CHAPTER SIXTY
( cockroaches are hard to kill )
OCT 27, 2149
DAY FORTY FIVE ON THE GROUND
COMPASS ━━━
ZELLA DAY
" compass points you
anywhere closer to me. "
EVENTUALLY, AND WITH GREAT RELUCTANCE, BELLAMY AND DAKOTA PULLED APART; sorely aware that reality was awaiting them. They had gotten each other back, and unleashed their hearts from the wretched shackles to which they'd been bound, but the fight was far from over.
Dakota turned her head over her shoulder, a worried look taking shape on her face at the way the Vie girl still stood with the gun halfheartedly raised; traumatized eyes fastened to Lovejoy's harrowing corpse. "Maya?"
Bellamy's features wore the same look of woe for the trembling teenager when she didn't respond. Obviously this girl was a trusted ally, and someone who'd never witnessed anything close to the violence that had just taken place.
It was the Blake boy who tried to catch her attention this time. "Hey. You okay?"
She flinched, her eyes finally snapping over to the pair as she sized him up once; deeming his concern for her genuine. After a second, she nodded unconvincingly. "I'm fine."
"Maya, this is Bellamy. Bellamy, Maya." Dakota gestured between the two, still trying to catch her breath.
There was a beat, Bellamy swallowing and nodding appreciatively, flickering a sad smile her way; one that she couldn't return no matter how hard she tried. He couldn't begin to express his gratitude, he knew. Still, he whispered the heavy words, "Thank you."
The Thompson girl frowned as she brought her thumb to the corner of his lip, ridding it of a small smear of blood still lining it. She placed her hands on his shoulders, scooting slightly back to observe the thick pad of gauze taped to his neck and the one on his forearm. She silently clenched her teeth, knowing they didn't have time for her to bitch and moan about what they'd put him through— no matter how royally it pissed her off.
She shook her head, realizing she had not the slightest clue how the Blake had even ended up in a grounder's harvest chamber. "How are you here?"
"I came to get you out. Get all of you out. Clarke and Lexa needed an inside man."
Dakota knitted her brows. "Lexa?" She was so thrown off by the unfamiliar name she didn't even think to address the fact that Clarke was safe and accounted for— which likely meant Fallon was too.
A weak smile passed over Bellamy's lips. "The Commander." Dakota's eyes went round in shock, her jaw falling open. "I have a lot to catch you up on."
"Yeah, apparently." she let out a small breath, soon putting it out of her mind and beginning to rise shakily to her feet.
Maya scurried to help her, grabbing swiftly onto her arms. "Kota, careful."
Bellamy knitted his brows, not hesitating to reach up and steady her by the waist; confused as to why Maya felt the need to help her. His eyes widened, his heart sinking as his face fell. Beneath the long loose fitting t-shirt she was wearing, he could feel her ribs jutting oddly out beneath her unusually cold skin in a place where he shouldn't be able to feel her ribs. He hadn't realized it when he had hugged and held her— he hadn't been paying attention— but she was underweight and sickeningly pale; not quite looking like her normal self. Her face a little hollow, her grip a little weaker.
"I'm good." she immediately declared, speaking before Bellamy had the chance to and shaking their hands off of her; neither of them wanting to let go. She could barely look him in the eyes, the sheer heartache on his face too much to bear.
Unalloyed anger rattled through his bones, rage poisoning his veins as he resisted the urge to cry out and tremble in fury. They had hurt her— badly, and he had not been there to stop it. He wasn't sure which he felt more strongly; shame in himself for not protecting her, or hatred for whoever had dared to touch a single hair on her head. His hands moved behind his back and out of sight, creating shivering fists and digging his fingernails so deeply into his palms the skin broke along the exterior. As much as he wanted to ask what had happened, he painstakingly held his tongue; knowing now was not the time nor place.
The initial shock and amazement began to wear off as Dakota reminded herself of the two people she'd just left behind. "Come on, we need to get you dressed."
And perhaps more horrifying than her physical wounds, was the way she waltzed right over to Lovejoy's body as if it were nothing. As if his bewildered eyes, frozen open in death, weren't the least bit haunting to her. She knelt down with a stifled groan, beginning to causally unbutton the uniform from a corpse whose blood was still warm.
"Dakota, I can do that." Bellamy softly voiced, quick to jump to his feet and hurry over to her; ensuring her he could deal with the dirty job on his own.
"No, it's okay. You need his clothes." She shrugged, unbothered.
Bellamy felt like he was going to be sick.
A thick knot tied in his throat as his lips curved downward in a bout of strong disgust, his head spinning at the sight. He wasn't exactly sure what had occurred, what they had done to the woman he loved, but he knew that whatever it was had been the stuff of nightmares. There was not an inkling of sadness or sympathy on her features for the man whose life had just been so brutally taken. Usually this kind of thing would crush her, even if it had been an act of self defense against the enemy.
Had her warmth been replaced with a chilling indifference?
He took a deep breath, knowing he couldn't focus on that right now. "We need to get rid of the body." he solemnly stated, earning a small, timid nod from Maya.
༻✧༺
A BRUISED LIP AND A BLACK EYE HAD FORMED ON BELLAMY'S FACE BY THE TIME HE HAD CHANGED into the uniform and discarded of Lovejoy's body in the 'END CONTAINMENT AREA.' The white button up and khaki pants were just his size, and the protective vest above it was neither too loose nor too snug on his shoulders and chest. It fit him almost perfectly, but still, he looked nothing like one of them. He carried himself differently than your average Mount Weather guard, and the look in his eyes was far too heavy to match how these people so luxuriously lived.
Ignoring the pain in her legs and hips— heavily faded by whatever glorious medication Maya had given her earlier— Dakota left the mountain girl's side and walked over to him; reaching up to adjust his white collar that was folded incorrectly.
His guilty eyes were fixated on Maya across the room as his girlfriend tampered with his clothing. "You've done enough. You should walk away."
"You don't know where you're going." she quietly sighed, voice tired.
"I'll have Dakota."
The Thompson girl swallowed, butting in as she strapped Lovejoy's holster back onto his belt and took a step back; smoothening out his sleeves for a final time. "No you won't."
His gaze shot back down to her in an instant, the boy shifting his weight on his feet as his forehead creased. "What are you talking about?" his voice was low and mildly harsh, panicked by the idea of what she might mean.
"I can't come with you. I'll blow your cover right away."
"You're out of your damn mind if you think we're splitting up again."
"No, Dakota's right." Maya vouched for her. "Every guard in this mountain is probably looking for her right now."
He knitted his brows, eyes traveling between the two girls. "Why would they be looking for you?"
Neither of them uttered a word. The Vie girl looked like she'd been caught in a lie, uncomfortable and uneasy. Dakota averted her eyes from him, her lips in an tight line as she tried to mask the dodgy look on her face. She was keeping something from him— they both were, it was obvious.
"It won't work if I'm with you." she repeated, avoiding his question; causing his heart to race a little. She wasn't one to hide things, and it made him nervous to think about what might possibly cause her to do so. It occurred to him he didn't even know why she had been down here to find him in the first place.
But still, he held his tongue. Whatever it was, she didn't seem keen on currently discussing. "Dakota, I can't—"
She interrupted his troubled, strained tone; gently grasping onto his hand and sending him the most reassuring smile she could muster. "It's okay. I'll be fine."
He stewed over it a moment longer, reluctance and dread tying his stomach into knots. Still, he knew they had no other choice. He couldn't keep her safe if the first thing he did was get caught.
"Where will you go?" he questioned, repulsed by his own words leaving his lips; in disbelief that he would have to let her out of his sight once more.
She thought it over for a moment before answering. "I'll go back to the dorm. Tell the others you're here. It's a straight shot from the med bay, which we're right next to."
He nodded unhappily and turned his attention back to Maya, whom he was still trying to give an out. "Draw me a map, then."
She hesitated briefly, but soon pursed her lips and austerely shook her head; determination flooding her eyes as she extended the gun and Lovejoy's old keycard to him. "No. I'm in."
Slowly, he took them; instinctively checking the magazine, which was full to the brim with bullets. "Okay. I need to get to the radio so I can contact Clarke. We heard Jasper's sos—"
"I helped them set that up. I know where it is." she finished his train of thought.
The Thompson girl furrowed her brows. "What sos?"
"It was after you..." Maya's voice trailed off, nervous eyes drifting to Bellamy's furrowed features, then back to her friend; who she could tell didn't want to tell the boy what had happened to her. "You weren't there."
Bellamy gritted his teeth. Again, they were circumventing something in their conversation.
"Your top priority needs to be Harper and Monty. Harper's not in good shape. They're in the harvest chamber I was telling you about." Dakota confidently declared.
"I don't know where that harvest chamber is." Maya shook her head with a sigh. "And there's no way Jaxx and Cage don't have it on lockdown."
Bellamy nodded to himself, listening closely to follow along. He knew who Jaxx and Cage were— Fallon and Clarke had filled him in on that. Cage was the President, Dante's, son; Jaxx his adopted son. He hadn't known that the two were allegedly the masterminds behind the horrors taking place here, however, which is sure how the current conversation was making it sound.
He took an unsteady breath. "Let's go to the radio."
"Wait." Maya quickly stopped him, yanking Lovejoy's Velcro name tag from the padded vest; slipping it into the back pocket of her jeans. "Everyone here knows everyone. Put this on and roll up your sleeve." she handed him a hat, matching with his stolen uniform as she walked over to rummage through a drawer.
He raked a hand through the haphazard curls hooding his eyes, pushing them out of the way before smashing the cap down on top of them. Dakota barely even recognized the solace that flooded through her just from watching him do so, having so profoundly missed every little mannerism and mundane movement of his. She could watch him merely exist forever in content.
"The tracking chip." he realized, pulling the sleeve up to his bicep.
"It'll trip alarms once we start moving." Maya's nervous eyes met his as she took in a shaky breath, a scalpel in one hand and a gauze pad in the other. "We need to take it out."
"Do it." he unhesitatingly nodded, the girl stepping closer as her unsteady breaths fanned across his forearm; leaning her head closer for a better view.
Dakota stepped to the other side of him, intertwining their fingers in his free hand; pressing herself closely into his side. "Just look at me."
Despite their current predicament, his lips twitched into a small smirk; looking down at the girl. "I think I can manage."
Regardless of his teasing, he was so entranced by the sound of her voice and her big ebony eyes that he felt but a mere sting on his forearm; her little plan of distracting him from the pain working. Unfazed by the trickle of blood rushing down his skin, she sent him a minuscule smile and took the gauze pad from Maya; pressing it carefully down and securing its adhesive edges.
"All done." she informed, placing a gentle kiss on top of the freshly bandaged spot; the boy shaking off the blush that crept along his cheeks.
Maya handed the boy the bloody chip. "Put this in your cage."
Dakota retrieved the cap she'd be wearing prior to their battle with Lovejoy from the floor, fitting it back onto her head and taking the scalpel from Maya's fingers; the girl calmly wiping it clean of Bellamy's blood with the inside of her shirt and tucking it stealthily up her sleeve.
They both watched warily as Bellamy spoke solemnly to the grounder woman hunched in her cage as he placed the small device in his empty one next to hers. Her messy, brown hair cascaded over her shoulders; her eyes full of fear.
Maya took it as an opportunity to speak lowly to her friend, quietly enough so the Blake wouldn't hear; not letting her gaze stray from him to avoid drawing attention. "There's no way you're not going to get caught trying to get back to the dorm. Cage and Jaxx probably have all their best searching every inch of this mountain for you."
A weak, woebegone smile flickered across her pale and sunken-in features; watching the man she loved from across the room. "I know."
"So then stay here. Hide in his cage until we can—"
"I'm not getting back inside of a cage." her voice was suddenly stern and unfriendly, no longer soft like it had been seconds ago. "Not today. Not ever. I'll figure it out."
Maya gulped, nodding in understanding.
"Just... just don't tell Bellamy that. Don't tell Bellamy anything, not yet." she instructed, her voice back to normal; the two knowing she was referencing Tsing taking her bone marrow. "If he's worried about me, he's not going to be able to do what he came here to do."
"I won't. I promise." the mountain girl vowed solemnly, Dakota only then turning to face her; the undercover guard waltzing back over to them with a gloomy look on his features.
"I'm sorry, by the way. For..." her voice trailed off as her fingers rose to gingerly rest on her own neck, Maya's lips parting as she understood what she was referencing. "I was never going to actually hurt you."
She nodded swiftly with a halfhearted smile. "Yeah, I know."
Dakota frowned, pulling the girl into a long, tight hug. "I'm thankful for you. Really." she whispered, keeping her words of gratitude to a minimum to avid getting choked up. Maya's arms wrapped back around her hesitantly at first. But soon, she was sinking into the embrace, and her arms were just as tight around the sky girl.
The two separated, giving each other a look of camaraderie before Maya turned to head to the door; pausing when she realized the important piece she was forgetting. "You coming?"
Bellamy nodded nervously to Maya, who took a few steps away to give them privacy. He could feel his heart begin to pound, his palms beginning to sweat as his mission tugged him ruthlessly away from the Thompson girl. His breath trembled, his body unnervingly stiff as his eyes kept their distance from hers. "I'm scared to leave you." he admitted in a wavering voice.
The worry that bedeviled her careworn body was insufferably fierce, rearing it's gnarly head in the form of vomit creeping up her throat; her chest tightening so badly she could barely breathe. But still, the girl valiantly shoved her fears harshly down until she could muster a convincing smile; all for him. She grabbed both of his hands into hers, swinging their arms side to side as if she didn't have a care in the world; looking up at his features as he outwardly battled the urge to cry.
"Don't be. We've got this." she confidently declared, the ceritantity in her tone giving him the strength to finally meet her gaze. "We've survived worse."
She didn't believe the words she was speaking— what was possibly worse than this? Even the grounders' attack back at their old camp seemed merciful now in light of the mountain. But in this moment, he was weak, which meant she had to be strong; even if she was scared out of her mind too.
With glistening eyes, he cupped her face between his calloused hands, her beauty still prevailing over the haggardness painted upon her features. "I'm gonna get us the hell out of here." he purposefully proclaimed, avid determination stirring in his chest.
She nodded with a feeble smile. The boy pressed his lips ardently into hers, causing her to reach up and wrap her arms around the back of his neck without a second thought. Their bodies naturally morphed into a hug afterwards, Bellamy bending his knees so he wasn't lifting her short, fragile frame off of the ground; fearful of hurting her and not knowing exactly what or where her injuries were. She gripped the hard material of his new vest between her fingers as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, his arms snaking delicately around her lower back; still careful not to squeeze too hard. She took in a big whiff of him as her cheek squished against his broad shoulder, not finding the enrapturing forest smell he used to be. Instead, he smelled just like the mountain; the place she hated most.
She eventually was the one to pull away, the nausea returning at the pitiful look on his face; still horrified to let her out of his sight again. Dakota kissed him swiftly on the cheek once more before detaching herself from him and backing away so he could leave. He turned to depart, begrudgingly forcing one foot in front of the other in the opposite direction of the Thompson girl; his muscles tensing with each step he took.
At the last second, he paused; a thought springing to his mind. "What about Xavier?"
Dakota's entire body seemed to wither at the simple question, a sickened look plaguing her features as the color drained from her face; his words catching her off guard. Her expression crumbled drastically like dominos helplessly tumbling, her shoulders shrinking as images she wished not to remember flashed through her spinning mind.
She could barely force a shaky response. "What?"
"What about Xavier? Jasper's sos said they had taken... you, Monty, Harper, and Xavier, but you just said that Monty and Harper need to be our top priority."
She didn't have to say anything, the look on her face was more than enough for him to gather what had happened, but still she verbalized it. "He's dead."
Bellamy blinked, an appalled air washing over his face; lips parting as his mind reeled. "When?"
"A few days ago." There was silence a moment longer before Dakota cleared her throat, promptly changing the subject as her stomach churned painfully. "You two should get a move on."
"Yeah, let's go." Maya gestured her head, stepping out from where she'd been patiently waiting; detecting her friend's discomfort and urgency. "Someone else will be down here to check the harvest chamber soon. It's routine."
When his feet didn't move and his horrified eyes didn't leave Dakota, the mountain girl tugged gently on his arm; pulling the stumbling, still-in-shock boy behind her.
"Be safe." his voice wavered to the Thompson girl as he was drug out the door, trying to re-focus on the mission once more; despite the gut wrenching news that one of their friends had already been killed at the hands of Mount Weather.
"You too." she tapped her foot impatiently on the ground, desperate for them to leave; unable to keep up her facade any longer.
The second the door shut she lurched forward, snaking one hand around her stomach and placing one on her knee for support as what little was in her stomach came spewing out. The girl groaned slightly, dragging the back of her hand across her lips before her shoulders sunk and she let out the puny sob she'd been fighting so hard to keep inside. It had killed her to send him away just now, and hellish images of Xavier and Thorpe and even Lovejoy were tormenting her silently; everything clawing to catch up to her. With one more exiguous cry, she winced and straightened her spine; her whole body aching and sore. Composing herself a minute longer, she viciously spurred herself to go on; not having time for heartache.
Wiping the tears out from under her rheumy, exhausted eyes, she made sure of the scalpel in her sleeve once more; taking a deep, shaky breath and hurrying with light footsteps out the door.
༻✧༺
THE CITY OF LIGHT.
The mere idea of it was almost as ridiculous as it's buoyant name.
With casually crossed arms and a relaxed air upon her features, Fallon appeared through the tent flap of John Murphy's tiny abode. He slowed his packing upon her unexpected entrance, lips parting briefly before he covered up his surprise; soon resuming his endeavors. He had heard about what happened to her in TonDC, but didn't bring it up; he didn't want to care about her anymore. With a small, perhaps slightly bitter smile— not one fueled by joy— her chestnut eyes trailed over the messy area; the floor of his tent scattered with various items as he packed his whole life away into the leather bag slung over his shoulder. Neither of them said anything, the girl standing still as she watched him ransack his own room for a long moment
"So... this whole city of light thing... you're serious about it?" she sucked her tongue between her teeth, twisting her lips to the side as she awaited his response. She was calm, but he looked mildly annoyed; which had to be the first. He finally turned his full attention to her, pausing from his work with a small sigh.
"Word travels fast around here." she shrugged an explanation, uncrossing her arms and speaking more seriously to him. "What are you doing, Murphy? You're leaving? With Jaha?" she emphasized his name incredulously. "To what, find paradise? Last time I checked you were the only person who hated him as much as I did."
"Really? You don't think Charolette hated him more?" his words were sour.
She let out a short huff, her face falling into an aggravated expression; not having heard that little girl's name in a long time. "Don't change the subject. We both know there's nothing better out there. Why are you doing this?"
"Why do you care, Fallon?" An exasperated and angry look decorated his features. "I thought you wanted me to stay the hell away from you."
"I..." her voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. It was true, those had been her words exactly on multiple occasions.
The boy had every right to be pissed at her, she was well aware. They hadn't been on the ground a full two weeks when she had helped lead the search for Charlotte alongside him— after he'd almost been brutally killed for a murder he didn't commit— and then turned her back on him the second he had been banished. Unnecessarily, and only for the purpose of being cruel, she had stolen his knife from him that night too; the only item he had been left to fend for himself with. Then he'd returned and they'd bonded during the blood virus's fatal reign, and he had been there for her when Bellamy blamed her for Dakota's near-death-experience, and then they'd ended up enemies again and fighting in the woods after he hung the Blake boy. She had spat in his face when he asked her to leave with him, told him to keep his distance when they both wound up at camp Jaha, slept with him, and then ignored him again. She hadn't treated him kindly, and only used him for her own convince; off one second and on the next with him.
It was a long and tortured history.
But the two understood each other in a way they hadn't found in anyone else. They had from the moment they met running through the moonlit forest outside the drop ship. Their weaknesses, their strengths, and the fears they hid mirrored one another; their alikeness leading her to urge him to stay. In spite of herself, she had wound up caring, just a little bit, for John Murphy.
"When I wanted to leave after everything that happened with Mekhi, you told me not to. Now I'm here to do the same." she settled on saying.
"That was different. The grounders aren't a threat anymore with the alliance and—"
"Why are you doing this?" she interrupted his futile excuses and reasonings. "The real reason. No bs."
He shrugged, giving a rueful chuckle. "There's nothing here for me. Why wouldn't I go?"
"Uhh, I dunno, Jaha?" her sarcasm held monumental truth, a twinge of irritation fueling it.
"He's nuts, sure, but he's the first person who's actually given a damn about me in a long time."
She scoffed at his ridiculous words, jarring her head back in disbelief. "You can't be serious. You think he actually cares about you, Murphy? Whatever it is that he's told you... it's a lie. You're smarter than that."
"I'm smart enough to know where I'm not welcomed. And that's with Raven, with Clarke... everyone else here." he clenched his jaw. "Like it or not, you and I aren't the same anymore. You've got people on your team now, people in Mount Weather you've gotta fight for. I don't have anyone here who's got my back, so unless you can give me a reason not to, I'm going."
There was beat, one that was profound in a sudden change of his heart; his demeanor shifting entirely. His face suddenly vulnerable, his eyes suddenly sincere. His voice was soft and quiet when he spoke again in a final ditch effort, a sad plea, for her to prove everything he had just said wrong. "Can you give me a reason not to?"
Her lips parted, her mouth falling open as stared at him; a symphony of different thoughts swirling behind her chestnut eyes.
He wanted her to be the reason he stayed.
And she did... want him to stay.
But she could not be the reason.
So the girl closed her mouth and swallowed the bitter taste upon her tongue, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. His face hardened once more at her expression, hanging his head briefly and letting out a small scoff; knowing her answer.
She walked over to him, his hands on his hips, and placed a kiss upon his cheek; her lips more delicate against his skin than they'd ever been before. "I hope you find what you're looking for. Whatever that is."
He was upset, and he was frustrated, but he found himself unable to be truly mad at Fallon Walsh for what had to be the hundredth time. "Give my best to Dakota, will ya?"
He watched her nod and send him a look he'd never seen on her features before; it was gentle, and sincere, and there was almost an inkling of a shimmer in her eyes he had not ever seen among their cruel and vile darkness. The boy was right— they weren't the same anymore.
"See ya later, Walsh."
"Oh you will." she grinned confidently, backing slowly out of the tent. "Cockroaches are hard to kill." He chuckled, bringing his hand across his nose as his eyes fell to the ground and snapped back up again. "Bye, Jonny boy." she sent a lazy salute, one that morphed into a playful middle finger as her arm fell back at her side; making him laugh again.
She pivoted on her heel and exited the tent, pulling Bellamy's old coat tighter around her body as she hit the cold air. Silently, she digested a thought she'd found herself pondering many times before.
Would that be the last she'd ever see of John Murphy?
But the girl only chuckled and shook her head as she headed off to Raven and Wick's makeshift shop, where she wasted most of her days at now. For all the times she'd questioned the same thing, he had managed to reappear in her life once again— there was no doubt that this time would be any different.
A/N!
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Fallon's finally becoming a person while Dakota is losing her humanity
How cute😃
TWO QUICK THINGS!!!
a) I think I've mentioned this in comments before and discussed it with some people, but never made it jarringly obvious, so I wanted to officially tell you guys that it is canon that Dakota is autistic: )
b) where are y'all at with the fallon ships? i feel like there were a bunch of mallon shippers in act one and they have all died and become rallon shippers HAHA. there's no right answer I'm just curious!
love u all!! mwah!!
word count 5,045