Everything is a hopeless abyss, and here is Oliver Queen, floating in it. It has been two years, six months, three weeks, six days, ten hours, five minutes, and thirty-one seconds since Barry Allen disappeared off the face of the earth.
He vanished after a mission and never returned. They searched for months, held out hope as long as they could, until they had to give up, move on. Barry was gone, untraceable. They couldn't find him, so they had to do the one thing Oliver had made them promise not to do: declare Barry dead.
When they had, Oliver had simply crossed his arms, shutting his eyes in disbelief before storming out of STAR labs. He had been through so much hell in his life already, and he finally found the one thing—the someone—that was his light: Barry.
But as always, things had been too good to be true. His light had been ripped away from him. It was heart wrenching, and he wanted to just spiral out of control, lose himself to alcohol or drugs or whatever.
He didn't, though, because that's not what Barry would want. Barry would want him to lead, to use his disappearance as a motivator to keep going, keep running.
That's what he did.
After one week of grieving, he pulls himself up off of his couch in his and Barry's shared apartment and dresses. He returns to work that day, updating himself on the current projects. After he had finished that and signed off on everything, he calls a meeting with the board of directors and make a motion to develop a way to find the people that can't be found.
If he couldn't have Barry back, he could at least make sure that someone else got their missing person back.
As the Arrow, he combines both Team Flash and his own team, so they could keep both cities safe. He wasn't about to let Central City—Barry's home—descend into chaos without the Flash.
When asked about the Flash's disappearance, they give an excuse. After a while, they asked Jay Garrick to do a run-by with Wally to keep the citizens convinced the Flash was still out there.
He settles into a routine of this: work, save the cities, eat, train, etc.
Everything follows that schedule, except for the one day a month he went to Barry's grave. That was a day meant for mourning, the only time he allows himself to be sad.
There was a still that faint glimmer of hope that remains every time he falls asleep that when he woke up, Barry will be there next to him, curled into his side.
Each morning that hope is shattered.
He didn't really allow himself to move on, the teams know that. They know he still has all of Barry's things, that he sleeps on Barry's side of the bed, and smells his clothes and cologne.
Felicity and Diggle pester him to try dating again, try to move on.
He refuses firmly each time. Barry is his one, his soulmate, his other half. There is no moving on.
Every time someone says to him in a huff about how he was coping: "that's not what Barry would want," he simply stares at them, pursing his lips.
What did they know?
Yes, Barry would want him to be happy, but he also understood the impact that he'd had on Oliver.
It wasn't until Iris and Joe actually sat him down one night, which was surprising because they both have been in similar states since Barry vanished.
"Oliver," Joe said. "You have to let go, we all do."
Oliver stared at him.
"This isn't healthy, we're all holding on too tight, too long. It's suffocating us and we're not living," Iris added. "We need to try."
"You're asking me to throw everything I remember about him away?" Oliver shouted. "How could you do that?"
"No, we're not," Iris corrected quickly. "We're not asking you to forget him or anything of that sort, we're asking you to pull yourself up and actually live. Truly honor his memory."
Oliver finally just collapsed into their arms.
They were right.
He pushes himself back into being social again, trying to find that missing happiness. It didn't come quickly, but it starts to feel more normal. The ache does not go away, but it lessens.
He feels that he can finally breathe without this massive pain holding him down.
One day, however, something is terribly wrong. Both cities are in chaos, people were terrified.
They work to stop the threat, and manage to capture the person behind it.
This woman comes so easily, so smugly, that Oliver is questioning if she was planning something.
Cisco, Caitlin, and Diggle stand with him in front of her cell as they interrogate her.
She just smiled, sliding down into a sitting position on the floor, folding her hands across her lap.
"Mr. Queen," she says softly, her voice silky as she moves a piece of her dark brown hair. "I'm simply a messenger, a guide if you will. I have been sent here to tell that Barry Allen is in fact alive. I have been instructed to take you to him."
Oliver feels his gut wrench and his heart stop. No, she had to be lying. "That isn't true, Barry Allen is dead."
She shakes her head, pushing herself into standing position. "No, you're wrong. Mr. Allen is in fact alive."
"We would have found him by now if he was," Diggle says gruffly, placing a hand on Oliver's shoulder. "She's trying to get in your head, man."
Cisco nods. "She obviously knows that any information regarding Barry would rattle us."
The woman simply sighs. "Believe what you might, Mr. Ramon, but I am telling the truth. If you don't believe me, let me out and I'll show you."
"She's trying to get in our heads so we'll do what she wants," Caitlin says, turning to them. Her eyes turn frosty. "I recommend we go now."
Oliver steps forward, opening the door to the cell.
"Oliver-"
"You will show us Barry's location and then lead us there. If you are lying or trying to trick us, I will not hesitate to break my no killing rule. Understood?"
The woman nods shakily, walking slowly as they led her to the Cortex. She tells something to Cisco, who follows whatever she said, typing it in the monitors.
After a few seconds, the monitors beep, zooming in on a secluded area in the northern hemisphere, showing Barry's speed force signature.
"There you are, my dears," the woman says, clasping her hands together. "Barry Allen's location."
Oliver bites his lip. "Suit up, we've got a speedster to save."
~
Barry is an unconscious form in front of them.
His hair is still short and his face is well-shaven, but he's thinner than Oliver remembered. Wherever they were had certainly taken its toll on the speedster.
Quickly instructing Diggle to pick Barry up and for Cisco to breach them all home, Oliver tightens his grip on his bow as he keeps his eyes well trained on Barry. He's afraid the speedster will evaporate into thin air any second.
As soon as they return to STAR labs, Caitlin kicks them out of the med bay and starts running tests.
The woman—her name is Cass, he believed— stands in the exit with Cisco, talking in hushed tones.
Oliver makes his way over to her. "Thank you for bringing us to him," he says, outstretching a hand.
She shakes it eagerly, but her smile quickly fell as her gaze flickers over to the med bay. "You're welcome, Mr. Queen. Just a friendly warning, that may look like Barry Allen, but he's not as you remember. Whoever had him probably subjected him to pain and torture. It has probably taken a toll on him mentally as well, he could've even been conditioned against you. Be cautious. If you need, I'll be there. But for now, I need to go track down the group that took him and teach them a thing or two."
Oliver smiles. "Good luck."
Cisco opens a breach and tells Cass goodbye.
She hops through the breach just before it closes, leaving them alone. They turn back to see the door to the med bay opening, revealing Caitlin.
"I have some news," she says.
~
The first time Barry wakes up, he's disoriented, mumbling incoherent nonsense.
Oliver takes the opportunity to gaze at his lover, his sunken cheeks, the bags under his eyes, his messy brown hair.
His lightning sparks around him when Oliver gets close. Those blue-green eyes meet Oliver's as his hand clasps around the speedster's. They're open and seeing, just not seeing reality.
Then he slips away into unconsciousness again, leaving Oliver alone.
~
Caitlin explained to them that Barry had been subjected to several forms of torture, given to his scars and bruising. His speed healing had done the best it could, but from what she can tell, his captors had slowed it down.
The next time Barry wakes, he's in reality. His eyes meet Oliver's again, but there's something there that looks dead. The spark of joy that used to be there, the electricity that seemed to ooze out of them is gone.
Oliver squeezes his hand as Barry gingerly reaches out.
Barry spends at least three weeks in the med bay under observation. Caitlin flushes out his system and starts to rebuild his strength. Barry simply allows her to do what she needed, staring off into space, almost lost in thought, vacant from reality.
~
When Oliver finally takes Barry home, it feels like a dream. He couldn't believe it was happening.
He talks to Barry, holds him close. Barry simply stares back, lips curved slightly upwards. The dead look is still present. Oliver walks on eggshells about the subject of Barry's abduction, instead allowing Barry to lead.
They slowly get reacquainted with one another, and things start to return to normal. Barry re-enters the world and the dead look vanishes. The topic about the abduction is still off-limits, and they know little to nothing about what happened to him. They know he was tortured, but any time it's brought up, Barry shuts down.
Barry seems to be happy, doing his work as a CSI and spending loads of time with his friends. He has yet to return to be being the Flash, but that's okay. After whatever he's been through, there's no rush.
~
Months pass, and Barry is healthy and talking more about what he went through. It's just simple things, only one per time. Oliver tries to comfort him in any way he can.
Barry assists them on missions from the Cortex, but he never looks at the suit, never offers to go out into the field.
Only after they've returned from a particular dark mission does Oliver realize that he hasn't seen Barry once use his speed since he's returned.
Barry walked everywhere, he took his time doing everything.
Oliver asks Barry about it one night, and Barry simply looks at him, eyes flashing that dead look again. "Why would I want to do that?"
It confuses Oliver to see Barry like this, but something must have happened that made it a problem for him to use his speed.
He asks Caitlin to run some tests to make sure that everything with Barry's speed is fine. "It is," Caitlin tells him, "he's never been healthier."
Finally, Barry agrees to put on the suit at Oliver's insistence. He slips into it, and it fits perfectly.
Everything feels like the good old day, except it's not.
Barry does as he's instructed on the mission, never offering his own opinion or thoughts. He simply stands there and acts as needed.
When a massive explosion occurs, he freezes, the lightning stopping from where it's been appearing. He goes completely stoic before collapsing.
Oliver pulls him out of there, realizing what Barry had just experienced.
He forces Barry to tell him, and Barry comes clean about everything. The captors had messed with his head a bit and made him fearful of using his powers.
They'd conditioned responses into his brain should he choose to use it. Oliver felt himself quaking with anger before pulling Barry into his arms.
"We'll get through this."
~
Therapy follows, and Barry makes a lot of progress, slowly recuperating.
He's still tentative about his speed, but he's using it more frequently now. He's more joyful than ever, pushing buttons and talking like a nerd again.
Oliver knows they still have a way to go, and that's fine. They're together, and that's all that matters.
One night, they're dancing together in their apartment, swaying to the music that Barry had selected.
"I'm glad you came home to me," Oliver whispers in Barry's ear.
"I always will," Barry promises, sealing it with a gentle press of their lips together. "You're my lightning rod, Oliver, and I love you."
Oliver brushes a hand across Barry's cheek. "You're my light, Barry. I love you, too."
They pull apart, moving towards the windows where the sky full of stars awaits them.
"We're together, and I'm never letting you go, ever again," Oliver says, taking the speedster's hand.
Barry grins. "The universe is just going to have to step up its game if it wants to rip us apart again." He yanks Oliver into his arms, crashing their lips together again. "Next time, show me a sunset."
"Okay, does tomorrow work?"
"We've got all the time we need."
~