*Jenna's POV*
"Hey," I say hesitantly as I enter the room with Izzy in.
"Oh my God. Jenna? Jenna!" She looks up excitedly, smiling as soon as our eyes make contact.
"Yeah hi," I say in the same small voice.
"It's actually you!" She sits up straight in bed.
"Yeah it is!" I match her smile and start to walk closer.
"I've been reading about you trying to meet me, but I never thought it was true! And now you're actually here!" She says excitedly.
"Of course it's true! I've spent the morning with Grace, she's just outside getting some food." I exclaim.
"That's so weird and cool at the same time! But... Jenna, you can't blame yourself. I can't even blame myself! I was the one who did it, but in the end it's the people who were commenting rude stuff and turning people against me and my account. It wasn't your fault in the slightest. It was my fault more than yours and even then it wasn't my fault." She completely changes her tone from excited to serious.
I kneel down beside her bed, it makes me extremely short and Izzy notices this. She pats the bed, indicating for me to sit there.
"Are you sure?" I murmur, not meaning the bed. I sit where she indicated and we link eyes for a while.
"Of course I'm sure." She says quietly after a pause, she looks down as she says this.
I don't quite know what to say so we sit in silence for a bit. It's not really silence as someone's phone, probably Izzy's, is plugged into a small speaker and playing music. At the moment, it's playing Sam Smith's 'Lay Me Down'. The music is really faint though and is quite calming. It's nearing the end of the song and I listen out for the next.
'I was scared of dentists and the dark'
The line shocked me, it was Matt's song. Riptide. His favourite song. The song he listened to whenever he was nervous or needed to be reminded of who he was.
"Alright Coleman?" Matt steps into the hair room.
"Top condition thank you Smith." I reply, with a slight smile. I pick up my hot water and take a sip, trying not to seem obsessed with Matt and his every move.
He walks over to the chair next to me and sits down in it. Quickly, he spins himself round before Michelle can stop him and get his wild hair under control. Michelle steps away for a second and while she does Matt takes his opportunity to reach for his phone and turn on his music. I turn my head slightly towards him so I can see what he's doing. Verity adjusts to my new angle easily and carries on twisting my hair into the style for our new episode: Journey to the Center of the TARDIS. I like this episode, it's different to usual and Moffat's managed to put another clever plot line in. My dress for this episode is one of my favourites so far. Also my hair... I wish I could do my hair this well everyday. Well, Verity's a hair genius and doesn't mind doing the style for me.
My thoughts are broken by Matt clicking play on his music and the line I hear once every couple of days.
I was scared of dentists and the dark.
I smile at him and he smiles back.
"You alright?" I murmur to him as Verity and Michelle step away from us to try and find a certain hair thing.
Our eyes meet for a moment and we hold each others gaze. Matt snaps out of first.
"Errr... Yeah, I guess."
"Matt," I take his hand,"you'll be great, you always are." It's short but I know it will mean more to him.
He smiles at me,"Oh what would I do without you Jenna?"
I know the question is rhetorical so I remain silent. I start to notice the music again. However, I still don't really know what bit we're at, it's just running through my head.
"I love you."I start to sing along with the music and then realize which part I just sung.
Matt sings the next part not realizing I've stopped,"When your singing that song and-" he stops realizing what we just sang. I stare at him and he meets his eyes with mine. A smile climbs it's way onto my lips and I see a similar one reach his. Slowly, we're moving closer to each other and I don't know what's going on. We are extremely close now and I'm starting to wonder if we're going to kiss. I wouldn't mind if we did. In fact, I rather want to. My minds all a blur apart from one thing that's straight in my head- Matt. Suddenly, the Game Of Thrones theme tune starts playing on my phone. Richard. Quickly I jerk away from Matt and blushing pick up my phone and spin my chair so I'm not facing him.
"Hey Jen," Richard greets me and I don't reply for a while. In the mirror, I can see Matt sitting on his phone flicking through his camera roll. He stops when a photo of us come up. I blush even more and quickly stand up as Verity just gave me a sign that I can go. I step out the room and walk over to mine that's only a couple of meters away.
"Jenna?" Richard asks slowly.
I walk through my door and shut it behind me before leaning against it. I sigh before focusing myself and trying to forget about what just happened.
Finally I reply to Richard,"Yes... Hi Richard sorry I-"
The story brings tears to my eyes. Mainly because it was something I'd forgotten happened between Matt and I.
"Jenna? What's the matter?" Izzy says quietly.
"Nothing, just a memory..." I dismiss it wiping away my tears. I always seem to cry whenever Matt is mentioned now. I can't help it. I want to be with him so badly but I can't at the moment.
"It's okay, you and Matt will get back together." Izzy says, instantly knowing what I'm thinking about. God these thirteen year olds are perceptive!
"Do you really think so?" I mumble.
"Yeah! I'm sure when you see each other again you'll-"
'PING'
She's interrupted by a ping from her laptop that's sitting on her bedside table.
"What's that?" I ask as she reaches for her laptop.
"Oh it's the news I've had any on you and Matt on notification. Yeah this is just another article about it." She says as she clicks on a tab. Her face drops.
"What? What is it?" I ask quickly.
"Errrrm... Jenna you might not want to see this." She says quietly.
"Oh come on! It can't be worse than the last thing I read from the press!" I protest, automatically nervous about what the screen will reveal.
"No it is just it would be better if you don't read this..." She says.
"Oh well I don't care what they say about me anymore." I reply.
"No it's not about you..."
"Who then?"
"Matt..." She finally gives in. I reach for the laptop and she willingly lets me take it.
MATT SMITH-THE PLAYER
Looks like Smith move on quickly after breaking up with Coleman. He's been seen 'getting it on' with a different girl every night. Is Smith having a rebound or did he ever really love Coleman? Matt's out having a great time while Jenna is hard at work meeting with people and trying to achieve something. Nothing has been revealed on her plans so far but we're sure it will be announced soon. Coleman's redeeming herself while Smith's ruining his reputation. Are these two made for each other or are they done for good now? More news will come soon.
Oh my God. Maybe breaking up with Matt was a good thing then if he never loved me... Angry tears run down my face and I turn to look at Izzy.
"Sorry I should go, you don't need to see me like this..." I mutter.
"Erm okay... You can come back any time you want." She smiles reassuringly at me but it doesn't make a difference.
I go out of the room, rushing past Grace as I do. She sees the tears on my face and obviously doesn't understand.
"Jenna?" She asks, concerned.
"Sorry I can't right now Grace. I'll be back soon..." I say quickly and then rush out the hospital.
I'm sad and angry but mostly angry. How could he do that? How could he sleep with those whores? I bet he didn't even know them! Fucks sake. I know I broke up with him but I was going to contact him as soon as this was over and apologize. Eurgh! Right now I need someone to calm me down and tell me it's okay... But who? I pushed all my friends away. Everyone... Apart from Richard and Lily... Richard and Lily. Rushing, I hail a cab, get in and mutter the address to the driver who gets the feeling that I want to be left alone. He was right.
I rest my head against the window and sigh. I wish life was calm again. Like it was before all this happened. Before any of the Richard and Lily stuff. Before I became stressed out with my tight schedule. When Richard and I would get home and collapse on the sofa together and binge watch tv series.
"Alright Miss. We're here." The driver announces.
"Thanks." I say quietly, passing some money over and then proceeding to climb out the taxi. I walk up to their door and knock confidently, even though inside I am so not confident.
"Jenna!" Richard answers the door almost in shock,"Are you okay?" He says gently as he sees the tears on my face. I shake my head slowly and so he leads me through to the living room.
"It's just me, by the way, Lily went out to... No it doesn't matter," he cuts himself off,"I saw the papers and what happened and what's happening with Matt and I'm so sorry."
"Yeah it sucks." I finally manage to talk to him.
"Yeah... What do you need to say?" He automatically guesses what I'm thinking. He knows me too well.
"Well it's just that I'm obviously awful at relationships, and everyone seems to pretend to like me. You cheated on me, sorry to put it harshly, but it's the truth." He looks nervous but also regretful at this but I ignore him and carry on,"And Matt's now slept with a succession of girls within hours of us breaking up. Basically meaning he never loved me! So what is it? Do people like to pretend to love me? Did you ever love me Richard?" I finally finish with what I wanted to know.
"Jenna it's more complicated than that, yes I love you. I loved you as a girlfriend and then I met Lily and I ended up loving her. I still love you like that but it's nothing in proportion to what I feel like for Lily. And I'm sorry but that's what it's like."
"Wait so you still love me?"
"No... Well yes but i love Lily more." He stutters.
"Seriously?" I ask. He nods, raising his eyebrows.
"If I'm honest, I sorta still love you too..." I admit.
"Not as much as Matt?" He clarifies nervously.
"Well no but Matt doesn't love me anymore so it doesn't really count for much."
"Jenna, if Matt doesn't love you then he's missing out. You're perfect, kind, caring your only fault is you're way to modest and can't accept help from anyone even when you need it. All those reasons are why I love you but-"
Compassion floods through me and I don't even know what thought process goes through my head. I'm so confused right now and hearing that didn't help keep. Maybe I did it because I heard the things someone loves about me. Maybe because I wanted to. Or maybe it's hearing the words I love you. But I find myself kissing Richard...
Heeehee yes I am that evil leaving it there... I'm super excited for the next chapter maybe next two depending on how much I write. Sorry I didn't update in a bit I had to write it and it was quite a difficult one to write. Anyone notice I went and added chapter titles to all the chapters? Well I did. But yeah please comment what you think will happen next because your comments make my day. Love you even though you may hate me