Will was gone again, and I found myself less concerned this time. Perhaps the fear that had gripped me so tightly had loosened its hold after the first trip. Or perhaps it was because I was currently strolling through a department store with Morgan Fields and she had laughed when I told her that. "Oh Anastasia, you finally understand it now."
"I still worry, but it's not the first thought I have when I wake up anymore." I shrugged, picking up a fan. The delicate lace spread between the lacquered ribs smoothly, and it made a crisp noise when I slapped it shut. I handed it to a salesman, nodding my head. "Now I'm mainly worried about finding ways to occupy myself at the offices, I keep going to the wireless room unless I have something to focus on. Tenny isn't exactly pleased that I'm still getting him to teach me, but at a much lower rate."
"Your mother doesn't know that, does she?"
"No, I made sure to keep it low enough she won't notice. A few dollars for every lesson."
Morgan shook her head. "I never had the thought to try to learn. Abe would have hated me if I had the option to message him while he was out."
"Because you would tell him how much you miss him all the time?"
"Because I would make sure he knew exactly what I was going through every time he left me here, pregnant. And what I wanted to do to him for leaving me like that." Morgan chuckled, examining a petticoat. "If he thought I was a terror when he got back, oh he would have hated to see me during the first few weeks."
"Ah," I winced a little, "I can't imagine you were very pleasant with the twins."
"Abe stayed in a hotel for a few weeks during them." Morgan shrugged, "Otherwise I might have killed him."
"It sounds as if being pregnant is not very pleasant." I turned to a stack of folded combinations, considering them. And considering that eventual fate for myself. That was what marriage led to, usually. A pregnant wife and a proud father. The thought of it scared me, it wasn't like women died in childbirth constantly anymore, but it wasn't unheard of either. And then the baby seemed to take so much time, and I'd seen young mothers, pale and drawn with dark circles under their eyes while their husbands congratulated each other. I shook the thought away, turning back to the clothing in front of me.
She began to rifle through them, "You'll learn eventually, although your mother was so terrified when she was pregnant with you she almost never left the house. Not that Gareth would have let her, he was convinced that if she so much as took one more step than was necessary she would lose you."
I swallowed, Mother had never spoken much about the time she had been pregnant with me. "She must have been so scared."
"She was happy." Morgan pulled three combinations from the pile, handing them off to the salesman following us. "It had taken so long for her, month after month of disappointment. There were a few times where she was with child, but she would lose them a month or two after. But you stayed, she was so happy that you did and she swore she would do nothing to bring any harm to you. Even if it meant she never left the house, didn't go to parties and ate only the blandest foods."
"I never knew." I muttered, swiping at my eyes. The tears weren't falling, but I could feel them.
"She doesn't care to talk about it." She gently bumped her shoulder to mine, "And you had better not tell her that I told you, or I might have to let her know what I told you to do with Will."
"You wouldn't!" I gasped, feeling a slight grin break out.
Morgan smirked, shrugging. "I might, now come along. It's time for us to be on our way." It was simple to collect our purchases and flag down a cab, although Morgan dropped me at the curb by the dock house rather than take me to her house. When I asked her why she affected a shudder, "Those boys need to get married, I swear. I come home to a mess every time. Half the reason I wanted you to marry Ezekiel was simply so that I might not have to collect his clothes from the floor every day."
"He does have two older brothers." I chuckled, stepping out of the cab. "Unmarried older brothers."
Morgan barked out a bitter laugh, "Don't remind me, they're just as bad. Although if you ever find you have a maid you don't need, send her to me." She grinned, "Save me, Anastasia, from the messes my children leave me every day." I could still hear her laughing as she closed the door, the cab starting off. I shook my head, stepping through the iron gate into the front of the house. It was a rather plain front yard, although a tree did provide some shade as I made my way up the path to the front door.
The house was running smoothly, and Louise was already in my rooms laying out a dinner dress for me when I left the new clothes with her. I did not stay, heading upstairs to the office. I hadn't changed the green color that Father had painted it, it was too painful to even think about. The only change I had made was to bring in a more feminine chair for the desk, I had almost drowned in the overstuffed leather one. It had found a new home in the library, and a smaller one upholstered in the Dalian colors was now what I occupied as I sat behind the desk.
Mr. Keller still attended to most of the day to day business, but he made sure to send me reports each week. Reviewing them took time, although I was rather thankful for it at the moment. Considering a proposed client, asking us to begin transporting potatoes of all things, made me think less about wanting to hear from Will. I couldn't abuse the wireless to constantly message him, not only did the wireless boys not like it, but I can imagine he would find it rather annoying. I snorted, signing the paper. We could carry potatoes, it would pay well enough. We'd carried worse in the past. Father had expressly forbid any cattle being onboard our ships after smelling the cargo hold after one trip.
The door opened, Peggy's voice rather amused. "Miss, Mr. Lightoller is downstairs. He has a gift."
I looked up from my papers, surprised. "Please, show him in. I'll be down in a moment." Peggy had a rather sly grin to her, her eyes dancing as she bobbed a small curtsy and headed back down. I looked to the windows, it was late enough for me to change into my dinner dress. Charles would appreciate joining me for dinner, I could tease him about making him stay longer. He might even miss the Oceanic leaving, although I knew he wouldn't. Louise didn't comment much as she buttoned me into the clean dress, and I quickly made my way down the stairs.
Charles had his back to me in the parlor when I got down, his attention fixed on something before him on the floor. His voice was firm, "Down, down!"
"Charles, whatever are you doing?" I laughed, coming around the settee. On the floor, jumping up, was a large black puppy. He barked as Charles pushed him back off his legs, jumping right back up and nipping at the gloves across Charles's lap. I gave a little cry, pressing my fingers to my lips. "Oh my, who is this?"
"A bloody nuisance," He chuckled, "Although you can name him whatever you like."
I knelt down, extending a hand. "Really? You brought me a puppy?" Said puppy was currently considering my fingers, sniffing at them slightly. "He's adorable."
"Will wrote to me, said he was worried about you being on your own while he's out. I thought to myself, why not get her a dog? Something to take with her on walks and be a bit of protection." Charles gently tugged on the puppy's leather collar, although he was tugging against him hard, determined to get to my fingers. "He's a tenacious little thing."
"My word, look at those paws." I said, lifting one up into my hand. It almost covered my palm, and when I spread his toes I could see a thin web of skin between them. "What is that?"
"He's a Newfoundland, wonderful swimmers. Their paws are rather like a duck's foot." Charles ruffled his ears, "I've got a friend who's a breeder, they'd just had a bitch whelp a few weeks before I came around. He said he'd be a good dog for you, loyal and trusting." He joined me on the floor, chuckling when the puppy returned to trying to get his gloves. "He's going to be big, and rather hairy."
I pulled the puppy to my lap, watching him twist around and snap at my fingers. "And a handful!"
"That he will be, you'll need to think of a name for him too."
I considered it for a moment, "Perhaps Rigel, something regal if he's to be a society dog. Yes, Rigel will suit him just fine." I let my fingers play across his soft belly, smiling when I saw one back leg begin to kick. He was so different from the little lap dogs that I saw when visiting, or the hounds that some kept at their country houses so they could pretend to go on a fox hunt. Rigel, content to gently gnaw on my finger, stared up at me with a clear pair of brown eyes. "Well thank you Charles, thank you for bringing me something to warm my bed while Will's gone."
"Ah, Anastasia, we both know Will hasn't warmed your bed for a few months now." Charles grinned. He reached over, rubbing the Rigel's belly. "He sounded so worried in his letter though, care to tell me what set him off like that?"
"I wouldn't." I shook my head, dropping my nose down to inhale a bit of the clean scent of Rigel. I jerked it back though when he lunged for me, trying to climb up my shoulders. "He really has terrible manners, doesn't he?"
"He's young," He chuckled, "A bit of training will set him right. You've had dogs before, right?"
"Only one," I smiled wistfully, "She was rather old when I was born, only made it a few more years. Father was so broken up by her passing he never got another."
"Ah, well, they tend to respond well to treats if they do something right." Charles snapped his fingers, trying to get Rigel's attention. "I've been using some liver with him, he'll at least sit for it." The puppy continued to ignore him, instead reaching up to begin licking at my face.
I began to laugh, and unbalanced, fell onto my back. Rigel took the opportunity to practically jump onto me, licking my face enough that I had to raise my hands to try and push him away. He was clever though, always twisting and coming back to me. It took Charles picking him up to get him to stop, and I grinned at him from my place on the floor. "Would you like to stay for dinner, Charles?"
"I fear I'm going to have to stay for longer, if this one," He gently shook Rigel in his hands, "Can't control himself." Holding the puppy in one hand, he helped me back to my feet. Rigel wound up following us to the dining room, curling up underneath a chair as we sat. Charles chuckled as he watched him, "My boys were very upset that they could not keep him."
"I'm sure you can get them a dog of their own." I smiled, leaning down to look at Rigel, who was currently trying his damndest to keep his eyes open, and failing miserably. It was only a few minutes before they slid shut, his breath little huffs. Fortunately my purse had been restored, so I was able to provide a decent dinner for Charles, including a main course of steaks. I sighed as I bit into a piece of mine, "Ah, that is truly good. Do you think Rigel might want some?"
Charles shook his head, cutting his own steak. "Not unless you'd like him to leave a mess all over the house. Lean meats for him, and some vegetables. Your cook should know what to give him."
"Poor boy," I muttered, looking down at the still sleeping Rigel. "You're saddling him with someone who's never had a dog before."
"You'll do fine," Charles sipped at his wine, "So long as you don't let him go completely wild." Rigel was still asleep when Charles left, after giving me a hug and letting me know when he'd next be in, and that he'd be expecting a dinner that night. I found myself back in the dining room, pulling the chair Rigel was sleeping under back. He blearily opened his eyes, sniffing around, and then giving a whine.
It tore at my heart, "Oh, what is it?"
"Let me handle this, Miss." One of the footmen clearing the table said, collecting Rigel from the floor. "He'll need to handle his business outside. We'll see to that." He chucked Rigel under the chin, smiling. "Although he'd probably like a nice warm place to sleep through the night. We can set up a pillow by the oven for him."
"Oh, no." I reached over, ruffling Rigel's ears. "He can sleep in my rooms." By the time Louise had got me into my nightgown Rigel had been deposited in my sitting room, and gave a great yawn when I came out. That was followed up by another whine, and he continued at it as he looked to the door. I knelt down by him, "Here boy, come here."
He had just made it to my fingers when Louise saw him, "Miss Dalian, when did you get him?"
"This afternoon," I picked Rigel up, cradling him to my chest. He gave a slight snuffle, burrowing himself against me. "Mr. Lightoller brought him as a gift, isn't he the most darling little thing?"
"He's the most hairy little thing." Louise picked at my sleeve, "I'll be having to get everything washed twice as often now. And brush down anything you wear. Oh, Miss Peggy will have fits at the expense."
"Oh come now," I pressed a small kiss to Rigel's head. "He can't be that much trouble." At that Louise simply shook her head, stepping out into the hallway. I cuddled Rigel close as I got into bed, and he seemed content to bury himself under the blankets and up against my side. With one arm wrapped around him, I fell asleep quickly. It felt good to have this little furry bundle next to me, and I could hear his soft little breaths as he slept.
The footman from the night before came to collect Rigel in the morning, he was handed over by a grateful Louise who set to trying to find something in my wardrobe that would not show the hair that she assured me Rigel would begin leaving behind any moment. There was a small amount on my nightgown, but nothing that a quick brushing couldn't handle. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Rigel playing with the footman, tugging on a piece of rope that he had acquired somewhere. I knelt down by him, "Do they like that?"
"Oh, they love it, Miss." He grinned, batting at Rigel's ears. "Here, just tug it gently." He handed me his end of the rope, and Rigel dropped it for a moment until I pulled on it. Then he pounced, whipping his head back and forth as he tugged against me. He was rather strong, although I was still able to drag him towards me. The footman reached over, "You have to let him win a bit, otherwise they get upset."
I relaxed my grip, letting Rigel tug away. "How do you know so much about dogs?"
"Oh, we had a pack of them when I was growing up." He sat up, sitting cross legged on the floor. "Always seemed like someone had a new puppy. Not that I ever complained." We passed the morning playing with Rigel, only stopping when the cook emerged with some pieces of chicken for Rigel. He tore into them happily, making a bit of a mess. The footman shook his head when I reached to start cleaning it up, "Go take him for a walk, Miss. I found an old leash in the stables, go take him out and buy a new one."
I found the old leash, the snap to attach it to his collar a bit rusted but the leather still supple, on a table and secured it to Rigel's collar. The carriage was waiting for me to take my morning trip to the offices, and I looked at Rigel as I set him on the floor. "Just for the morning, boy. Then we'll go shopping for you." He gave a little whine as the carriage started out, moving closer to my legs, but quickly got distracted by chewing on the leash no matter how many times I pulled it out of his mouth. I sighed, I would be buying several leashes it looked like. The staff at the offices didn't comment on Rigel, simply nodding to me as I headed up. Rigel began sniffing around my office as I set to behind the desk, leaving behind the approved reports for Mr. Keller and pulling out a sheaf of papers that had been left. I had just begun to look through them when I heard the door open.
"No! Bad, you don't do that here." Ezekiel bounded through the door, leaning down and lifting Rigel by his scruff. The puppy immediately began to whine, his little paws trying to grasp at the air. "He was lifting his leg on your bookshelf, Annie! Didn't you stop to let him do his business before you came in?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Rigel, I didn't." I stood, moving over to him. Ezekiel had shifted him to his arm, holding him against his chest. "I only got him yesterday, and you know I've never really had a pet before Zeke."
"He'll need training, that way he can tell you when he has to do it." He ruffled Rigel's ears. "I assume you'll need help with that."
"Well, one of the servants has some experience, but Will did say he wanted him to be for my protection, while he's gone." I scratched my way down Rigel's back. "I don't know if he knows how to do that."
"I can help." Ezekiel chuckled, "Although he needs a better leash."
"Well, I was about to go shopping. Care to join us?" I smiled as Ezekiel nodded, and after letting Rigel relieve himself against a wall outside, we set out for a department store. Rigel was content to trot along beside us, although he did lunge at a passing lady every now and then, entranced by their trailing skirts. I lunged after him when his front paws landed on one, picking him up. "Oh, I'm sorry. He's just so playful."
The lady turned, revealing a pale face and a pair of dancing blue eyes. "Oh, Anastasia! How lovely to see you again."
"Your Highness," I nodded, holding Rigel a little tighter as I stood up.
"And who is this? Why Anastasia, he must be a very special friend to be escorting you while your fiancé is away." Sophie cut her eyes over to Ezekiel, her perfect pink lips splitting in a smile.
I looked to Ezekiel, who was beet red and currently considering the shine of his shoes. "This is my friend Ezekiel Fields, he is helping me find things for Rigel here." I lifted the puppy in my arms, "Ezekiel, Her Highness Sophie Metternich. Zachary Reichster's fiancée.
"Oh, how wonderful." Sophie, ignoring Ezekiel completely, wiggled her fingers in front of Rigel's nose, only pulling them back when he lunged for them. "I am here to get a fitting done for my opera cape, my old one simply would not do. Are you planning on attending? It is rather soon."
"I am not sure, Your Highness." I shrugged, focusing on her eyes. "I have a great many things to take away my time."
"One must always make time for art, Anastasia." Sophie reached out, gently touching my arm. "I would be delighted if you would join me in Zachary's box for the opening."
Ezekiel's head snapped up, "Oh, she doesn't need to do that. They have their own box."
"Then I shall simply have to visit during the performance," Sophie smiled, "I should so dearly like to see Mr. Murdoch again, your fiancé," At that her eyes flashed over to Ezekiel again, "Is always gone, it seems."
"Well, we shall see about that." I gave a rather tight lipped smile, "I hope your fitting goes well, Your Highness."
"And I hope your shopping is successful." Sophie gave a little simper as she started off, a maid, no doubt her chaperone, following her. Ezekiel at least held it together until we reached the very small section of the store devoted to pets.
He stared at me as I considered a leash. "She's marrying Zachary?"
"That tends to be what a fiancée does." I muttered, sliding a couple of leashes over my arm. "Why are you so shocked about this?"
"Because she greeted you." He said, handing me a larger collar than what Rigel was wearing. "He'll need one soon, he'd going to get big. I just can't believe she greeted you like you were an old friend, right here, where people could see. Hasn't she heard that you and them don't get along?"
"She's seen it in action." I shrugged, "Oscar even let it slip that Zachary proposed to me before her, with the same ring."
He snorted at that, "At least that Vanderbilt is good for something. What are you going to do if she comes to your box, though?"
"Make small talk and try not to punch Zachary." I chuckled, "And try to keep Will from killing him on sight."
"You should have told him exactly what he said about you at the charity ball." Ezekiel looked over, his mouth thin. "When I told him, he threw his empty bottle at a wall and shattered it. I've never heard a man curse like that, Annie. Or describe exactly what he wants to do to another man in such detail."
"Would you care to share that?" I turned, with my arms full of enough things for Rigel that they would fill a drawer.
Ezekiel, reaching down to scratch Rigel's head, laughed. "Oh, if I told you Annie I'd give you nightmares."
AN: Now, you might be wondering, why a dog named Rigel? Well, there's an urban legend that during the sinking a lifeboat spotted a large black Newfoundland dog swimming around, barking for his master. The dog was brought onboard the Carpathia, no worse for the wear, and someone recognized it as William Murdoch's dog, Rigel. This was reported in a few papers, but nothing was ever substantiated, so it remains an urban legend. But I figured why not let it be true here?