After another thirty minutes pass by of us being outside, we call it a day. Angus and I walk little James back to his house as James goes back inside to warmup.
Little James's parents apologize on his behalf for trespassing, but we say it's alright before walking back over to our house.
"That was nice of James to play with him," Angus says while putting his hands in his pockets. I tug on the hem of the hoodie James gave me as I smile saying," Yeah, he's really great."
Angus cocks his brow up as he looks over at me, before he could say anything more, James opens the front door for us.
Tension grows as James stares down at Angus. I walk in the doorway beside James as I motion for Angus to come in. He steps in and closes the door behind him. Once we were all inside, I say," Does anyone want crepes?"
They both give me a confused look as I go over to the kitchen," How about you guys watch a movie while I make an appetizer?"
"How about a horror movie?" James suggests as he smirks at Angus who rolls his eyes in disapproval.
"A horror movie with a serial killer sitting beside me? Yeah, absolutely not," he says sarcastically while crossing his arms.
I take out some crepe ingredients and place them on the counter while James and Angus go back and forth debating about what to watch. In the end, they ended up watching titanic.
"The food's ready," I say as I sit in between them, placing a large spread of crepes on the glass table in front of the couch.
"Thanks," Angus sniffles as he takes one of the crepes. He's really emotional when it comes down to watching sad movies, so I wasn't surprised to see him crying softly.
"Yeah, thanks august," James says as he reaches for a crepe, as he does, I can also see tears forming in his eyes.
"Are you crying?" I ask while pulling his face towards me.
"I'm not," he says while pulling away.
I snuggle beside him as I say," You so were."
He pulls me closer to him as he whispers for me to shush. I lay my head on his shoulder completely forgetting about Angus being right next to us. I looked over to see him scratching his ear as he snuck glances at us. I quickly move away from James and sit up during the rest of the movie.
I must've fallen asleep during the movie because when I woke up again, I was no longer in the living room. I scratched my head as I sat up realizing I was back in our bedroom. James laid beside me sleeping soundlessly. Carefully, I got out of bed trying not to wake him. The room was pitch black, so I could barely see but somehow, I was able to make it to the door.
I turned to James making sure he was still sleep, thankfully he was. Feeling a bit thirsty, I decide to go downstairs for a glass of water. As I reach the end of the stairs, I hear a voice coming from the kitchen.
I lighten my footsteps as I quietly walk towards the kitchen to see Angus sitting at the table with a house phone to his ear. "You made a drawing today in class? Aw sweetie, I wish I was there to see it," he says to the other person on the line.
"I don't know when I'll be home, I'm sorry," he turns his head towards me as I enter the kitchen. I give him a smile as I make my way to the sink." Hey, your uncle just stepped into the room, want to say 'hi' really quick?" Hearing this, I turn to him and mouth,' Is it angel? ', his youngest daughter.
He nods as I go over to him, I take the phone nervously. I haven't talked to or even seen my niece for over three years now so I was afraid she wouldn't recognize my voice.
"Hello?" I say raising the phone to my ear.
The sweetest most innocent voice full of youth laughs into the phone as she says," Uncle August! I miss you so much!"
A smile cracks on my face just from hearing her voice.
"Hey Hunny, how have you been?" I say smiling at Angus who watches with a grin. His wife and children aren't like my parents or anyone else who used to make me depressed. They're the sweetest people on the universe, they welcome me with warm arms every time I see them and treat me like I'm a person. I cherish them a lot. Though we don't see each other quite as often anymore, they never treat me any differently.
After having a quick conversation and laughing with Angel who literally is an Angel, I hand the phone back to Angus and pour myself a cup of water. "Yes sweetie, I know he sounds much better than he usually does, right?"
I take a sip of water and lean on the kitchen counter as I listen in on the conversation. Angus smiles a lot as he talks to his family, his smile and happiness makes me wonder if I'll ever have that with my own family. Will I ever be able to have kids and teach them how to love everyone despite their flaws like his children? Now that I think about it, I realize how wrong this all feels. Keeping him from seeing his wife and kids. Though he chose to stay here, it's because of me. I'm the reason he can't see Angel's drawing. I don't deserve my brothers love, he gives so much of it to me, and I can only give him so little in return.
Guilt overwhelms me as I watch Angus smile as he carries out his conversation. Hearing Angel's laughter on the other side of the line only breaks my heart even more. I turn to the sink as I pour out the remaining water, I'm too nauseous to even finish.
"Everything okay?" Angus says from behind me. I place the cup into the sink and turn to him with a fake smile.
"I'm good, what did your wife say?" I ask while taking a seat next to him. He studies my expression as he says," She told me to make sure I look after you."
My eyebrows raise slightly from the response," R-Really?"
He nods his head with a smile forming on his face," Yes really, we're all so worried about you. She was the one who convinced me to come down here to see if you were okay after you stopped answering my calls."
I bite my lip, turning away from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. I can feel his gentle hand over mine as he asks with concern," August what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lie.
"August look at me," he demands.
I give in as I turn to look at him, tears now flooding from my eyes. His brows crease in worry as he asks," Why are you crying?"
I shake my head as if everything is fine saying," You shouldn't be here."
"One thing, I refuse to do is leave you," he trails off his he bites his lip thinking hard. I could feel my nose burning as more tears flooded my eyes. He lets out a breath as he continues," I regret, I regret so much I-. I shouldn't have left you alone after college. I know we're supposed to go our separate ways after school but I knew how much you needed me, and I left anyways. Our parents, your girlfriend even those fake ass friends you introduced me too once. I knew how much they hurt you and I let them, now look at you. You resorted to running off, trying to find your own happiness. I promise you August, I won't let anyone ever hurt you the way they used to ever again."
Angus's eyes turned bloodshot as he stares deeply into mine, he's so sincere. Though I was a crying mess, my mouth managed to form into a smile. "Angus, I have found my happiness, James—" I bite down on my tongue, ready to come out with the full truth of me and James's relationship.
"James is my happiness, Angus. For me, he's that and everything more. He's taught me how to love myself in ways one ever has before. All my life, I thought that no one was ever going to love me. Like I was just some lone bag being tossed around in the wind, that was until I met him. He doesn't see me as a broken man who can't even get his own parents to love him. He sees me for me, someone who gives people everything they got so he can recieve their love in the end. Angus, I promise you that I am the happiest I've ever been with him." I let out a shaky breath as I finish saying what I've been holding back for days.
Now I'm just waiting for the look from him or the anger for falling in love with a psychotic man but it never comes. Instead, I'm met with my baby brother's soft embrace. Shock from his response, I just sit there as he holds me even tighter.
"August......"
I cut him off sobbing," I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall in love with a man. I-It's just that, he makes me so happy." My words start to come out as a stutter as I bawl my eyes out. Angus pulls onto my shoulders, pulling out the embrace as his eyes go wide.
"August, don't ever apologize for being happy. Though I wish it could've been anyone else in the world, man or woman I see how he looks at you. How you look at him, how he treats you better than anyone I've ever met before. I see the way you two love each other August." He gives me a smile saying," I will always love you no matter who you choose to lay down with, you're my family, remember that I'll always be the one you can trust and count on when you have no one left."
I sob even more from his reassuring words. He smiles as tears gently roll down his cheeks. I get up from my chair and pull him back into my embrace.
'He doesn't hate me? I'm so happy. '