Chapter 322
White Christmas
Christmas time came about quickly, as a raging storm of shopping, gift wrapping and parties.
Yet another year has past, and it wasn't about to slow down.
My Aoi was still in the hospital. How would we spend our Christmas this year?
Half-heartedly, I joined the shopping sprees and festive cheer, numbing myself with the holiday buzz.
Yet I knew that despite the Christmas lights and the reds or greens, the fire in my heart was snuffed out.
Christmas meant nothing to me.
And it would get worse.
Chapter 323
White Christmas
"Kanpai!"
There was the clink of glasses and rumbling of laughter.
Everyone was bubbling with genuine smiles as we sipped our drinks.
I laughed along with them and spent my Christmas thus, in such a way.
I tried hard not to think, not to feel,
not to know that the more I drown in the Christmas air,
the more my heart aches.
Every Christmas for years there was someone who was always there for me.
This year I tried not think that it was any different.
My drink was cold and burned the back of my throat.
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White Christmas
I must have zoned out because I felt a nudge to my right.
"You okay?" Airu asked me.
There was a smile on my face when I replied. "Yeah. Kanpai."
Our glasses tinkled together.
"I'm here for you Seiji."
Somehow those words of such simplicity struck me speechless.
Then she gave me a soft smile. A knowing smile.
"Thanks." I said.
"No problem."
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White Christmas
The night went on and on.
Soon the voices became a mumble as a warm hazy sleepiness settled in.
It was comfortable and made me forget about everything.
If only life could be suspended in such a state.
Then all would be well...
If only...
Chapter 326
White Christmas
~~~
There was a soft yellow-green glow of the hospital lights, hovering in the dark.
They looked like beady, hungry eyes.
I looked at them.
Were they moving?
They seemed to grow closer and closer.
No, don't come any closer!
I tried, but I couldn't move.
I tried to focus on them but they would get blurry every time I tried.
There was a shadow that passed by the lights.
It made things go dark.
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White Christmas
Everything got darker.
I heard someone breathing.
It smelled like smoke.
I felt a cold hand on my face.
It was icy cold.
Suddenly, the rush of cool air touched my cheeks.
I couldn't see.
I couldn't breathe.
Help me!
Seiji!
~~
Chapter 328
White Christmas
I awoke with a start.
A yellowish haze washed over me;
floating orbs of light wavering in the air.
I tried to sit upright but my head swarm;
my limbs as if they were asleep.
In a daze, I made out the forms of slumbering teens in the room.
I could scarcely remember how the party drifted off into a sleepover.
Something had waken me but I could be sure of what it was.
Did I have a dream?
In silence I stood and stumbled to the door.
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White Christmas
The door creaked open and a gust of cool air greeted me.
I shivered and shrugged into my jacket.
Outside, the night was deep, everywhere painted with shadows;
blurry glowing lights floated on a canvas of black.
A cool breeze danced around me, filling my nose with crisp, sharp air.
A lonely car flitted by quickly like a ghost.
Tonight, the streets were quiet;
people sought refuge inside the warmth of their homes,
beneath christmas trees and bright colourful lights.
I found the train station easily and headed underground,
descending into a brightly lit interior.
White walls, white flooring, white everything.
A white Christmas perhaps.
Chapter 330
White Christmas
Train stations were always busy.
There were still business men in suits hurrying home;
high school girls carrying shopping bags laughing and flirting;
old men attending to station shops.
In a station you can always find people of all kinds, minding their own business.
Always the same faces, the same routines.
Even on Christmas, train stations never changed.
It was Christmas Eve wasn't it?
For a moment I lost myself in this unchanging world.
It was as if life was normal again.
This norm I used to have.
Nothing ever changes.
Every day the same.
Everything safe.
And sound.
Until...
I started walking once again; I had to spend the rest of the night with Aoi.
We always spent Christmas together.
She was waiting for me, I knew.
Chapter 331
White Christmas
Before long I found myself wandering down the halls of the hospital.
Here nothing ever changes.
The train station. The hospital. They never change.
There was a sense of comfort in this though.
Nothing is unpredictable, nothing out of the ordinary.
Just the same old, same old.
I felt like an intruder on this neverchanging peace.
My dirty feet stained the white floors and the white walls.
Like muddy footsteps.
Chapter 332
White Christmas
My life was once part of this unchanging peace.
An unchanging sequence.
Go to school. Come home. Eat. Sleep.
Enjoy my time with Aoi.
Life was so much simpler thus.
I was comfortable.
But why had it changed?
I didn't want it to change!
Chapter 333
White Christmas
When I approached room 226 I noticed that the door was ajar.
A soft yellow-green light filtered through the crack;
like a river of tears it bled into the shadows.
How odd...
I saw something move inside,
a shadow that caused the light to flicker.
Aoi!
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White Christmas
I must have shouted
because the next instant a dark figure tore from the room,
shoving the door violently open.
"Hey! Stop!" I ran after him.
But there was a piercing sound coming from the machines inside Aoi's room.
"Save me Seiji!" It cried.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and rushed inside the room.
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White Christmas
The machine was wailing.
I came to a halt beside the hospital bed.
Aoi was there motionless, sweat at her brows;
but she was gasping. Gasping for air.
I realized with horror that
her oxygen mask
was detached.
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White Christmas
"Aoi!!" I cried feebly.
My hands were trembling as I fumbled to reconnect the air supply.
Tears made my vision blurry.
In my mind, I repeated the same silent prayer that I pray every night;
the same prayer I've prayed for so long.
Please let her be okay.
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White Christmas
When she finally took in deep rasping breaths of relief
I collapsed and held her so tight I could feel her troubled breathing against me.
Breathe, Aoi, breathe!
Air, the invisible substance that sustains life.
How fragile was she...
I looked at her with sad eyes.
A mere breeze could blow out her candle...
Her life dependent on a tiny tube.
On an invisible substance.
Tears of frustration fell from my eyes.
I swore to protect her.
I will find out who did that to you, Aoi!
Chapter 338
White Christmas
For the rest of the night, I sat unmoving next to Aoi's bed like a watchguard.
I would not leave her side.
Would the figure return?
Who was it?
Why?
A million questions tore through my mind.
I tried to calm myself.
There was no use getting angry.
Our Christmas was ruined already.
Everything was all too familiar.
Many months ago on my birthday someone had threatened me and Aoi.
How come this felt so familiar?
The person...
I felt like I must know this person.
Chapter 339
White Christmas
I snapped awake and immediately checked on Aoi.
She was back to normal, sleeping soundly.
Perhaps this was the best for her.
The world was too cruel. Too too cruel.
I wish I could sleep eternally.
But peace was never eternal.
It felt like something was calling me to the door.
An eerie dark presence.
There was no peace to be found here.
My cautious footsteps and shivering shadow approached the door
as I pressed up the palms of my hand against it.
It was warm to the touch.
The door slid open quietly but there was nothing waiting on the other side.
I breathed out silently in relief.
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White Christmas
I yawned and stepped out into the hall.
The darkness of the hospital halls was comforting.
I was able to find refuge in the shadows now.
Instead of the sun that I always loved;
I enjoyed the solitude and secrecy of the night.
Every night from now on I will sleep here next to Aoi.
She was the only thing keeping me alive.
A precious part of my heart I must protect.
I couldn't let someone else take her away from me.
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White Christmas
My soft footsteps amplified a hundred times in the hallway.
I was following the route of the murderer.
Murderer. My dearest Aoi could've been killed.
I found myself at a side door and pushed it open.
The cold air hit me like a wall,
climbing up my nose, down my throat, filling my lungs,
eating me from the inside out.
I let the cold swallow me and stepped outside.
The sky was a deep blue.
For the naked eye it appeared black, but looks can be deceiving.
It was going to be morning soon.
As I stood on the path looking up at the sky, something landed on my nose.
it melted as soon as I touched it.
Snow.
It will be a white Christmas.
Chapter 342
White Christmas
The first snowflakes touched down softly, one at a time.
Lonely snowflakes became friends.
A few became many. Many became more.
More and more they came down from heaven.
They fell against me, a tickling sensation,
a million white stars against the dark sky.
Were they mocking us?
Or were they trying to cheer us up?
Chapter 343
White Christmas
I watched the flakes land softly on the interlocking path underneath me.
They made a soft blanket under my feet, like a sea of white fluff.
It was really pretty. I wish Aoi could see this.
I took a few more steps and let snow collect in my hand.
Maybe I'll bring it inside to show her.
Then something crunched under my foot.
It was something silver. Glittering.
A key?
My fingers brushed against the freezing snow and felt the cold silver under my touch.
It was a small key on an ambiguous keychain.
A sudden realization hit me.
Somehow I had a feeling this was left behind earlier.
It belonged to him.