Sometime later we finish watching the news then head off to bed. Today was a super long and hard day for me. It's weird now that I think about it. Just a few hours ago, I was thinking that I'd be sleeping outside in some forest, but now I'm here sleeping right beside my kidnapper in a dingy motel. I feel like the craziest thing about today is how I've seen three people die right before me by the hands of James and now I'm here sleeping with him under the same sheets. And why? all because he said," I love you?" Is that supposed to magically change how I feel about him...... I don't know exactly. I know this is wrong, but I just want to give this feeling my all. Him my all. And who knows? Maybe I can change him to be a better person.
...Maybe.
As I toss and turn, my nose catches a whiff of a rotten odor. I cover my nose, trying to block out the stench but it's no use. I sit up and scan the dark room, but I can't really see anything. James groans as he turns to face me," Can't sleep?"
"No, it's not that. I'm extremely tired but I smell something that's irritating my nose."
James sits up as well, looking around as he says," It's......probably nothing."
I can't exactly see him with how dark the room is, but I turn to look at him anyway.
"How can you not smell that!"
"I do, it's just......There's nothing we can do for now. It's still early and many people are still up right now. Trust me, the best thing we can do right now is sleep."
'What does he mean by that? '
His hands trace all over the bed until they find mine. He takes them, rubbing gently.
"Come here."
I scoot over to his side of the bed, feeling his warmth as I get closer. He holds my back, laying me down gently before laying right beside me. Before I can ask what he's doing, he pulls me into his embrace so that my head is pressed against his chest.
"Is this supposed to sooth my senses?" I mumble into his chest. He chuckles saying," Not really but I did take a shower earlier so maybe my body wash will overcome the smell."
As soon as he says this, I get a strong whiff of his scent. It smells like cocoa butter, maybe it's the motel's lotion. I wouldn't know since I didn't put any on. With our body temperatures combined the bed starts to grow warmer. I snuggle into his embrace, taking in even more of his scent.
"Told you that you'd like it," he teases.
Being too tired to respond, I let myself fall into a deep sleep with his long breaths playing as my white noise.
I've been so exhausted all day; my body feels like it's been through hell and back. I'm so glad to be finally getting some sleep. That is until I'm shaken by a strong force.
"August, wake up," James whispers while shaking me.
The bed creaks as I turn away from him. He gets up, turning on the lights as he urges me," We need to leave now."
"Why?" I mumble while cuddling with my pillow.
"We need to get rid of the bodies."
My eyes shoot open as I sit up," What!"
"Ssh," he raises his index finger to his mouth before continuing," I couldn't exactly do it earlier with all those people outside."
My heart races as my eyes scan all over the room," No way they're still in here with us right now."
"Hate to break it to you but they are."
'So that stench from earlier was coming from them? I knew it. '
James grabs my hand, pulling me out of bed as he groans," Let's go sleeping beauty, I need you to drive the car. There's an old road right behind the motel that no one goes to, I need you to park there and wait for me."
He pulls my car keys from out his pocket and hands them to me. I stare at them for a while thinking,' Does he really trust me enough to drive by myself? Isn't he worried about me taking off? '
As if reading my eyes, he says," I know you won't leave me august, we need each other."
My eyes dart back to his, kind of getting what he's saying. I'm not sure about him needing me but I know that I need him. He's important to me.
He picks my coat up off the floor and hands it to me," It's four in the morning so I doubt that there would be anyone up at this hour. I'll meet you behind the motel in ten minutes, just make sure that the trunk is open, okay?"
"Okay," I answer breathlessly. My chest feels heavy with anxiety, I can already see this going left. 'What if we're caught? What if there are people up right now, they'll definitely call the cops.'
"August, you got this," he reassures me as he walks me to the front door. I take in a deep breath before leaving. I do as he says by starting the car and driving off to the old road behind the motel. Luckily for me, there wasn't a single soul up. I park close by the forest that separates the motel from the road and get out to open the trunk. Just as James says, he shows up ten minutes later carrying something wrapped up in bed sheets. I can see the sheets dripping with blood as he tosses the body in the trunk, as if he's throwing away garbage.
I rub my hands, trying to keep them warm as I look out for any cars coming. The road we're on doesn't have any streetlights, so everything is pitch black. We were only a few feet away from the forest, which really creeped me out, but I managed to stay calm.
"I'll be right back. I need to get the other body," he says just before disappearing back into the woods. I stand by the driver's door, waiting for him once more. I can feel my ears starting to turn red from the cold. I'm relieved to see that everything so far has turned out okay. I got here without running into anyone, we already have one body in the car and there's no streetlights here so if there is anyone up, they can't see us. The only source of light out here is my taillights. Everything is going as planned, that is until I see a pair of headlights slowly creeping up the road.
My heart races as the fear of getting caught creeps back in me. I quickly run to the trunk to shut it but due to the body's feet hanging out, it bounces back open. The headlights of the other car were quickly approaching, making my blood run cold.
'Dammit, whose ever in that car is starting to stop. '
I quickly push the feet into the trunk and shut it just as the car stops beside me. The person in the other car slowly comes out, revealing their attire.
"Morning sir," The officer says as he approaches me.
"...morning officer."
He looks me up and down with a smile before pulling out a flashlight, aiming it to my face. I raise my hand up to block my eyes," Can I help you sir?"
"I could ask you the same question," his once friendly voice turns cold," You are aware of a notorious man hunt that is going around in this area, right?"
I run my fingers through my hair as I come from behind my car, he takes a step back instantly.
'Okay August you got this! '
"I'm sorry if I worried you by being out here. It's just that I've been driving since late last night and only just now realized that my trunk was open. I only stopped down this road to close it."
The officer flashes his light around the area before looking back at me," Is that so?"
I nod with a fake smile plastered on my face.
He glares at me for a while before sighing," Well then, you should also know that this area is known for its black bears, that's why we have a strict curfew around these parts. But I guess since you didn't know, I'll cut you some slack. Have a goodnight sir."
I let out a sigh of relief as he begins walking back to his car but just before he makes it to the door, the sound of leaves rustling in the distance catches his attention. We both turn our heads to the noise, staring off into the forest behind the motel. The officer's hand hovers over his gun as he turns to look back at me," Did you hear that?"
"I.........uh, it's probably the bears you mentioned earlier," I shrug my shoulders while letting out a nervous laugh. His brows come close together as he looks around once more with his flashlight.
"Maybe......" he clicks his tongue," Well anyways, get a move on. I don't need another tourist dying because a bear got hungry again."
My nose scrunches at his empathetic words," Will do sir, I just need to make sure that my trunk is closed before I leave."
The officer turns off his flashlight as he finally opens his car door. He gives me one last look of suspicion through his window before taking off down the road. Soon as his taillights disappear around the corner, I let out a long breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.
As I focus on my breathing, James appears out the forest with the other body thrown over his shoulder. Without saying anything, I help him put it in the trunk. Soon as we're done laying them side by side, we close the trunk.
I feel nauseous just thinking about what I did,' I really am an accomplice now. '
"August."
I turn to find him staring at my hands that held the car keys, thinking that he wants them back; I hand them to him, but he doesn't take them. Instead, he pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me.
"Your hands just now were trembling, were you afraid of getting caught?"
"You saw?"
"I was about to step out the forest with the other body when I spotted you two. I stepped on a few sticks as I went to hide behind a tree, that's why it took me so long to come back. I'm sorry."
"...it's okay," I mumble.
We hold each other for a bit before heading inside the car. The plan is to bury the bodies in the largest forest around here, the Johnson woods. We were only a few miles from it, so it didn't take us long to arrive. James insisted that I'd stay in the car while he buried the bodies. He said that I helped him enough and that he doesn't want to put me through anymore trauma. I agreed upon staying in the car but as time passed, I couldn't help but think about what that cop said earlier. This whole area is known for its bears, and honestly its scares me thinking about James being out there on his own. I waited for about an hour before I finally decided to get out the car and check on him.
The sun was now beginning to rise so I didn't have to worry about not being able to see where I'm going. It was easy for me to find James since he had big feet, his shoe prints were seen very clearly in the mud. I found him digging a hole not too far from the road, I was about to call out to him until I saw him dumping Kyles body in the hole. My heart ached seeing him being thrown into the ground. He was clearly just a kid struggling for a better life, kind of like me. He even helped me when Sam was about to kick my ass back in that diner. He was dragged along into a life full of misery and now here he is being tossed away like he's nothing.
After James gets done burying him, he notices me standing a few feet away.
"August," he calls out, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yes?"
"I thought I told you to wait for me in the car," he scolds me, but my mind is elsewhere.
"James..."
"What?"
"Do you think anyone will miss them?" I can feel my eyes tearing up as I think of what I did. Instead of helping these people, I just stood there. Now I'm even taking part of their death.
He stares at the buried dirt for a minute then spits on the grave saying," Probably not."
It hurt seeing that, but I say nothing, what could I say? The damage is already done.
We soon head back on the road, heading to Nashville. Seeing as I barely got any sleep last night, James lets me take a nap in the backseat. Everything that has happened in the last two days plays out in my head like I'm reliving it all over. I just keep seeing the images of those victims' families when they find out that their loved one is gone, it hurts. Even if Sam and Kyle were orphan's, they'd had to have someone at the orphanage who looked after them. I can't imagine how I'd be without Angus. If something were to happen to him, I'd simply die. And what's really eating me alive is how I didn't do anything when given the chance. I just froze, watching as James took the lives of three innocent boys. I hate how weak I am, how hesitant I am to speak up, how I simply just let things happen.
Worst of all, I hate how easily I've been influenced by James. How would Angus react if he knew his brother helped with getting rid of a body? He'd be so disappointed in me; he'd look at me the same way our parents do. He'll just see me as the disappointment that everyone hates. I hate how I've become.
A few hours pass and I'm awaken by the sound of humming. I sit up, yawning as I fall back into reality.
"Sorry, Did I wake you?" James says while looking at me through the rearview mirror. I itch my head as I look outside, there's nothing but other cars passing by us on the highway.
"You didn't wake me; I woke up on my own."
"Good, well I got you something," he hands me a McDonalds bag from the passenger's seat with a grin.
"How?" I ask while taking it.
"Thank god for drive throughs, right? All I had to do was put my hat on and no one recognized me."
"I see", I open the bag, revealing a breakfast sandwich and a biscuit. The aroma makes my mouth water as I take a big bite out of the sandwich.
"Maybe I should've gotten you two," he chuckles.
I devour the sandwich in a few more bites then dig into my biscuit. I haven't eaten McDonalds in so long, ever since I broke up with my girlfriend. She never cooked so I'd always pick something up for dinner after work, which was McDonalds. I developed an unhealthy habit of eating from there every day, though I didn't gain any weight. I never gain weight even when I try to. My body has been lengthy and scrawny all my life. Though I'm insecure about it, it's just something I've accepted over time.
After I'm done eating, I lean back in my seat and rub my stomach," I think I ate too fast."
"You should get more rest; I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon unless you have to use the restroom."
"I'll be fine for now."
I roll down the window a little, leaning my head on it. I let the cold air in to awaken my body. James begins talking about how long we have to travel until we reach Nashville, but I sort of just shut him out. Now that I've got some sleep, I can think clearly. Mainly about our relationship. 'Do I really see myself being with him or was it just the heat of the moment type of situation? I should figure this all out now before things get worse. Like me having to witness another murder. Will I have to get used to that if we start dating? Do I have to be surrounded by death all the time just to be with him? That's not the life I imagined myself having. '
"August you okay? You're awfully quiet back there."
"My um, foot hurts a bit that's all. I was thinking about how I'm probably going to have a limp."
He sees right through my lie and asks again," Are you sure? Please don't block me out. Let me know when you're upset."
I bite my tongue, not sure if I should tell him the truth or not.
"Well," I clear my throat before continuing," I was just wondering if I'll have to get used to seeing you kill people if we stay together like this. I want to see you as a good guy but then again, I'm absolutely terrified of you."
He listens to me carefully, pondering over the situation before saying," I understand how of you feel, I do. And I hate to say it, but there will be times when you see a dark side of me, a lot of times actually. I can't help it, it's just who I am. But trust me when I say this, I never want to put you in the position you were in today. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to do something you hate just to please me. The best thing we can do for each other is just try to understand each other. I love you august."
'There he goes again, saying those words so carefreely. I feel uneasy when he says that, maybe because I haven't heard it enough as a child. Those words make me sad but also elated. My heart feels like it's being pulled by a thousand strings. '
"I.........," I want to say it back, but I can't. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he reassures me.
I stay in the backseat for some time, thinking over our conversation until I'm comfortable enough to climb back up front. James continues driving while humming to a song on the radio. I stare out the window tiredly, wondering about what Angus is doing. Things stay this way until about an hour later when the sun starts to set.
Driving for so long has drained us both so we stop by a convenience store for a break. There was now a global search for James so he couldn't risk being in public areas anymore. With him having to protect his identity, I was left to go inside by myself. Before he sends me inside, he tells me a list of things to get. My money ran out a while ago, but James had money of his own, a lot of it. He hands me a few dollar bills and a list, just before I open the door, he stops me.
"Wait."
"Yeah?"
"What kind of movies do you enjoy watching?" he asks out of the blue. I think that he's joking until I see a determined look in his eyes. 'Is he really that serious about this? '
I think for a bit, recalling recent movies I watched.
"I'd have to say comedy. My life isn't romantic nor thrilling so I enjoy a good laugh once in a while."
"Comedy......," he mumbles as if thinking over something important. "Alright you can go."
I finally go into the store and pick up the items he told me to get; Food, beer, cigarettes, drinks and a blanket if I could find one, which I did. When I get back to the car, I notice that James has a weird look on his face. Like he's planning something. I raise my brow while tilting my head," What's up?"
"Nothing."
"...sure."
He waits for me to put on my seatbelt before pulling off.
After a few minutes of silent driving, he breaks the silence," I know you're still tired so use that blanket you just bought to cover yourself."
"I'm not tired but I am cold, so okay."
I pull the blanket out from one of the bags in the back and cover myself.
Around ten minutes later I fall back to sleep. By time I wake up again, it's dark out and we've seemed to stop somewhere.
"Where are we?" I groan as I sit up.
"Look outside."
I look through the windows, realizing that were surrounded by other cars. A large movie projection screen is facing all the cars in the parking lot, playing an old comedy movie in black and white. My eyes widen as I turn to James, whose grinning ear to ear.
"Did you do this for me?"
"Well, I could clearly see that you were upset earlier so I wanted to do something special for you to make you feel better."
I can feel my mouth forming into a bright smile. He leans over to me slowly. I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep a steady breath. Our lips are only inches away from each other.
'He's going to kiss me! '
I close my eyes waiting for it, but it never comes. Instead, he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. It was quick but still enough to make my stomach flip.
"I want to make you happy August," he leans back in his seat with a smirk.
'You've already have. '