Marshall's P.O.V.
I sit at the After Party for the recent BET awards in New York, and I feel like everything around me is moving in slow motion.
Too many drugs in my system mixed with alcohol maybe, or maybe it's the fact that I'm fucking pissed and am trying my best to control my temper.
Ja Rule is here with his fucking entourage and it takes everything in me not to go up to him and just punch him in the face on sight.
But I know that it's not the place nor the time. Proof keeps telling me so, and I know that he's right. Last thing I need is to end-up in fucking tabloids again.
Especially considering the fact that Kim practically threw a fit about me going to this party once she caught wind that Melody is gonna be there too. I don't know what the fuck is up with her lately, but she literally don't want me so much as in the same room with Melody. She feels more threatened by Mel than she's ever been ever since Ja's shitty ass song for some reason. And the irony of that is that she literally don't got shit to worry about cause Melody don't want me. Like, she literally wants nothing to do with me, so Kim might as well chill.
She won't though, and she pretty much told me that if I went to New York, I would regret it when I got back. To which I just laughed cause this bitch should know better than to try threatening me like this.
Still though, I don't need no drama at home. So I'm trying my best to be cool and behave.
Then Melody walks in with that friend of hers, Tessa or whatever that girl's name is.
I feel a combination of anger and longing.
I wanna just go to her and be a total pussy and try to get her to talk to me.
I also wanna go up to her and just fucking hurt her for what she did.
I haven't talked to her since Ja's song was released cause I just know imma lose it and confront her, but then, technically I have no right to even confront her on that, and I know that.
I fucking left her. For Kim. Again. Something that I promised her I would never do. Nevermind my motives for that, I still fucked-up. And I know that I fucking crushed her with that, so frankly, I really don't got no room to even be pissed at her for fucking with my enemy. At this point, I'm lucky that she didn't marry the motherfucker just to get back at me.
And yet, I am still pissed, and part of me fucking hates her for doing what she did.
But, for the first time in my fucking life, I can't find the words to fucking express myself, so I stayed silent.
I would deal with Ja Rule though.
That motherfucker knew exactly what he was doing when he decided to fuck my fucking girl and then rap about it.
And the thing is, the way he went about it, if I respond back to him now, imma be dissing Melody as well as him, and I don't wanna do that. I've already hurt her enough saying dumb shit about her in my songs out of anger, and I'm fucking done with that. I would never do that to her again.
So I guess I'll have to just beat Ja's ass then. Like literally beat his ass and not just in a song.
But not right now. Not the time nor the place, right? Remember that, Marshall. Get a fucking grip.
Now I'm here with Proof and the rest of the guys. Fifty and G-Unit are also here.
This party is real nice too, but to be honest, after all these years of partying and clubbing whenever I got a chance too, I'm getting kind of tired of this whole scene. Literally the same shit happens at these parties all the time.
Here goes the V.I.P. section, here go all the complimentary drinks, then ridiculously expensive bottles of champagne and other fancy ass liquor. Here go all of the strippers and the groupies. Not that I don't appreciate them, but you know what I'm saying? Too much of the same thing years and years over, and it just doesn't excite you the same, you know what I mean?
Melody doesn't see me yet, but I can clearly tell her eyes are scanning the crowd.
Immediately, my paranoid mind starts playing tricks on me.
Who the fuck is she looking for, who did she come here to meet?!
It has nothing to do with you, Marshall. It's got nothing to do with you. You left her, you've got no right...
I try to reason with myself, but it's too fucking difficult for me to be a reasonable person, and before I know it, my feet are carrying me in her direction.
Her eyes widen slightly when she does see me, and all I can think of is how beautiful she looks and wonder why did she come here looking like this.
Fuck man, I need to stop this shit right now.
"What do you want, Marshall?" Mel immediately asks me with hostility in her voice. The same hostility that is now always lacing her tone whenever she has to talk to me, and I fucking hate that she always talks to me like this now.
"Girl relax, don't be like that," her friend says to her, putting her hand on Melody's shoulder and she just shrugs.
"What, I can't even come say hi to you now?" I blurt out, staring her up and down. I don't mean to get on the defensive, but I can't front, she is kind of pushing my buttons right now.
She is also beautiful, too fucking beautiful, and I just want to say fuck it and try to just get her to leave here with me tonight, right fucking now, because who even cares about whack ass Ja Rule at this point.
Fuck me, I'm losing it again.
"Well, you just said it. Hi. Now bye," Melody says, still scanning the crowd.
"Yo you looking for somebody in here?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.
"Marshall, is my name Kim?" Melody asks me sweetly. Her tone of voice is suddenly light and she actually almost smiles at me as she cocks her head to the side slightly.
"Huh?" I ask in confusion.
"Is. My. Name. Kim?" She asks a lot slower now, and I frown.
"Fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"What it's supposed to mean is that the only way you get to ask me any questions about who I'm here to meet is if my name was Kim and i was your fucking wife. Which I'm not. So mind your business and don't question me," she deadpans, then grabs her friend's hand. Let's go, Tessa."
Before I know it, the both of them walk away from me, and I swear I'm standing there contemplating letting the mean side of me to come out, but then I'm also contemplating my life choices that brought me to this point, and I suddenly find myself rooted to the spot.
"Damn dawg, that was brutal," Fifty comes over to me laughing with a glass in his hand. "Here, you might need this more than me right now."
"Fuck this," I say and throw back whatever was in the glass, I barely even taste the liquor. "And fuck this bitch," I mumble, trying to front like what just happened ain't affect me.
"Ja is here," Fifty says quietly. Unlike Proof, he was kind of encouraging me to deal with the disrespectful motherfucker ASAP, but I'm guessing part of it is cause he kinda just wanna jump in on it himself.
"Fuck that motherfucker," I say through gritted teeth. "He can have the dumb hoe for all I care."
"Are you sure about that man? Cause he's literally all over her now," Fifty says and my head snaps towards what he's pointing at.
All I see is Melody standing talking to Ja, and that's enough for me to see red. I don't even pick up in this moment at the fact that she seems to be going off on him, I just wanna fuck up the both of them.
I start to make my way over there, just as Melody starts walking away from Ja but he catches up to her and throws his arm over her shoulder.
Which causes her to suddenly turn in his direction and slap the shit out of him.
Fuck...
It dawns on me that the only reason she was probably talking to him just now was cause she wanted to confront him about that damn song. I mean, if I was pissed about it, I can only imagine how she must feel.
I've forgotten how impulsive this girl could get at times. And how she doesn't think when she's hurt. How her temper could be just as bad as mine when she feels like somebody has crossed her line.
And how she always gets hurt when she does this.
In return to her slapping him, Ja Rule backhands her, causing her to stumble back, and I don't remember much after that.
It's all in bits and pieces, cause I fucking blacked out.
I think I walked up to Melody, helping her off the floor, and she was actually trying to get away from me. I remember grabbing lightly at her chin and tilting her face up to examine the damage done to her face, then just pushing her behind me and swinging at Ja Rule.
Then, I think Proof and Fifty jumped in, pulling me away from him.
Then Fifty got in Ja Rule's face, as he obviously hates the guy too, but for his own reasons, and this whole shit to him was a pretty damn good excuse for him to fight the motherfucker as well. So Fifty swung at him too.
Then Ja's people jumped in.
Then the whole G-Unit jumped in.
Then, I think I tried to jump in as well, but Melody was at my back, pulling at my arm.
Only for fucking Ja Rule to get at me then and sucker punch me square in the face.
I can't front, he caught me off guard with that.
Somehow, I ended-up being knocked off my feet and Ja tried to kick me while I was laying on the floor.
Only for Melody to jump at his back.
And that's when he turned slightly towards her and hit her in the face with his elbow.
Then I watch in slow motion as Mel stumbles backwards and loses her balance and falls, back of her head hitting the nearest table.
Then it's all a blur again.
I remember coming to see her at the hospital.
She's okay.
Doctors are telling me it's nothing but a concussion.
I remember coming to see her at the hospital room and just talking to her.
I think I've messed-up again, because the way I spoke to her, I might've as well told her I still loved her, something I ain't never suppose to do again.
Only for her to tell me to go back home to Kim again.
She seems to love throwing that line in my face these days. Marshall, go back home to Kim. Doesn't she realize what it does to me when she says that to me?! I feel like there's literally no hope for us if she could just send be back to Kim like that, and it fucking kills me.
And now here I am getting off the plane back in Detroit.
My bodyguard comes to pick me up and he drives me to my house.
My phone buzzes with a text from my little brother, Nate.
Nate is currently staying at the house with me.
Well, he's been staying with me this whole time, actually, ever since my dumb ass bitch of a mother lost custody of him and I had to adopt her.
But Nate, being a half way grown teenager and all, he is barely ever actually there.
Always either hanging out with friends or laid up with his girlfriend, which I can't even blame him for.
I pretty much let him live his life, as long as he doesn't cross any major lines.
But today, he is home, apparently.
He knows exactly what is going on there too, as he now frantically texts me.
Man where u at? Kim is bugging the fuck out in here.
I frown at his text, as I'm not exactly 100% sure what he means.
Then, I step foot inside my house, and I find out.
Everything inside is destroyed.
Like every fucking thing, and Kim just continues to throw shit around as my brother is trying to stop her.
"KIM, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I bellow, walking through the door.