He had been trying to quiet the voice in his head for a while now that told him he needed to break up with Ashley. But it had been getting steadily louder and louder. Putting aside his feelings for Lucy, which he wasn't willing to admit existed in the first place, he knew that he had almost crossed the line with her and been unfaithful to Ashley after their undercover experience.
When Lucy had invited him in to her apartment, taking a deep breath before quietly asking him in, he had immediately blurted out "I shouldn't." It was the only thing he could think to say at the moment since "I don't want to" would certainly have been a lie. But as she kept eye contact with him as she stood by her open door, he knew he couldn't resist her. Everything he had ever wanted was inside that apartment and if they hadn't discovered Chris, bleeding out on the sofa, he knew what would've happened between them.
Tim was not a cheater. After growing up with his father he prided himself on being the kind of man who would never cheat on or hurt a woman. But that night with Lucy he hadn't been able to stop himself. That alone told him that the right thing to do was to end things with Ashley.
"We need to talk," he said, taking a deep breath.
Across the table Ashley looked taken aback at the sudden change of topic, but not entirely surprised. "I've been waiting for this," she said quietly.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Things had been if not great than at least solidly fine with them lately. And despite all his self-flagellation about being an almost cheater he hadn't known he was going to break up with her until he started doing it.
"It's Lucy, isn't it?" Ashley's tone wasn't accusatory or even angry, more than anything she just sounded resigned.
"Lucy!" he exclaimed, "She has nothing to do with us. I told you she was going to undercover school."
"Tim," said Ashley, tiredly, "it's Lucy. The whole time we've been together it always has been."
All Tim could manage was an "Ashley, I'm so sorry," before she was grabbing her purse and standing up.
She leaned down to kiss his cheek and said "I hope after all of this you're at least able to tell her how you feel."
Tim went home that night repeating his new rules over and over. Be normal. Forget about undercover. Don't think about Lucy.
The last one was getting harder and harder to follow.