Today is Eva's birthday. We're just having a small celebration. It's also a farewell party so some of my family are here to say good bye to me and the kids since we don't know when we will see each other again.
My dad is coming too. I haven't really seen or talked to him since he found out about what my aunt did. He's actually been really hard on himself. He thinks it's his fault that it happened.
"Yeji, I can't believe you're moving to the states. I'm so glad you didn't ruin your life" my mom's sister smiles at me.
I'm at the living room with Ervin. I feel like it's a good place where people can find me if they want to talk to me. There's a few of us gathered here. Travis and Ryujin are in charge of the barbecue so they're busy. Eva is busy with playing with the other kids
"I'm so glad you stopped doing drugs, you look so much healthier now" another one says.
I guess it's not really a family gathering without the compliment insult combo where they sound like they're complimenting you but their words are kind of dissing you.
"You know if you can't find a good man, I guess a woman will do" one cousin says.
"You'd be jealous to have a woman like Ryujin to be your partner" Karina sits next to me.
"Why does everyone keep looking down on Ryujin? So if she was a man then she would be a great partner but since she's a woman she's still good but she doesn't equal to a good man?" My sister questions them.
"Tell me, what has your men given you? What have they done for you that's not required of them?" She puts the word required in quotations.
"Karina, it's okay. I know how amazing Ryujin is. I don't need their validation" I say.
"But I still wanna know. What makes their men better than Ryujin" my sister refuses to back down.
"Well like stuff around the house" my one cousin says.
"Ryujin does that" my sister shrugs her shoulders, "She helped Travis with the nursery for TJ. She's in the middle of building Yeji her literal dream home."
"What else?" My sister is really annoyed right now. I really love how she always stands up for me.
"We get it, Karina" my first aunt says.
"Why are you getting defensive? If Yeji is okay with it then why aren't you? Is something going on between you and Ryujin?"
"I'm not okay with it but I just don't see a point of wasting my time to explain something to everyone that I know won't accept it anyways. Karina brings up a valid point. Ryujin is a supporting, loving, caring partner. So yes, she's not in the same category as a good man, she's better than that" I finally say.
"We're sorry, Yeji" my second aunt apologizes.
"Look, I know a lot of you are new to seeing a same sex couple like this. We've seen them in public or in shows but never someone we know. It's okay to have questions but please don't disrespect us in the process" I tell them.
"So we can ask questions?" My cousin ask.
"Yes."
"About sex—"
"I'm not gonna talk about sex in front of my aunts" I cut my cousin off.
"Can I message you it later then?" She ask.
"Fine" I give in.
"Does it feel different? Like the hugging and kissing and affection?" My first aunt ask.
"No. Personally, I like it better but that's only with Ryujin. I still don't really consider myself as gay. I just don't want to put a label on who I am anymore. I'm just happy to be with Ryujin" I say.
"You've always liked taller men and you're pretty tall. Is it weird to be with someone shorter?" My cousin ask.
"What kind of a question is that?" My sister teases her.
"You know how she made a big deal before that she would never date a shorter guy" my cousin says.
"But Ryujin is not a guy so I'm not a hypocrite" I chuckle.
"Food is ready! Come on and grab your fill! Let Chef Travis fill that tum tum with some yum yum!" Travis announces.
Karina sighs, "I love him, don't be embarrassed" my sister whispers to herself.
My family stands up to head to the kitchen, "Aren't you gonna eat?" My first aunt ask.
"I'll eat later" I say.
"Nope, you're eating now" Ryujin walks in, "I'll hold Ervin. I made you a plate" she puts the plate on the table then she takes Ervin from me.
"Thank you" I say while grabbing the plate.
"Aren't you gonna eat?" I ask.
"Travis and I already ate. It's a secret though" she smiles at me.
"Wow that's so sweet. She made you a plate and you didn't even ask her to" my cousin comments.
"I want to find someone like that" she makes one last comment before going to the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" Ryujin ask me once we're alone.
"I'm good. Typical family get together stuff" I say.
"This is good" I say after I finish my first bite.
"Thanks, Travis will take credit for it" she laughs.
"Have you seen Eva?" I ask.
"Yeah, your mom is keeping an eye on her."
Someone knocks on the door.
"I'll get it. Continue eating your food" Ryujin gets up while holding Ervin.
"Oh, Mr. Hwang" I hear Ryujin say. I turn around to find my dad standing outside the door.
I put my plate down and walk towards them.
"Dad, you made it" I say.
"I'm already a bad father. I don't want to make it worse by missing your good bye party. Who knows when I'll see you again" he comes in and hugs me.
"You can always visit us, dad. You're more than welcome" I hug him back.
"Right, Ryujin?" I pull away from the hug to look at Ryujin.
"Of course" she answers right away.
"You're not mad at me?" He ask Ryujin.
"Not at all. You were standing up for your family. I can't be mad" Ryujin chuckles.
"Still I could have handled things better" my dad says.
"When we get into the heat of the moment, sometimes we lose control. It's okay but at least now you're aware so you know what to work on in the future" Ryujin says.
Why does Ryujin sound sexy to me when she says stuff like that? She's so mature and I just want her to touch me. I shake my head to get that dirty thought out.
"Come in, dad. There's food in the kitchen. Eva is somewhere playing" I pull him in and close the door.
"When are you leaving?" My dad ask.
"A week from now. You're coming to the wedding right?" I ask him.
"I don't know. Things are tight right now financially" he says.
"My family and I can get you a ticket" Ryujin says so my dad snaps his head towards her.
"What? No, you don't have to do that" my dad waves his hands in front of him.
"It's not a big deal. My family offered it to pay for everyone's plane tickets but Yeji said no so I know they'll be okay with it" Ryujin informs him.
"I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back" my dad is clearly hesitant.
"You don't have to. It would make Yeji sad if her dad can't attend the wedding and I aim to please my future wife" Ryujin states.
My dad thinks about it for a bit, "Okay, only because I don't want to miss my daughter's wedding."
"Thank you, dad" I smile at him.
"Can I hold Ervin?" My dad ask.
"Of course" Ryujin hands him to my dad.
"Oh boy he's getting big. You have the Hwang's eyes. You're gonna break so many women's heart when you grow up" my dad coos Ervin.
"He will not. He will be a gentleman" I say.
"Of course he will. He's gonna learn from Ryujin" my dad jokes.
"You bet. No player under my watch" Ryujin laughs.
"Oh you two stop" I smile.
"Dad, you're here" Karina joins us.
"Why are you standing here? Let's go sit down or something" My sister pulls my dad to the living room.
I'm about to walk to the living to join my dad and sister but she stops me so I look at her to see what's up.
"Can we go for a walk?" She ask.
"Sure, let me just tell them" I say.
"Okay, I'll wait outside."
I inform my sister and my dad that Ryujin and I are just going for a short walk. I go outside to find Ryujin sitting on the sidewalk.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
She stands up and wipes off loose dirt off her butt, "Yea, I just wanted to be alone with you for a bit. A lot of people there and I kinda got overwhelmed."
I take her hand and we start walking, "Does being with me really help you calm down?"
"Mhm" she brings our hands in front of us to look at, "I enjoy simple moments like this. I do find it calming."
"Well whenever you feel overwhelmed again, I'll stop whatever I'm doing and I'll hold your hand, deal?" I look at her.
"Deal" she has the biggest smile on her face.
We finish our walk and go back to the party.
We sang happy birthday to Eva. We played some games. We sang karaoke. Overall, it was a good party.
Tomorrow, we start packing to move to the states.