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⚠️This chapter mentions: Forced Actions/Rape⚠️
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When I woke up, the room was black. In fact, it was so dark I couldn't tell if my eyes were actually opened or closed. Within moments, I began panicking again. Was I lucid in a coma or was I just locked in a really dark room. I spread my arms wide to feel any nearby surroundings and started crying when my skin rubbed against thick covers beneath me; the realization that I was lying down on a bed in a pitch black room only made me more frantic. I ran my hands over my body and shivered in horror when I felt I was only wearing a pair of boxers.
My entire being trembled viciously as I feared that I'd be raped again. I wanted to scream but I couldn't bring myself to make any sound. So I tried to move; I tried to get up and run away but for some eerie reason my legs felt numb. I ran my shaking fingers over my thighs, poking and pinching them, and wanted to scream when I felt everything that I was doing. My skin wasn't numb, but my muscles somehow were.
"Cameron," Cooper suddenly moaned from right beside me, sounding like he was just hovering over my left ear. "You're so cute~! The way you're struggling and fighting to find out what's going on, haha! You're like a helpless little puppy."
"W..." I tried my hardest to speak. "Wh... Why?"
"Why, what? Why can't you feel your legs? What, are you silly? You needed your medicine," he chuckled. "Without it, you would be in a world of pain."
"N...No..."
"Ye-yes," he said, mocking my speech. "It hurts you to move. I need you still. You understand that, don't you?" He breathed audibly as he dragged his fingertips over my thigh, giving it a squeeze when his hand stopped just below my crotch. "It hurts you to move..."
His repetition of that sentence made it clear that it wasn't just his delusions confusing my and his mother's medicinal needs, but it was also a threat. Although he'd fallen victim to his psychosis, he was still somewhat able to control himself. He was lucid enough to threaten me while at the same time hallucinate and reminisce about his mom.
"You wanna tell me about these bruises?"
I didn't respond. Predominantly because I couldn't, but also because he knew that they were hickeys from Giorgi. He had to, what with stalking me and knowing that I was married.
"They're quite big...and frequent," he mumbled. "You like how it feels when he bites on you like that? ...I wouldn't have thought so. You said that you hated whenever I did it. That it hurt... I won't be more gentle with you this time. You've frustrated me a lot. You've really made me hate a lot more... It's strange being in love with you, you know. Because even though I hate you for putting me through so much hell these past several years, I can't shake this annoying, aching, crippling idea that you're supposed to be mine. You belong to me. Everything that makes you happy today, I gave to you. I introduced you to Giorgi. I'm the reason why Bryan reached out to you. You're fucking dog, I scared you into getting her. You're new Chevy—you got it to throw me off! I'm the reason why you're so happy, and you're the reason I'm fucking miserable! I should hate you so fucking much, but I need you to love me back! Do you understand how angry that makes me?! You get how that could drive someone crazy?!"
I cried quietly as he scolded me, feeling horrible for adding onto his problems so long ago. Had I known he was dealing with such a severe mental illness, I might've been able to do better by him. "I'm sorry," I whimpered.
"You're not sorry," he chuckled. "You're just scared."
"I'm really sorry, Cooper. I never thought that I hurt you so much but I'm sorry I did. I didn't mean to make you feel like you're pathetic or unworthy of love. I wanted to separate you from Erin because I knew you deserved better. She said that she loved you when she was manipulating you. I didn't say 'I love you' because I was doing the same. I didn't know it at the very moment that I was doing it, but I knew it felt wrong to tell you that when I didn't feel it."
"If you didn't feel it, why'd you act like you did?"
"I wanted you away from her. I thought she was the worst person that you could be with and she proved to be with every interaction I witnessed between both of you... I wanted you to focus on the fun that we could've had together and more often as best friends. I never initiated anything romantic or lustful with you because I didn't want anything like that."
"You teased me all the time," he scoffed.
I lifted my hand slowly, aiming to stroke his face to calm him down. "I was beyond socially oblivious when we first met," I mentioned. "I'm sorry I kept teasing, but I promise didn't mean to."
"Yes you did. You used Graham to make me want you more," he hissed.
"I took advantage of your infatuation with me to draw you further away from Erin," I explained briefly.
"So which is it?" Cooper growled. "Did you really have no idea that you were teasing me, or did you purposely take advantage of my feelings for you to make me want you more?"
I closed my mouth tightly, feeling even worse upon realizing that no matter what answer I gave, I was wrong. "I manipulated you either way," I admitted. "But please know that I never felt proud to do it. I always felt bad, but I thought you'd feel better away from Erin, whether it meant I had to make you like me more or what."
"So what was your plan if I did break myself away from Erin? You'd become my boyfriend? Remain my best friend but let me do what I want with you? Or, perhaps, were you thinking to leave me high and dry by my lonesome?"
"I never would've left you. I'd have stayed by your side as long as you wanted me to. I would've been your best friend and kept you away from anyone I found unhealthy for you. I was determined to make you happy, Cooper. Always. That was my only intention with you....but then you became mean and selfish. You didn't want me and Giorgi to hangout, you didn't want me to talk to or go on dates with other people even when you were still dating Erin, and you tried to make me feel bad for abandoning you when I thought you just wanted space. You beat and raped me for almost two months!"
"You initiated sex a few times. Don't act so high and mighty," he sneered.
"I would've done anything to keep you from hurting me. Me initiating sex was nothing but an escape from your beatings!" I said seriously.
Cooper just frowned a scowl at me and scoffed, grabbing a thick handful of my hair. "If that's really the case, I expect sex from you everyday for the next couple of months. If I don't get it, I'll beat you."
I flinched at his threat; it was so comfortable for him to say. Like he'd justified his future beatings on me by thinking I must've wanted them if I didn't let him rape me. "Y-y...you're.... You're disgusting, Cooper," I stuttered. "I'll never do anything like that with you again! I'd rather take a beating everyday than let you defile my and Giorgi's marriage!"
"Is that right?"
"Of course it is!"
"Even if Giorgi's dead?"
My heart stuttered and my lungs cramped up. "He's not... I know it. He's stronger than you and you're afraid of him. You obey every word he tells you like a little dog—"
Cooper slapped me with the back of his hand and the. gripped my jaws so hard they cracked. "Shut up, Cameron. I'm not afraid of that idiot."
"Oh, no? Then how come you waited until I was alone to break into our house and attack me? You're a punk, Cooper," I spat. "You and I both know you're terrified of Giorgi, and I can't wait to see what he'll do to you when he finds us."
"Big words coming from a guy who can't stop crying or shaking," he chuckled. "How about we make a deal, hmm?"
I didn't say anything.
"You're gonna play nice with me for a couple months, and I'll see if I want to let you go or not. That sound good to you?"
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