3rd person POV:
They had been sitting in silence for a few minutes as jungkook leaned back on the couch opening his top button a little because of the hotness and thought about something but the pain in his ass was bothering him so much reminding him of the same thing all the time.
He gulped a little before he nodded his head to himself and turned his head towards taehyung who had removed his jacket as well and loosened his tie a little.
"Now that we are finally talking and everything is out in the open. Should we just talk about this as well?" Jungkook questioned seriously startling taehyung who was nervous about this topic for some reason but nodded nonetheless.
"What do you want to talk about this?" Taehyung asked as he leaned back on the couch as well.. a bit tired after the day.
"Well.. we had sex for the first thing. And thankfully none of us cheated on anyone even when we thought we did." Jungkook pointed out the obvious and taehyung nodded again.
"We did have sex.. that's right. Both were drunk so we didn't know what we were doing." Taehyung responded as he shrugged his shoulders.
"I know we were drunk.. what i mean is. Now that we are single with no significant others.. did it mean anything to you? Or was it just a one night stand with your ex for you?" Jungkook asked sternly as he bit his bottom lip in nervousness for the elder's answer. He would definitely be just a little hurt if he does say that he was a one night stand.
"It wasn't a one night stand for me for sure. And it definitely meant more than just sex with my ex for me. I am not expecting anything in the future.. but yeah.. it's not something i will forget easily." Taehyung answered truthfully.
"Thank god. It wasn't a one night stand for me either. I have never have those any ways. And it did mean something to me too. I won't be able to forget it either." Jungkook admitted right away as he said the first words under his breath and sighed in relief.
"What are we now jungkook? Boss and employee who were exes and fucked once again?" Taehyung deadpanned as he tilted his head.
Jungkook scoffed as he shook his head.." sounds about correct to me." He said playing along with the elder.
"We could be friends if you agree though." Taehyung suggested seriously.
"Not really. I don't think i could be friends with you. Last time we were friends was.. 20 years ago? We got together at the age of 14 and 15 i guess. So i don't think i could get used to that after so long.
And i don't think it would be appropriate for me to have a friend who i have loved for so long.. and still do.. and a friend who was once my fiance and whom i almost had children with? Like what.. i don't think that's possible to be 'just friends' with you without thinking all those things." Jungkook voiced out his thoughts without hesitation as he huffed dryly at his own words as he remembered about everything.
"Almost had children with? Even if we got married.. i don't think we would have adopted so soon because of our careers." Taehyung said just talking about that part.
"Why would we need to adopt? And i meant what i said.. 'i almost had children with'." Jungkook questioned as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Well you see you are a man and so am i. So it's either surrogacy or adoption. And almost where? We didn't even plan about having children that time.. we were childlike ourselves to think of our own." Taehyung said shaking his head at the younger who still looked confused.
"What are you talking about? I know we aren't close anymore and i am your ex but how could you forget such a special thing." Jungkook said as he looked down in his lap as he licked his bottom lip.
"Forget what? I don't understand.. elaborate." Taehyung asked as he looked at the almost gloomy exterior of the younger.
"I am a special male.. a carrier. I have the ability to get pregnant.. how could you forget that." Jungkook uttered in a low voice with glossy eyes.
Taehyung narrowed his eyes as he looked at the younger as in 'what the fuck are you talking about'.. "i still don't understand. I don't know anything about this.. you have never told me about this. I might be 35 year old but i can remember every single thing like it was yesterday. I really don't think you have told me such a thing before.
We were with each other for 10 years aa boyfriends then finances.. how come I don't know about this?" Taehyung asked him as he placed two fingers on his temple and pressed them to remember such a thing being told to him.
"You have to be joking now hyung. You seriously have to be joking. I know it was a few months before we broke up and you were on a world tour that time and i couldn't come but i was told by your agency that you are aware of everything and will be returning right away after your concerts are done. And now you are saying that you never knew about it?" Jungkook said as his eyes looked ready to bulge out and were filled with unshed tears as lines formed on his forehead.
Taehyung took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down before he turns back to jungkook as he said.."calm down first jungkook. i am literally not aware of anything you are talking about.. so please explain to me what is it. I don't remember anything that my company might have told me and i didn't remember from any world tour prior time either." Taehyung said as his hands itch to rub circles on the younger's back and hug him tightly with the way he has been looking so small right now.
Jungkook looked down in his lap aa he exhaled deeply before he looked up at the elder and blinked away his tears.
"I.. was pregnant with your child 10 years ago. That's when I found out about me being a carrier." Jungkook told him as he took a shaky breath after thinking about that.
Taehyung's eyes widened immensely as he heard that and automatically stood up from where he had been sitting.."ar-are you serious?" He stuttered as he gulped harshly.
"I wouldn't dare joke about such an important thing." Jungkook said sternly as he stood up infront of him as well as he sniffled lightly.
"Where is the ch-child?" Taehyung asked in shock as he bit his bottom lip.
"Was never born. I aborted the child when I found out about it." Jungkook answered guiltyly as he looked down on the floor.. not being able to look at the elder in lie.
"What the fuck do you mean you aborted it? Firstly you say that you can get pregnant even as a male then that you were pregnant with my child.. and now that you aborted it without telling me even when I was the father of the child. And i am knowing about this 10 years later? When we aren't together anymore?" Taehyung said in a calm voice as he breathed harshly to control himself from using loud voice.
"I am saying the truth. I did abort the child without your knowledge. I did actually tell you from my side but the information never reached you." Jungkook said with a straight face as he looked away from him.
Taehyung took a shaky deep breath as he sat down and didn't hesitate to pull jungkook beside him.
"Don't tells me these vague information and tell me everything in detail.. every single thing." Taehyung said sternly as he balled his fist beside him in frustration.
"It was 10 years ago.. and it happened already. Nothing can be changed now.. and we aren't even together anymore. Why are we talking about this now? Does it even matter right now?" Jungkook said as he looked down the whole time instead.
"Jungkook you are literally telling me that I was going to be a father for fucks sake. Even if it's in this circumstances it fucking matters to me much more than you think. Just tell me everything in details and shut the fuck up about anything else. Don't piss me off." Taehyung said through gritted teeth.
"You can't talk to me like that taehyung. Beside all this i am still your boss.. the one you work under." Jungkook said to him when he heard the elder cursing like that.
"Does it look like i care? I am not talking to any boss of mine right now but to my fucking ex who i have loved like no tomorrow." Taehyung seethed at him with angry eyes.
"Then fucking listen and stop being angry. I shouldn't have said that even as a joke.. it would have been better that way." Jungkook said as he got annoyed by the elder getting angry at him.
"Tell me.. i am listening." Taehyung said as he leaned back.. feeling himself being a little too close to the younger as they sat together.
Jungkook nodded as he cleared his throat before he started.."10 years ago.. a few months before our break up when you were on a world tour.
It was around 1 months later you had left.. when i fell sick.. kind of pregnancy like symptoms.. like weight put on, or dizziness, throwing up, morning sickness, change of appetite and sleep, or mood swings etc.. so i fainted one day in our apartment and i was all alone.
I don't know when i woke up but right when i did.. i called doctor right away and they told me that i might be pregnant so they ran tests and gave me the information that i was actually pregnant.. and i was almost 2 months into the pregnancy." Jungkook took a pause as he started explaining about everything while he avoided eyes with the elder who had been listening intently with his hands still clenched.
"That was when the rumours had started about you having a 'girlfriend' because of that sasaeng who had threatened to kill me and you because of it in your concert and had even posted that picture of that gun she had with her.
your phone was taken away from you because of that even when you were travelling overseas so i didn't have any medium to contact you.
I wouldn't lie.. when i found out about it, i was really really happy and the thoughts about that sasaeng were thrown out of my mind when i found about that.
Right after i got the news from hospital, i drove straight to your company instead to somehow get in contact with your managers or anyone so i can tell about this to you.
I wasn't thinking of anything else other than starting a happy family with you even if it will be in secret. No one in the company was aware about your relationship either.. those were aware were with you overseas.
So.. Choi was the only one aware about us being together so i booked an urgent appointment with Choi himself that maybe he could give me any of your manager's information or anything." Jungkook explained further as he looked up at the ceiling to hold back his tears to not fall weak in front of the actor before he started again.
"He didn't give me anybody's number.. but i don't know how.. he somehow saw the pregnancy reports i had with myself along with ultrasounds of the baby.
Then he told me things like.. it's better if i don't tell you and you dont know about it. I should abort it.. it's better if i don't bring the child into this world and it will only be a burden and cause problems only.
You weren't that big in the industry how you are now at that time.. you were medium.. you were popular but not that popular that even if you come out your career won't be much affected about it.
So he told me that if i tell you about the child, since it's your own blood.. you will keep it obviously and one day or another.. the news about your secret family will get out which will harm your career and reputation.
Your career will be ruined before it even starts fully.. so it's better not to keep it. He manipulated (?) Me into getting an abortion.. and that it can't affect you if you don't know about it." Jungkook told taehyung who's eyes were glossy as he looked down in his lap now.
"I believed what he said.. and even when i wanted to keep it.. and was extremely happy with it.. i a-aborted the baby.. all alone.. without informing you.
Once I was healed from it after a few weeks.. i went back to your company again.. to somehow get in contact with you.. and tell you every single thing and apologise about it.
But i couldn't get in contact with you again.. so Choi told me that he takes the responsibility to tell you about it. I believed him.. you know how i was back then.
I did what i thought was right at that time.. even when i was 24.. i was extremely dependant on you.. i didn't know what to do and how to do.. so i believed what people made me believe.. and did what they asked me to do.
I am s-sorry i was like that. I know you deserved to know but it can't be changed now.. you should have known that you were about to be a father of our child and that i could carry children.
I shouldn't have trusted Choi when i had an idea of how he was. But he was right as well.. your career mattered.. that child would have held you back from so many things if they were born.. you wouldn't have been where you are right now." Jungkook muttered in a hoarse voice as he leaned back on the couch and wiped his eyes from which tears were dripping down his cheeks even when he was trying to stop them.
"That's it.. now you know it.. and i apologised. You can forgive me if you want and if you don't want to.. then don't think much about it.. it could have affected you.. but it didn't.. and now it's not changing anything either." Jungkook said as he sniffled while he just let the tears flow down as they weren't stopping from him anyways.
"Career career career.. this career was supposed to make my life.. not ruin it. I lost you to career first.. now i am getting to know that i lost a child as well.. i was about to become a father and i never knew about it and you had to sacrifice your happiness because of my career?
Just how much more am i going to lose to it? And you had to deal with that torment all alone because of that and i couldn't even emotionally support you.. and i thought i was a good boyfriend at that time.
And right when we could have talked about it, could have mourned about it together.. we broke up because of that sasaeng and your father and your brother getting in a car accident.
I can't even blame you for it.. the only one to blame here is me. It would have been much much much better if i just didn't choose this career. It would have saved you from getting so much pain in the past because of me." Taehyung muttered in a low voice as he wiped his own eyes.
"You shouldn't be the only one saying sorry here.. i should be sorry too. I got you into all that mess that time.. i joined that company so you joined with me even when you got many offers from much bigger companies. Only if Choi never knew about you.. it would have been so much easier.. i am sorry and i don't think all i have done to you is forgivable." Taehyung apologised as he looked into the younger's eyes who shook his head.
"You were just following your dream, you just wanted to follow your passion.. and that's what you did and succeeded in it.
It isn't your fault that Choi did all those things to me.. to us. And when you are in the field we are in right now.. sasaengs and death threats are expected.. we should have known the problems we will face when we continue our relationship.
Sure we couldn't have known about the pregnancy thing or the accident.. but others should have been expected. We didn't give much thought to it when we continued to date in private for years." Jungkook muttered as he hesitantly lifted his hand and placed it on the elder's arm who leaned into it.
"But i would have ruined your life so badly if it wasnt for the break up where you picked yourself up and came out stronger than ever.. you don't know how guilty I have felt all these years.. and now the guilt of losing the chance of having a family is added up on it because of my career. I don't know what to think of everything jungkook-ah." Taehyung voiced out his feelings as he turned his head towards him and wiped his eyes again.
"Hyungie.. i shouldn't have told you about it. It would have been much better for you. I have kept this inside me for so long.. and i should have kept it to myself now too." Jungkook blurted as he felt guilty for the elder feeling like that.
Taehyung looked around for a second before he nodded his head to himself and exhaled deeply before he took the courage to place his arms around the younger and hugged him.
"Don't cry.. it's been a long time now. It's alright.. you don't need to be guilty for anything too. I am glad that i know now. And you told me that you did your part.. none of this is your or mine fault but that Choi and that sasaeng's fault." Taehyung said as he felt the younger relaxing in his hold and hugging him back.
"It was 10 years ago but i can never forget those feelings and that pain." Jungkook sniffled as he buried his head in the elder's shoulder who rubbed his back constantly with one hand and ran his fingers through his hair with other other.
"I wish I was there was you at that time." Taehyung whispered to him as he pulled the younger closer.
"It's alright now. My life is better now. Don't be guilty about it.. about the things that happened already and can't be changed." Jungkook whispered back as he hugged the elder tightly to feel the warmth of the man closer to himself after 10 years in consciousness.
I missed you so much.. i love you.
Both had wanted to confess to each other but didn't considering it was too soon and it had been just 3 days since they met again.
But they were glad that atleast everything was out in the open and they finally got a chance to talk about it.
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That's it for this chapter.
The conversation was a lot longer than I expected but i wanted to get everything out already as it had been 21 chapters already.
I revealed their past and the reason they got seperated as well.
Now we can focus on the present development of their relationship and the so called hurdles that will be there in their relationship.. and as i said.. it's gonna get clichè very soon lol.
Till next time...~~