Razi had simply made herself bacon, eggs and toast. She stared at the food. Poking at it with her food. Thoughts flooded her mind. Such as Is it really his spirit? Razi finally started to eat her food. As she was washing the dishes she realized that there was so much she had to say to Brahms. She began to think how this might be her chance.
Razi dried her hands and slowly made her way upstairs. She felt a bit uneasy this time. She went and grabbed the doll, bringing it downstairs. She set it in a chair once more and once again Razi sat down across from it.
"If it really is you Brahms," Razi sighs, "There's so... so much I have to tell you."
Razi stared at the doll. Examining it once again. The cracks along its face. How much it looked like her dead friend. Similar clothes to what he used to wear. The hair the same as his. It was literally the doll version of Brahms.
"My family moved to America. Its beautiful over there. A shame seeing as the people are usually giant dicks." Razi crosses her arms slightly, "I got a younger brother. His name is Damien."
Razi flinched slightly as if she remembered something scary. Something traumatic.
"I never fit in over in America. Sure the adults liked me. People my age sure didn't. I was the weird quiet kid they could bully. They seemed to enjoy that.." Razi shifted her arms and with her left hand she grabbed her upper right arm, "They started by picking on me for being English. Once they found out about.....what happened.."
Razi paused and gulped. She remembered the pain she felt from the bullies. Emotional and physical.
"They would take a lighter and hold it to my arm. Over time it gave me third degree burns on my arm. They wouldn't even wait for it to heal." She scoffs.
A moment of silence fell upon the house.
"What I'm trying to get at, Brahms, is that my life wasn't bright after that day. I just wish I could have saved you. I could have saved you." Razi stood up in frustration, "I WAS RIGHT THERE! GOD!"
Razi turned around and punched the wall, breaking it. Razi moved her hand away from the wall. There was a hole the size of her fist. She stared at the hole for a moment before turning around.
"I envisioned myself saving you almost every day. I thought it through bit by bit, detail by detail. Sometimes I feel like I deserved getting bullied, everything." Razi said.
Her hand began to sting. She looked down at her fist. It was cut open slightly. She sighs for this wasn't the first time she has done something like that. She then left to go bandage it up. The doll slid in the chair to the side, its head resting on the arm of the chair.
Razi went back downstairs after bandaging up her hand. This time she completely ignored the doll. Razi grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with water. She took a sip from the glass. She leaned up against the counter. Razi appeared to be lost in thought. Eventually she blinked, snapping herself out of it.
She figured she had enough for today. So she dumped the water and set the glass in the sink. Razi went to her room, completely forgetting the doll once more. Razi got into bed and fell asleep.