I leave Lupin's classroom and try and find Draco. I don't think he would have had time to go to the astronomy tower so I head to the library first. I look around but all I see is stressed sixth years crouched over mountains of books. I check the great hall next but it's empty apart from Filch aggressively sweeping the floor. I make my way to the Slytherin common room since it's the last place I can think of. Sure enough Draco is sitting down in a corner flicking a book open and closed with his wand.
"Draco", I say softly.
He looks up at me but doesn't say anything.
I sit down next to him. He continues flicking the book open and closed, ignoring my presence.
"Are you alright?", I ask as gently as possible.
He pauses and stops flicking the book.
"What do you think, (Y/N)", he sighs.
"What happened in that class Draco..", I begin.
"Nothing happened", he says firmly.
"Draco, the boggart", I say.
"It's just a boggart. They probably change all the time", he says, shuffling away from me.
"I don't understand you", I say.
He laughs suddenly, "You're one to talk", he says.
"I came to check on you.", I pause. "BecauseI care about you. Even though we're not talking right now, I still care about you.", I look at him with stern eyes.
Something flickers, like a light switch in his eyes and his face relaxes.
"My worst fear is you getting hurt", he leans his head down.
"Or losing you".
"I'm not going to get hurt and you aren't going to lose me", I reassure him.
"I already have lost you", he whispers.
"No.", I say shortly.
"How can you say that when we barely talk anymore?", He asks.
"Because i need you just as much as you need me. I cant imagine life without you in it", I say without thinking. The words flood out of me like water and suddenly I feel as though I can breathe again.
Draco's hand reaches for mine and I let him take it. It feels safe here, just us in the corner of the room. Im not going to leave him alone and I will do whatever it takes to make him realize that.
"I'm scared for you (Y/N)", he murmurs.
"I'm scared too", I say.
"I wont let anything happen to you. I'll keep you safe okay?", he says.
"You don't have to protect me Draco".
"I know I don't. But I want to because...", he pauses.
"Because what?", I ask.
"Nothing.", he says dropping my hand.
"What's wrong?", I ask, startled.
"I'm sorry for what I said to Hermione I didn't mean if you have to believe me, I'll apologize at dinner", he says without taking a breath.
"You cant say things like that Draco. You just can't. And there's no point just saying you'll stop and not knowing why you're stopping. I'm scared Draco, that you think..", I take a breath.
"That you think the way your father does".
"You really think that little of me?", he says and I can sense the hurt in his voice.
"No Draco I just, I need to know for sure", I say pleadingly.
"No", he says shakily.
"I was mad. And I said the first hurtful thing that came to mind. And I'm sorry for that but you have no right to bring my father into this".
"I didn't mean it like that", I say.
"AND NEITHER DID I", he shouts.
"Draco I-".
He gets up from where we're sitting and leaves the room, leaving me feeling like an idiot. I rub my eyes and get up, not bothering to try and follow him, he needs space when he's mad, I understand that.
At dinner I sit with the trio, anxiously playing with my food. They chat among themselves while I stare down at the unappealing food on my plate.
"Hermione", a voice from behind me says.
"Back again?", Ron laughs.
"Draco", she says sternly.
"I'd like to apologize", he says.
"For?".
"For what I said to you the other day.", he says taking a breath. Hermione doesn't take her eyes off him.
"It was a cruel, disgusting thing for me to say.", he continues. Hermione's brow furrows.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I wont use that word against you or anyone again.", he says quietly.
"That's all", he nods and walks away leaving our table in a state of shock.
"Bloody hell", Ron says.
"That was very brave of him", Hermione says.
"Brave? How in the hell is that brave?", Ron complains.
"So you accept his apology?", Harry asks.
"I'm not going to be petty. At least he apologized", Hermione explains.
"Fair enough. I still despise him though", Harry says.
"I dislike him too, but I accept his apology", Hermione says.
"Mhm, hell do it again and don't say I didn't warn you", Ron spits.
"Are you okay (Y/N)?", Harry asks. "You're very quiet".
"Just not feeling too good. I think I'll head to bed", I lie.
"Oh okay".
I get up from the table as they cast me suspicious looks.
"Hope you feel better", Ron says as I walk off.
"You too", I shout. "Huh?".
"I mean...thanks!", I shout.
If they weren't already suspicious they definitely are now.
I rush up to my dorm room and grab some parchment and a quill.
I scribble on it quickly. It reads, "Dear Draco, meet me at the spot at 10pm, (Y/N)". I fold it up quickly and hand it to midnight who fly's down through the castle to find Draco.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to write that so quickly but I feel as though now the wall between me and Draco has been broken down and nothing is keeping us apart.
I think about the people in my life one by one. My parents, who I thought were my everything but it turns out I actually know nothing about them. Harry, Ron and Hermione. Three great friends, there for me when I need them and loyal always. I think about Blaise, the ray of sunshine in my life when it's so dark I can't see. He never fails to make me laugh and turns any awkward situation around.
Then I think about Draco. Draco Malfoy. There's a feeling in my stomach when I think about him that I don't quite understand. I've never felt it before, it feels good and bad. I feel as though he understands my every move before I even make it. Everything is unclear except for him. Draco is home now, and there's nothing I can do to change it. Sitting on my bed, flat on my back I vow to myself that I will never let anything come between us again.