Smokescreen scowled after repeatedly trying and failing to get a straight answer out of me.
What happened? Megatron asked and I almost had a spark attack.
"Argh." I shivered and Smoke looked at me confused, "Bloody Meg's in the sparkbond."
Why? I asked.
You were panicking. He said.
Oh I'm fine. I just finished hiding in the closet-
Why were you in a closet? He asked.
I was doing Optimus. I said the only lie that come to mind.
He's with me, so unless he can be in two places at once- Megatron started.
Okay, fine, I was hiding. I explained while Smoke waited patiently. He must really want a answer.
Hiding from what? He asked.
If you must know, I was being mature and breaking up a fight. I said proudly.
Meg was silent for a bit. Optimus wants to know who was fighting. He said. And he says well done. He added.
"Yay!" I cheered, "Optimus said well done!" I explained to Smoke who was a bit confused.
"He must be without some context." He mumbled.
"Oi!" I yelped and slapped him. Airachnid and Arcee. I said as some of my wiring flopped out of my frame through the stab wound Airachnid left. It started leaking at a alarming rate.
"Ahhh." I started, "Where's Ratchet?" I asked Smoke as he shuffled away to keep his peds dry from the growing puddle of energon.
"Room 32." He said, "He's off shift, I'll fetch Knockout-" He said and he was gone.
It was going to take longer for him to find Knockout than it would take for me to find Ratchet so I headed off, making a awfully large mess in the process.
I made it to Ratchet's room eventually and was surprised to find Ratchet did not lock his room. He was recharging on his berth, I leaned over him and tapped him awake.
"Hrmm?" He asked before groggily opening his optics, "EP!" He shrieked and kicked me in the gut with surprising force.
"Oof." I grunted.
"What the hell are you-"
"I was stabbed and Knockout's not on the ship!" I shrieked back.
Optimus wants to know why they were fighting- Meg asked.
Not now. I cut him off as Ratchet realized I was leaking.
"What happened?" He asked, not as concerned as he should be.
"Airachnid stabbed me here." I said and pointed to my middle, "And Arcee stabbed me here." I added and pointed at my thigh. "Oh and you kicked me here-"
"Lets go to the medbay." Ratchet started and dragged me out. "Argh, Megatron will be grumpy about the mess."
"Really, that's what you care about?" I grumbled. "The mess?" I asked.
"Yes-"
"Fine I'll ask." I grumbled, looking to prove him wrong. Would you be grumpy if I was making a mess on your ship? I asked.
Why? Making a mess with what? He asked.
Like bleeding out excessively- hypothetically. I added.
It's easy to clean up-
"See, I told you- it's easy to clean up!" I snickered at Ratchet as I got a little dizzy.
Why? Are you bleeding out on my floors?
I'm not bleeding out on your floors. I lied as we reached the medbay. Optimus was rummaging through cupboards and Meg was watching him. He looked smug.
What are you doing? I asked, they hadn't noticed us.
Optimus thinks I hid my copy of his dairy in the medbay. Meg said.
"Ahem." Ratchet started, most of the medical equipment was blocked by their frames after all.
Optimus banged the back of his helm on the cupboard frame, "Ow." He grumbled while Meg snickered. Then he frowned as he saw me casually leaking on his floors.
"What happened?" He growled as Optimus almost jumped out of his frame.
"I broke up a fight-"
"When did you change your paint- Why would you do that?" Optimus shrieked.
"Why would I- you said well done!" I argued.
"Really, you're encouraging this reckless behaviour." Megatron growled at him.
"Most certainly not, who-"
"Arcee and Airachnid, here and here." I said quickly, swaying slightly.
"Sit down." Ratchet grumbled and dragged me to a berth.
"And Ratchet kicked me." I added.
"What did you do?" Optimus asked.
"Hmm?"
"To piss those two off dumb-aft." Megatron helped out.
"They're not hard to piss off." I shot back. "I insulted them so they'd stop fighting each other-"
"And fight with you?" Ratchet asked.
"It worked!" I said a little giddy.
"And what's with the colours?" Megatron asked, "You shaved?" He asked.
"Looks a bit like you before the war." Optimus started. I gave off a shriek as Ratchet did who knows what, "Sound's like it too." He added bitterly.
"I did not whine." Megatron grumbled.
"Oh please, I wrote it down in the damn dairy, 'oh Orion, hold me pleeeaaase, I'm dyyying'!" He mocked.
Ratchet looked up for a moment, confused at Optimus' sudden decline in maturity.
I snorted.
"Oh please." Meg rolled his optics sarcastically, "Need I recount the time you stubbed your pede? You collapsed to the floor and howled! In public-"
"I didn't stub it- I dislocated it-"
"It was stubbed, I had a look at it later." Ratchet corrected, then remembered he should be helping Optimus argue his case. Then he stabbed a tube into my arm.
"EHHGHGH!" I shrieked.
"That's what she said." Megatron mumbled.
"Oh please, it's just to pump energon into-"
"I could've just drunk it!" I wailed. "Orion, hold my hand." I somewhat joked.
Optimus went in while Megatron mumbled bitterly about how Orion didn't hold his servo. "Oh really-" Optimus shrieked while I looked at Megatron all too smugly.
"EP!" I yelped and tried to jump as Ratchet tugged at the wires in my chassis.
"Hold still-" Ratchet started and Optimus hugged me to keep me still.
"Hugging him now too-" Megatron mumbled.
"He's bleeding out everywhere!" Optimus argued, "And he has the pan tolerance of a sparkling-"
"I'm getting sick of the bickering." Ratchet warned lowly as I let out a sniffle that would have been masked by their bickering if it wasn't for Ratchet.