When I told Ate Jocelyn about what happened during lunch with Mommy, she was not shocked that Lola Francesca was into girls.
We were at the breakfast table that Saturday morning.
There were crispy bacon, omelet with grated cheddar cheese and thinly sliced green onions and toasted whole wheat bread.
As usual, the mugs of steaming cups of coffee were ready.
Ate bought a coffee machine because she said she will die without coffee.
Habang kumakain ay nagkuwento si Ate tungkol sa sinabi ni Lola noong nabubuhay pa ito.
"Kapag nasa farm kami at namimitas ng mga bulaklak, she would tell me the story of a friend of hers from years ago who would give her bouquets of yellow roses."
"Lola's face would light up kapag nagkikuwento siya. Bata pa ako noon kaya I didn't thought any of it. I thought bestfriend niya iyong babae. Baka namimiss niya kaya lagi niyang binabanggit." Kumagat siya ng toast habang mahigpit ang hawak ko sa mainit na coffee mug.
"She mentioned na ang flower shop ng friend niya was named Una Rosa. Iyon daw ang reason kung bakit iyon din ang pinangalan niya sa sarili niyang negosyo. Hindi niya daw kasi alam kung buhay pa ang friend niya. Dahil they were very close, she chose to remember her that way."
"Did she tell you her friend's name?"
"Hindi din. Parang blind item lang." Tumawa si Ate.
Kumuha siya ng tinapay at pinalamanan ng butter bago binigay sa akin.
"You would think na since well-known ang mga Damasco, there would be records or articles about their history."
"The Damasco's are fiercely private. They talk about business and that's it. The most public they got was when the youngest got married. Even then, wala masyadong details other than sino ang mapapangasawa ni Cecilia at kailan ang wedding. Ni hindi nga sinabi ang exact date at location ng kasal kasi family affair lang."
"Sino nga kaya ang secret lover ni Lola?" Kumagat ako sa tinapay.
"I don't know. But it must have been really bad if Lolo had to bring her to the US. It was definitely motivated by jealousy."
"Ang haba ng hair noong babae. Imagine. She was connected to Lola Stella and then may gusto din sa kanya si Lolo tapos she had an affair with Lola Francesca."
"It is very intriguing. Ano bang meron sa kanya for all of them to be smitten? Hindi lang isa, hindi lang dalawa kundi tatlo sila na nagkagusto sa babaeng iyon."
"Hindi ko din alam and I am puzzled as well. Pero gusto kong makita ang unidentified object of their affection. Do you think buhay pa siya?"
"I have no idea. Between us, we are just speculating. Ang isa pang tanong ay kung sakaling buhay pa siya, gusto din ba niya na ungkatin ang nakaraan? What if she chose to be quiet?"
"That would be a challenge. For our part, it would remain as unanswered question. A dead end."
"Lalo na sa mga tulad nila na sobrang yaman. They value their privacy above anything else. This kind of revelation is sure to shake their quiet existence."
"Noong active pa ako sa modeling, marami akong rich kids na nakasalamuha who were very gay. They were very careful not to let their secret out. Sobrang tagong-tago sila kasi alam mo na? Pagkakakitaan sila ng mga media and news outlets. Puwedeng gamiting blackmail ang mga ginagawa nila."
"Pera-pera lang talaga ang labanan ano?"
"So, don't be surprised if nothing will come out of this. Besides, I don't want you get in more trouble with the Damasco." She touched the top of my hand from across the table.
Ate asked about the call from Attorney Salazar.
"Did she tell you anything about the documents?"
"She didn't. Basta pumunta ako sa office niya to pick it up."
"Nagtataka lang ako. Ang tagal nang wala ni Lola. Bakit ngayon pa?"
"Hindi ko din alam. But after learning about what happened, ngayon ko lang nalaman ang iba pang bagay tungkol sa kanya. I never thought that she cheated on Lolo."
"Galit ka ba sa kanya?"
"Hindi. I'm sure she has her reasons kung bakit niya nagawa ang bagay na iyon. I also understand the fear. Kung ngayon nga I still experience discrimation because of who I am, noong panahon pa kaya niya when equality was not even a thought?"
"Kunsabagay. Nakakaawa nga din si Lola kasi she had to endure the all that abuse from Lolo. Nasa Amerika sila pero di makapagdivorce dahil dito sila kinasal."
"Ang dami nating hindi alam tungkol sa kanya. I wonder how she handled everything? Just the thought na hindi sila puwedeng magsama ng taong mahal niya was heartbreaking."
"But she was already married to Lolo when she met this woman. Nagcheat pa din siya and that's what bothers me."
"May dahilan pa din kung bakit niya nagawa iyon."
"Kahit na." Ate's tone was hard.
Parang may pinaghuhugutan.
"Kung anuman ang reason ni Lola, I couldn't completely blame Lolo Pedro. Baka pinoprotektahan niya lang ang pamilya niya? I know it's easier said than done but why cheat? Lalo na at kasal na siya. Doon ako napapapuzzle."
Ate Jocelyn looked perplexed.
"Is that the reason why you and Blair divorced? Was he cheating on you?"
Ate met my gaze and I saw the pain lurking behind her dark brown eyes.
"Yes. Pero kilala mo naman ako. I'm not the jealous type. Sa work namin, there are lots of beautiful men and women. The physicality, our bodies, iyon ang puhunan namin."
"I always thought I have a good head on my shoulders. Kaya ko i-handle ang flirtation, blatant or subtle. I know my limits. Kilala ko ang sarili ko so I know my boundaries."
"Blair was the opposite. He was this typical guy who capitalized on this alibi na very common dito sa atin. But just because palay ang lumalapit sa manok does not mean kailangan mong tukain." She scoffed.
"Pero dahil kasal ako sa kanya at kahit isang Elvis impersonator ang nag-officiate sa kasal namin, I respected that union. Pinanindigan ko ang pagiging wife niya dahil I really loved him. But I could only understand so much. He constantly lied about his affairs and before I'm in too deep into the rabbit hole, I decided to end it." Huminga siya ng malalim.
She had been here for days and she was always keeping herself busy.
I'm afraid that she was avoiding her emotions kaya most of the time ay umaalis siya.
But I could never deny that despite the tough persona she projected, my sister was very lonely.
"It's hard to start over, Isa. Hindi ko alam kung saan mag-uumpisa."
"Why don't you begin with healing, Ate?"
May nasaling yata ako dahil her eyes had a sharp glow and then it disappeared and softened.
"I know you always wanted me to see the strong side of you but you don't have to be like that all the time. You are in pain. It's okay to cry and be sad about it." Her tears fell.
It was a trickle at first until it became a steady stream.
Tumayo ako at niyakap siya.
I thought of Mommy and how I did the same thing yesterday.
We were all in a place of hurting.
It's time to start our journey of healing.
But it depends on when we want to start and when we'll get to that part when we can finally put everything behind us.
Pagkatapos kumain ay naghanda na ako for my meeting with Attorney Salazar.
Hindi na ako pinaghugas ni Ate ng mga pinagkainan.
Siya na daw ang bahala tutal wala naman siyang gagawin kundi manood ng zombie movies o di kaya matulog.
Attorney Salazar's office was in a high rise building in Pasig.
The glass façade reflected the passing clouds and when I looked up, the top was like a pyramid.
May guwardiya sa reception area at tinanong kung ano ang pakay ko doon.
After sabihin ang reason, binigay niya ang floor at room number niya ng Salazar Law Office.
Nagpasalamat ako at lumakad papunta sa elevators.
It only took a few minutes dahil wala akong nakasabay on the way to the sixth floor.
When the door opened, I walked towards the right side of the wide slate gray hallway.
The names of the businesses were in block and thick silver letters.
Nang mahanap ko ang opisina, I pressed the doorbell.
When I heard a click, I pushed the wooden door at ang sumalubong sa akin mismo ay si Attorney.
She wore blue hoodies, black track pants and fluorescent pink running shoes.
The last time I saw her was two days after Lola passed away.
Ang buhok niya was past her shoulders.
Ngayon, it reached past her ears in a one-length bob.
The office smelled of freshly brewed-coffee.
Attorney Salazar was eating a croissant.
Pinatong niya sa platito ang kinakain and then pinagpag ang kamay.
The room was very quiet.
Siya lang yata ang nandito.
"I'm glad you're here, Isa." She smiled, stretched her hand and we shook.
"Nasa office ang mga documents ng lola mo. Follow me."
Dinala niya ang platito and then took a left on a narrow hallway.
The walls were dark paneled and the frosted glass doors offered ample privacy.
The door to her office was open.
Sa dingding ay nakapaskil ang mga framed diplomas.
Nakapatong sa shelf ang pictures nang family niya.
There was a woman who was all smiles beside Attorney Salazar.
She had one arm around the woman's shoulder.
They did not look alike.
Thoughts ran in my head about their relationship but then my attention shifted to the brown leatherette couch.
May nakapatong doon na heavy duty storage box.
"Here it is." Nakangiting tinuro niya ang kahon.
"Pandora's box." She joked.
I frowned and the smile quickly left her face.
"Her instructions are inside that box. Ang sabi niya, once I hand it over to you, buksan mo ang sulat na nasa loob."
"Like right now?"
"Right now or when you're alone. It's up to you."
"Was that really a part of her instruction?"
"Oo. We have to follow it to the letter."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. I respect my client's wishes. Kahit wala na sila dito, they can be sure that I will hold on to my word."
"Aside from the letter, wala talaga siyang sinabi sa'yo tungkol sa laman ng kahon na iyan?"
"Uh uh. Basta ang sabi niya, tawagan kita when it was the right time. That box has been in storage for seven years. Mabuti at kukunin mo na. It's time for it to go home." Matalinhagang sabi niya.
Lumapit siya sa white ergonomic sit/stand desk with the flat screen black PC monitor at black corded phone.
She grabbed a piece of paper and asked me to sign it.
"These are the last documents in your grandmother's will."
Nakatingin siya sa akin habang pumipirma.
Pagkabalik sa kanya ng document ay lumapit ako sa couch.
Nakaseal ang kahon and when I lifted the box, it was very heavy.
Ano ba ang laman nito?
Ginto?
A laugh bubbled inside my chest but I swallowed it away.
I thanked Attorney Salazar for helping my grandmother.
"Not a problem. I hope whatever is in that box will give you some answers."
"Are you sure she didn't tell you anything about this?"
"The only thing she said was, she hopes it's not too late."
I took a very deep breath.
All this mystery is very disturbing.
I said goodbye and walked to the elevator.
When I reached the truck, I placed the box in the passenger seat.
I debated whether to open it now or to wait till later.
I was going to meet with Nat to deliver the flowers today.
Kung buksan ko ang kahon ngayon, baka may mga surprises si Lola na nakalaan para sa akin.
Baka madistract ako.
Pero ang habilin niya kay Attorney, buksan ko ang kahon at basahin ang sulat na nasa loob nito.
Kaya ba ng puso ko na i-handle ang mga sasabihin ni Lola?
What if atakihin ako sa puso?
"Don't be ridiculous." I chastised myself before opening the glove compartment to get the box opener.
With shaking hands, I sliced through the seal.