CHAPTER 8
NICOLLE'S POV
I just looked at him quite disgusted. And why the hell would I hold his freaking dirty hand?! I mean, for Chipe’s sake! I don’t need him telling me to get out of here, let alone, hold his ghastly hand.
"What?” was all that came out of my mouth.
He didn’t say anything. He just rolled his eyes in lieu. He suddenly took my hand and dragged me with much brunt. Had I not been following rule number one, I could have kicked him right where he wouldn’t want me to.
Man, oh man. I really had enough with this freaking monster. He’s a spoiled fucking brat. He would do whatever he wants, to whoever he wants, whenever he wants, wherever he wants. What a narcissist.
I decided to control my temper and not to murder him in front of all these sumptuous people who probably own at least twenty luxurious cars in their smallest mansion. And, let me break it down, I was forced to do so because of this "let's-try-to-look-real" thing.
I wanted to throw up.
A stringent smile emerged on my face while I tried to look down so people wouldn’t see me. He was still holding my hand, pulling me through the crowd that gathered around the dance floor, slow dancing All of a sudden, he placed my arms around his shoulder. Not just on his shoulder, around his shoulder; his perfectly—Whatever!
In turn, his arms snaked around my waist.
I looked at my eyes. I knew these were just contacts. These aren’t his real eyes. And I was so intrigued to see his real eyes, so I could look right down his soul. Right through him. I wanted him to be transparent.
What?!
I shook my head slightly. I couldn’t think like that or I’ll break rule number five. And I shouldn’t!
I tried not to look at his eyes but I was so attracted like a metal to a magnet. It’s like there’s something going on in his eyes that made me want to drown in them. Want to but can’t. Because if I did, I would really be breaking rule number five. And it’s like the most important rule!
Look down. Look down, I willed myself.
Look down. Look down.
Aaand… I stared deeper in his eyes.
Was it just my imagination or was he doing the same to me?
My breath got caught somewhere down my throat. Deep, deep down my throat. What is he doing to me? I looked down, finally and swallowed the words that would never come and instead say, “I need a booze.”
I tried to take my hands off but he compressed me even more to him. I closed my eyes. I could hear his heartbeat. And I could hear mine was just as fast as his. I should be hating this. But why am I liking it?
For all I thought, that dance with Andrew was heaven.
It wasn’t.
And as much as I hate to admit it, this is more heavenly.
I’m in a deep shit.
"Huwag kang bibitaw, Amgirl,” he said quietly.
I mustered my voice and replied, "You should've at least tried to ask if I would like to dance."
I looked at him and saw him smiling. Smiling. Blake Perez is actually smiling. It was not the usual smirk marked on his pretty face. It was a real smile.
And it tugged my heart in a weird way.
And I like the weirdness.
"Shut up. Wag ka ng magsalita. After neto, iuuwi na kita. Oks?"
I nodded and did as told. I didn’t speak anymore. What for? I don’t even know how to talk, let alone what to say.
We kept stepping from one side to another. I didn’t see anything anymore. It was just the Z-rated Monster and the American Girl. It was just Perez and Lee. It was just Blake and Nicolle. It was just me and him.
I was still looking down. I could feel his hot breath above me. it was as hot as my face, right now. Why am I doing this? I asked myself but id didn’t dare try to answer. I don’t care. It was just so…pure.
When the fifth or sixth (lost count) song finished, I felt his lips on top of my head. Are we still pretending or is that real? I gulped and my face got redder. I was so glad he couldn’t see. “Ang ganda mo ngayon,” he whispered quietly. My cheeks are tomato.
He released me and I released him. He held my hand as I thanked him. He bent head down and slowly, very slowly, his lips were traveling toward mine. I wanted his lips to be so close to mine but I won’t. I shouldn’t. It’s just so visibly erroneous. I looked down and instead of finding my mouth, his lips felt my forehead. When I looked back to his eyes, they were glinting with something I can’t define.
After that, he pulled me again through the crowd, and without letting anyone know, we left. He was kind of dragging me until we reach outside.
And I couldn’t do anything but think of that dance. My heart did and still does quake loudly everytime I think about how we sway awkwardly and clumsily yet so fittingly.
I found myself smiling.
The moment we were out of the garden, we saw Tracy sitting alone on a bench. I considered. But he then held my hand again.
"Go, talk to her,” I told him. I nodded towards the direction of Tracy. I smiled at let his hand go. And just a second after I did so, Tracy stood up and accidentally saw us. She smiled at us then slowly walked towards us and with her every step I could feel how anxious Perez was. It was very weird, how I could sense that.
"Can we talk?" Tracy asked.
Perez nodded and I took a few steps back to give them some space and privacy. Tracy thanked me and I just smiled. I sat down under a tree. I wasn't looking at them so I was half guessing and half wondering if they're making up already. Well, I hope so. So I could get out of this situation. It’s creeping me out already.
I felt the chilly night wind. A few minutes have passed but they're still talking. I checked my phone to see if I have received any messages and I did. One from Zelle, one from Luke and one from an unsaved number. I read the last one.
"Hey, Nicolle, thanks for coming to my party. Andrew told me you left with Blake. I hope to hang out with you soon. Take care :)) Love, Kirsty."
A smile spread across my face as I read the message. It was sweet, considering that it was just the first time that we met and that I didn't even say goodbye to her. I hit the reply button and started to compose a message.
"No, thank you, for letting me in your party. I wish you a very very happy life. And I am so sorry for leaving so soon. And yep, we have the same feelings of wanting to hang out sooner. Take care back. :)) -Nicolle."
Of course, I wasn't expecting a fast reply since Kirsty is still busy with her party. I threw my phone into my purse again and my mind started to wander. Flashback to the moment Andrew and I are dancing. It was heaven but I felt weirder when Perez's eyes and mine met. I was dancing with Andrew and he was dancing with Tracy. It was a very awkward moment, really. And I thought more awkward moments are yet to come. And yes, this moment right here is just another one. I finally looked at them. They were still talking. They look so serious. Right then and there, Perez knelt down in front of Tracy.
I was shocked, of course.
I never expected a badass monster to kneel down in front of a girl. He really did love Tracy. And yes, I guess they are already making up and I can finally get my ass off of this mess. A beautiful mess. But still a mess. Yet still beautiful. And by a hook or crook, it kind of hurts knowing that something is about to end when it did not really start. I smiled, nonetheless. I am happy.
But then, I saw Tracy walked away leaving Perez crying. My eyes grew wider. Tracy walked away from a crying guy. I stood up but someone from beside grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"Wag mo siyang lapitan."
I looked at him. He’s got a serious face on. I just looked at him then suddenly he hugged me.
He hugged me.
"Don't look at him. Hayaan mo siya, Nicolle. Please, 'wag kang masaktan. 'Wag kang masaktan."
I wanted to scoff but instead I let out a breath. Andrew’s dramatic and theatrical, it was so damn funny! Did he really think I was in love with Perez?
But why does something feel so different? What something, I don’t know. What kind of different? I don’t know.
"I'm ok, Andrew."
He then let go of me and smiled. I understood how much he's hurt seeing his best friend in pain. I closed my eyes and sat again.
"Pupuntahan ko si Tracy."
He smiled and I smiled back then he left. I saw Perez walking near me, smiling. I knew for certain, it was just a fake smile. I stood up then I held his hand. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to hold his hand. Just this one time when I think he needed it. He needed warmth from the coldness.
"Tara, I'll walk you home."
I nodded in agreement. He just needed someone to talk to.
"Amgirl, gustong gusto mong hinahawakan ang kamay ko no?"
Then he laughed. Wow. What a stuck-up asshole. One second he was emotionally begging, and then the next, he was being so full of himself. I was right, he was bipolar.
I naturally pushed his hand away and hit him in the arm. That's what he gets for treating me like one of his diehard fans when I am not. We walked in saturninity under the dim light of the moon and stars and the lampposts. It was an eerie yet graceful silence. I checked the time. Wow, it was already 3 AM.
They say, time flies when you’re happy. Was I happy or time got its own wings?
Given the time, I was still wide awake. I sighed and maybe it caught Perez’s attention. He looked at me. And I looked back at him. Then I saw a bench nearby.
"Let's rest for a while, please?"
He just shrugged. I sat and removed my heels. I've been itching to walk straight without trying hard to not look like a walking drunk woman. Right after I removed my heels, Blake took them and stood up. He bent in front of me. What the hell?
"What are you doing?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I'll be your ride for tonight."
No. No freaking way. He actually wants me to ride piggy on him? Like duhh?! I can be heavy as hell and he can be as dangerous as freaking hell.
"Tara na! 'Wag ka ng maarte jan! Alam ko namang masakit na paa mo eh. Dami pang arte!"
Ok, I had to agree with that one. Yeah, he's right. My feet are hurting. I mean, very hurting. It's not my fault that I don't wear heels that much. I'm more of a Chuck Taylors girl, you know?
So, I finally did ride piggy on him. Crazy. His body radiates warmth which made me unsure of what I was feeling. Was it comfort? Or sadness? Or satisfaction? Or just… I just feel so bad that I judged him that easily without knowing his side of the story. How much of a bitch am I?
I never thought he could be one kind guy. He was silent and so was I. As we walked down the street, I tightened my hold around his neck.
"Huy! Papatayin mo ba 'ko?"
I just laughed. "Want to," I responded.
I heard his 'Ts' but didn't mind it. Then I realize, this is not the way home. Where is this guy taking me? I asked him to let me down and he did. Probably because I was too heavy to handle? Well, I guess I am.
"Isuot mo na 'to!"
He is offering me my heels but I refused to take them. I swear, I am never going to wear heels again in my entire freaking life. Heels suck. He insisted but I already made up my mind. As I rolled my eyes and looked straight on the road, I heard him groan. A loud, very audible groan.
"What?" I asked, raising my voice.
"Wala. Bakit ba kasi ayaw mong kunin tong heels mo? Mukha kang tanga.Nakapaa ka!"
Who cares if I am barefooted?! No one in town is as awake as we are, so I thought, no one will see us. I looked back on the dim lighted road. The lamp posts were the only things that provide light. Of course, along with the stars and the moon. There's cold breeze enveloping the atmosphere. Plus the coldness of the cemented side walk crawling up from my bare foot up to my head. All in all, this felt really good.
"Where we goin', by the way?"
There was silence for awhile. I felt alone. I looked at my right side but gosh! I didn't see him. I almost panicked. I looked at my left side and he wasn't there. Where on earth did that guy go? I looked back and saw him walking fast towards me. Barefooted.Holding his sneakers on his left hand and my heels on his right hand. I almost laughed when I realized that he was the most gorgeous guy tonight in the part yet he was wearing only sneakers and no tie. Not that formal, eh? Had we not left, he would be crowned as a ‘spotlight thief’.
"You just removed your shoes. You are barefooted."
He nodded.
"Para dalawa tayong mukhang tanga."
I smiled at the thought. This monster is full of surprises. First, he showed me how true his love for Tracy is, then he was so gentleman to make me ride piggy on him and now, he was so sweet to join me in my barefooted revolution. That made my night. Or day. Blake Perez made me smile.
"Eto! Eto! Dito tayo pupunta."
He pointed at the other side of the road. My eyes grew wide. The lights were covering everything. This was the brightest thing I have ever seen. He held my hand and we ran toward the place. I smiled even more. Now, he brought me to a very beautiful place. Almost like Paris, with the lights.
It was just a simple playground.
There was swings, slides, monkey bars and many more. It was bright. I sat on one of the swings and then swing away. Then Perez dropped our shoes then ran to the most gigantic slide. I watched him as he laughed like a little kid playing on a smooth metal 'ramp'. He looked cute, though. I will never have a clue that he can be one monster if this was the first time I see him. More slides. More laughter. More smiles across my face.
After a few minutes, I felt him sitting on the swing next to mine. I didn't look at him. I focused myself on playing with these moist grasses with my feet. I looked him out the corner of my eyes. His eyes were narrowed and somehow wondering why I decide to torture these helpless grasses.
I looked at him.
I smiled.
He then removed his coat and stood in front of me. The next thing he did made me shock. He covered my thighs. Now, he acts like protective Mr. Lee. That’s when I remembered I was wearing a dress. It was so simple, yet it felt so dear.
"Malamig."
That's the only thing he said then sat on the grass in front of me. He looked up to a staring girl. “Why do you hate me a lot?” he asked.
He was wearing a poker face. I shrugged and my eyebrows scrunched. I let a breath out before I say anything.
“Well, the truth is… I did hate you. But not anymore, ok? I’m starting to know you, so I’m starting to hate you less.”
I looked up the sky and my mind wandered to that scene on the second day of class.
I walked through the hallways alone and those girls just can’t keep their eyes off of me. Am I that hot? Or they’re just that whore? I’ll prefer the second one. Taking a deep breath and wishing that that freaking monster who sat beside me earlier will not attend classes anymore. I entered the room. Girls have got their eyes hooked on me. Boys have got their eyes hooked on me. It’s disturbing, really.
Is this what people with dignity gets?
I just shook my head and went to my seat. Everyone’s still staring at me. Come on! When will they realize that staring at me will not lower the gas’ price? Oh please! I let out a looong looong looong breath then turned my head to the door where an old woman is entering. Filipino teacher. I sighed. Gotta survive this. She greeted us with her ‘goodmornings’ and everyone returned it to her.
I looked to my right and the monster still not here. Good thing. That’s a very good thing. I drew circles at the back of my notebook. Filipino is so hard. I don’t even know what this teacher in front of me is talking about. I don’t think anyone does. I got fed up on drawing circles since I can’t perfect one so I started staring at the wall. See? Even staring at the wall becomes so interesting when there’s a teacher in front of you who keeps talking and talking and talking. But it helped me though; no one stares at me anymore, temporarily. Duh!
Just a few minutes have passed and I felt extra bored! This isn’t anything like my school in New York where all my best friends are. I so miss Billy and Macey. They’re like the super duper coolest friends ever. I miss the moments when we would ditch classes and just walk through the hallways and play like criminals hiding from school hall monitors. Yeah, we did that at middle school. We also did the same thing in high school minus the hall monitors. There are no hall monitors in high school. The thing’s for weirdos. We even used to pretend we are just freshmen then act so idiotic and insane in front of the real freshmen. We even bully them. That was so fun. And oh! I remember when Macey and I threw Vincent’s phone in the trash and pretended it was Billy who did that. That gave Macey and I a tummy killing laugh.
My remembering-NY moment was brushed off when suddenly my left ear absorbed some irritating voice. I looked to my right and was shocked and annoyed and felt like killing someone all in the same instance.
I rolled my eyes, seeing the monster sitting beside me then turned my back on him. That’s what he gets from annoying me the first time I see him. People are like this you know. My Filipino period ended with me staring on the wall and this monster staring at me. By the time the teacher left the classroom everyone started staring at me… us, actually. I stood up then dragged my armchair away from him.
And guess what? He did the same thing. He dragged his armchair closer to mine. What? Is he gonna do this for the rest of the school year?! This is so ridiculous.
I looked at him and still, he is staring at me. I shot him with my best death glare. Unfortunately, instead of being afraid I might eat him alive, he chuckled. Chuckling? He’s been doing that for a while now. He answers all my death glares with a chuckle. What’s so funny about my death glare, anyway?
“Hey, Amgirl.”
“What?” I asked, irritated. With my eyes narrowed, I waited for the next things that’ll exit his mouth.
“Nothing.”
Then he winked. Whoa. What was that for? Is he trying to seduce me or something? Cause it’s not gonna work. Never. I started drawing circles again. And he started staring at me again. Oh, I would so love to poke those big black eyeballs with my finger. But no, I do not want to touch even just a single strand of his blonde hair. I’ll be sick if I did. No freakin way!!
Hours passed. It’s the last 10 minutes of the last period this morning. I was so relieved that this monster beside me is letting go of his record breaking stare at me. How many hours have he been focusing his eyes on me?
He is tough. I keep on looking at my wrist watch. You know, to check how many minutes I’m still gonna be spending in this hell.
9 minutes have passed already. Hm. Drawing circles seems to be a big help speeding time up. The last one minute, I was counting down… silently. I was on 45 seconds and I hear the monster dictating different numbers. Yeah, he was distracting me. 5…4….3…2….1. Hell, yeah! The teacher said his goodbyes and the whole class did too. I grabbed my bag and went to go out. Just when I was about to exit the room, the monster blocked me.
“Sit at the back,” he commanded sternly.
I felt my jaw dropped again and nostrils grew bigger because of anger. Hold on… what did he just say?
“Who do you think are to tell me what to do? Just go away from me and mind your own freakin’ business.”
I said that out loud. It’s just my 2nd day at school and I’ve already earned a lot of enemies by just raising my voice at this monster. Well yeah, his fan club will be eating me. But I really don’t mind. He deserves it anyway. I don’t care if they hate me or not. Just as long as cockroaches don’t crawl on me, I feel safe.
He gave me that smirk of his again and it’s making me burn. Burn of anger. I walked nearer to him and crossed my arms over my chest. Taking a deep breath and preparing myself for this war I’m about to get involved to, I looked at him and shot him with my bestest death glare. He raised his eyebrows and everyone was in silence.
“You may be so handsome, cool, popular, rich, powerful and all, but do you really think you can walk around and act like you’re some kind of a god? Huh? You’re not even qualified to be a human being. How can you be so bossy and make others do things you want them to do? You’re such a jerk. And do you know what makes you so hateful in my eyes? You look like a freakin’ gangster but you’re worse than one.”
Everyone was still in silence, probably shocked of what I shouted in front of their prince’s face. The monster was obviously waiting for more. So, is he not satisfied with everything I said? He wants more? Well if that’s the case, I’ll give him some more. This time, he better mark everything that I’ll say in his very microscopic mind. I opened my mouth but he interrupted me with what I’m saying.
“Come on. Will you please stop pretending that you don’t like me? I know you’ve got the hots for me.”
Wait, what did he just say? I like him? Oh, he’s daydreaming. He’s being full of himself again. He smirked again while wiggling his eyebrows. That made me roll my eyes. My body being stiff and my head being hot and my mouth being uncontrollable, I took a deep, deep breath again.
“Shut up and look at the mirror. I’m not like the other girls out there who will scream the whole day ‘til they rip their throats out just because they saw the tip of your hair. No, I’m different. I’m not like those female dogs. And if you really think I’m one of those bitches who stalk you 25 hours a day, then think. Oh wait, I forgot. You don’t even have a mind to think. So, just a piece of advice, don’t bother me or you’ll hurt your skull.”
I tilted my head and he tilted his. I just hope his whole life flashes in front of him so he realizes all the jerky things he did his whole useless life. He was about to talk when I opened my mouth and strike him with something personal. He’ll get hurt. That’s for sure. After all, I don’t think his heart ain’t made of stone or metal or something.
“Do you have a girlfriend? If you do, she should be so stupid to love you, but not to worry, she’ll break up with you after she realizes what mess she got into. If you don’t, well, you deserve it. No girl should be so hooked to you and your stinky attitude. If she just broke up with you, she was so stupid. She should’ve done that a long long time ago. And in the first place, if she’s a decent person, she will not fall in love with you. Or perhaps she just played around with some junk, like you.”
Okay, I’m rude like that. Well, at least, I got something off of my chest. It feels better now. I noticed that his smirk disappeared on his face and I feel like a smirk is starting to appear on mine. The silent environment changed into the whispering and murmuring of the mob. I hear them say that my life will be ruined, that I should’ve not asked that, that I should start packing up and leave immediately if I want to live a peaceful life. Funny, how these people can’t stand up to an asshole.
Perez grabbed my arm tightly. His face reflects anger, so much anger. I expected that. It was my goal, by the way. Any moment now, he can transform into a green, overly muscular, angry giant… incredible hulk. I didn’t mind his grasp on my hand. I was just looking at him. Staring at him and waiting patiently for what he’s gonna say or what’s gonna happen next. He darted me that super death glare, way better than mine. And if stares can really murder, I probably should be dead by now.
“What do you know about me?”
He then let go of my arm then walked away, exiting through the door. I was left there, standing. All eyes on me. The spotlight’s on me. I looked around only to find that everyone’s still. No motion seen. No words spoken. I can see very clearly that surprise dominates their faces. Shock, if I may. I didn’t expect they will look like that after the show.
Wait, is it the first time that someone stood up against that guy? Well, if it is. I’m so happy that I did it. Finally, someone made him realize how much of a jerk he is. Not so long, some tall, guy entered. It was Andrew Bailey. His brown eyes met everyone’s shocked face. He was shocked as well.
I was back to life. Now, I regret saying those things to him. He was right. Perez was right. I didn’t know anything about him. I called his name out and he looked at me.
“I’m sorry.”
He displayed an irritating smirk on his face. He stood up then messed my hair up. Oh, this sucks! It took me minutes to… ah! Nevermind.
“It’s ok, Amgirl.”
I went back to staring at the sky. A smile slowly spreading across my face. Maybe he was right. Perez is a different kind of monster. I almost cried at the thought. I misjudged him. I was so rude to him. I never know how kind and sweet and honest and forgiving and protective and good he is. I apologized again. He just nodded and his next words ran through my mind… confusing me.
“I love you…”