Let's just not talk about the long hiatus. Pretend it didn't happen? Yes? Yes. You forgive me? Ah I know you do. Bring it in. Come on. Give miss author lady some love.
I really read a book in one sitting before finishing this chapter tonight. It was only 122 pages but it was pretty good, can't lie. It's called writer's block by Mea Monique in case you want to check it out on Amazon.
Enjoy and excuse any mistakes.
Naomi's POV
I hummed lowly to Journey as I ran my finger softly over her head of hair then rubbed her ear. She kept eye contact the whole time as she ate.
Our baby has hit 3 months and getting bigger by the day. The boys want to help all the time and it is so sweet how everyone is involved.
"Mama." Chayse tapped my leg.
"Yes baby?"
"I'm hungry."
"I know baba. Your food is cooking. It'll be done soon. Do you want a snack while you wait?"
He nodded and I had Lauren grab him one. Since I was struggling in the beginning, Jayson and I both agreed that bringing in our nanny would be beneficial. Not just for me and having that help, but for the kids as well.
I wasn't ready at that time to take on 2 toddlers and a newborn by myself. I'm absolutely better now and can manage but I will say it was tough in the beginning.
There was this overwhelming feeling of guilt and failure because I felt I should be able to do it by myself. Many women who don't have the option of having a nanny do it. They make it work. They're super mom. Why couldn't I be like them?
I felt even worse thinking about it but Jayson was amazing. Being positive and reassuring me. I'm so thankful to have him by my side.
Once baby girl was done eating, we went into my room and laid on the bed. Surprisingly she didn't go right to sleep. She talked for a little bit.
"Who you looking at mama?" I asked Journey when her head turned in the direction of the door.
"She looking at daddy. Ain't you?" Jayson came in and immediately picked her up. The smile grew on her face.
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Portland. You have a game tomorrow."
"I know and I'll be there. I got away for the night because I missed my babies. Now can I have a kiss or you still got questions for me?" He walked in front of me and stared down in my eyes. I kissed his cheek and was about to walk away until he grabbed the back of my shirt. "Don't play with me." He mumbled.
I playfully rolled my eyes and grabbed his chin, bringing his lips closer and softly kissed him. "What time do you have to leave?"
"2 o'clock."
"In the morning?"
"Yeah. It'll give me enough time to be with y'all before having to be with the team later." He kissed Journey and smiled at her. "You're eating the girls up JuJu. How was that? You think she'll think I'm cool?" He directed his questions to me.
"The coolest." I chuckled.
He wants our kids to be his best friends. Of course he has dad mode but he wants a nice balance and so do I. We want our kids to be open with us but still have that respect.
"Are you ready for playoffs? How's your body feeling?"
"I'm good boo." He laid on the bed with Journey resting on his chest. "You know my thumb been a little sore but other than that I've been cool."
"You're not lying to me, are you?"
"No."
"So you'd tell me if it was hurting more than normal?"
"Prolly not." He shook his head.
"Why? I could help."
"Because you're not my trainer. You're my wife. If I'm having a basketball related issue, I'll tell Nick. If something at home is bothering me, you'll be the first to know."
I narrowed my eyes at him. Ok he ate that one little thing. Me personally I think I'm able to be trainer and wife but he doesn't want that, and I respect his request.
"How are you feeling today?" He changed the subject.
"Good."
His stare was intense. "Be honest. How are you feeling today?"
I shrugged and gave a slight smile. "I'm good Jay. Today was a good day. I had Lauren, Journey and me were fine. I'm...good."
"That's a lot of goods. You want to throw in another adjective to try to convince me?" He said letting me know he didn't believe a word I said.
"I'm not crying today. My tears are dried up. So if that's what you're looking for then I'm sorry."
"I'm not looking for tears, Naomi. I'm looking for honesty. You're saying you're fine, or your favorite word, good, when you're not. And I'm not trying to argue but-"
"That's what it sounds like. Like you want me to be bawling my eyes out all day. I've done that and it sucks. I don't want to do that anymore."
"So you don't want to talk? You're going to keep it inside?" He stood up with Journey still in his arms.
"Jayson-"
"Yes or no?"
"No. I told you the honest truth. Today was good. It was a better day than I've had. It was calm and I love calm at this point. What other answer are you looking for?"
"I'm just making sure you're ok Naomi. That's all. When you give me "good" it sounds like an answer you give so we don't have to go into detail."
I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his torso. "I'm fine Jay. You know I'd tell you if it were different. You don't have to worry about me."
"I do. I love you and don't want to see you sad." He kissed my nose then my forehead.
"You were really going to argue with me?"
I knew he shook his head. "Not argue. That's called passion. I'm passionate about you so I advocate for your feelings even when you don't for yourself. I care."
I took in his scent with my eyes closed as my head laid on his chest and I listened to his heartbeat. "Thank you."
"You're welcome baby and I'm sorry for coming at you hard. My approach could have been better."
"I accept your apology honey."
"Now back to you." He lifted the baby above him and she looked down at him smiling. "My pretty girl. I make the cutest bab-"
"I wouldn't-"
Before I could finish and him being cut off, Journey was throwing up on him.
"...do that if I were you." I finished my statement. "She just finished eating."
His mouth was shut tightly since she got it on his face and shirt. "Mhm." He extended her towards me and I took her.
"Do you want me to-"
"Mm mm." He said and carefully took his shirt off and wiped his mouth and face.
"At least it wasn't poop." I tried pointing out the bright side. He gave me a blank look and I finally had to laugh. "Hey you're the one who wanted to have her all in the air. Nobody told you to do that."
He went into the bathroom and I heard the shower running so I went to see what the boys were doing. It was a little too quiet in here.
"JoJo." Camari said when he saw his sister. He walked in front of me and raised his hands.
"You want to hold her?"
He nodded and jumped on his little couch in their playroom. His little hands tapped his lap then extended his arms for me again.
"Eager aren't we?" I sat down in front of him on the floor and placed her between his legs so she sat against him. I kept my hand on her belly gently to keep her upright.
"Aw pretty." He kissed her cheek as she stared at him.
"Hey Mimi." Deuce came in ten minutes later and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek then his siblings. He just got home.
"Deuce Deuce. How was school pumpkin?"
"It was fine. Same old same old and Mimi you can't call me pumpkin. I'm not a baby." He rested his hand on his forehead as he explained. "They're little. I'm big so I need a man's nickname. How about Big Deuce?"
"But your dad is Big Deuce."
"My dad stole my name. His name is just Jayson. I'm a Jr. Deuce belongs to me. Therefore, I am Big Deuce." He smiled while crossing his arms.
"Is that so?" Jayson stood at the door with a look of amusement.
Deuce jumped a little. "Dad! When did you get here? I thought you were in Portland."
"Came home real quick to see my beautiful family and my baby boy is talking crazy. I thought we were boys."
"We are...." He nodded then looked off to the side. "But you did steal my name. I'm just saying." He held his hands up and laughed.
I let out a laugh and looked at Jay. "He's not wrong Bubba."
"Speaking of childish names. That is one." Jayson pointed at me.
"Uh uh. I've been calling you this for how many years?We're not changing it now."
"Hi da da." Camari started getting up from his seat before I could even get Journey.
"Careful Cam." I said and secured her in my arms. He wasn't hearing anything I was saying because he was jumping in his dad's arms.
"Hi Cam Cam." He said in the same voice and they stared at each other before laughing. "You so silly." He tickled him. "Where's Chayse? He's usually first to greet me."
"Probably eating. If not that then he's taking a nap after eating."
"Of course." He chuckled.
My baby has a bottomless pit for a stomach. He's so little but he'll clear his plates with no problem with room to pick off someone else's plate.
I'm not going to lie, it did alarm me. You know, I don't want to over feed my kid but I also don't want him starving if he really is hungry. His doctor said he is fine, he's just growing.
Oh boy...imagine when he's a preteen. Deuce is 11 and his appetite is starting to pick up already.
"Are you excited about tomorrow?" Jayson asked me when the kids left the play room, leaving us to chat.
"I am. Nervous but excited."
I have an interview tomorrow with the New England Patriots. I love basketball but an opportunity came to me. I have been specific in my prayers, asking God for a job that would go with my family life.
Football season is shorter than basketball, I don't have to worry about long stretches of being away from home. I have the ability to be home most nights, being with my babies. It works for our family and I'm thankful for the opportunity.
"Damn you really trading in an indoor sport for the outdoors, knowing you don't like being in cold weather."
"Uh uh. Don't bring your negativity over here." I held my hand up.
"Hey I'm just pointing it out. Don't be complaining to me cause I don't want to hear it."
"Trust me. I won't. You're just mad you won't be able to work with these yams anymore." I strut by him with a smirk.
He slapped my butt causing it to sting. "I work with these yams 365, 7 days a week."
"Mmmm that's a stretch. You palm a basketball more than me, but I've accepted my spot a long time ago." He rolled his eyes and let out a vocal sigh. "No, I'm not trying to argue Jay."
"Yes you are. Why even bring that up? I came back to surprise you and that's still not enough. I play professional basketball Naomi. It takes a lot of my time but don't sit here and act like I neglect my family."
"I didn't say that. You're a very present dad but I do feel lonely sometimes and that's why I brought it to you but you shut me down every time."
"Because that's not fair and, quite frankly, bullshit."
"So I don't feel lonely? You know that for a fact?"
"You never said anything before-"
"I'm saying something now Jay. We don't do married couple things anymore. The dates have stopped, showers together, we don't even do our nighttime routines together anymore."
"It's not that deep Naomi. We go in the bathroom at different times." He shrugged.
I forced a smile, kissed Journey who he was holding and walked out. I wanted to respond negatively but I really don't want to say hurtful things to him.
Since having Journey, when I was going through my stuff, he was great. Everyone saw how amazing he was towards me, supportive, loving. He was, and still is, everything.
Lately, though, he hasn't been too affectionate in terms of our intimacy. He doesn't want to go out with me, we hang out in the bed. Our sex life is nonexistent and I've been clear for weeks now.
Every time I think we're going there....he stops. He'll tell me he's tired or he has an early morning. Oral sex either. It's not looking good out here for your girl.
And I'm trying not to pressure him because he really could not want to have sex. I never wanted him to feel like I was depriving him of it in our marriage but I feel like he's doing it to me.
Now I'm looking at myself. I did gain weight after Journey and my gym motivation has been up and down. So maybe that's it? He wants to point it out but doesn't want to hurt my feelings.
I don't suspect he's cheating. Not after what happened last time. So I can only look at myself. Maybe the mom bod is a turn off.
I knew adding kids to our marriage would be another added layer but why does my marriage have to pause and suffer because we become parents? How do we find the balance so neither of us feel neglected?
"Ma ma." Chayse's voice sounded as he entered my room.
"Yes baby?" I quickly wiped my face since I was laying on my bed, silently having a moment.
He climbed on the bench at the foot of my bed to get on the bed in front of me. He laid on his stomach, with his head resting on his arms in front of him, as I was.
His eyes stared into mine as he smiled then he reached out his hand to wipe my cheek. I hadn't noticed a tear escaped.
Surprisingly he didn't ask any questions or talk for that matter. He got up and opened his arms for a hug and I gave him one while I turned on my back and he laid on top of me, his arms wrapped around my neck.
I felt his small hand part my head softly then he leaned back to give me a kiss. "So pretty." He said clear and confident.
"Aw thank you. You're so handsome." He thanked me back and we watched some tv with some cuddles.
Jayson's POV
July
"So when you going home? I'm tired of you being at my house." Toriah said as she sat back on the couch after grabbing her popcorn. "Uh uh." She snatched the bowl away as my hand reached in.
I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes before looking over at her again. "Please?" I asked nicely.
"Nope. You come here, eat my food, then leave. I bet your house is loaded. You'd know if you'd just, I don't know, go back."
I sighed loudly and relaxed more in my seat. "You're one of the only people I can talk to."
"About what? You've said nothing of value since being here for 4 hours. Boy I know your family misses you."
Deuce is at my mom's so she's trying to kick me out. "I just checked in with Naomi. They're fine."
She squinted at me. "Did you call or text?"
"Text."
"Go home Jay. She don't even know where you are because I know you didn't tell her."
"Nigga it's just you. I'm not interested in doing anything with you either."
"The feeling is mutual. I was looking at it from her perspective though. Why not tell her where you are? What if something happens and she needs to get to you? Like me putting your head out. She'd need to come and save you."
I scratched the top of my head and looked up at the ceiling. "She said she's been feeling neglected."
Toriah groaned a little and sat her bowl down. "Don't put me in a weird position Jay. You know Nae is my girl. You should take your concerns to your wife."
"But how? She doesn't want to talk. All she want to do is fuck and-"
"Ah hell nah. Jayson no. I'm definitely not talking about your bedroom situation."
"No just listen-"
"No I will not just listen. Naomi is my friend. I wouldn't feel comfortable being around her and I know specifics. I refuse to engage in this conversation. You want to sit here, annoy me and watch a movie? Cool. Us talking about your intimate marriage problems that can easily be solved if you just opened your damn mouth? Nah."
I guess she's right. I just wish I had an ear like Naomi has with Jasmine. I don't think she tells her specifics regarding sex but she still has her go to.
I didn't stay to watch the movie. I decided to leave but not to go home. Knocking on Brandon's door, he opened it then stepped to the side to let me in.
We did our handshake before walking to his living room. "Wassup bro?" He asked as we took a seat.
"Stressed."
"Ah hell. You ain't thinking about cheating are you? We know how you like to play dangerous games. Man I still can't believe you did that and with Destiny. You should've told me."
"I'm not thinking about cheating." I made clear. He handed me a glass of brown liquor. I looked at the cup then at him. "You old as hell." I chuckled then took a sip.
He laughed with me. "Nigga this my stressed liquor. It does what I need it to when I got a lot of shit on my mind. Now why are you stressing? Playoffs?"
I shook my head. "It's Naomi. She's fine health wise. It's just she's starting to get clingy. At first it was cool but now it's annoying."
He gave me a weird look. "Didn't I stop by a couple weeks ago?"
"Yeah?"
"And aren't you the same nigga who had his hand on her at all times? You were caressing her elbow when you stood slightly behind her. Who in the hell caresses someone's elbow?"
"She's still my girl."
"I'm confused. I'm not gone lie. This sudden mood change just seems random as hell."
"Ok maybe it's not her clinginess. Maybe that wasn't the right word...uhh.." I thought then found the word. "Nagging. Her complaining is annoying."
"Ok well what is she "complaining" about?"
"Us not spending enough time together. I work consistently for months. Of course I'm tired. She's at home with the kids." He just stared at me with a blank expression. "What?"
"You really don't hear yourself, do you?" He laughed and shook his head before taking a drink.
"Explain."
"She wants to hang out with you. What's so bad about that?"
"Nothing. I just wish she'd understand my disinterest has nothing to do with her."
"Did you tell her that?"
"No but-"
"Well maybe you should give it a shot."
"Nigga you're no help."
"You don't need help Jay. You need to talk to your wife. I do have a question for you though."
"What?"
"What's changed?"
"What you mean?"
"What's changed from then to now? You were a professional basketball player then and still are. What's so difficult with finding time to hang out for a couple hours now but it was doable back then?"
"Kids."
"Nobody told yo ass to shoot the club up as many times as you did." He laughed. "But that's still not a good explanation. You have money and multiple nanny's. And a mom. You can slip away for two hours bro."
"Well she's going to be occupied soon so." I shrugged.
"She's not a child nigga. You need to be occupying her."
"She wants to work. She's not ready to be a full time stay at home mom."
"Who would want to be when they have a husband who acts like you? She's away from you, with kids, all the time and when you come back it's "no I don't feel like it" or some other excuse. I'd want to go back to work too. I told yo ass you weren't ready for marriage."
"I wish y'all shut up saying that dumb shit." I rolled my eyes. They're annoying constantly saying that.
"I'm not wrong though. You just don't want to hear the truth childish ass nigga. but I'm not coddling or kissing your ass. The fuck?"
"I ain't asking you to nigga." I snapped.
"Well where is she working?" He changed the subject.
"Patriots."
"Hm." He snickered to himself and took another sip.
"What?" I sat up and looked at the side of his face.
"Nothing. That's interesting is all."
"Why is it interesting? You know something I don't?"
"Nah man. Chill. All I was going to say is you need to tighten up."
"Bruh what does that mean?"
"I mean let's see, you cheated and she found out. Now you're not interested in spending time with her or sex. You ever think about her getting her lick back?"
My eyebrows came together and I looked at him crazy. "Man no." I scoffed and took a gulp of my drink. He gave me a look and I shook my head. "No mufucka."
He put his hands up and let out another dumbass chuckle. "I'm just asking. As long as you get it together you'll be fine." He stood up. "The women do love them some Jalen Hurts though. And I heard he a que." He snickered as I threw a decorative pillow at him.
Naomi would never cheat so I'm not worried about that. She would leave though and if she's truly feeling the way she is then I need to do better. It shouldn't have taken me talking to Brandon for me to listen or understand.
I got home and it was quiet. Naomi's car is here when I pulled in so I know she's here. Maybe everyone is taking a nap.
"Oh hey." Nae jogged down the stairs looking done up while rubbing her hands together, I'm guessing applying lotion.
"Hey..." I trailed and looked her over. "Where you going?"
"To the stadium."
"For? Training camp ain't until next week."
"I'm meeting the team. And I need to leave now if I want to be early so I can take my time. The babies are with your mom so you have the house to yourself. Enjoy your day."
She placed her hand on my chest as she leaned up to leave a kiss on my cheek and I grabbed her hand. "Where's your ring Naomi?"
"It's right here." She took it out of her pocket, placing it on her finger. "I was putting lotion on."
"Ok." I mumbled.
"Did you have fun with Toriah?"
"How'd you know?"
"Your location." She shrugged.
"I wouldn't call it fun. She wanted me gone after twenty minutes."
"Yet you stayed for 4 hours. I can't even get one."
"You really want to do this before you leave?"
"You right. I need to get going." She walked to her book bag and put it over one shoulder. I wanted to grab it from her as I always did when she worked with us but I didn't. "I'll see you later."
Before she could get all the way out, I asked a question. "Hey when do y'all play the Eagles?"
"September. They're our season opening game. Why?"
"I think I might want to go. Me and the kids."
She nodded then gave me a small smile. "I think I'd like that. Bye Jay."
"Later Nae." I waved slightly and she was gone.
What? Nobody is worried about what that nigga Brandon said earlier. You heard her. She said it was the first game of their season. Everyone is going to be there and I know she'd love for her family to be there.
Hours went by, and I mean hours went by, and Naomi still wasn't home. I've called and texted but got no response. I took a nap after she left, watched some tv to pass the time.
It was dark outside and she left when the sun was bright and beaming. The dogs sounded so I got up to see what was happening.
The front door was open and I heard her outside. "Thanks again. Get home safe." She stood and waved at whoever it was. I came behind her to see but didn't get a good look before they pulled off down the driveway. "Hello." She greeted and walked in the house.
"Where you been?"
"You aren't going to say hey back?"
"Hey. Where have you been?"
"My fellow trainers took me out."
"Took you out where? It's late as hell."
"Jay...it's barely 10 o'clock."
"You left around 2."
"Ok? That's barely 8 hours."
I squinted and looked at her closely. "You been drinking?"
"Yes I had a drink."
"But you don't drink. And where is your car?"
"My car is in the garage. And I know. I had someone drive me home then they got in with someone else. I didn't feel comfortable driving afterwards."
"Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" She's not drunk, no slurring but I can tell she did take more than two sips.
She shrugged. "I didn't see the need to. I had a coworker bring me home, safe and sound. Jay I'm home now. You have nothing to worry about. Relax."
With that she walked upstairs, leaving me by myself. "Bro why are we beefin?" I asked myself and I can't even answer it. Well other than saying I'm the reason.
After five minutes I made my way upstairs and heard the shower on in our bathroom, so I walked in. The water ran over her face, careful not to get it on her hair.
Taking a seat on the counter, I watched her every move. She gasped when her eyes landed on me. "Goodness Jayson. You scared the heck out of me. Do you need something?"
"No."
"So why are you in here?" She genuinely asked.
"I just wanted to see you."
Naomi's POV
He just wanted to see me? Nigga what? We've been seeing each other for months and that's it. Now you're in a better mood and want to be around your wife? Nah playa.
I scoffed and finished taking my shower. I moisturized in the shower then put my robe on, walking right by him.
"You look beautiful." He followed me out.
I know. "Thank you." I said while grabbing underwear.
I can really tell I'm changing in a more positive direction. I'm working on being a respectful wife. Sometimes I want to react negatively but me adding to his already funky moods help nothing. I'm in control of my emotions and my words.
"So what do you want to do? It's rare we have the house to ourselves." He spoke.
"I want to sleep. Today was busy. The sun paired with the alcohol have me tapping out."
"You don't want to watch a movie or anything? Cuddle?"
"Sorry Jay I'm really sleepy. We can spoon if you want but I'm going straight to sleep when my head touches this pillow."
"Ok that's fine. I understand."
I dropped my robe after placing my panties on then put on a tank top. I climbed into bed and smiled at the mere fact that my bed was so cozy and I was finally in it for the night.
Jayson turned the lights off and got in bed with me. I guess he's deciding not to cuddle, not that I was really welcoming so I get it.
"I'm sorry boo. I'm going to be better. I promise." He said as I was falling into a deep slumber. "I love you so much."
I heard him but my mouth was too heavy to open as well as my eyes. I was exhausted but I love him too.
I'm choosing to believe that he'll put in the effort to be better when it comes to our marriage. Because I was feeling like her didn't care for me or us anymore.
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Thoughts? She's a little short and was all over the place but I hope y'all liked it. Next chapter I want a big time skip but at the same time no....idk yet.
Thanks for reading ❤️