", she corrected herself and I could feel her laughing against my chest.
"Still those nightmares, huh?", I asked carefully.
"Yeah.", she whispered, still not moving an inch anyway from me.
"I'll tell Sam to get something to eat and then we'll go to bed okay?", I suggested.
Today I've only seen her eat the one piece of sandwich that I handed her and although I would've been completely fine with going to sleep next to her right away, Angie had to eat something.
"Uh-huh.", she hummed in agreement. That was probably the moment I should've whipped my phone out to actually call Sam but still neither of us took a step back from this hug. I wasn't even sure if she was holding me up or the other way around.
"It's not enough.", Angie declared.
I tilted her chin up so she could look at me. We were both so vulnerable right now that it almost made me run away from everything.
"Can I give you a kiss?", I asked.
I was so needy it was pathetic.
"Yeah. You're my fiancé after all, right?", she joked, trying to lighten up the heavy atmosphere. I untangle her arm from my shoulder looking at the ring on her finger.
First, I give her hand a soft kiss.
Then I proceeded to go for her lips.
It felt like an interminable amount of time before I was actually close to her face and I could feel her breath hitching over my mouth. I gave her one last chance to stop whatever this was but she didn't take it, just caressing my shoulders over the fabric of my shirt.
We weren't using any tongue, I was just innocently connecting our lips.
Lazy, careful and slow.
I was nibbling at her swollen flesh, tasting it. I wanted more, so much more but I was determined not to fuck it up this time.
We both stopped for a second to get some air.
"I'll hold you tonight so you can sleep. I promise.", I said against her lips.
"Don't do this because you feel guilty.", she protested but I shut her up with another kiss, slightly more pressure this time.
"Need it as least as much as you do.", I reassured her. "I'll call Sam now."
I announced it more to myself than to her because otherwise I would've started kissing her again.
×××
Dinner was calm.
It felt like the calm before a storm.
Everyone of us expected someone to burst in and kill Angie at any second but nothing happened.
Maybe the kissing actually hadn't been enough to be considered cheating but if that was the case we'd just have to find something different.
"I'll go take a shower, okay?", Angie asked, biting one more time into her slice of pizza.
When I had told Sam over the phone what to order she was impressed I knew what she wanted to get.
She had absolutely no clue I was tracking her eating habits in fear that she wasn't taking care of herself properly.
I knew that when Cas healed her after I got kidnapped he had meant to say that she was "severely malnourished" but she stopped him before he could get anymore out.
Some day I'd have to ask her about it, but one problem at a time.
"You're gonna go here?", Sam asked. He seemed to just now notice that Angie had gotten all of her bags to our motel room.
A piece of salad was still glued to his chin and Angie smirked a bit.
She was beautiful when she smiled.
"I'll stay here tonight.", she explained, already loosening her hair tie.
"Oh. You want my bed or something? I can bunk with Dean or how were you gonna-"
"We'll share my bed.", I interrupted him to spare us the time.
If he was confused or curious, he didn't let it show because he just said "Okay" and proceeded eating his vegetable pizza.
Angie grabbed one of her bags, went inside the bathroom and i heard the lock click.
"Good thing I needed some time for myself then, huh?", my little brother asked with a mischievous grin.
"You set this up.", I only now realized.
Was I that fixated on Angie that I didn't even question what Sam was up to?
"Don't hurt her again.", he warned me but I just rolled my eyes at him.
"I don't know what you think happened but she's actually just sleeping in my bed tonight."
For now.
"So you didn't-", he started, meaningfully glancing over to the bathroom door.
"She's a virgin.", I blurted out without thinking twice.
He examined my face before eventually processing that it wasn't a joke.
It was hard to believe that she never did anything after this Justin guy, Angie could probably have any guy she wanted. There was no way Sam saw that coming.
"Dude. You can't just tell me stuff she said to you in confidence.", he accused me.
"But I need your help! I don't know what to do!", I admitted, trying not to get too loudly. Even though I could already hear the water running inside the bathroom, there was no way of knowing if Angie couldn't still be listening.
"What? You're a virgin too all of the sudden? Dean, I've walked in on you multiple times and I can hearby confirm you: that train has long since left."
Oh, I forgot about those incidents.
There were a couple of times when Sam would come back to the motel earlier than expected or even when he thought the Impala was empty but I was actually screwing some waitress.
When you're traveling together while hunting privacy was just another factor that wasn't always guaranteed. Honestly, with those women I wouldn't even have cared if Sam stayed to watch but Angie was just different.
"I don't want her to regret it.", I told my brother and he nodded.
"Just don't tell yourself she's too perfect so that you'll concider killing her again and then you should be fine."
He made it sound like the bar was really low but I just wanted to be better than the bare minimum.
Sam saw by my reaction that I didn't appreciate that particular piece of advice because he sighed and added: "Don't overthink it and respect her boundaries."
That, I could do.
"Like I said, this night isn't happening anything anyways.", I mumbled.
"No, you're just gonna cuddle like teenagers drunk in love."
"Joke all you want, there's nothing more peaceful than Angie.", I told him only to realize it was a weak comeback.
I really did sound like a drunk teenager in love.
"I appreciate the compliment, Winchester.", an amused voice behind me said.
Goddamn it, she was fast at showering.
I gave Sam a death stare because he didn't warn me, then I turned back around.
Although Angie had chosen long pyjama pants, she was only combining them with a shirt.
Her nipples were poking through the thin fabric and I almost growled at the sight.
Get a grip, Dean.
I couldn't stare any longer anyways since she quickly got under the covers, probably not comfortable with her body being analyzed that long.
If we were alone right now I'd tell her it was more appreciation and admiration than staring but I couldn't do that in front of Sam.
I swallowed down a lump in my throat while I reached for my denim jeans. Angie wasn't really looking at me, she had her face buried in the pillow and her back was facing me. Next I took off my flannel, then my shirt.
Sam was just awkwardly watching my hasty movements as if he wasn't sure if he found this adorable or if he wanted to leave.
I reached for the blanket, getting underneath too.
Angie didn't even flinch at my touch like she used to since our fight and I tried not to be too proud about that.
I heard Sam yawn loudly, he was probably getting tired too. My brother was heading for the bathroom, probably to brush his teeth.
"Where do you want my arm, angel?", I asked her and she reached for my hand to wrap it around her stomach. In this position, my face was buried in her hair which I didn't mind because she always smelled good.
My chest was pressed against her back.
"Good night.", Angie mumbled. Her hand was still connected with mine and I could feel the engagement ring slightly press against my palm.
She hadn't taken it off yet.
"Good night."