"Your family fucking hates you!"
"Your job over works you and you just caught me sleeping with one of your closest friends!" My girlfriend of three years screams at me as she lights her cigarette.
I could smell the sweaty smell of ecstasy all around our room. My supposed friend, Mark was lying on my bed with a smile on his face as if this was all funny. Fucking the girl I love, lying, and smiling in my face as I went shopping for an engagement ring.
I felt myself trembling as I ask him," Was our friendship even real?"
My girlfriend scoffs as she laughs saying," Me and Mark have been fucking for a year and a half now." I look back down at her with tears in my eyes," How could you? I was going to propose!"
There was a smile in her eyes that told me she had no care in the world for what I was saying, it was like she wanted to get caught so she could end our relationship.
"August, I would never marry someone like you. You're such a pushover and you let everyone run over you. You don't have any confidence in yourself, and you never want to do anything. You just stay at work for hours and when you do come home, we barely even talk. Mark is the man I truly love, he's everything you're not."
She takes a puff of her cigarette as she walks back over to him and wrap her arms around his neck while putting the cigarette in his mouth. I felt like the world around me was falling apart. Besides from my brother, Ashley has been the only person to actually care for me, but I guess that was all a lie.
I just got home from work, a twelve-hour shift and I come to find this. What a fucking day.
I wipe my tears as I begin to walk over to the closet.
"Leave! I couldn't give two shits! You're just going to go stay with your parents who don't give a shit about you as well. Go on ahead and listen to their stories about how your brother is so much better than you!" She yells as I pack my bags.
Everything she was saying was true. I just never expected to hear it from the woman I loved for three years. I should've figured this would happen when she started staying out late. I got up as I carried my suitcase and looked around the closet, I think I packed everything I owned. I don't buy as much as Ashley does, so it was easy to pack. I come out the closet to see them making out in front of me.
God this hurts. I clenched my fist as I made my way out the house. The house I thought I was going to make a family in.
'I should've done something. Beat the shit out of him or argue back with her but I didn't. Why do I always hold back?' I thought as I drove to my parents' house.
Its humiliating going to stay with someone who 'told you so' when you first introduced your girlfriend to them. They're never going to shut up about this.
After driving for about twenty minutes, I finally arrived at their house. It was way larger than mine since my father owned almost every business around town. I leaned my head back on the seat as I turned off my headlights. My parents must've been alerted I was here as the front door suddenly opened.
Disappointment was plastered on their faces, but I was used to it. Never a loving gaze just always hatred. I sighed as I grabbed my bags.
"Hey mom", I said weakly. She looked at me up and down then scoffed as she went back inside.
"Your brother took a three-hour flight just to have dinner with us yesterday and all he asked was for you to be there and you weren't. God, I don't even know why he got his hopes up. You work so much for a job that doesn't even pay half as much as his. You should've been thrilled when he asked you to come," My father says as he crosses his arms.
I drop my bags on the porch as I lower my head down," I-I'm sorry."
He looks at my bags and asks," What's all this?"
I scratch my head as I look up," Can I stay here for a few nights?"
As much as my father thought of me as a disappointment compared to my younger brother, he was never one to let their kid go homeless.
He rubs his temples as he says," Jesus, I knew you two weren't going to last. How many times has me and your mother tried to warn you about her? But hey, you never seem to listen to us, so I guess this is what you get. You can take your old room upstairs, but you need to provide your own meals. Your twenty fucking seven it's about time you grow up August."
He goes back inside as I say in a low voice," Thanks dad."
I grab my things and make my way up to the third floor. My room was at the lower end of the hall, the smallest room in the house. As I opened the door, the only thing of mine that remained in there was an old bed. I sighed as I dropped my bags and flopped down on it. It's not even the evening and I have to go through all this.
A couple hours went by, and I was woken up by my phone ringing. I took it out and pressed the answer button of my Nokia 2100.
"Hello?" I said tiredly as I laid in bed.
"August! Mom just told me you moved back into your old room. What happened?" The other voice on the line yelled, making me move the phone back.
I sat up and rubbed my face while saying," Angus?"
"Yeah, it's me."
I haven't heard my brother's voice in over eight years since he moved to Wyoming, so It was weird hearing it all of the sudden.
"I'm sorry about dinner yesterday, I was tied up finishing some documents."
"August that's fine, I get it. Now please tell me what's going on," His voice was full of wariness.
A small smile cracked on my face, it felt good being cared for.
"Ashley was cheating on me so I moved out."
There was a pause for a moment.
I got up and went to the bathroom as I said," Well, mom and dad always told me about her, so I guess this was bound to happen."
"Don't listen to them. From day one they never liked her but that doesn't give them the right to talk badly about your relationship. I'm sorry to hear that but why did you move out? Isn't she the one who moved into your house?"
I looked in the mirror as I fixed a strand of hair out of my face," Yeah but I'll let her keep it, I did love her after all."
I could hear him sigh as he said," August she's fucking someone else in the house you saved years' worth of money to buy. Don't just let her have it."
"I know but it's fine, really. I don't want to be alone in a house I thought I was going to make a family in."
"August......, Fine. If that's truly how you feel I understand. I'm just glad you're okay. You are okay right?"
I had bags under my eyes and was really skinny built since I barely ate anymore. I practically looked like a skeleton, I even had black hair to go with the whole depressed look.
"I'm fine baby brother, thanks for asking. Tell Rachel and the kids I said hi," I finally replied.
"Alright but make sure you take care of yourself," he said softly just before hanging up.
I splashed some water on my face and started brushing my teeth. Once I was done, I went downstairs.
As my hand guided down the railing of our circular staircase, I began to reminisce on my childhood. I spent most of it in the house while angus and his friends played outside. My parents didn't care about what I did as long as I stayed out of their way. The pictures on the wall were mostly of Angus. One when he made honors society in the third grade, one when he graduated high school and one when he graduated college.
When I got downstairs, my mom was washing dishes as my father was in the living room reading.
"Mom, do you need help?" I asked while entering the kitchen.
She didn't bother turning back as she said," No."
She began scrubbing the plate even harder. I looked at the stack of dishes that needed to be cleaned and walked over to them.
"Just let me help, I have nothing else to do," I said as I tried to reach for the plate in her hands.
Once my finger brushed against hers, she dropped the plate suddenly. The broken pieces slashed her hands causing her to whimper in pain.
"Mom!" I panicked as I tried to grab her hands.
She quickly smacked my hands away; my father rushed in to see what was going on.
"What did you do to her?" He yelled as he took her bleeding hands into his.
I took a step back and quickly said," N-Nothing! I was just trying to help."
My father placed her hands under warm water and sighed.
"I said I don't need your help August!" She screamed at me.
She continued saying," God, why did you have to come back here? Just because your life turned to shit doesn't mean you can just come here to make ours like yours!"
I blinked away my tears and walked closer to her, seeing this my father stepped in front of her.
I was taller than him, so I looked down at him and asked," Why are you acting like I'll do something bad to her? I'm your son!"
He scoffed saying," Sometimes I wish you weren't. "
"Your mother is right. We don't need you coming here disturbing us with your presence so please just leave."
My breathing hitched as I tried to form words," Why? W-Why do you guys treat me like this? I'm your son! I've done nothing wrong so why do I have to be treated like this? Ever since I was born, all you guys ever done was give me the cold shoulder. I don't care that you acknowledged Angus more than me but why can't you love me just as much as him?"
My mother began crying as she yelled," That's just it! We don't love you! You're fucking sad! You never wanted to hang outside with your brother, you stayed in the shadows during high school, never participated in anything and is horrible when it comes down to handling simple shit. It's like you can't function without someone by your side. It's fucking pathetic August! Why is it that we acknowledge Angus more than you? It's because he's better than you! You'll always just be his shadow, no matter what! He has a great job, family and life! What do you have? What can you give us other than a fucking headache?"
I stood there as she screamed at me as if I wasn't even her son. She never loved me nor did my dad. It was obvious but actually hearing it come out of their mouths fucking sucked. God, I hate my life. Do they think I want to be this way? It's just who I am!
I let my tears run as I simply left the house.
Nowhere to go. Nowhere to call home. Nowhere to be happy.
I took my car keys out of my pocket and tried to start my car, but it didn't work.
"Fucking piece of shit!" I yelled as I slammed my head back on the seat.
Why did I have to be born if I was going to have no one who would actually love me? I just need to go, somewhere far away. That's it. I need to escape my shitty life, that will make me happier.
I tried starting my car again and luckily it turned on.
I turned my head back as I pulled out the driveway, when I looked back, I saw my parents watching me through their bedroom window.
They both looked disgusted. That disgust is what I carried with me my whole life up until now.
Fuck them.