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C A Z H V Y R E
I WAS ONLY ABLE TO FOCUS ON THE VISION that occurred during the game. That was a unique way of giving me a glimpse; it was as if I was simultaneously existing in two realities, with the others seeing myself through the game I was currently playing and also experiencing the whole vision thing.
"Come on, folks! It's on the house! Let's rejoice! One more victory and the Quidditch Cup is ours!" Sirius cried at the midst of the chaos—the celebratory party after another triumph. To determine who will claim the Quidditch Cup, we only need to know who we will face off against in the battle between Slytherin and Hufflepuff.
All of that will transpire the following year.
"Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Ou! Ou! Ou!"
My focus was still on the current problem at hand, even though everyone was raving hysterically.
That freaking vision.
I haven't had the opportunity to discuss this kind of inkling with Theo or Professor Luthox. I had a brief conversation with Theo while he congratulated our team, but I was unable to speak with him in private.
Sirius may have been the person in charge of the party, but I was the key to success in the game. They won't let me escape, of course. Practically, the party was for us as well. James is too ecstatic to allow him to fret about anything else. Besides, nothing else has occurred.
I did say that, but once I got a look outside again, all I could still see was the ashes of black snow mocking this reality I am currently celebrating.
"For the new seeker that brought us victory!" Of course, Sirius wouldn't let his speech pass by without mentioning me.
Wood began to chant, "Ravens! Ravens! Ravens!" and everyone else joined in. The others followed for the sake of Gryffindor's honor despite their animosity of my reputation and the Prewetts' contempt for me.
I simply raise my glass as they all shout in happiness again and get back to their business. As you can tell, being in the spotlight or at a party isn't my thing. It never was and never will be a thing.
"Cazh! Godric, you were bloody amazing out there! It was wicked! Brilliant!" James did not halt in his praise for me as he dared to wrap me in his arms and twirl again like a little kid. The others watch us as they all laugh at his goofiness.
This boy, honestly. I can not help but grin at him simply because he was never ashamed or timid while talking with other people about us or me.
As James puts me down, Lily pats my back and says, "You did great out there, Cazh. It was almost impossible to even know I was witnessing it happen." The others praise me whilst giving me warm embraces.
Marlene confidently continued, attempting to kiss my cheeks but failing due to James safeguarding me from her, "Well, I knew Cazh is something else but I could fucking get on with her right there if it weren't for Potter."
"Bugger off, Potter, while granting me a piece of her," said Marlene.
"Never within your wildest dreams, McKinnon, will I permit you to take my Cazh."
As they both attempted to kiss me or separate me from the other, people joked around inanely.
Mary said, "Damn, I can not help but also admire you, Cazh. If only I hadn't been straight."
Frank raised an amusing eyebrow at Alice after she said, "Well, I have Frank sad to say." Despite the noise all around us, we all laughed at it and took in the relaxing atmosphere.
Peter added, embarrassed, "I would not like to get on with Cazh, though. I would probably pass away before I could even come close." I just rolled my eyes at him. Before downing yet another drink, he grinned mischievously at me.
Remus responded, "We're proud of you, Cazh," and we both hugged each other back.
All of these happened in a matter of minutes, and yet all I could still think about is the meaning behind the vision.
All of these things occurred within a couple of minutes, yet all I could think about was the significance of the vision.
I told him, "James, I'll just go outside and get some fresh air. Don't drink too much, idiot." His hold on me is like a puppy getting tossed out of the house as he clutched me tightly and pleaded, "Don't leave me, Cazh. I want you here." To counter his dramatics, I softly slap his arm.
"You're still sober, James. Now, get off before I smack you hard," he quickly took off and saluted me, "Yes, ma'am!" We both laughed at our antics as he finally let me go.
Sirius called out to me just as I was about to leave the common area.
"Cazh! Wait!"
I considered not turning around just settling for a tease, but knowing Sirius, if I take a risk, he might as well leech on me.
I heard Sirius pant beside me and mumbled for me to stop before he passed out, "Hurry up, Sirius. I need some fresh air." The enticing scent of the drinks he could as well consume is already in the air. Even though it hasn't been long, I was already noticing that this guy was likely to get quite drunk.
I'm not sure what he's playing at, but I grasp the concept of "You. Woosh. Shit. Woah. Then woosh. Fuck. Victory! And—," as his way of expressing his admiration.
I taunted him as he huffed loudly, "Fuck you too, Sirius, and thank you for the appreciation of my talent. At least you finally learned who is best among us in flying."
He said triumphantly, while I just rolled my eyes, "Of course you are outstanding. A student must surpass their mentor. I mean, I did not even do that well to give you a shot in the spotlight, but watch me next year. I'll do even better than you."
I stated, knowing there was a potential I would be replaced after this year, "Let's observe where that bravado is headed the following year."
He remarked, "Ooh, I can determine it happening, Ravens. Despite you being a bird, I am a dog!" Even how animals come up in our conversation is beyond me. I do not even want to comment any further on that, but I just had to.
I questioned him, "I thought the Ravenclaw referred to as the bird?"
He continued to declare, "I am a dog. I fly," and I could see he was losing it because he also kept claiming, "You are another kind of bird with no wings but can fly."
I bid him farewell as he joyously runs back towards the middle of the party and says, "Alright, alright, no barking anymore. Get over it, Black, and stop drinking for fuck's sake."
Seriously. If they ever fall unconscious, I will not take care of them. They are by themselves.
My comfortable demeanor abruptly tensed up as I exited by the door. I hastily return to the Quidditch grounds as my smile fades into a thin line on my face.
It was still there when I eventually arrived. Everything—the weather, the snow, everything. For a little while, I was able to distinguish between the reality inside the vision with the one I am currently experiencing.
Whatever I could recall was written down. A means through which I can arrange my thoughts and discover some hints about the meaning of this new vision.
First, the fucking change in weather or state of the day. It is both winter seasons, I know that for sure. Maybe even the same month. All I could see was the ashes of black snow, which could indicate a hint that I am still in a vision because I am having trouble focusing on this reality as well. The only difference was that it was pouring down rain in that scene, and this winter is supposed to be freezing normally.
Both realities appeared to be fake or I am just going insane as time passes by. Even now, I'm not sure if we actually triumphed or if the folks I was with earlier are legitimate.
Then the snitch, of course. When the object in question seeks me to chase it around, it's definitely trying to tell me something. In addition, when it was in my hands, I had the need to break it or take action.
There's also that shadow of a dog. What the hell is that dog or the grim if worse, showing itself to that boy?
The dementors are an additional threat. A wraith-like agent of darkness. At some point, it drains the soul and body of all the joy. They ought to have been swarming the Azkaban prisoners, but instead, they were at the Hogwarts gates, which they shouldn't have been unless there was a prisoner that escaped. That implies that the prisoner remains at Hogwarts as well.
Then the boy.
That crazy, foolish Gryffindor boy, fuck him.
I made an effort to think back on our exchanges and the brief period of time I had spent observing him. He was a boy on the Gryffindor team with brown hair and glasses, and that was all I could think of. I don't know whether it is correct, but this is all I can come up with.
I nearly think he resembles James, but it would be impossible because the boy was obviously younger, and I would know if he was James right away. He is familiar enough to me, though, that I felt a chill pass down my spine.
It's something that is keeping me mostly intrigued besides another person.
That girl.
The most perplexing—yet seemingly hopeful—impression I took away from those events was this.
It was only a quick exchange, but I was certain that she was a young girl as well, possibly in the same year as the guy and even on the same Gryffindor team. Her platinum blonde hair is very close to being my shade.
Let's just say I do not even want to wander to a territory in my mind that I always keep locked out. Having children is never my thing—will never be my thing.
I just hope she is a complete stranger or a far descendant of our blood.
Godric, why did I think of that?
When the pain returned, I was still trying to make sense of everything and search for any details or pictures pertaining to the boy and the girl.
I can't help but scream out all of my anger in the open, "Fuck! What do you want?! Just tell me! All these riddles, all these visions, all these fucking unhelpful realities! What is it?! What do you want to tell me?!"
I was frustrated.
No. I was outraged. I'm mad. I'm so furious that I'm tempted to simply go off using my broom once more in an effort to see if I can have another vision or travel back in time.
...go back to that time?
That's it!
What the hell?
What if I were in a different timeline? Could it be that it's not only about two realities? The players were different, the environment had improved, and it seemed strange to be thrust onto a foreign dimension.
What in the holy—?
At this moment, I already have an overwhelming feeling that I am precise about the timeline and thus am wondering, "Did my vision just jumpstart me into a point of this timeline or another?" I'm not sure of the year, but I believe it is closer to the future than the past.
I simply began to have the impression that this was something that would take place in the distant future. It does not feel right for it to be appearing in this timeline.
How about the boy and the girl? Do they have anything to do with me or the future events?
My head is almost suffering from more migraines as a result of this than I was hoping for.
Since I could no longer learn much by remaining here, I made the decision to return to the party and, at the very least, inform one of my companions who is still sober and is aware of my Astro ability. I now have to face one of the marauders. Remus is probably the one who are not going to get drunk this evening, which is why I sure hope he isn't consuming alcohol at the moment.
The entryway behind the portrait was in my reach, but it swung open on me right away. I could immediately hear my eardrums shattering as loud music blasted through my ear canals. They are undoubtedly having a bloody fun at their party.
I stopped searching for someone who knew their way around this vast body of people. My legs wouldn't budge no matter how hard I tried. Has someone seriously stepped on me? No. My entire body was being immobilized by the weight that I could sense.
As I lifted my head to look again for my friends, everyone in the common area had vanished.
Nobody is present. There was only me.
I said to myself, "I knew it. I'm still in a vision." I made an effort to control my emotions as I looked around. Even though I'm still stranded, nothing has happened yet.
I'm pretty sure it still ain't a good sign.
I don't know what has happened to me, but I was convinced that someone was about to arrive as I declared "Fucking show yourself." In this circumstance, being alone is impossible. There is always the creepiness lurking in. I was stuck since it is better to wait for someone to show themself or anything to happen rather than going somewhere else in vain.
I was startled out of my place by a cracking movement. I immediately turned to my right after hearing the noise. The wall abruptly took on a new pattern that I had seen previously in the maze of my memories. I could be feel the familiarity of the engravedpatterns and sheer oddity of the secret door.
Then, in the middle of it, was a dim passageway—vast forest of darkness.
No bloody way.
I couldn't resist whispering out loud, "The chamber?" Why now, fuck? Why is it just now appearing?
Then it hit me. Someone is going to emerge out of it if I refrain from walking straight to it. Now, this has begun to resemble an eerie movie. I can't even stand to gaze at the corridor for very long since I can already sense the...intensity of pungent odor of a deserted place equipped with vile entity. Despite this, my curiosity-driven desire overcomes any hesitancy or skepticism. I could see somene turning to face me. I keep my eyes fixed on it. No, specifically, I stare someone right in the eyes.
I did not shrink nor move back from the enticing eyes that is staring straight back at me, uttering, "Show yourself. I think it's time we come acquainted with one another face-to-face again."
It might have been crystal or deep blue. In the pitch-black passageway, burning eyes caught my attention.
"Why did you bring me here," was an order rather than a question. Despite the fact that we both have an extremely cold exterior, his authoritative voice made me believe that he is a little older than I am and absolutely the distinctive of my own unlikeness.
I responded in the same cold manner, "What? I didn't invite you here. You fucking disclosed yourself in front of me and in my space."
I ought to have known he was grinning at me and almost ridiculing my integrity if only I could have seen him openly. The fact that I neither invited him nor knew him was a fact yet it creeps the bloody hell out of me when I realize how I suddenly cope up with his demeanor like we are old friends.
He responded, "Oh, but you did. You made this space for me. You dragged me here, silly girl." I could feel my rage starting to sustain itself. He talks toward me in a way that I find unpleasant. He gave off an air of sophistication and courtesy that was almost identical to that of Slytherins, who are all purebloods, yet it is more vile than any other. I was acutely aware that he was one, yet I couldn't shake the impression that he was peculiar.
Nevertheless his was still separate from theirs, significantly more distinct and precise, or, perhaps if I may add, far more mature in age and experience.
I responded, "I don't even know you, and I have no need to meet you or force you to come here. It was accurate to say that the curse was the one influencing this scenario, not me.
Then, at the back of his throat, there was a dreadful laugh that was nearly hissing—a slythering mockery. What was he finding so amusing to this?
He continued, "Oh, but I do know you, both of us may not comprehend the exact reason why you brought me here in this space, but I know that this is not merely a coincidence, so make sure to ponder about it. Why did you call me here, girl?" His words were ingrained in my mind. I had the impression that whatever he was attempting to tell me was relevant and would eventually lead our fate in becoming entwined.
I'm utterly stimulated to know his identity in spite of the darkness that surrounds him, so I impose, "Who are you?"
I could almost hear an imminent risk in his heavy footfall as he moved nearer. I noticed the tips of his shoes in the dim light as he got getting nearer and nearer. He was so close, yet I couldn't reach over his side to recognize him, grasp him, and expose him away from the shelter of the shadows. It sounded absurd but all I could think about is how this person will impact my life from now on.
He is neither a vision or some twist up reality.
I had the impression that I was facing myself. The similarity between our posture and the way we believed shielded in the shelter of darkness was frighteningly uncanny.
He halts in his tracks, "I should be asking that," and whispers "Who are you?"
Then it dawned on me. I felt a tug to draw me back abruptly as door after door slammed. I attempted to flail out of it, but it was too robust, too direct, and overly frightened as if it were unhappy with how I interacted with that man.
. . .
"Cazh!"
I was torn away from that force and awakened by the echoing sound that came from the obnoxious repetition of knocking on my door.
Exactly what was that? It appeared to be visions one after the other.
Even now, I'm not sure what was real.
James could be heard on the other side of my door asking, "Cazh, are you awake?" but I can't force myself to walk over, open it, and finally be enveloped by something real.
However, the entirety of what transpired left me feeling too bewildered, worried, and disturbed. When another one occurred at the party, I was just beginning to understand the vision from the game. Starting with the game and ending with the party, it can even be the same vision. No, in fact, the vision may still include this.
I could feel his anxiety seeping into the room as he asked, "Cazh? Are you alright there? You're worrying me. You've been acting strange since yesterday."
Wait. Yesterday?!
I yelled back, "What? What do you mean yesterday?" I made an effort to remain cool, but I failed to comprehend fully.
"I thought something took place, but thank goodness you're awake. Would you mind opening the door first?" he asked without trying to force his way.
Despite the slight dizziness I experienced from getting out of my sleeping position so rapidly, I swiftly get up. I did not, however, instantly open the door. Instead, I simply stand in front of it as if I were anticipating its route back into the chamber's obscured hallway.
To gaze up, find him grinning menacingly and saying, 'Got you.'
"Are you James?" It slipped away from my thoughts. I can still feel my confusion blinding my rationality.
Words slid from my thoughts to "Are you James?" I still sense my perplexity, impairing my ability to think clearly.
He questioned softly but laced with anxiety, "What? Of course it's me. Cazh, open this. I am already getting really anxious."
I overheard Remus asking James, "What's wrong? Is Cazh having some difficulties? Why isn't she awake yet?"
Peter said, "That's unusual. She's always earlier than us."
He is correct. Even before they ought to be awake, I am supposed to be awake first. This is bogus. This is crazy. They do not exist.
Sirius was already up at this point, asking, "What's all the commotion without me? Is something going on?"
Oh no, I'm starting to worry. Despite my anxiety being so intense that it was tearing me apart from the inside, I tried to suppress it and make it go away. I got nothing out of that conversation with the piercings blue-eyed boy that the anxiety is mixing with my frustration.
My current condition is a mess.
Every area in my room started to feel taut to me. Simply put, I want them gone. I need to leave. I wish they were gone. I need to escape.
Cazh, please respond, a part of me screams, but was overpowered by my doubt, "Hey, are you still there?"
Leave now. Step away. Leave now. Step back. Leave now. Leave me alone, please! I desperately clung to myself to claw my way out of the whirlwind of anxiety.
I felt as though I had returned to reality when the constant thudding of the door that I had believed to be so much closer suddenly became clearer and more reserved in my ear.
I took a peek around and noticed that nothing had changed about how I appeared in this space.
I am back now. It is the case. My reality is how it is. This is real. I do not know how I can tell that this is real, but I knew something was amiss a while ago before my surroundings clear out.
This time around, I opened the door without thinking, threw myself at James, and gave him an affectionate embrace. All I want to do is feel him. I must be certain he is real. I must be certain he is my James.
The blue-eyed guy has left.
He did not question my move and instantly offered a tight hug back, trying not to overwhelm me. "I'm here. You're okay. Shh." I didn't even realize I was quivering quietly.
Fuck. I'm sobbing like a child.
Why can't I control my emotions and stop weeping?
I don't want to share the pleasure from the Slytherin lad with the blue eyes that he had prevailed by making me cry.
No. I'm crying because I do not want them to disappear. I don't want James disappearing as well.
Sirius asked as he noticed that I had already melted in James' hug and was returning to my normal self, "What in the bloody name are you submerged, Cazh? Did you fucking drown in the Black Lake when you left the night before?"
Even now, I continue to perceive the slow trickle of tears leaving the corners of my eyes, but it wasn't all that. I could also feel the aqueous leftovers on my bed and the trail of my feet, as well as my soaked clothes and hair that were dripping wet.
Remus said, "Really, Sirius? The party was like hours ago. She should have been dried already."
Peter asked, "Did she take a bath with her clothes on then?"
Sirius continued, suddenly worried as he eventually took a better look at how I was doing, "Her clothes are the same as what she was wearing during the game and at the party. She did not even switch her clothes before resting. Wait, did you even sleep, Cazh?"
How awful do I appear to them for him to ask that?
Remus didn't hold back in expressing his concerns and rushed to my aid, asking, "Cazh, what's going on; were you drunk? Did something happen?"
I responded, which caused them all to stare at me with concern, "I...I don't know. I don't bloody know what is going on."
James, trying not to startle me, softly advised, "We should converse in your room." I allowed them in while nodding. James said it in an effort to gain approval.
Before I started saying things to them aloud, Peter locked the door for us.
"I honestly have no idea what happened or what is happening. Even now, every detail is distorting myself. I... Is this really happening? Are you all for real?" Without filtering it or picking the appropriate words, I was compelled to spill all that was going through my thoughts.
Bloody hell, I sound fucking insane.
James rushes in, "Cazh, hey, look at me." He tentatively extended his hand toward mine before softly placing it on his right cheek.
He asked, sounding neither scared nor perplexed, "What does this feel like?"
I paused for a moment, then gently murmured, "Warm. You're warm."
He responded, "Yes, and you felt cold, Cazh."
I naturally felt chilly. I felt as though I had just been drowned due to how soaked I was.
Is it possible I drowned at the Black Lake?
He said slowly and sweetly smiled at me, "Hey, we can feel each other. This is real, Cazh. I'm real. We're real." I nearly started crying again, but I restrained myself to keep from getting too distraught. For the time being, I could not allow my emotions to cloud my judgment.
They are legitimate. It is real. It is the truth.
I believed I was still inside my vision all throughout my day when I said, "God. I thought I was still hallucinating."
"Cazh, you're not."
Fuck. I'm not a vision.
This is real.
I'm back.
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