I found Saxton sitting in a booth he had two plates set on the table filled with steamed vegetables, a fresh dinner roll and some seasoned chicken.It made my stomach growl.
I slid into the booth and smiled gratefully across at Saxton as I said" This smells amazing thank you Saxton."
The boy grinned as he stuffed his dinner roll into his mouth. I smiled at his antics. I was happy that despite the horrors of the other night he still had his energy. That he could smile and be a kid.
I was finished eating when Kaz approached. He dismissed Saxton and took his seat across from me.
He started moving Saxton's uneaten veggies around with the fork that was left on the plate.
He wouldn't look at me and it made me nervous.
I couldn't stand his silence so I said softly,"Kaz I'm sorry if you think I'm not being honest with you. I understand you see this as a betrayal. I assure you I'd tell you anything that is important. The thing is I'm not certain about this issue and I have to wait to get some confirmation. Can you allow me some time.?"
He still wouldn't look at me or speak to me and I was about at my limit. This was a form of emotional manipulation and I knew this game better than he realized. He would not get to play this way with me.
I reached across the table and grabbed his gloved hands. He flinched but didn't try to fight me or push me off. It did have him finally looking up at me though and the look he gave me speared me.
I growled at him," Kaz come on be fucking reasonable. You don't get to play this game with me. Not me. I won't allow it."
Kaz narrowed his eyes and pulled from my grasp. Sneering at me he said, " You won't allow it? As to assume you control anything here. Just because I've fucked you, this doesn't give you any more power here. You don't get to dictate anything to me in my own club."
I was stung by his harsh words and I struggled to understand the anger that he was throwing my way. While I wouldn't cower I would demand more respect from him though.
" Don't you fucking talk to me like that. I will not be disrespected by you or anyone else. You need to understand something. I will not be anything less than your equal. If you cannot give me that than we are done. " I seethed. I was so frustrated I was crying again my emotions frayed.
I went to get out of the booth and away from him but he said softly," Wait Amira, Goddammit stop."
I stilled and wiped furiously at my tears as I replied," What Kaz ? Tell me why I should stay here? Stay with you?"
Kaz moved swiftly out of his seat and came around to my side. I glared at him through my tears but I moved over so he could sit and face me properly.
He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears gently with his gloved thumbs. He was looking at me intensely as he said softly," I love you Amira, I'm sorry I'm such a broken,miserable asshole. I am so ready to expect the worst from others. You hiding things from me stirred up old wounds. I never should have spoken to you like that though. You deserve better from me and I promise to make up for my indiscretion against you. If you cannot tell me what is troubling you yet I'll try to be patient for you. Even when it isn't my strong suit. Can I earn your forgiveness or have I entirely ruined this, ruined us?"
I sniffed shaking my head at him. He could be both equally cruel and romantic with his words.
I knew that trauma didn't heal overnight and triggers were everywhere, I was not responsible for managing his triggers just as I didn't expect him to manage mine. If this was going to work we had to be on the same team.
I gave him a small smile as I said," You hurt me and you will make that right in time but we cannot keep tearing eachother down if we are going to do this. You have to have more faith in me. You need to trust that I have the best intentions."
"I promise to try to be better. I am awful at this so I cannot say I won't slip a time or two. Can I know just one thing Amira?" Kaz asked looking at me expectantly
I nodded saying, " Go on."
" This matter you cannot tell me about now, Will it harm you, myself or anyone under my protection?" Kaz asked me gently
" I certainly hope it won't. Depending on how it turns out it will mean things will change. Do you believe in destiny Kaz, that there is a set plan and we will always end up where we are meant to go?"
Kaz smirked at me then, " I believe in myself and my ability to survive.I believe in my people and in seeing my enemies fall. I make my own destiny Amira. It is the only way I know to survive this place."
I rolled my eyes at him before leaning closer to him. He watched me look at his mouth, he gave me a questioning look.
I grinned at him, " Despite you pissing me off Kaz I cannot seem to help myself from wanting to have your lips on mine. To dance my tongue against yours, to taste you."
Kaz groaned and licked his lower lip. It sent a shock straight to my core. Despite everything I desired him like no other. I knew that I should distance myself from him, show restraint as he needed to make up for his harsh words used against me earlier.
Kaz leaned even closer to me, a thrill of anticipation spread through me as he grazed the shell of my ear with his lips. His voice had deepened with arousal as he whispered, " If I kiss you I'm not going to stop until I have you naked beneath me. I will be inside you taking what I want. I don't deserve to have pleasure from your beautiful body until I am forgiven by you. So I will not kiss you now despite how desperate I am for you. "
He grazed my cheek gently with a gloved before he slid from the booth.
I shivered at the loss of his intense heat against me.
" Kaz..." I glanced up at him as he turned back to me.
" Amira. I know. I know." He smiled sweetly down at me before he walked away. His beautiful cane tapping in rhythm as he moved.
" Beautiful bastard, why can I not just stay mad at you?" I whispered under my breathe as I got up from the booth.
I decided I wanted to train. I hadn't practiced in a few days and I needed to focus on the plan Kaz had set up. I was hoping Inej would be up for a spar.
I found her in the room she occupied while she stayed in the club. She was sharpening her blades as she asked me to enter.
" Hey Inej I was hoping you'd be free to spar with me for a while. I find I have alot of pent up energy and I'd like to push myself and work on some close combat. Would you be willing to help me out?" I asked her
Inej smiled warmly at me as she strapped her arsenal onto her lithe body. She nodded saying simply," Yes Amira I'll be happy to. "
I grinned at her as I asked " Do you guys have a gym? Or a designated spot to practice?"
Inej cocked a brow at me," Of course,Kaz not show you?" Inej paused a moment before she continued,"I guess he has been preoccupied with other matters recently. Follow me."
I let Inej lead me from her room down a long corridor. It ended by a set of stairs and we made our way down.
At the bottom Inej took a left and I followed ignoring my curiosity about what was behind the closed doors we moved past.
Inej glanced over her shoulder at me before making a right turn. We were quiet as we walked.
We ended up at a large door and I waited as Inej pushed it open and entered.
I followed behind and stopped just inside the door. The room was large with high ceilings.
The walls were lined with weaponry of all sorts, blades in many shapes and sizes, staffs, crossbows,pistols,brass knuckles,and a hunting rifle.
"Impressive collection." I stated taking my time to look at all the blades.
" It is only part of our arsenal. We don't keep it all out incase someone attempts to raid the club and steal from us. " Inej stated.
I glanced over to see her stretching out in the centre of a painted ring in the middle of the room. The black tile was polished and shined under the bright overhead lighting.
" Makes sense. So what did you want to try first?" I asked Inej
" Why don't we start simple and just use our hands. " Inej grinned and pointed to the ring," Come stretch out and we'll begin."
I nodded and made my way over. I pushed up my sleeves and rolled my shoulders. I lifted my legs one at a time to stretch out my hamstrings.
I cracked my knuckles and rolled my wrists. When I was limbered up I faced Inej in the painted ring.
"Ready?" Inej asked me
"Yes." I replied softly and shifted to the left to avoid her sudden swing.
Inej was fast as I expected and I found that I was dancing around the ring to avoid her blows. I traded shots with her and we were both panting after 30 minutes of back and forth. Inej had managed to split my lower lip and I had bruised her cheek. The room had the copper tang of blood and sweetness of our sweat.
I licked my lip gingerly clearing away the dried blood.
" Inej ready for more?" I asked. Inej grinned wiping her sweat slick brow.
She moved to the wall and pulled down two staffs. She tossed one to me and I caught it easily. I tested its weight and moved it between my hands finding my grip.
I watched her twirl hers before she set herself down into a good strong stance.
She grinned and signaled me to begin again. I smiled as I swung the staff out trying to catch her ankles. She easily leapt over the swing and she quickly thrust her staff out at me and I had to leapt back from her or I'd be hit.
I advance again and swung in rapid succession over and over and Inej met each swing with her own counter measures. She ended up cracking the knuckles of my left hand hard and it made me nearly lose hold of my own staff. The nerves pulsed and I gritted my teeth as I fought to readjust my grip.
I swept low and started to sweep her legs again anticipating she would try to leap over the blow. When she did I lifted the staff quickly and knocked the back of her knees which made her tumble forward. She tucked into a forward roll and when she was almost back on her feet I swung towards her temple which forced her to fall to her side and it had her dropping her staff. I watched it roll away from her as she tried to scramble for it. She cursed and she swept her foot around to try to take my legs from under me. I leapt over her leg and moved back from her. She didn't relent she got back on her feet and pushed forward aggressively. When she was in arms reach she grabbed the bottom of my staff, she lifted and pushed shoving the pole into my chest, knocking the air from my lungs. I yanked the staff with all my might even as I struggled to get my breathing under control,pulling Inej in even closer. I shifted my grip,moving the staff into my right hand and I wrapped my left arm around Inej's neck to try to get her into submission. She lifted her knee up and I blocked with a low swept of the staff. As I was distracted deflecting that attack, she slid her arms quickly under my left arm and spread her arms outward yanking my arm away from her. She turned out and away of my hold.
I took the time to rub at my chest. I knew I'd have a bruise.
When Inej went to kick my stomach, I felt myself panic. I screamed out," No stop." And Inej quickly readjusted instead to kick my rib. I hadn't been quick enough to react in my panic and I felt the crack reverberate through my body. I screamed dropping my staff and landing back hard onto my other side. I ended up smashing my right elbow on the tile floor,an instant wave of pain shot up my arm making my hand go numb.
" Oh my fuck." I cursed tucking into a fetal position on my side fighting tears.
Inej raced over to me and knelt at my side her eyes wide," Amira I'm so sorry.Why did you try to stop that kick instead of just blocking it. Why were you so afraid just then?"
I sat up slowly shaking out my hand to get rid of the tingling. My rib throbbed and I found it hurt on each inhale.
I wasn't able to fight the tears that fell. What had I been thinking. I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet and I could have easily deflected her kick.
"Amira talk to me please, what happened?" Inej asked gently trying to meet my gaze.
I shuttered and raised my face to meet her worried expressionas I responded," Inej I might be pregnant. It is too early to know for sure yet but when I saw you kick at my stomach I panicked. It was stupid and I cannot afford to make these kinds of mistakes."
Her eyes widened and she dropped to her knees in front of me saying softly," Pregnant? Truly?Amira why would you try to spar with me if that is the case. I would never be able to forgive myself if I had done any permanent damage. Does Kaz know?"
I shook my head and winced as a pulse of pain shot through my side. I groaned before I said," No I haven't told him,not yet. I don't even know if I am, but there is a chance that I could be."
When I met Inej's gaze once more,her eyes were filled with unshed tears. I felt awful for the pain I saw reflected back at me. I knew then she realized it was truly over,that what she believed she had with Kaz had changed forever. Their bond was altered and their relationship was moving in a direction she hadn't anticipated or desired.
" Inej I'm truly sorry, I never set out to hurt you, I didn't have any plan but to steal from Kaz. I'm sorry to have caused you to lose him. " I told her sincerely
She shook her head at me, " No no apologies, I knew it was over before you even arrived I was just to scared to admit it to myself. I told him I couldn't love him if he wasn't whole. I have reflected on it and our pasts would always find a way to come between us. You though Amira, you can make him a better man. He is already changing because of your presence in his life. I see it. I just want to ask you to promise me something Amira."
" Of course Inej anything truly. " I said solemnly
She gave me a warm smile as she spoke again," Promise to never break his heart. He is not a perfect man,he can never be soft but he'll love you with everything he has and guard your heart, so promise to protect his too. Can you do that for me?"
I felt fresh tears spilling from my eyes as I nodded and said " Yes I promise."
Inej smiled and helped me to get up. She supported my weight easily.
" Let's get you to a healer to set that rib. Kaz is certainly not going to be impressed with us. " Inej sighed
And I laughed,but quickly cut it off as it caused my rib to throb more.
We made it slowly back up to the main parlor in amicable silence,Inej supporting me.
Unsurprisingly Kaz was there. It was like he had a sixth sense where I was concerned. He frowned and rushed over to us.
He growled at Inej," What the fuck happened?"
Inej glared back at him and before she could answer I spoke up," Dont talk to her like that Kaz. This isn't her fault. It is my own. I was careless and didn't properly deflect a kick. I cracked a rib. I would really rather not stand out here longer than necessary. If it wasn't apparent I'm in pain. Do me a favor and save the interrogation for later could you. Also be a gentleman and get me a healer."
Kaz glared at me but smartly didn't comment and rubbed his hand through his dark hair agitated. He narrowed his eyes at us but went to fetch the healer for me.
Inej chuckled and I wanted to share in her mirth but I didn't laugh, not wishing to endure more pain than necessary. I did smile though.
I met her gaze as I said gently," Any child I bring into this world will be so lucky. They will be the most loved and protected child. If I have a daughter one day I am thankful knowing that I'll have you and Nina with me. "
Inej graced me the most beautiful smile and my heart leapt to see it.