I walked through the wooden door and slammed it shut behind me, the loud room immediately grew silent as I made my way to the front. I turned to face my class.
"You will open your books to page 117 and read the chapter. Once you have finished, close your book and I will give you what you need to do the spell. There will be no talking." I ordered, my voice cold and hard.
Everyone did as I said without a word. I sat down at my desk and pulled a stack of papers towards me to grade. It had been a year and six months since the war ended. I had only returned to England to go to the funerals of those who died in the war, and even then I talked to no one. I also used poloyjuice potion and a hair from one of my coworkers so no one would know it was me. Harry knew, and he took the twins so I would not have to break my promise to Severus, Sirius and Professor McGonagall. As far as they knew, I had not returned to England since I left. Jasmine and Jr were now in a muggle elementary school as well. They both loved their classes and I enjoyed knowing they were busy while I was working. Every night I would tell them stories of Remus and make sure they knew how much he loved them. Though neither one remembered him as well, they loved the stories and they loved their dad.
Harry would normally come get the twins on weekends or school holidays (other then Christmas Day) and take them to England. While there, they would spend time with all their relatives. Sirius spoiled them more then he should most of the time. Other then Harry, Albus and the Weasley twins would some time visit. Frank and Alice had came to visit a total of three times, and Neville came once. The people at Georgia Magic knew nothing of my past. I never really talked to anyone and I never gave the Headmaster more information then he needed. In truth, I felt dead inside. It was only when I was with my kids, including Harry, that I felt even a tiny bit alive. I always felt so numb on the inside. It took me two months to stop crying, and I haven't cried since.
I rarely ever slept anymore. Sleeping normally brought nightmares and pain that I had tucked away. All the students in the school were terrified of me, and non of the staff liked me. They found me creepy and often wondered if I was a mass murderer, which I found funny, but I did not laugh. The only time I smiled or laughed was with my children, though I'm pretty sure Harry knew I was faking. Albus informed me at the beginning of the school term this year, that he wanted to call the school of Hogwarts together for a better understanding of the war. I thought this was a good idea because I still received the Daily Prophet and the lies I had seen where unreal. Albus also asked me to come, which I refused. He sent me a letter weekly asking me to show up, and I replied 'never' every week. He would be hosting this event on the 2nd anniversary of the war.
Actually, because of the lies I had read in the Daily Prophet, I knew Severus was going through a lot, and I sent Silky to bring me his papers to grade, without him knowing. This was what I did during my classes and I graded mine at night. I knew Severus knew it was me grading them, we had been around each other enough for him to noticed my handwriting, obviously. However, he never once complained nor communicated with me at all. He did leave Silky snacks though.
Jessie was someone I missed more then my heart could take. I honestly didn't know how to move on without her. Every night, when I finally would lay down, I would crawl under my bed and look into the darkness. This was something I use to do when I lived with Tim. It was my safe spot. Every night I expected to hear Jessie say, "little one." Like she use to when I lived with Tim. Sometimes I would try to cry, thinking this is what I needed, but the tears never came. My only guess was that I had ran out of tears, though I knew this was impossible.
After my classes for the day were over, I would go and pick up the twins and take them back to Georgia Magic. From there I would head to my classroom and start whatever detentions I had while the twins did their homework. We would then make our way to the lunchroom and eat supper, then head back to my room where we would play and they would tell me about their day. I had them in bed by 9 every night, and their bedtime story would be of their dad, mostly tales of the Marauders which they had heard over and over. This was their favorite time of day though, as was it mine.
I often would sit in the dark after and play with my charm bracelet the Marauders and Severus had given me so long ago, or my wedding band, or Severus and my necklace. I never took any of these items off. I also never took my part of the Resurrection stone. Harry had finished his 7th year at Hogwarts and was currently running a home he had built for all the children and families who had lost everything in the war. I was so proud of him, though I wished he would run off and play Quidditch or something.
I thought he deserved to put the war completely behind him and live his life. Though I guess none of us could really do that. Though the Dark Mark on my arm was now gray and hardly noticeable, it was still there. I always worse a long sleeve black shirt under my black teaching robes because I always felt like people were looking at it and I could only see the betrayal in everyone I loved eyes. I saw that every time I closed my eyes, or I saw Remus, Chris and Sherry laying dead in the Great Hall. These were images I could not get rid of. Every Wednesday, after I put the kids to bed, I would go to the bar and get wasted. I really missed my Wednesday teas with Professor McGonagall. The kids now called her grandma and they loved her dearly, and she them. They would always tell me of their trips to England with Harry, and Harry would always bring me pictures back. My whole room was covered in pictures from my time at Hogwarts, the war, and the kids time with their family in England. Severus also enjoyed time with them and they adored their Uncle Sev. I was thankful they never took out their anger at me on the kids.
It was mid November and I awoke to a odd feeling in my stomach, it took me a moment to realize it was panic. I had once again dreamed of the war and Remus laying dead on the floor, and brushed this panic off as that. I went and woke my kids and dressed them for school. Silky would be the one to take them, as I was supposed to be at Breakfast. I made my way to the lunchroom and the panic in me seemed to get worse with every step. I pulled my wand out, ready for the worst. When I walked in, everything was as normal. The Headmaster looked at me oddly but did not comment on my wand being out. I made my way to my seat, but I did not eat. The panic was at a all time high and I couldn't understand it. A year and a half after the war and I was sitting at the table, in America, during breakfast, ready to kill anyone who walked through that door. After a while, my nerves got the best of me and I stood up and prepared to leave to my first class early. As I was walking across the lunchroom, the door opened and I held my wand up and got in my fighting stance. Everyone was watching me, most looking at me like I was crazy. What stepped through that door made my mouth drop open in shock. There in front of me stood Professor McGonagall. She eyed me for a moment, I didn't move.
"Mrs. Lupin, if you could please lower your wand, I'd like to speak with you." Professor McGonagall said in her usual stern voice.
I was at a loss of what to say or do. I didn't move. Why was she here? What could she possibly want with me? This couldn't be real? Had I finally lost my mind?
"Did you hear me Mrs. Lupin?"
I growled and shoved my wand to her throat, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"I am Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Head of Gryffindor and Transfiguration Professor. I would like to speak to you Amy Lupin."
"Professor McGonagall and I parted our ways, if you're her, what was the first thing I ever came to you for help with?" I growled out, anger and pain feeling my body.
"Professor Lupin! You can not treat guest to our school in such a way!" Charlie said, rushing over to us.
"ANSWER ME!" I demanded, not moving.
Professor McGonagall looked me dead in the eye, I could feel her pain. "You need to know what being in love was and why you suddenly felt that way towards someone."
I lowered my wand at that and looked her over, still not believing it was her, though the only other person who knew that information was dead, and that was Chris. I held my wand back up. "The first Christmas I knew you, I had three necklaces made, what were they and who were they for?"
"Two were a charm with 831 written on one side and Always written on the other one was for you, the other was for Severus. The 3rd was a cat and you gave it to me." She said, pulling out the necklace.
I dropped my wand and looked at her in shock. She eyed me for a moment and bent over and picked up my wand. "Professor McGonagall?" I whispered.
"Clearly I am who I say I am. Now, as I said, I would like to talk to you Amy Lupin. Do you mind?" Professor McGonagall repeated sternly.
"If you're hear to ask me to attend the ceremony in May, I've already told Albus no and I mean no. If not, I have a class to attend, you may sit through my classes as long as you do not interrupt and we may talk during lunch." I said, taking my wand and gaining my composure.
Professor McGonagall nodded and followed me to my classroom. When the student piled in, Professor McGonagall took a seat at my desk and watched as I gave out the days instructions. I then conjured another chair and sat down myself and started grading Severus's potion essays he had assigned. Professor McGonagall looked at me oddly.
"No I do not speak to him. I haven't spoken to him since the last time we saw each other. I do however, still read the Daily Prophet and know he's under a lot of stress with their lies so I have Silky get whatever he is unable to finish and I do it for him." I said and she nodded.
We did not speak again until lunch time. As we were walking to the lunchroom she said, "I see it is like Harry told me, you are harder on the students then Severus is."
"Im not the same woman I once was." I stated, the pain inside becoming almost umbearable.
"So I see. I've come to ask you a favor." Professor McGonagall stated.
"You already know I'll do anything but go back to England for you. What do you need?"
"I need to have our tea time. It is Wednesday after all."
I stopped, halfway to the teachers table and faced her. "It has been over a year and I have not heard from you until now. Why the sudden change?"
"Well for one, Harry nor Albus would tell me where you are. It took me well over 6 months just to get your location. Secondly, I needed time. You hurt me deeply Amy. I know you did what you had to do, but it did not stop the pain."
"Well, it seems we are in the same boat." I muttered, still feeling the pain and rejection from so long ago.
"If you do not wish to continue our tea time, just say so and I will leave." Professor McGonagall stated firmly and the pain in her eyes was ripping what little was left of my heart.
"Of course I wish to continue them." I whispered, looking her in the eyes. She then gave me one of her rare smiles and pulled me into a hug, which I returned after a moments hesitation.
"I've missed you Amy."
"I've missed you. I love you grandma." I said, holding her tightly to me.
"I love you child." Professor McGonagall said.
We pulled apart after a moment and we noticed the whole school was watching us. Both of us snapped, "What are you looking at, back to your lunch!"
This caused us to look at each other and me to shake my head. "Now the students know where I get it from."