Elle
5:24 pm. 5:25 pm. 5:26 pm.
The minutes seem to pass as slowly as ever as I wait for a message from Harry. We had kept up with our questions game this week, each of us asking a question in turns. But even though we had texted every day, I just wish we could have seen each other at least once.
Instead, It feels like I blinked and the whole week was gone, Sunday now looming over me, like the grey skies on a rainy day.
Nervously my fingers tap the screen of my phone, patiently waiting for an answer to the question I had sent him today. I pick it up, unlocking the screen, rereading what I had sent almost two hours ago.
If you could spend today however you
wanted to, what would you do?
The clock strikes 5:30 pm and I find myself staring at the screen as if a message would just magically appear. Hastily I type things out, only to delete them right after.
Maybe I should just text him, again. But— No.
I sigh dropping my phone into my lap, my eyes now focused on the TV running in the background.
Why couldn't he just answer me?
"Who are you texting with?" Finneas questions, sitting down next to me.
My head snaps up, as I suddenly feel my phone getting pulled out of my lap.
"Finn!" I yell out, jumping up to try and snatch my phone out of his hands.
"Give it back! Give— me–"
He just laughs, holding me off with his free hand. Excitedly, he continues to scroll his way through my unlocked phone and the messages I had exchanged with Harry.
"Harry, Harry, Harry," he mumbles, shaking his head and grinning like an idiot.
"What?" I exclaim, still trying to get my phone back from him, "has he answered?"
He lets go of me, placing my phone in my hand and I sit back down next to him. I look at my phone but there wasn't a new message.
"He didn't answer, I was just reading through a few of those cheeky messages," Finn exclaims, with a grin still stuck on his face.
"Have you ever heard of this silly little concept called 'privacy'?" I question, shooting him an angry look.
"I'm your brother, there's no such thing as privacy," he retorts half laughing, "especially not when it comes to you dating someone."
I huff in annoyance.
"But I can tell that Harry is a good guy. He makes you happy and I can see that. So, you have my approval."
His smile fades in a split second, a painful expression now laying on his face. "After everything, a guy like Harry is exactly what you need, Cherry. It's what you deserve," he whispers and I can tell by the pain in his voice, that he was thinking back to the conversation we shared earlier this week.
It wasn't an easy one, but I know I needed to tell Finneas about everything that went down between Ben and me. I needed to speak it out loud to believe it. To move on from it. And it felt good, that he finally knew. But I could tell that there was a part of him that was blaming himself for not interfering before something could have happened. For not interfering before the past would be repeating itself.
But none of it was his fault. It was purely mine, stupid enough to keep on finding myself in the same pattern.
I breathe in deeply, whispering a quick 'thank you'.
"Just make sure you're ready before you fully jump into something, Elle. I'm sure Harry would understand if you needed a bit of time after everything you've been through."
I nod quickly, knowing that he has already assured me the same thing. But I can't help but feel a little stab in my chest, knowing that Harry doesn't even know the full extent of everything that happened in my life before I even knew Ben.
"I know, Finn," I remark to what he said earlier, "I will. And I don't even think we're dating, I mean it's all a little confusing but we're just—"
"Friends?" he interrupts me, placing his feet on the couch table. "Oh, I'm sure you are!"
I nudge my elbow into his ribs, making him chuckle. "Why don't you worry about your own dating life, Finn?"
"Oh, so you are dating," he remarks, looking at me with raised eyebrows and a grin stuck to his face.
"I hate you," I say jokingly, grabbing a pillow and swiftly throwing it in his face.
Without batting an eye, he catches the pillow and laughs. "You love me."
"What are you two bickering about?" Drew enters the room, opening up a beer for him and Finn.
He hands the recently opened bottle to Finneas before he sits down next to him.
"Just Elle's love life," Finn specifies before he takes the first sip of his beer.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Drew shooting me a strange look, but I stay quiet. I probably should have dropped it already, but for some reason, I'm still kind of mad at him.
"Wait," Finn's voice echoes through the room, my head shooting towards him to see his eyes hastily wandering between me and Drew, "what are you two still bickering about?"
A huff escapes my lips, as I pick my phone back up, trying to keep myself busy.
"Nothing," I could hear Drew reply in the background, to which Finn just shoots me another questionable look. I can't help but wonder if Drew hasn't even told him. But to be fair I didn't either. So, there's that.
I roll my eyes, as Finn starts laughing at our reactions. Then my mind goes blank.
My eyes are focused on the now lit-up screen of my phone, a message showing up on the lock screen. Quickly, I reach for it, turning my upper body away from Finn, so he couldn't interfere again.
Harry
If you could spend today however you
wanted to, what would you do?
Well, I can't tell you what
I would do today.
But I can tell you what I
would do tonight.
Depending on what you are doing.
So, are you at home tonight,
Cherry blossom?
My heart starts speeding up, as I stare at his messages trying to decipher what he means. I type in a quick 'Yes' and press send, but I don't have time to process it, as my phone starts ringing, Harry's name lighting up the whole display.
Quickly I get up and answer the call.
"Hi, Harry!" I exclaim, noticing Finn's smirk that only grew bigger the longer I stared at him.
"30 minutes," is all he says, my brows furrowing as I walk into the kitchen, away from the two of them.
"What?"
"You have 30 minutes," Harry repeats and I could practically hear the smile through the phone.
I laugh amused. "Well, what is that supposed to mean?"
"Just get ready and make sure you wear something pretty. But not too casual. Okay, little flower?"
A huff escapes my lips. "Harry Styles."
"Hmh?"
"Are you asking me out?" I smile to myself, hearing Harry's laugh echo through the line.
"Cherelle Townes," he chimes. The way he emphasises my name, only makes me grin even harder. "I'll see you in precisely 28 minutes."
"Harry!" I laugh, wondering what was going on in that silly little brain of his, but before I can say anything more, he hangs up.
"Shit," I whisper, trying to figure out what I would wear and how I would get ready in just under 30 minutes.
Quickly I run into the bathroom and put on some makeup, as well as try and get my hair to look less messy. I walk to the closet, going through the options I had. I hesitantly pull out a mid-length white dress. It's elegant yet exciting enough, a slit opening up the dress on the side and combined with my nude mid-heeled sandals it was the perfect match.
My mouth is full of toothpaste when my thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell echoing through the apartment, followed up by Blue howling and seemingly running straight to the door.
Fuck.
"I got it!" Finn yells out, making me hurry even more, not wanting to leave him and Harry alone for too long.
"Hey, Harry, why don't you come in?" Finn's voice echoes through the hallway.
I stick my head out the bathroom door, toothbrush still in my mouth. Harry catches a glance at me, his mouth crinkling into a smile, chuckling at my appearance before I turn back around.
Spitting out the toothpaste, I lastly put on some classic red lipstick, to top off the look.
"Yeah, I think Elle's just getting herself kiss-ready for you, she'll be here in a—" I hear part of their conversation, instantly leaving the bathroom to cut him off.
"Finn!" I yell out, shooting him a warning look to which he just shakes his head laughing.
Oh, I'm going to kill him when I get back home.
I come to a halt next to the two of them, a smile lighting up on my face, seeing Harry's attire for tonight. It was unbelievable how effortlessly pretty a person could be. He tried to get his curls under control, yet a single one was still hanging loosely in his face. The tattoos on his arms are contrasted so beautifully by the light-yellow vintage polo he was wearing, a few buttons at the top still undone. It's neatly tucked into a pair of brown corduroy flare pants, similar to a pair of my own, I once wore to Harry's supposedly 'small' get-together which turned out to be his album release party.
"Hi," he mumbles a smile still stuck to his lips, as his eyes wander down my body, "Uhm— Here I got you these."
My innocent smile turns into a grin, as soon as I see him pulling out a bouquet of sunflowers, from behind his back.
His question for me on Thursday.
What my favourite flowers are.
"Thought you might want to place them in a vase before we leave."
"Oh, Harry you didn't need to buy me flowers," Finn says with a raised voice, making me shoot him another warning look before my elbow finds its way to nudge his ribs.
"Could you just—" I press out, trying to form words towards Finn who was really starting to get on my nerves, "—like just leave! Please!"
Harry just laughs amused shaking his head, as I reach for the flowers, mumbling a quick 'thank you' before I turn around to find a vase for them.
"So, where are you two going today? And when will she be back?" I roll my eyes at Finn's questions, wondering when he will stop playing the overprotective brother.
"Yeah, where are you two going?" Drew suddenly appears next to Finn, slowly sipping on his beer as he waits for an answer.
What was wrong with these two, today?
I hurry with the flowers, quickly walking back over, only to hear their voices coming to a complete halt. My eyes wander between the three, as they tried their best to place an innocent smile on their lips.
"Should I worry about what you guys talked about, or—"
Drew just chuckles, walking away and shaking his head, while I am left wondering what was so funny about my question.
"Just making sure, he brings you home no later than 10," Finn remarks sarcastically a grin stuck to his lips, to which I just roll my eyes again.
He turns around as well, strolling back towards the living room in slow steps before he yells out the last part, "Now, have fun you two!"
My brows furrow, as I shake my head laughing, my eyes coming to rest on Harry's.
"I'm sorry," I mumble awkwardly, "he's not always like that."
"It's okay," he remarks, a laugh escaping his lips as he steps forward, slowly closing the distance between us, "I can tell that he really cares for you and I appreciate that."
His hand reaches out for mine, gently lifting it, as a smile spreads on his lips, "Should we?"
I nod, turning around to give Blue, who was excitedly wiggling his tail next to Harry, another pet, a weeping sound escaping his snout.
"I won't be gone for too long. Promise," I whisper towards him, gaining a reaffirming bark, before I turn around, the corner of Harry's lips turning slightly upwards as I do so.
I close the door behind us and we walk down the stairs in silence, the cool nighttime air greeting me as we step outside. We stop next to the door of the familiar black range rover, Harry letting me slip inside before he closes the door and walks around the car to do the same.
"So, where are you taking me, Harry?" I question, my head shooting over to look at him as he pulls off the apartment lot.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, they lock with mine.
"It's a surprise," he retorts, his eyes now focusing back on the road.
The car ride goes by quicker than I thought, the two of us keeping conversation, as I mostly excuse myself for my brother's and Drew's awkward behaviour earlier while trying to find out what the three of them had said to Harry when I was caring for the bouquet, he so thoughtfully gifted to me.
But Harry continues to play it off as if nothing important was said. I know there has to be something the three of them talked about, that wasn't meant for my ears. And god help me, I will find it out somehow.
When the car stops I look around, trying to find out where we are. I turn to open the door, but Harry answers with a firm 'wait please', quickly getting out of the car to walk around and open it for me.
I mumble a quick thank you, as he takes my hand, gently helping with my dress. The light is dim, with only a few streetlamps lighting up the parking grounds.
A smirk is laying on his lips, his eyes slowly wandering up and down my body.
"What?" I whisper, my eyebrows furrowing as I look down at myself, "Is it too much? Should I have dressed more casually?"
"No!" Harry remarks with a laugh, reaching for my hand to pull me closer to him, his voice now turning into a gentle whisper, "It's perfect. You are perfect."
He breathes in, his eyes skimming over my body once more, "I mean, you look stunning in that dress, little flower."
"Thank you," I mumble, heat creeping up my cheeks at his sudden compliment. "You don't look so bad yourself, Angelboy."
He laughs, blushing up slightly but keeping his composure.
"So—" he mumbles, his feet slowly coming closer, my body now pressed tightly against the car as I take a step back, "do you remember when I told you that I would make it very clear to you that this is a date if I ever take you out on one?"
I clear my throat in an attempt to speak up, nothing but a raspy 'yes' stumbling from my lips. He comes to halt mere centimetres away from my face, his arms resting beside me, casually leaning against the car. I can feel his breath on my lips, my heart immediately speeding up at the proximity.
"Well," he whispers leaning in even closer, sneakily placing one, then a few kisses along my neckline, making me breathe out harshly before he pulls back, our eyes locking, "This is my way of making it clear that this is a date, I'm taking you on."
His voice is slightly deeper than usual, reaching something inside of me, I haven't felt before.
I watch as his lips come closer again, teasing me for a kiss as they hover above mine. Time loses its meaning, as he gently brushes over them, the soft and sweet contact making my heart race. Not a single muscle moves, my lungs unable to control a steady flow of air. His hand reaches out for my neck, making me lose the last bit of control, my insides begging for him to give me another taste of his lips.
But his lips continue to hover so close above mine, so near yet so far, as he leads up to the kiss but doesn't give me quite of what I am craving.
Instead, he savours every single bit of the undeniable tension and excruciating desire, all of which seems to come together so beautifully, in the very moment before lips collide.
One last time his top lip streaks above mine before he pulls back, his eyes fiercely locking with mine. A sudden rush of air leaves my mouth, my mind in need of a second to catch up and understand what had just happened.
Good god.
"Understood?" he whispers.
For a second I have to think back to what he even wanted me to understood, as I am left speechless by the tension, my lungs screaming for air. I force out a nod, a spark lighting up in his eyes, as he takes a few steps back. Still startled from the moment we had just shared, I close my eyes, shaking my head to try and get back on track.
"You're such a tease, Harry," I mumble, just loud enough for him to hear.
My voice doesn't sound particularly unfazed, still slightly trembling from the 'almost' kiss we had shared. His hand gets a grip of mine, slowly pulling me in the direction we're meaning to go.
"Can't help it. Not if you react the way you just did," he remarks with a smile, the heat spreading through my body as we start strolling across the parking lot, "and I don't really give out kisses at the start of a date. You'll have to earn it if you'd like one."
I laugh. "Oh, do I now?"
"Well, don't want to make you used to getting them so easily. I'd like to keep them special."
His hand gives mine a barely noticeable squeeze as my eyes lock with his. "Kisses I share with you will always be special to me, Angelboy."
His face lights up at my words, his arm now gliding to my back pulling me closer to him as he presses a quick kiss to my forehead while waking.
"I'm glad we see eye to eye on that, little flower."
We make our way towards the street, turning around the corner, to see a restaurant coming into view. Once we enter, the staff leads us to a table in the back of the restaurant, secluded from the others for more privacy. Harry pulls out my chair, motioning for me to sit down as I whisper a quick 'thank you'.
I pick up the menu, opening it up only to realize where he had brought me.
"Italian?" I chuckle.
"You said it's your favourite," he mumbles shyly, his cheeks blushing, "So, I did some research and picked out the best Italian restaurant in town."
A smile spreads on my lips at his gesture, remembering back to when I had left his house the morning after our first kiss and he asked me this question. But slowly my smile fades, as I let my eyes skim over the menu, realizing that there was not one single thing on the menu that I could afford.
Harry's hand whips up, motioning for the waiter to come over. He orders a bottle of wine, one of which I knew would probably cut my savings in half.
"So, what have you been up to this week?" Harry questions, as soon as the waiter takes off.
"I spent most of my week either in the studio or in meetings, to be honest. But we were quite productive." I laugh knowingly, considering I didn't only write one, but two songs this week. One of which was actually about Harry. They were almost finished, with only a few more things left to work on next week. "I mean, we got a lot done and we also decided the release date for my first single and album."
"Elle, that's great!" Harry says excitedly, a smile on his face as he reaches out for my hand across the table. "So, when will it release?"
"My album will be out on the first of July. And my first song 'July' will be out on the first of June, so next Thursday. Danny, my manager also lined up an interview for me, so you will be able to see me on the Ellen Show!"
"Wow," the smile turns into a proud grin as he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, "this is great, Elle. Really! I'm so proud of what you're doing and I think you will do just great."
"Thank you, Harry," I mumble shyly, not used to the amount of support I received from him, "really. It means a lot."
"You deserve it, Cherry," he remarks before the waiter comes back with a bottle of red, pouring both of us a glass.
We cheer to the occasion, talking a little bit more about my plans for the album and Harry's upcoming plans for a tour. It sounded amazing, but also makes me think about how much time we would have to spend away from each other.
"Let me guess," Harry suddenly mumbles, as we start deciding on our dinner, "you're having Lasagna, right?"
I let my card fall on the table, a chuckle leaving my lips. "Is it that obvious?"
"Well," he remarks, topping up our glasses, "it kind of is."
I take a sip of wine, trying to come up with something I had wanted to ask him. And sure enough after the waiter leaves with our orders, one thing comes straight to my mind.
"Did you always want to go into music as a career choice?" I question, knowing he had asked me a similar question.
"Yes, I did, actually. But I never expected to get that far just from auditioning for the X-Factor. You know it's kind of crazy. And it was a crazy journey. I was so young back then, still trying to figure out who I was and suddenly we were sent off to travel around the world and produce albums while doing so. It was a lot, so I was glad to be able to take a step back before I came out with my debut album."
"It must have been hard," I mumble, trying to comprehend it all. "Going from touring, being on stage almost every night, to leaving the band and kind of getting back a normal life."
His smile fades, a painful expression showing up on his face as he breathes in harshly.
"I'm sorry if that was too much, we can change th—"
"No," he says quickly, taking another sip of wine, "it's fine really. It was a tough time though. I kind of lost myself for a while. Had to figure out who I was without them. And I had no idea what would await me at that time. But I'm fine now."
My hand is now reaching out for his, his fingers instantly finding their way between mine.
"It's kind of crazy for me to hear all this... Because for me you're such a bright light, and I can't even imagine that you didn't always shine as bright as you are doing right now."
A smile tugs on his lips, his thumb gently streaking across my hand.
"That might be one of the most beautiful compliments I ever received, little flower," he whispers and I swear I could see a blush of pink sweeping across his cheeks.
"I don't plan on going back to times like these," he mumbles, his brows now furrowing, "but I think now that I have you back in my life, the light will stay up for a little while."
A smile tugs on my lips at his sudden compliment.
"I hope so," I mumble shyly, receiving a confident smile from Harry.
"So," he suddenly remarks, hinting at changing the subject, "your parents must be insanely proud of you. You know, with the upcoming release of your album and all. How did they react when you told them you made it over here? After what you told me about your dad, I know he must be so proud of you."
It feels like the air is getting sucked out of my lungs, as soon as I hear the words stumbling from his lips. I pull my hand away from Harry's taking a quick sip of wine trying to hide my flustered state, but nothing goes unnoticed by Harry.
His brows furrow, a crease building between them. "Did I say something wrong?"
My heart starts beating faster as I look for words. He has been so open with me, telling me about his struggles, without even batting an eyelash. Yet, I can't even bring myself to tell him a little bit about my past.
"No," I quickly answer his question, "it's just—"
I breathe in harshly, noticing Harry's worried look.
"Family isn't—" A sigh escapes my lips. "It's not really my favourite topic to talk about, you know?"
He nods, his brows still furrowed, an understanding look spreading on his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cross a li—"
"No, it's fine," I interrupt him, shaking my head, "I mean it's a topic that eventually comes up. It's just— I never really lucked out on the family department. To me, Finneas is my only family; the only family I need. The rest is either dead—" my brows furrow as I swallow harshly, a painful feeling spreading through my stomach, "— or dead to me."
Harry stares at me with empty eyes, his mouth sitting slightly open. Even though I didn't elaborate any further, it feels like I already scared him off. I know the look on his face too well, having earned it quite a few times.
This is why I don't open up. I should have just kept quiet.
I take a quick sip of wine and clear my throat before I speak up again, "You know what, forget I ever said this. I'm so sorry. That was kind of depressing, and not really dinner conversation, I'm so s—" I ramble on only to be interrupted by Harry.
"Don't excuse yourself, Elle," he whispers reaching out for my hand, "I'm sorry that I didn't say something straight away, I think I was just a little shocked to hear this, to be honest."
"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't scare you away with that, I—" A sigh escapes my lips, as I laugh nervously. "See? This is why I usually avoid this topic."
I reach for my glass of wine, trying to take the awkwardness out of the situation with a little bit of liquid courage.
"Scare me away?" Harry mumbles confused, his eyes resting on me. "It would take a lot more to scare me away, other than a few family issues, Elle. And I hope you know that if you'd like to talk about it, I'll listen."
He sighs, his hand gliding through his hair before he continues.
"I want to get to know you, Elle. I want to know what made you, you. And this seems like the first time you opened up a little bit to me. I don't mean it in a bad way, I mean if you need time to do so then I'm more than willing to wait. But right now it feels like I have to spread you open to get to know you. And I just feel like that might be because you're worried about scaring me away." He chuckles nervously, his hands gently enclosing mine in his. "So this is me telling you, that as long as you'll have me, I won't go anywhere."
My heart skips a beat as I take in his words. Words that I needed to hear so desperately. He's right, I'm worried about scaring him away. I just need to finally accept that Harry is not like anyone I've ever known. He won't just walk away when I need him. He's only ever been here for me, without asking questions. He doesn't push me to get an answer, he waits for me to be ready.
"I'm really sorry for this, Harry. I'm trying to open up, it's just— it's kind of scary you know. I haven't talked about most of these topics with a lot of people. And I'm just scared that you'll leave once you realise how messed up, I really am."
"Aren't we all a little bit messed up?" He chuckles, an understanding look on his face.
Not the kind of Meredith- dark and twisty- that I am, though.
Harry's confused laugh suddenly echoes through my mind, making me look up.
"Excuse me, what did you just say?" he chuckles, making me realise that I must have accidentally said this out loud.
"I'm sorry, I—" I shake my head at the stupidity, my mouth opening and closing as I try to explain what I meant. "Do you know Grey's Anatomy? It's kind of my comfort show."
He nods. "I do."
"Well, Meredith Grey—the main character on the show—always refers to herself as dark and twisty. So, I kind of took that over, because— Well, I'm the same," I try to explain to him, pausing for a second as the waiter places the food in front of us.
"I don't think you're dark and twisty," Harry remarks, his eyebrows raised, "I actually think you're quite the opposite. You have this bright golden light radiating off you and you're very optimistic."
I laugh, picking up my fork to try the Lasagna.
"You really think so?" I mumble under my breath.
"I do think so, yeah," he says with a smile, taking a sip of wine.
"Well," I state, trying to down my food to continue to speak, "Once I open up and show you my dark and twisty side, you're going to think otherwise and will want to make a run for it."
"Okay," he remarks, quickly, "I love a good challenge, because I can already tell you that if you do open up I will most definitely not make a run for it and adore you even more. Even your dark and twisty side. And if I do make a run for it, you can hit me as hard as you like."
"Alright," I say chuckling, placing my wineglass down on the table, my hand reaching out for a handshake, "do we have ourselves a deal?"
He chuckles, shaking my hand. "Deal."
We continue eating and silence sets it, laying above us like a veil of mist over a field in the morning.
"How did you like it?" Harry asks me, making my head snap up, as I got lost in thoughts for a second.
"It was great. Yours too?"
"It was," he says a bright grin on his lips and I can't help but wonder what was going on in this mind of his.
His head glances up, as the waiter comes to a halt next to us, once more. Harry quickly asks for the bill, my eyes shooting over to meet his.
"Do you want to leave already?" I say confused, unable to hide my disappointment.
A chuckle leaves his lips, but he doesn't answer as the waiter appears again. I reach for the bill wanting to pay my part of it—or at least try to pay anything at all—but Harry takes hold of my hand, placing it down on the table.
"It's okay. I got it."
Carefully my eyes trace his movements, trying to figure out if I had done something wrong, and that was why he wanted to leave. He gets up, his hand reaching for mine, to give me a hand.
"Is there something wrong or why do you want to leave so sudden? Did I do something wrong?"
For a second a flustered look spreads on his face, but then he breaks out in a laugh, his hand finding its way to my cheek, leaving soft strokes behind.
"You didn't really think that I would just drop you home, now, did you?"
I struggle to get out words, not understanding what he means.
"Uhm—"
"The date is not over yet," he whispers with a smile. "You're on a date with me, Elle. I generally have a lot more planned, other than just going out for dinner."
"Oh," I whisper, as he closes the distance, his right arm finding its way around my hip.
My skin is instantly electrified by the strokes he leaves behind. I watch as his lips slowly come closer, his breath brushing my lips as he speaks.
"Or did you have any other plans and would like for me to bring you home?"
His lips linger so close to mine, seemingly causing havoc in my mind as all I seem to do is stare right at them. The more he seems to say, the less I know, unable to form any thoughts or words at all.
"Even if I did have other plans," I whisper, thoughts slowly translating into words, "I think I'd want for you to wreck them all."
I let out a harsh breath as he pulls back from me, a cheeky grin slowly spreading on his lips. His hand reaches for mine, gently tugging in the direction of the exit.
"Come on then," he mumbles, taking back a few steps while slowly pulling me behind him, "Let me wreck them all, just so you'll stay with me instead."
I grab my stuff off the table, a nervous smile on my lips as I follow Harry. He comes to a sudden halt just before we reach the door, his hands still keeping me behind him.
"For fucks sake," he whisper-yells, making me wonder what's going on, "I'm so sorry for this, Elle."
"What's the problem?" I question, as Harry turns around to face me, his eyes nervously flying through the room.
"I have no idea, how they found out, Elle. I'm sorry, I—" he mutters under his breath, as I take a quick peek beside his body and through the small dark-tinted windows. I notice a few camera's positioned right at the door, seemingly waiting for us to come outside.
"Harry, it's fine," I quickly remark, trying to loosen up the situation. "We really can't change it now, can we?"
"You're right, but this wasn't how it was supposed to go," he mumbles, his arm firmly landing on my back. "Just stay close to me, and try to hide your face, okay?"
I nod quickly, before he turns around, his one arm reaching back to make sure I was still there. We open the door and are immediately surrounded by a group of people, the flashes making my head feel dizzy.
"Harry! Harry, come on, look over here!"
"Harry, who's the girl?"
"Is this your new girlfriend, Harry?"
I hold my head down, trying to get out of this situation without them seeing my face. Harry's hand is still holding on tightly, as he bans our way through the crowd.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry, can we just—" he mumbles, trying to push aside various people and I can only admire him even more, unable to understand how he could stay this kind to complete strangers that were trying to make his life living hell.
They keep on shouting the same things trying to get our attention as we pass through. It's then that I feel a hand clutching onto my hips, pulling me backwards, my feet almost losing the ground below.
My heart stops for a second, a gasp escaping my lips, as pictures flash up inside my mind.
"Let go of me!" I yell out, my hand now trying to get rid of the strangers'.
Harry immediately stops in his tracks, an angry look on his face as soon as he notices the anxiety written over my face. His body instantly moves between me and the guy who was holding onto me, pushing him backwards and away from me.
"Touch her again and you'll regret it," is all he mutters under his breath, gently but quickly pushing me out of the group of people around us.
In quick steps we walk to the car, pacing the last few metres and driving off the second we're seated. I try to calm back down, but the adrenaline still running through my veins makes this a lot harder.
"Are you okay?" Harry questions, his quiet voice echoing through the car. "He really shouldn't have touched you."
"I'm fine, it's no big deal—"
"Please don't say that Elle. This wasn't okay at all," he remarks, his voice growing quiet, mumbling the rest under his breath, "-the fucking prick."
My eyes are resting on Harry's, who is still visibly shaken by what had happened. Anger shows in his eyes, as he takes them off the road for a second to look over at me.
"Fuck," he whisper-yells, his hand gliding through his hair, a nervous habit I picked up on.
"What are you thinking, Harry?" I ask carefully.
His head is shaking, his eyes coming to a rest on mine once he stops. "I fucking messed up, Elle," he whispers my brain still not keeping up with what he's saying.
"What do you mean?"
"I have no idea how they knew where I was, Elle. I thought I was careful. Someone must have tipped them off," he mutters under his breath, slowly realizing what happened. "This is going to be such a mess, I'm so fucking sorry, Elle."
"I-I don't understand," I mumble, my brows furrowing, "this is not a big deal, Harry. I mean we already had a situation like that."
"Yeah, but this— is different," his eyes are strictly focused on the road, his voice growing cold, "last time we were able to hide your face. And you haven't been signed under a label, yet. But this time they might have gotten some clear pictures. And with your music releasing soon, I'm sure they're going to know your name by the morning. And then your name will be tied to mine. Great. Fucking Great. These pictures are going to be fucking plastered all over the media."
A scoff escapes his lips. "What a way to end the evening."
My heart sinks into my stomach as I take in his words. I haven't heard Harry swearing like this ever since I first met him. But one thing won't leave my mind, my heart breaking a little at the thought.
"Is it really this awful for you, to have my name publicly connected to yours, Harry?" I whisper, my voice echoing through the silent car.
"What—" Harry's head turns towards me a shocked look on his face as he sees my sad expression, "God, Elle no! Of course not, it's not what I meant at all—"
I breathe in relief as Harry continues to push out words, "It's just—I really wanted to keep this little bubble for a while longer, especially with you wanting to take things slow. And I feel like I just fucked this up for you. For us. Once they get any evidence of me dating someone they just run with it and it makes me even more worried, knowing you're just about to release your music and—" he breathes in deeply, his brows furrowing, "and I really wanted for you to do this on your own. Without my name tied to yours. I'm so fucking sorry if I ruined this for you, I promise I didn't want this, I—"
"Harry," I quickly mumble trying to interrupt him, but his excuses go on.
"I really am so sorry, I didn't wan—"
"Harry—Harry, stop!"
His eyes rest on mine for a second before they turn back to the road.
"Please don't excuse yourself for something that isn't your fault, Harry. It's okay. We're going to be okay. We can't change it now. I'm going to give my manager a ring tomorrow and tell him about this fiasco. Let's just see what happens the next days and we go from there, okay?"
A relieved look settles on his face, as he exhales audibly, "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sorry."
"Harry," I chuckle, shaking my head.
"Hmh?"
"You're doing it again." My hand reaches for his free hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, a chuckle escaping my lips. "Stop excusing yourself. Please!"
His eyes lock with mine, a genuine smile now visible on his face as he laughs.
"I'm sorry," he giggles, cutting himself off, "No! I'm not—You know what, I think it's best if I just stop talking."
I laugh at his attempt to stop excusing himself, his fingers spreading out, quickly intertwining themselves with mine.
"Harry?" I whisper his eyes shying off the road and over to me.
"Hmh?"
"When I asked you my question this afternoon, you didn't really give me an answer," I comment rather than state, as a laugh escapes his lips.
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
"I think you do," is all I say waiting for another reply.
His eyes hush over the street, spotting an empty spot, as the car swerves off to the side and comes to a halt. I wonder why we had stopped, but don't ask him. His upper body turns in my direction, his eyes resting on me.
"Elle," The way he looks at me, makes me smile, followed up by a chuckle on his side, his head tilting slightly downwards, focusing on his hands as he speaks.
"The way I'd preferably spend my days—all of them—as well as all my evenings, is..." He looks back up, his eyes locking with mine. "I'd like to spend them all with you, Elle."
A nervous huff escapes my lips, my face settling between a somewhat shocked, yet happy expression. "What do you mean, Harry?"
"I think you know what I mean," he mumbles, a glimpse of hope flashing up in his eyes.
He breathes in deeply, his hand reaching out for mine. "But maybe I can show you."
His hand slowly moves upwards, a heavy breath escaping my lips as it comes to a halt on my neck. Slowly, but steadily our heads move closer to each other. My heart speeds up rapidly, my mind turning blank as the intensity of not only wanting, but needing to feel Harry again, moves in on me. I come to a halt only centimetres away from his face, his lips gently streaking over mine.
"So—" I whisper breathing heavily, my eyes staring directly into his, "did I earn my kiss for tonight, then?"
An amused huff leaves his lips. "I would have kissed you either way."
We were so close yet so far. Our lips are only inches away from each other. But before I can finally feel the satisfaction of his lips on mine, a sudden ringing snaps us out of our trance.
"M'sorry," he sighs, his head shying back, so that he is able to pull up his phone. His eyes fixate on the messages, another few coming through as his brows furrow in an irritated way.
"What's wrong?" I question, wondering what could be important enough to disrupt a special moment like this. Especially considering that this wasn't the first time he had teased me tonight.
I try to see a glimpse of who might have texted him, but Harry had already locked the phone, throwing it in the cupholder with another sigh. He turns on the engine and pulls back onto the road, leaving me without an explanation, a nervous feeling now spreading through my limbs.
Why did his mood change all of the sudden?
"I uhm–" he stammers, his raspy voice echoing through the silence. "I'm sorry I think we might have to cut our time tonight a little shorter than expected."
"Oh," I mumble, trying my hardest not to let the disappointment show. My lying seems to do the trick as I put on my best 'everything's fine' voice, "It's okay, really. I don't mind,"
Silence falls between us and unable to keep my mind from wandering off, I find myself thinking of the strangest scenarios as to why he would suddenly change up our whole evening and drop me home early. But not only why.
My heart sinks into my chest as I think about the fact, that behind the message, there was someone who had written it. Who was the person, able to make him drop everything and anything?
Family? A friend? His manager because of the pictures? Or —
I close my eyes, trying my hardest to believe that the last possibility wasn't one Harry would go for. He's not like that. And I trust him. But the sick feeling won't leave my stomach.
Or another girl.
The thought wanders through my mind like a broken record, that keeps on replaying the same fucking line.
But no. He wouldn't do that to me. He assured me he wasn't dating anyone. I'm just overreacting. This must be about something else.
Once I had my thoughts sorted again, we pull up in front of the familiar apartment building. I try to keep my composure, my hand reaching for my bag as I turn to open the door.
"Wait," Harry says in a rush. My head snaps around to look at him, but he had already opened the door, walking around the car in quick steps.
"Thank you," I mumble as he opens the car door for me, helping me out with his free hand.
"I'll walk you upstairs. Don't like the idea of you walking by yourself at this time..."
I nod, as we stride across to the entrance of the building. A noticeable tension lies between us, and I know he feels it too. There was something he wasn't telling me. And I'm not quite sure how to feel about this.
I search for the key in my bag, as we come to halt in front of the familiar apartment. Harry's hand coming to rest on my back, has my eyes glancing up to meet his. A mysterious darkness surrounds the green, and I swear I could see a glimpse of regret flash up in between.
"I'm sorry for tonight, Elle," he mumbles, his eyes staring off into the distance. "I promise I will make it up to you. Okay?"
I nod, trying to hide my disappointment from him, but he seems to see right through me, his brows furrowing as he speaks up.
"Please don't think that any of this is your fault. It's not. But I can't t—" a scoff escapes his lips, his hand running through his hair.
"You can't tell me," I state in a monotone voice, finishing what he started. My heart sinks into my chest as the words hit.
He can't tell me. Or he doesn't want to tell me?
A sadness lies in his eyes, as he nods.
"It's okay," I whisper, faking a smile. "Just promise you'll make it up to me?"
"I will," he comments, a shimmer of hope now visible in between the green. "And I'll start right now."
He seems to buy my lie about me being fine with it, not elaborating any further. So, I continue holding my smile in place.
"How?" I whisper.
He steps closer, our bodies now only mere inches apart. "If I recall correctly, I think I still owe you a kiss, little flower."
I didn't think a voice could reach this deep. But the sudden rasp to it, has the air knocked straight from my lungs and my legs close to giving in. He moves in closer, a gasp escaping my lips as his hands clutch onto my hips, gently pushing me backwards until I'm pressed against the brick wall. And suddenly everything that plagued me—all the questions I had asked myself up until mere seconds ago—it's all forgotten.
I swallow hard. "Y-you do."
Hearing my stammering voice has a smile tugging on his lips. His body towers over mine, slowly but carefully leaning in. My breathing seems to stop as soon, as his lips so gently brush across mine, teasing me for what's to come. I had never realised how intense the moment before a kiss could be. But with Harry, it feels as though everything is heightened.
"I've waited this whole night, to do this," he whispers against my lips, taking an excruciating amount of time.
My hands find their way around his body, gently pulling him closer to show him that I wanted this. That I finally needed to feel his lips on mine, again.
I try to close the distance, but he pulls back slightly, a grin spreading on his face.
"Not so quick, little flower. Let me enjoy this."
A huff escapes my needy mouth, quickly turning into a moan as his lips brush over mine once more. As soon as the noise leaves my body, I feel another smile tugging on his lips, his upper body now colliding with mine as he tries to get another reaction from me.
He's such a tease.
"Kiss me, Harry," I say under my breath, his actions slowly driving me close to the edge. "Please. Just kiss me."
And then he does.
Before I can say anything else his lips crash onto mine, a silent moan escaping his mouth as our tongues collide. More passion was put into this kiss, his hands scouring my body in a hurry. His taste invites me into a different world; a world, I knew I could lose myself in. All my thoughts, wiped from my brain. My knees, too weak to hold myself up. The only thing that exists at this moment is the sheer need I felt to get the most out of this kiss.
The two of us are left without a breath, when he pulls back, a smile now hinting at the corners of his lips. He places a last gentle kiss on my lips before he fully steps back.
There had been so many things I wanted to ask him before he kissed me, but now it feels as though I can't gather one straight thought. Instead, I stay quiet, watching the smile spreading on his lips as he stares at me.
But all I really wanted to do was lean in again to feel the sweet serenity of his lips colliding with mine.
It was a fucking addiction. And I don't plan on finding out what withdrawal would feel like.
***
Hi, I'm sorry for a little later update than usual! It's been a busy week.
If you enjoyed this longer chapter,
be sure to leave a vote, since these are a lot more work❤️🩹
Also, there is a fair few hints and things in this chapter that will be setting up for a lot of stuff happening in the near future🤗 maybe you caught onto something? I'd love to hear your theory's in the comments!
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