Stale Words

Toxicity Attracts Me

Toxicity attracts me.
I wish it didn't.
I hate toxic people.
And yet I seem to only pick them.
When it comes to friends or dating.
They always end up toxic.
Always hurting me in the end.
Always thinking they're in the right.
Constantly blaming me for everything.
I've been mentally abused for years.
It took me years to even notice.
I'm broken.
The abuse broke me.
I can no longer function properly.
My brain thinks differently.
I react differently.
I respond differently.
The childhood trauma doesn't help.
My mind is very messed up.
My thought process is a jumble.
I get blamed for things I can't control.
I'm sorry I think something is right when it's not.
I'm sorry that's how I was molded.
I'm trying to fix myself.
I say this constantly.
And I mean it every time I say it.
My mind is a mess.
I am constantly screaming internally.
I'm fighting an entire war inside my head.
Alone.
And sometimes alone is best.
I have yet to be drawn to someone not toxic.
Everyone ends up showing their true colors eventually.
Everyone ends up leaving me eventually.
I'm sorry I can't handle how you treat me.
I've been through enough of that in the past.
Why can't people every be genuine or good?
Why can't people mean it when they say they care?
Why must there always be an argument?
Why must toxicity always attract me?