Troye's been gone for four days now. out of 96 hours of possible sleep, I've only got 16 hours. I couldn't sleep with the thought of people attacking me, like a month ago, again. The fact that people hurt others on something as being yourself.
Most of my viewers accepted me. the ones that didn't left hurtful remarks before unsubscribing. I try not to let these things get to me, but this time they weren't just making fun of me. they were making fun of my boyfriend, some of my closest friends, and a whole community of people. things like that makes my blood boil with anger.
Troye and I have texted the last few days, but I haven't seen him without looking at my lock screen or heard his voice without watching old videos. he apologizes for it, but I tell him ' your on a business trip. you have to do business.'
My phone started ringing and I walked into the living room to answer it.
' Troye boy mellet requesting FaceTime'
My eyes lit up and I smiled while clicking accept. he smiled once he saw I answered which made my heart flutter.
" hey conn." he said softly.
" hey troye boy." I yawned.
" how was your day?" He asked, tilting his head to the left.
" good, but better now." I said.
" how is the album coming along?" I asked.
" great actually. I've recorded a song for a collaboration called ' papercut'. I really like it's sound." he said smiling.
His hair was hanging in front of his bright crystal blue eyes which sparkled as he talked. I took this little moment in time to appreciate all his unchanging features. his curly brown hair. His smile. his birthmark. his dimples.
" Connor, are you ok?" Troye asked concerned.
" what? Oh yeah. I'm fine." I yawned a reply.
" why don't you go to sleep?" He asked, knowing my problem.
" I can't go to sleep. I'm not tired." I said, which was true.
" well, I'll stay on the phone till you do feel tired and wait for you to go sleep. ok?" He said as he gave a classic smile then wink.
I smiled and went back to my bedroom. I slipped off my button-up shirt and put on Troyes sweatshirt since I need something that felt like him since it was his.
I walked back on camera and Troye smiled. he bit his bottom lip and starred at me intensely.
" troye, you ok?" I asked.
" yeah, you just look really really good in my sweatshirt." he said.
" hey. I didn't wear it for you. I wore it for me. it makes it feel like your giving me a hug even though you're there and I'm here." I said, fixing my bed.
" can you get any cheesier?" He asked me.
" nope." I said with a smile.
" you're such a dork!" He yelled.
" but I'm your dork." I said, slipping under the covers.
The next hour and a half was filled with troye editing his next video while I starred at the screen till it became harder and harder to keep my eyes open. I finally rested them and I heard troye whisper something as I was drifting fast asleep.
' night conn conn.'