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'Making someone laugh after they've just finished crying, is one of the most painfully beautiful thing to ever exist.'
~ (via lovelysadness) ~
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Pink Fluffy Clouds and a Stale Cupcake
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Isabelle
Wednesday December 20th
Dear Diary
Today was the last day of school before Christmas break. It was only a half day, but I was still dreading it.
My dad had basically dragged me out of bed, and forced me to change into my clothes. I was mad at him for a little bit, but after he got Milo and I mcdonalds for breakfast, I forgave him.
Milo had a sleepover at my house last night. His parents had an unexpected work thing or something, and so my dad glady said he could stay with us.
Since my twin bed wasn't big enough for both of us, we threw every duvet and blanket we owned on the floor, with pillows and had a butt load of popcorn while watching Tinkerbell. I've practically forced Milo to watch every Disney movie ever, but I think he's finally starting to like them.
Milo and I have had plenty of sleepovers before, but this one just felt different. It wasn't planned, and everything was last minute.
We got to school around 7, when our class started at 7:30. All of the 2nd grade teachers brought their classes into the library to have a christmas party so we all got to be together. Milo, Henry, Noah, Lottie, Violet and I claimed the table in the back as ours and ate all the treats the teachers would allow to our hearts content.
I couldn't help but giggle every time Henry said something towards Lottie because she would blush every time! She definitely has a crush on him. Though I think he has one on her too.
Honestly, I totally ship. I was talking about it to Milo on the drive home today, and he said he agreed with me. My dad then scolded us for talking about our friends behind their backs, but I bet he secretly knew it too.
Oh my gosh, I almost forgot to tell you, today when we all went outside for recess, I was so cold that my teeth were chattering and you know what Milo did? He hugged me until I got warm again!
This might sound a little weird, but he smelt so good. It was like a combination of mint and coconut. I was basically smelling him the whole time we hugged. He only stopped when I stopped shivering.
Lottie and Violet wouldn't let it down when we got back inside, and I assumed that Henry and Noah were doing the same to him.
We played games and split into groups of boys and girls. Overall, it was honestly the best day ever.
I can't wait for Christmas though! I already got Milo his present, and I just know he's going to love it. Well, I hope at least.
I close the very first journal that I ever finished writing, and set it next to the box in my closet. It was early. I'm not sure the exact time because I haven't even opened my phone yet today, but the sun has only just risen.
I just knew that as soon as I was awake, I had to continue reading. I barely remember any of this stuff, and reading it is like opening the floodgates to my childhood.
Apparently it's a thing that if you go through something traumatic, your brain can kinda shut down, and close out memories. It's just crazy to be reading all this stuff again.
It's honestly very therapeutic.
It's been a slow week of working at Mama Hazels, but with it finally Friday–my day off–I intend to go to the beach. I've been aching to go surfing again. Like it's right there and I can't do it.
Lottie and Violet said everyones going down to the beach today anyway, and it's going to be a perfect day to go surfing anyways.
I'm not sure why I woke up so early, maybe anticipation? But whatever it was had me clambering out of bed, and flicking on the closet light switch just to sit inside of it and pull out my journals.
There's countless more. I mean, I had to have written at least 2 a year. It's fascinating to see what my 2nd grade brain thought about my best friends. Reading about all the good times we had? It's funny too, because as I read I could replay the memories in my brain so it was like I was living it all over again.
I don't let my brain get ahead of itself thinking about the last things I wrote in the year I left. I'm not there yet, just slowly reading my way through time. Reading through my childhood.
I think all I can take today was the rest of that journal, so I close the box, flick off the light, and start making my way downstairs.
The sun shines brightly through the big window in the kitchen, exposing our beautiful green backyard. The sun is just barely touching the trees, I admire it for as long as I can. I missed this view. After the sun is completely over the horizon and shining way too brightly for....7am, I read on the clock.
I debate about making anything other than a bowl of cereal, and quickly decide against it, speaking for the fact that I do not want to be cleaning up this house again.
I mean, I just got the stench of alcohol out, I do not need burnt pancakes to add to that.
I take in the silence, and realize that I haven't actually been alone with my thoughts since being home, because of everyone I have been surrounded by.
Don't get me wrong, I love it, but now that I'm actually feeling healthy, and happy, the silence is comforting. I'm not afraid anymore, ya know? Well, at least not constantly. Not everyone is completely perfect, but I'd say I'm completely average now.
With a smile on my face, I eat my cheerios against the window, curling my tiny legs up to my chest. I can't help but feel excited for the day to come.
Yes, I have to put up with Milo, but it's not so bad anymore. It's kind of...dare I say amusing? I giggle to myself at what Milo would say if I told him that. "What are you laughing at?" I jump so far out of my skin, I'm afraid I might've lost a few bones when I hear the familiar voice ask.
More specifically, mom's voice. I'm breathing heavily, resting my hand on my chest as I stare at her wide eyed. Her eyebrow quirked in a questioning, but suspicious way at the same time. "Geez, you scared me mom." I laugh nervously, running my fingers through my tired hair.
Ugh, I need a shower.
"So?" She questions further. I groan, thinking about drawing myself in my cereal bowl, then quickly realizing that's not going to be possible, and stick with a half truth of sorts I can tell her. "I, well, am happy to be back." I blurt. She snorts, and starts brewing herself coffee. "Isabelle." Her stern voice has me gulping for that peaceful morning air I had earlier.
"I'm happy to get back out on the water today?" I try again, rising my voice in a question like tone. Gosh darnit. My cover is blown. "Isabelle Mona." Uh-oh, she used the middle name. "I'm happy to see...Milo?" I whisper, again questioning but not because it's a lie. Because I'm afraid of how she's going to react.
Laughing was not what I expected.
"It's not funny." I mumble, staring at the few remaining cheerios in my bowl. "Sorry, excuse me, but isn't that obvious? I know you miss him, he misses you too honey." My ears perk, but my head stays down. "No he doesn't. He's always arguing with me." Except for earlier this week, but I don't spill that small, vile piece of information.
"That's because he doesn't know how to talk to you anymore. You think he's changed? Look at you Isabelle." I don't move my head, but glance up at her with my eyes to see her leaning against the counter with a mug in hand. "Do tell." She sighs, taking a long sip of her hazelnut roast.
"You've both grown up. He's scared. He's scared to let you in again." I don't blame him. I'm scared too. "Oh." Is all I say though. No confessing today. "You all were planning on going out early today right?" She asks, thankfully changing the subject.
I carry my empty bowl towards the sink, rinse it out, and quickly load it into the empty dishwasher. "Yeah," I sigh. "I should probably start to get ready." Violet and Lottie are picking me up at 8 to get the good morning waves in before all the kids start coming out. Which gives me an hour to get ready.
I head upstairs quickly, hopping into the shower just to wash my body, throwing my hair into a claw clip quickly.
After washing myself, and getting out I change into my baby pink bathing suit Violet got me for my birthday, and throw a strapless dress on over it.
The doorbell rings as soon as I finish sliding on my sandals, and turn the light to my room off. "Bye mom," I called over my shoulder, waiting for her response before walking out the door. "Bye honey." With a small nod to myself, I exit the door quietly and instantly float into an aroma of crazy smells fallowing Violet.
My nose scrunches up in distast as I stop in my tracks to sniff the scent. "What is–" I get cut off by Violets groan and Lotties, 'aha'. "I told you, you smelt weird!" Lottie wags her finger in Violet's face as a way of saying gross. "I know." Violet whines back.
I snort out a laugh, and walk off the small porch as they start walking to the car. "So, you've gotta tell me what happened now." I explain, jumping into the jeep after them.
Violet stays quiet, but luckily Lottie speaks up. "You know how Luna slept over at their house last night?" I nod my head slowly, wondering why that has anything to do with Violet smelling like pink fluffy clouds and a stale cupcake. "Well, she brought over a bunch of her old perfumes; Leo and her sprayed Violet in her sleep." She snickers as I hold back a giggle.
"Why would they even do that?" I ask, chuckling softly to myself. "I don't know!" Violet yells, hitting the steering wheel, and accidently honking the horn. After giving an apologetic wave towards our neighbors she continues talking.
"Ok, well, I do know." This earns another laugh from Lottie. "What did you do?" I ask cautiously. "I accidentally turned all of Leo's white clothes pink in the wash. Including his favorite shorts. And all his underwear." I can't hold it in. I burst out laughing, falling sideways in the back row of seats, slapping my leg as I giggle my butt off.
"Oh my gosh Violet." She groans an "I know," as Lottie joins in on my laughter. "Ok, ok, we're here. You guys can stop laughing now." As soon as the car turns off, Violet jumps out and pulls the boards she had in the back of the car out.
Lottie and I follow behind her, all of us carrying at least one surfboard in our arms. I forgot the way the boards feel in my arms. I missed carrying these heavy bastards.
Not many people are on the beach, so it doesn't take long for me to spot the small group of all our friends. Well, all our friends and more. A twang of something goes off in my stomach, maybe alarm bells, but whatever it is off putting.
There sitting on a beach towel is someone I frankly completely forgot about in the last couple weeks. Ava, basking in the sun, her tan smooth skin way prettier than mine could ever be. I suddenly feel super self conscious and just want to go home. Or preferably, to the other side of the beach.
"Why is she here again?" Lottie whispers between us. This makes me confused. "Ugh, I don't know." Violet grumbles. "Wait, do you guys not like her?" I ask, confused. I thought everyone would've liked her. "No, she's got Milo wrapped around her finger, but we all see through her facade."
I'm still beyond confused, but I don't get to ask anything else because the guys are soon running up to us and taking our boards. I try, really, really hard not to stray my vision from anything lower than Milo's face, and I do succeed...for a little while.
The minute he turns around, I see a perfect line of vision of his toned back, and perfectly plump butt in his bathing suit bottoms. Oh lord have mercy. He has tattoos. I gulp for air through my dry throat, and almost start coughing from my lack of air.
I really need to get this under control.
"You got a little drool there." Noah whispers in my ear, startling me, and a cough finally arises. I sputter, looking over at him with widened eyes.
It's just us now, everyone else has walked back over to our spot. Noah's hand finds my back, patting slowly as he sets the board long ways in the sand, still holding onto the front of it in his hands. "I mean, it is a fine ass, but jesus Isabelle." He laughs, earning an elbow to the ribs.
"What, I was agreeing with you." He exaggerates, but the smirk he has drawn on his face gives it all away. "Don't worry, I stare at it a lot too." He sighs sarcastically, and when I look over at him he's literally staring at Milos butt in the distance.
I slap him upside the head right before he grabs the board and darts off ahead of me. I chase after him, laughing because I can't help it. This is so fun.
He drops the board, and darts for the sea, to which I rip off my dress, kick off my shoes and follow suit. We're only deep enough to where the eaves crash into our knees, but that doesn't stop me from scooping up a load of water and flinging it at him.
He stands there, hands on his hip, water dripping down his chest as he shakes his head. "Now, that wasn't very nice, was it? My sunscreen was definitely not done soaking in yet." I giggle, and then try to run when I realize he's walking towards me.
He reaches me, of course, and bends down to pick me up by the knees. I'm flung over a wet shoulder, a huff leaving my mouth as I start fighting against him. "Noah! Put me down." He pats my calf, but doesn't say anything. I lean up on his back by my hands and see our friends staring at us with anticipation.
Then I realized we were going deeper.
"Noah...I'll buy you ice cream!" I blurt out. To my despair, he does stop, but only to resume a second later with a chuckle. "As tempting as that is, Violets already got dibs for food tonight. Hold your breath." I don't have time to react before I'm being thrown.
I do as told, and hold my breath, my eyes squeezing shut as my body penetrates the water, and my ears are filled with silence. We must not be deep though, because I feel the sand immediately and push off the ground to resurface.
The sun shines brightly in my eyes, as I have to shield it away with my hands when I open my eyes again. Noah is grinning from ear to ear, standing triumph in the water.
I try not to grin, holding my arms over my chest and popping my knee out. The waters up to the top of my torso now, right below my breast, but the waves are softer now, forming more when they get past us.
"I will get you back." He nods his head with a laugh. "Sure ya will." Then his name is being called, and when we look behind him, our friends are walking out to the water.
I take this as my opportunity to body slam him from behind and push him under water. He goes down easily, and I'm not sure if that's because he's being nice or he knew it was me, but either way it makes me smile even bigger.
I stare at our friends for a split second, and wave to them as I sit over a drowning Noah. Well, he's not drowning, I wouldn't let him drown. He wouldn't apparently either, because I'm soon again being flung off his back and into the water again.
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AN: I love Noah and Isabelle's relationship. :))
Literally platonic soulmates.